howhas my post suddenlly turned into polish girls are more beautiful than english???????-
They always do, didn't you know that us English women are inferior to them ;-)
Don't take any notice, besides, Southern
is just some despo who can only dream of having a beautiful older woman!
Help is not something you are going to get in here - a lot of Polish men are just like a lot of English men - now have a long think how you would react if some 33 y/o English guy was behaving like this, you wouldn't visit a forum - you'd talk to your friends and then you would tell him to getthefuckoutofhere. Starting again at any age isn't easy and Im sure you don't relish the thought, but life is too precious to waste one minute on someone who doesn't respect you 100%.
As for your illness, you need to be around people who are going to be supportive and helpful out of kindness and not because they are looking for something in return, this isn't going to help you - it's just going to drain you of the energy you need to fully recover.
Good luck x