Same how Muslims speak about Islam.
They speak nonsense then. Islam is divided into different branches: you have Sunni Islam which is divided into different subgroups/judicial schools (Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi'i, Hanbali), so you can get one ruling from one imam and a different one from another on the same issue - there is no "Islamic Pope" to make rules for everybody. Then of course you have Shia (further divided into Twelvers, Ismaili, Zaydi); you have Ibadi, Sufi, Ahmadiyya, Quranis etc.
They have nothing resembling the unity of the Holy Roman Catholic Church -
1.4 billion baptized Catholics gathered under one Pope. Nothing even remotely comparable to it.
Patriarchate of Constantinople also speak like this.
Those schizmatics and heretics should bow their heads down in shame and go back to Rome. God is good--He will forgive them.
With traces of ancestry.
Do you think Catholic Church in Poland doesn't include various ancestral folk traditions? That it is not specifically Polish in many of its internal characteristics? Of course it does and it is. But it remains a part of the only Church that can stand up to any power in the world. Orthodox churches are their respective governments' lapdogs, and protestant ones are either totally secularized and worldly or tiny, marginal and ignored.
No way around it, brate. If you are on God's side, you are Roman Catholic. You are not getting any younger, Crow. Time to stop fooling around - come to Rome, do not be ashamed when you stand before Our Lord Jesus Christ.