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having an affair with a Polish man (but he has a wife and a child)


Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
26 Jan 2007 /  #91
mobile,

I have everything I need right here. I might flirt and I might be tempted, but I'm not stupid enough to screw up my marriage.

How do I know ? Because I'm old enough to have seen it in others.

There is more to a relationship than sex. And it's not so easy to face up to a divorce.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #92
well it depends what u want out of life, if i find someone i like and want i will go for it whatever
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
26 Jan 2007 /  #93
And that's it. You are thinking of yourself and not his family.

Picture the day he says to his daughter 'I'm getting divorced, don't bother to phone'

Do you really think it is that easy to take a man ?

It will take a lot longer than two months before he risks everything to marry you.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #94
yes i agree and no he wont say im getting divorced dont phone to his daughter. he will obviusly explain.. i am thinking of myself and why shouldnt i? he is also thinking of himself and if they were happily married and rock solid then this wouldnt be happening would it? i think what we have together is worth the risk on both parts
Zgubiony 15 | 1,554  
26 Jan 2007 /  #95
Wow...this thread is getting looong.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #96
yeah too long.... life is for living and im not gonna live to regret what might have been... i say go with your heart
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
26 Jan 2007 /  #97
If you two are rock solid then don't you think he should at least tell his wife. At least that way she will be free to do as she wishes. She will also be able to make plans for her daughter, who is the innocent party in all of this.

My bet is that he won't tell her.
Zgubiony 15 | 1,554  
26 Jan 2007 /  #98
My bet is that he won't tell her.

Yet :)

when it's too late
Markus  
26 Jan 2007 /  #99
But you aren't ready to marry him, are you? I feel a little sorry for the guy as he might think your relationship is stronger than his marriage but in fact you may just look for a short-term relationship.
Zgubiony 15 | 1,554  
26 Jan 2007 /  #100
At least he's a good shag though.......
Ranj 21 | 948  
26 Jan 2007 /  #101
i say go with your heart

I think you both are thinking with more than just the heart---at least he is:)
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #102
If you two are rock solid then don't you think he should at least tell his wife

i didnt say we are rock solid. i said he and wife arent rock solid.. as i said beforelife is for living and im not gonna live to regret what might have been... i am going with my heart.. and i dont think now is the right time to tell anyone its too soon

But you aren't ready to marry him, are you? I feel a little sorry for the guy as he might think your relationship is stronger than his marriage but in fact you may just look for a short-term relationship

i dont know yet its too soon to tell but yes i like him a lot

At least he's a good shag though.......

someone who actually thinks like me!!!
Markus  
26 Jan 2007 /  #103
i dont know yet its too soon to tell but yes i like him a lot

OK, I understand. But can you tell me how you are going to find out if he is the one you'd like to marry? In order to get to know him well you'd have to spend with him a lot more time and a lot of different situations than you are right now. People don't usually know much about themselves after spending dinners or weekends with each other. You'd have to go be with more real situations with him in order to really get to know him. But since he's married you won't probably get a chance to experience that.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #104
OK, I understand. But can you tell me how you are going to find out if he is the one you'd like to marry? In order to get to know him well you'd have to spend with

yes he is married but lives about five mins away from me and his wife in poland, we see each other about four or five times a week different situations.. we have very different backgrounds and thats what i need to find out before i ask him to seriously leave his wife to be with me
Markus  
26 Jan 2007 /  #105
At least for the sake of your conscience I don't encourage you to "ask him to leave his wife". You may regret it later in life.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #106
At least for the sake of your conscience I don't encourage you to "ask him to leave his wife

i wouldnt do that not yet anyway. he also doesnt trust me fully yet he always says when we talk about it what if i change my mind and then he is alone!!
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
26 Jan 2007 /  #107
i said he and wife arent rock solid..

I understand what you said.

I'll write no more on this subject. But please stay with the forum so we can get your thoughts on other topics. This thread has gone a long way and I'm glad to see there has been no shouting.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #108
write no more on this subject. But please stay with the forum so we can get your thoughts on other topics. This thread has gone a long way and I'm glad to see there

o.k sweet theres no way i am gonna say my thoughts on other forums this was definetly enough!!
Markus  
26 Jan 2007 /  #109
"i said he and wife arent rock solid.."

I don't know any marriage that is 100% rock solid. But the difference between you and his wife is that they were blessed on their marriage day and that is likely to steer them out of divorce.
miranda  
26 Jan 2007 /  #110
well said Ranj:)

and i also think most people on this forum would do exactly the same as me just dont want to admit it

no, speak for youself, you are the one who is sleeping with a married man, not me or many other people. You are looking for justification of what you have done, but deep inside you know it's WRONG.

You seem to feel insecure in that realtionship, that's why you have posted it.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #111
yes ok its wrong but it feels good so i dont care
Markus  
26 Jan 2007 /  #112
You are 29 - is that your first real relationship that "feels good"?
miranda  
26 Jan 2007 /  #113
feels good so i dont care

so finish off the discussion, otherwise I will think that you you a bit more than an attention seeker:)
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #114
i didnt ask what you think! why do you keep on this forunm then is your life that boring darling

You are 29 - is that your first real relationship that "feels good"?

no but why stop if it feels good and none of us want to end it would you stop?
miranda  
26 Jan 2007 /  #115
why do you keep on this forunm

bacause I met some nice people here:) and perhaps according to your standars my life is boring, however I would not have an affair with a married guy(because my life is boring)

Life is boring at times and some people are OK with it, including me:). Than again - it a matter of perception:)
You don't have to get personal here -you are the one who has a problem, not me:)
Zgubiony 15 | 1,554  
26 Jan 2007 /  #116
no but why stop if it feels good and none of us want to end it would you stop?

Yes. I wouldn't want to be a homewrecker. It's not moral.
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #117
i am not the homewrecker he is!
Markus  
26 Jan 2007 /  #118
no but why stop if it feels good and none of us want to end it would you stop?

In such cases the best thing is not to even start. But since you already started... Let me give you a piece of good advice. I once was in love with a girl (she was single I was single too). I knew her for several months but then we had to part and lived 200 miles away from each other. We could only see once a couple of months. During the first 2-4 months I was in a big pain as I couldn't stand it that I couldn't see her more often. But after that I realized she wasn't so special and there were many different and equally great girls right around the corner.

So - as a test - tell him you won't see him sooner than in a month. IF your feelings are still strong, I guess there's nothing we could help you with. But maybe during this month or so you'll realize what you do to him and his family and the "feel-good" feeling will turn to somebody else.
Huegel 1 | 296  
26 Jan 2007 /  #119
hehe

i am not the homewrecker he is!

Next you'll be telling us you're the victim :) How the evil, nasty, dulcet toned, handsome, chisel jawed Polish Casanova came bounding into your life on his white steed, sweeping you off your feet and into your bed, all the while you were whimpering your protestations. "No, no think of your wife and child."

He whispered "Ah hush and fie, you can't fight destiny" and before you knew it, he had fell for you. It was never meant to be, but now he wants you more than anything in this world.

Until he goes home that is. :)

Please spare us :)
OP mobile 1 | 82  
26 Jan 2007 /  #120
Next you'll be telling us you're the victim How the evil, nasty, dulcet toned, handsome, chisel jawed Polish Casanova came

your very funny, only time will tell

So - as a test - tell him you won't see him sooner than in a month. IF your feelings are still strong, I guess there's nothing we could help you with. But maybe during this month or so you'll realize what you do to him and his family and the "feel-good" feeling will turn to somebody else.

o.k i will try that i have stopped for two weeks and still felt the same

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