having an affair with a Polish man (but he has a wife and a child)

mobile,

I have everything I need right here. I might flirt and I might be tempted, but I'm not stupid enough to screw up my marriage.

How do I know ? Because I'm old enough to have seen it in others.

There is more to a relationship than sex. And it's not so easy to face up to a divorce.

well it depends what u want out of life, if i find someone i like and want i will go for it whatever

And that's it. You are thinking of yourself and not his family.

Picture the day he says to his daughter 'I'm getting divorced, don't bother to phone'

Do you really think it is that easy to take a man ?

It will take a lot longer than two months before he risks everything to marry you.

yes i agree and no he wont say im getting divorced dont phone to his daughter. he will obviusly explain.. i am thinking of myself and why shouldnt i? he is also thinking of himself and if they were happily married and rock solid then this wouldnt be happening would it? i think what we have together is worth the risk on both parts

Wow...this thread is getting looong.

yeah too long.... life is for living and im not gonna live to regret what might have been... i say go with your heart

If you two are rock solid then don't you think he should at least tell his wife. At least that way she will be free to do as she wishes. She will also be able to make plans for her daughter, who is the innocent party in all of this.

My bet is that he won't tell her.

Yet :)

when it's too late

But you aren't ready to marry him, are you? I feel a little sorry for the guy as he might think your relationship is stronger than his marriage but in fact you may just look for a short-term relationship.

At least he's a good shag though.......

I think you both are thinking with more than just the heart---at least he is:)

i didnt say we are rock solid. i said he and wife arent rock solid.. as i said beforelife is for living and im not gonna live to regret what might have been... i am going with my heart.. and i dont think now is the right time to tell anyone its too soon


i dont know yet its too soon to tell but yes i like him a lot


someone who actually thinks like me!!!

OK, I understand. But can you tell me how you are going to find out if he is the one you'd like to marry? In order to get to know him well you'd have to spend with him a lot more time and a lot of different situations than you are right now. People don't usually know much about themselves after spending dinners or weekends with each other. You'd have to go be with more real situations with him in order to really get to know him. But since he's married you won't probably get a chance to experience that.

yes he is married but lives about five mins away from me and his wife in poland, we see each other about four or five times a week different situations.. we have very different backgrounds and thats what i need to find out before i ask him to seriously leave his wife to be with me

At least for the sake of your conscience I don't encourage you to "ask him to leave his wife". You may regret it later in life.

i wouldnt do that not yet anyway. he also doesnt trust me fully yet he always says when we talk about it what if i change my mind and then he is alone!!

I understand what you said.

I'll write no more on this subject. But please stay with the forum so we can get your thoughts on other topics. This thread has gone a long way and I'm glad to see there has been no shouting.

o.k sweet theres no way i am gonna say my thoughts on other forums this was definetly enough!!

"i said he and wife arent rock solid.."

I don't know any marriage that is 100% rock solid. But the difference between you and his wife is that they were blessed on their marriage day and that is likely to steer them out of divorce.

well said Ranj:)


no, speak for youself, you are the one who is sleeping with a married man, not me or many other people. You are looking for justification of what you have done, but deep inside you know it's WRONG.

You seem to feel insecure in that realtionship, that's why you have posted it.

yes ok its wrong but it feels good so i dont care

You are 29 - is that your first real relationship that "feels good"?

so finish off the discussion, otherwise I will think that you you a bit more than an attention seeker:)

i didnt ask what you think! why do you keep on this forunm then is your life that boring darling


no but why stop if it feels good and none of us want to end it would you stop?

bacause I met some nice people here:) and perhaps according to your standars my life is boring, however I would not have an affair with a married guy(because my life is boring)

Life is boring at times and some people are OK with it, including me:). Than again - it a matter of perception:)
You don't have to get personal here -you are the one who has a problem, not me:)

Yes. I wouldn't want to be a homewrecker. It's not moral.

i am not the homewrecker he is!

In such cases the best thing is not to even start. But since you already started... Let me give you a piece of good advice. I once was in love with a girl (she was single I was single too). I knew her for several months but then we had to part and lived 200 miles away from each other. We could only see once a couple of months. During the first 2-4 months I was in a big pain as I couldn't stand it that I couldn't see her more often. But after that I realized she wasn't so special and there were many different and equally great girls right around the corner.

So - as a test - tell him you won't see him sooner than in a month. IF your feelings are still strong, I guess there's nothing we could help you with. But maybe during this month or so you'll realize what you do to him and his family and the "feel-good" feeling will turn to somebody else.

hehe


Next you'll be telling us you're the victim :) How the evil, nasty, dulcet toned, handsome, chisel jawed Polish Casanova came bounding into your life on his white steed, sweeping you off your feet and into your bed, all the while you were whimpering your protestations. "No, no think of your wife and child."

He whispered "Ah hush and fie, you can't fight destiny" and before you knew it, he had fell for you. It was never meant to be, but now he wants you more than anything in this world.

Until he goes home that is. :)

Please spare us :)

your very funny, only time will tell


o.k i will try that i have stopped for two weeks and still felt the same