Pi*ss - 2, crap - 3. Shower - 6. Call it the 236 rule
I'm with you on the 2 minute pi$$, factoring in hand washing 2 minutes is plenty.
However, I have issues with a 3 minute crap and 6 minute shower.
While a 3 minute crap is commendably efficient, it's too mechanical-sort of inhuman. Takes away the, uh, what's the word...ambiance. Yes, ambiance. A good human crap should have a certain ambiance. This shouldn't be rushed.
It's not simply some mechanical function like some task in a machine shop-grab a piece of metal, drill a hole in it, drop it in hopper and done! No, no, it's much more meditative and experiential. There's even some symbolism in it. Granted, there's some unpleasantries attached to it, but what worthwhile thing in life doesn't have it's hardships?
A 6 minute shower is downright barbaric. Even worse, actually, it's more like serving a life sentence in a Gestapo-ran jail while under constant KGB surveillance while having your balls busted by a basic training drill sergeant. You can barely collect your thoughts in 6 minutes, let alone clean your filth and properly dry your fellas. Nah, you gotta double up that time just to meet the minimum time needed.
However, this is all mitigated when on holiday using a shared facility. In that case, a minute to whizbang, 2 to drop a load (every other day), and clean your dirty a$$ either in the river, lake, or some park fountain.