12 years of marriage my Polish wife still doubts me

zahi, you have to remember that this is not the only thing that makes a marriage happy

she might need a romantic vacation with full body massage and someone waiting on
her and pedicure and manicure and you feeding her grapes :))) LOL

I am sure she would be cured.

You know, it's not just about sex. There are other needs beyond that.


... or someone to unload the damn dishwasher without being reminded 10 times ...

Simple, show your love & care on everyday basis. Especially :

-help her with the housework
-help with parenting
- hug her often,
- kiss her everyday
-don't talk back! :) just listen
-say she's beautiful without being asked;
-try to surprise her from time to time (bring flowers, invite her to dinner/or cinema/or to dance/choose something nice)
-show that you really care , be attentive
-tell her you love her and mean it!

Remember - every woman, not only Polish, is like a flower in constant need of watering and care !!!

Just talk with an open mind, share your concerns.


Yeah, it is a very good information Patty :D ... I think its good for any man to know :).

See zahi, you got good tips from here.

By the way, the fact that you are trying after all these years, definitely shows that you genuinely love her :). You will have your problems cured soon, just don't give up ;).


What about the man? He should not have any need?

Sometimes you can squeeze the life out of an idea until its suffocated...

You know the best remedy for you both...?
Laughter.

Is it possible that you can, as a couple, go out and do something a little out of the ordinary? Where you both leave your comfort zone and say at the end of it... ''that was really awesome!''

Family life can bring you both a little under the weather and it's no-one's fault that you end up turning on each other. She may just need not to be so intensely focused on the relationship?

Cause it seems you have all the symptoms of a lot of boredom and frustration? And that can make you each feel unattractive, helpless, like a failure, whatever! Try to change the picture a bit instead of changing the people in the picture. Try to explore your (and her) wilder sides a little?


And some are like weeds that grow just fine without. :)

Expectation can lead to suffering... take care of yourself first. ;)

yes thinking maldives also can take trip my country in the way


doing


explain


we do.
Not like so miserable all time.


as? say


i know her simple pretty warm polish friend > girlfrnd > wife. WILD SIDE? :s
Plz be clear say all, i can read have time in break

Well the idea that you can repeat doing something the same way and get different results. Try a new method. :)


Ok, so you make love and you laugh... what's the problem again???


A balloon flight... a speedy jet boat ride down a canyon??
Lose your breath? Exhilarate your senses??


Listen buddy.. why don't you just keep buying her flowers, f*cking her and making her laugh...? That way she'll keep whinging at you??? :S


Maybe her doubting is good...? It's her way of thinking that she still has to earn your love, and also her way of making believe that you are a good conquest???

yes


DOUBTSSSSSSSSSSS aah
few week later on a thing she can doubt be angry and for tired husband the thing get tense as year pass by.
CONTROL. I need to listen she cannot be wrong ever ever ever. Usually dont take long for smile but the hours try to console is difficult.

If a wife ask the husband of weigh the husband praise and she exclaims 'you just lie to me', later husband try look deep and find problem then she get angry and dont talk??? where to husband go?


little things i know. Was ok but since her sister got cheating husband she turn too nervous.
I love her. my culture just not of the listening habit the woman dont say so much in east but still liberated now. all was ok but last 2 year she is nervous. she love the younger sister, the girl now live depressed. How i take care of whole family if start effectin mine???????? i sympathise but i need good nerve in my home.


now thinking that it must be younger sister effect, complicatd my wife.


heh, donot know but she is my sweet will be too

VACATION 100%. she remain busy with her mom sister frnd also get divorce 6th year reckless life they get

problem No 1. She thinks that you might do the same - not very reasonable, but possible, ask her.


problem No 2- listen to her.

go found another one

crazy


i know but gets tense touchy. She love the younger sister much frm begining but now need this talk. yes. the moment to talk on it need to be found


i know i know but like to say smtime too, but listen and rephrase my task always if it keep her smiling


no. stupid

as you wish

loved ever?
yes my wish

I have already written about this.Muslims(pakis Arabs) are overcontrolling and nature of slavic women is free.

I bet she's feeling really neglected, her husband is spending his spare time talking to strangers on the net instead of talking to her.

neither cuntry but close heh


2 yr relation 12 yr marriage never neglected.
Financial spreadsheet excel job is what i brought home as to spend more time. talking to get idea, VACATION IS GOOD, talking abt the sister not bad as it effects. very true

Will leave demandin job later and live on sum investment i have, got own home n saving enough also a small biz
I like to spend time wth growin children.
she is happy now but the few week later she get smthing n i am put on test. u know stress in it?


crazy u are, heh overcontrolling husband hahah.
make me laugh i may die


children enjoy catholic islam buddhist spiritual all news. god live in heart frnd. children r cultured values respect is tht matter

Probably Indian.Of course non-Europeans are overcontrolling.The best is to let slavic women free and not keep in cage domesticated.

