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What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do?


db1874 7 | 227
3 Oct 2011  #91
was it just me or do other Polish girls/wives demand to know exactly how many females you'd slept with before meeting her? And then go ballistic if the answer was too high.....
Moose Limb
3 Oct 2011  #92
my wife tried to hoover when the football was on

Hoover what?
Wroclaw 44 | 5,388
3 Oct 2011  #93
don't worry about it. it was a joke.
Moose Limb
3 Oct 2011  #94
so was mine:) but when you get that joke dont wake up in middle of the night suspending me:)
OP pawian 161 | 9,907
22 May 2012  #95
I prefer to have sex in the morning, while she in the evening.

We share, so there is no problem.

But I wonder about the statistics. Which time is more preferrable: morning or evening. Or night?
natasia 3 | 368
22 May 2012  #96
Hoover what?

some poor defenceless child's nose out ...
jasondmzk
23 May 2012  #97
My wife won't let her purse touch the ground. She won't kiss in a doorway. If you run back inside the house because you forgot something, you have to sit and count to 3 before leaving again.
allain - | 2
23 May 2012  #98
very nice forum btw, me and my gf read all of the replies, lol

Which time is more preferrable: morning or evening. Or night?

it depends on when your Dong is ready , :)
beckski 12 | 1,617
23 May 2012  #99
Which time is more preferrable: morning or evening. Or night?

My preferable choice would have to be during lateevening.
sa11y 5 | 331
23 May 2012  #100
won't let her purse touch the ground

I do the same :) otherwise money escapes from the purse ;-P

My former wife always wanted to sample my beer.

Just like my 3-year-old :) (not necessarily with beer...)
natasia 3 | 368
23 May 2012  #101
Which time is more preferrable: morning or evening. Or night?

Morning.
Middle of the night (ie when asleep already then waking up 3/4am or so).
Lunchtime.
Afternoon.
Early evening.
Bedtime is almost the worst, for someone who is a morning person like me.

This question, though, can't surely be pretending to be about Polishness? ; ) Or ... do Polish wives have special designated times, and other times that are not acceptable? Possibly, very possibly.
OP pawian 161 | 9,907
23 May 2012  #102
You are unsatiable. :):):):)
Most Polish wives aren`t like that.

do Polish wives have special designated times, and other times that are not acceptable?

Yes, in my opinion they have. Polish wives are conservative and they prefer morning or evening, because during the day they are busy with work, children, cooking, housework etc.
rybnik 18 | 1,462
23 May 2012  #103
Polish wives are conservative

My ex certainly was. She only would have sex with the lights out - no candles, nada.
Great thread btw!
beckski 12 | 1,617
23 May 2012  #104
funny things do your Polish wives do?

Some Polish wives have a tendency of answering a question with another question.

For example: Husband asks, "Have you see my Keys?" Wife replies, "Where did you leave them?"
Jimmu 2 | 157
24 May 2012  #105
Nothing particularly Polish about that one. The husband asking nor the wife's answer. :->
boletus 30 | 1,366
24 May 2012  #106
Wife:
- Don't say "fvck" in front of the B-A-B-Y!
OP pawian 161 | 9,907
24 May 2012  #107
And the baby is the 32 year old hairdresser called Rysio.
rybnik 18 | 1,462
25 May 2012  #108
Wife:- Don't say "fvck" in front of the B-A-B-Y!

Mine too! lol
boletus 30 | 1,366
25 May 2012  #109
B-A-B-Y = bee-ay-bee-why
This is actually an ancient "blonde joke" based on spelling a wrong word in a sentence.

This is what a real, overly protective, mum would say: - Don't say F-U-C-K in front of the baby!
And this is what a "blonde" said: - Don't say "fvck" in front of the B-A-B-Y!
rybnik 18 | 1,462
25 May 2012  #110
And this is what a "blonde" said: - Don't say "fvck" in front of the B-A-B-Y!

LOL
natasia 3 | 368
27 May 2012  #111
You are unsatiable. :):):):)

Well, thank you for the compliment, but actually I was just listing times in order of preference ... not meaning to say those times were my cumulative preference ; )

But yes, reading between the lines, or rather intercepting all the Polish glances around me, I too get the impression that most Polish wives have as strict rules concerning conjugal relations as they do with wearing slippers, etc. - oh, and sex is definitely one of their tools for controlling their guy, so if he puts a foot wrong, that is the first 'privilege' to be withdrawn.

Jeez. I just can't act like that. I mean, are all Polish men puppy dogs, and all the women Barbara Woodhouse? (look it up - an old grandma famous for her dog-training methods ... ; )
OP pawian 161 | 9,907
17 Jun 2012  #112
Husbands of your Polish wives, have you ever used sex as a weapon?

