What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do?

i already think that men in this Country use to be a good cookers , that is from my point of view only :)

Men cannot be cookers as a cooker is a machine, Milo. Cook is correct.

Pawian, I prefer al dente too but my wife is like yours

she tries to tell me what i'm going to do every day and then gets enraged and claims i think i'm a king when I tell her to ask and not tell.

she seriously doesn't think it unacceptable to come and say "i've changed my mind, i don't want to cook this or that, you're going to cook this or that."

Bored wife is bored.

She blatantly lies and then tells me that I am the one that is lying. Total provocation.

I say 'honey, I'm hungry, going to order food. Are you hungry, would you like me to order you something too?'

She says 'no thanks darling, I'm not hungry'

I say 'you know you say this every time I ask and when my food comes you eat it all'

She says 'no darling I am really not hungry. I promise not to eat your food'

So I order my food

She eats it

Every time

So I'm filing for divorce

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach

And she doesn't even do the washing up

it's the wonderful flavours/aromas floating through the air that does it. next time just make a cheese sarnie

why not just order her something no matter what she says since you know what's going to happen?

That's the day she won't be hungry. Then she'll say you're an idiot for ordering too much food. Trust me. I know.

mine cannot see an empty plane surface without stacking it with objects...

You know what guys, I tried that already

Freshly cut Polish bread, cheese, tomatoes, pickles, gherkins, a little mayo, a swipe of mustard

Get up to fetch my beer, come back and it's gone

Order an extra pizza, just for her

She says 'darling, you'll get fat if you eat both those pizzas'

I say 'sweetheart, I ordered an extra one just for you'

She says 'but darling, I told you I wasn't hungry'

And guess who does the washing up

Reminds me of this pearl....

My wife keeps every receipt, scrap of paper, coupon, pay-stub etc in her purse until she can't find what she is looking for. Then it comes out of the purse and finds it's way into a small (but overflowing) basket on the kitchen counter. When the bits of paper are falling out of the basket, they migrate en-masse (picture a sweeping overhead shot of the plains of Africa) to a different basket in the corner of the living room, all congregating like wildebeests at a shrinking pool of water. Once a year when she really needs to find a document (tax time for example) she will get all upset at me because she can't find what she is looking for. She then spends a day throwing out what she really didn't need in the first place. It is like the culling of a herd. Those that survive make their way back to the kitchen, only to start the breeding process all over again until next year. David Attenborough should make a documentary about this one.....

I have a better idea. Why don`t you order a meal with stuff that Polish people normally don`t eat, e.g., haggis, octopus, snails, raw oysters, calf brain, pig ears etc.

mine loves snails and calamari...

WHat about liver or kidney?

how did you know??

Speak Polish.

All. The. Time.

I know Polish wives.

that's something that'd get sorted out with a quickness.

Mine has a peculiar problem/habit with her voice, she has two volumes: inaudible and an "outside" voice. I don't know when she regressed into this but I constantly either have no idea what she's saying or have to restrain myself from shaking the sh*t out of her and shouting "USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!"

Is she a teacher?

She flies through all the food and drink in the fridge whether hungry/thirsty or not. Waaaaaay too quickly just so I end up with nothing. Any way to strip my money down to zero and then moan that I have nothing. I can see it moving towards that.

I hear Just Ain't Right very well. They'll scoff away at what you have without even a thank you. Gratitude, the biggest single quality that many Poles lack, IMHO.

no

Are you really surprised? During the 1950s, while most developed countries were using toilet paper, Poles were still using newspapers and sometimes even leaves.

Fcuk that noise and take control of the food source my man!
My suggested remedy is purchase only that which can be enjoyably consumed if prepared in a meal e.g. onions, garlic, peppers, ginger root etc. Then get your hands on some quick recipes and prep it quickly and eat it just as quickly.

Top advice, For4 :) Thanks! No more snaffling.

do I sense a growing sense of disillusionment, Seanus?

Not really, bullfrog. It's more about me being far less comfortable with having my money run down. I need a much bigger nest egg than she does and even after 7 years here, I haven't been made privy to the Polish secret ;)

Welcome to the world of being married man! Enjoy! Thank god I never went through with it ;)

I don't think it's connected to marriage, Davie, more to character.

Well you cant connect that to Polish women only. When it sinks in with her that she is married and has you for life, just watch the pounds pile on ;)

Be glad u didnt go for a joint account ;)