Yeah, this is no bullsh/t. What a train wreck waiting to happen when these two groups marry.

keep lukin



stupid

Uhh no, don't do any this crap..

do


sure


pleasure heh


pleasure


hmmmm , i know i know, do


will do more , 12 yr after still required to say? but yes u have the right, love her she is beautiful


smtime yes, but now a drive to be done i see


tricky, attention smtime is tricky on issue but right, DOING


sweet :) do

she did smth now which make thngs more sweet.
thanks for tips.
VACATION
DISCUSS SISTER
MORE LOVE EXPRESSION, good, pleasure
GIFT

smtimes wth children we get not moving. But children can stay few month with the grandmother.
Restart romance after 14 yrs, heh.
finished the exceldoc.
Starting new project wth the start sweet gave me today now =).
Thnks frnds


stupid

Wish you good luck.

But don't only exist to please your wife. Be kind and understanding (which it seems you are), love her and do what asik said. Still when you talk to her, make her know your concerns. Tell her how you love her, but also how you feel. Tell her about the wasted time in pleading (not straight "wasted" but in a better, more indirect but intelligent manner), a time which could be better spend perhaps in light romance :).

After 12 years your relationship is not doing bad, even with the pressure you poor man is going through. Maybe your sister in law's issues are working on your wife's mind, making her restless. As you say she really loves her sister.

Polish women are sometimes very attached to their mothers, fathers or sisters/brothers. However, being too shaken on sibling issues is going to make life difficult, as everyone at the end of the day needs to handle their own issues.

Go on a vacation, it is a perfect idea given by one of our best members :), Patty!

Good luck and enjoy raising your children. You seem to be a flexible man, and they are going to grow up as proud Poles. Good family :).

just make sure that you have time to yourselfs.

its nice to be around family, but sometimes when its just the two of you its
serene, because you can finally relax and when your around family, they want all your time.

so make sure its a trip for Zahi and wife alone. ;)

PS.. Not that family isnt nice to visit, but this trip is about you and her, when your around family
on either side, it tends to put a little more pressure on you both , as it does with many when visiting.
The Less Pressure and stress, both of you will feel more comfortable. :)

You are obviously from an arabic country, treat her like a princess instead of an object and all will be ok.

I guess she's pretty stubborn then? Married for twelve years huh? (Lucky you!)


Great minds really *do* think alike.

;)

Just one question: is your wife a housewife? If so, she might be feeling very dependent on you, and scared to death of loosing you, since it would mean loosing the financial means of survival. Staying at home with kids is a noble thing to do, but it almost never helps the woman to feel sexy or confident. Maybe a part time job would help? It could give an area are where she would not be defined as your wife and the mother of your children.

A man that does not respect the job of a mother/house wife has no knowledge of family values.

It's not about the man. It's about her. They met in college, so she is most likely well educated. But maybe never had the opportunity to prove herself in any other area than the family. Maybe she just needs different challenges.

I have a few friends who are stay-at-home mothers and I stayed at home for a while with my first born. Always the same story: you have the feeling that the world passes you by. And even though it's a great thing for the children, you don't fell that it's make you interesting, or sexy, or cool in the eyes of other people.

The people who find you cool are your husband (at least he should) and your kids. And maybe it's not enough for some women. And what if you loose your husband? Who are you without him?

to do


yes heh, true


not in maldive, they live in my country which is no maldive, but yes maybe on return stop for one day.
Vacation for month or more, i can go to my country or no depend on her mood. this one for her


NOT ARAB NOT PAK NOT TURK! why this question came again? east not confined with this. more country in south asia just look.
not princess, queen since i met , heh, love her to bits


hmm yes


same like me


same, bt now after all the stage wth life thinking is stupid


heheh , fr me she is same whn i met


i have gud financial capacity, why work extra out? no need fr it. i did already all so she cannot be in problem latr too. I am careful.

Never i stop anyone but she now wht i prefer, her choice i never stop.
MONEY i never let be a problem, when it was less she still no problem. i work like mad for her, now can leave demandin job and still live gud.

All money hers all the life hers , simple.


i bow to it


yes


why?????????
home is not simple, purchase, maintain, children i share responsibility but she is mom.
she never complain, i never let a reason come. careful of it since i kissed first time , heh, she can be careless on finance problem is my headache.


again, she is all. i love and she is IMPORTANT.
i listen to her all, she is all fr me. smtime man get little sad-tired but not that mean i don luv.
she help in my business i bring cloth from my country to poland, not bad less hassle nice money. will keep it but let go of stupid job, whch supportd big once though.

I USE TOUCH SCREN SMTM SO FORGIVE SP MISTAKEs. can annoy i know.

dude, if you're as much hard work in real life as on this forum then maybe you're beyond help.