I once tried. I resisted for nearly a month and turned down all approaches. But I gave up when she put on a mini dress.

S*h*i*t*! I was so weak! You have the right to condemn me.
p3undone 8 | 1,135
26 Jun 2012  #113
Pawian,lol,I just read this whole thread Pawian;hilarious,Great thread!
Wroclaw Boy
26 Jun 2012  #114
Well, she always lets the toilet paper run down to zero. That's sth I monitor closely

Humm strange, i also manage the toilet paper in our house.
OP pawian 161 | 9,907
27 Jun 2012  #115
Pawian,lol,I just read this whole thread Pawian;hilarious,Great thread!

Thanks, but I only started it and other guys contributed.

One of the things that amuses me is the way they will take something from the fridge , smell it , and then pass it to anyone else nearby for them to smell also.

I saw it today at last. My wife took out a piece of Polish sausage, smelled it and next put it back. I laughed and enquired. It turned out she smelled it not to check the freshness but to decide what she wants to eat - simply speaking, she chooses products whose smell satisfies her chemosensors` requirements at the moment.

Very funny.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemoreceptor

PS. My wife has a much better sense of smell than me (she claims all females have that, so I laugh they are like dogs).

PS. I don`t smell things. I look at them to check them out. I believe it is typical male`s procedure.
p3undone 8 | 1,135
27 Jun 2012  #116
Pawian,of course,thanks everyone!
boletus 30 | 1,366
27 Jun 2012  #117
PS. I don`t smell things. I look at them to check them out. I believe it is typical male`s procedure.

So I must be an exception. I always smell tomatoes first, hoping to come across of nice succulent ones from "your mama's garden". If they pass the "tomato leaves" smell test (the "vine tomatoes" usually do by definition), then I assess their pulp either visually or by touch. Sadly, during winter months, this works only 50% a time and I often end up with the "armoured" ones: with a big chunk of hard white stuff inside and no pulp at all. [In summer the statistics is a bit better, as some stores keep offering local produce.]

In such occasions the standard phrase from a chemistry lab comes to mind: "Bez smaku, bez zapachu, słabo rozpuszcza się w wodzie" (Tasteless, odorless, slightly soluble in water). Strawberries is #2 on my "smelling list". But that's it. I often watch with fascination people from South Europe and Middle East selecting their melons and watermelons using the "knock, knock" method.
OP pawian 161 | 9,907
27 Jun 2012  #118
Funny! :):):)

OK, I do, too. But the only food I smell is pineapple and melon. If you smell sweet fragrance at the bottom end, you know if it is ripe.

I often watch with fascination people from South Europe and Middle East selecting their melons and watermelons using the "knock, knock" method.

That`s a worthless method. :):):):)

With spring approaching and fresh melons coming into season it is helpful to know how to pick out a good, ripe melon. There are a lot of old wife's tales about how to pick a good melon. The most common is to knock on a watermelon and pick it based on the sound of the thunk it makes. However, knocking on melons like this only bruises them and is not a good way to choose a ripe one. Here is a breakdown of the most common melon types you will find in your local grocery store and how to pick a ripe one.

voices.yahoo/how-pick-ripe-melon-2781392.html
Avalon 4 | 1,068
28 Jun 2012  #119
Funny! :):):)

I will tell you something funny. You mocked me once when I complained about the stupid things that the authorities do here.
My partner went to get our "health cards" so that we can go on holiday next week. The helpful lady in the office, said that she needs to get permission of her ex-husband who she divorced 7 years ago.

Even though we obtained these cards last year with no problem, apparently, the rules have changed. Her ex-husband has signed a declaration that she is part of his family and is a non-earner, despite the fact that she has been a state teacher for the past 20 years.

She now has to spend half a day going to the factory where he works to get a letter to say that she is nothing to do with him. You think that this would happen in a normal country?. You want to re-new your driving licence and they tell you that you have to take another test? When you need to re-new you passport you have to prove your citizenship?

F-kin ridiculous. The only problems I ever have here is when we have to deal with the authorities.

Yes I am angry and I am not blaming you. Just wish that Poland could get it together and stop these things happening.
OP pawian 161 | 9,907
28 Jun 2012  #120
F-kin ridiculous. The only problems I ever have here is when we have to deal with the authorities.

OK, I admit, although I have never had any silly problems with red tape (if I had, it was still within the law and I didn`t mind), there are people who had and they have the right to complain. Red tape in Poland can be annoying.

Yes I am angry and I am not blaming you. Just wish that Poland could get it together and stop these things happening.

Avalon, I am really sorry for your Polish sores. Please, forgive us. It just has to take a little time to educate people and make them more independently thinking. We are still making up for the losses of WW2 and communism.


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