There's this new man at work who has been telling people around him that he wants to separate from his girlfriend because she is so possessive(according to him). He isn't bad looking really; in fact one or two women have had some interest in him. I noticed that a few weeks ago he was starting to be flirty, occasionally giving a wink or two, giving that mischievous smile or that romantic stare, even at one point asking for my phone number(which I didn't give, of course). Even one of our colleagues has noticed that he seems interested in me. Now I maybe single and not dating someone at the moment but the mere idea of someone trying to hit on me while he is with someone else-I find it annoying, irritating and disgusting. I think that men should first try to sort out their relationship differences with their partners(whether they break up with them or not) before being on the look out for other women(don't you think?). I mean...if he can do this to his present partner, what more to his other future conquests?
My questions are these :
1. Do a lot of Polish men like to flirt while they're in a relationship with someone else? 2. Do Polish men tend to cheat on their partners? 3. How would you know if they genuinely like a girl or they're just playing around?
He would've been alright if not for the fact that he's younger than me(too young, I think) and has a girlfriend(and nope, I do not want to ruin any relationships). Plus, he has been incurring the ire of a few of the colleagues because of his work behavior(read: he hasn't been hard working lately).
Cheating seems to be a bit less unacceptable in PL than it is in the UK. Flirting is normal; not unusual for married people to do it. The third question is anybody's guess however Polish men (hard to generalise and as Ironside says, not everyone is the same) have quite fragile egos and for many, how things look is as important as how things are.
As for the man at work, keeping sex and work separate is always a good idea (unless sex is one's profession).
Well, he's not bad looking(he's tall, has a nice bod, and intelligent enough) but I'm not after him for a shag(especially as he's a colleague). And yes, keeping sex and work is a good idea. Attention from a younger man is flattering, but not when he's with someone else.
Re your answers to 1 and 2, I am now inclined to believe what a male friend once said, "Men are monogamous in marriage/partnerships, but polygamous in nature."
In my experience and in answer to your questions... 1. Yes 2.Yes 3. You don't
Long story short...I got involved with a local polish guy (I also have a thing for polish guys) after he pursued me for a few months... He said he was seperated from his wife in Poland and that he was working in the UK to send money to his teenage daughter back home for her School fees. He was handsome and also did the cheeky wink thing alot. He would leave me flowers and post little notes through my door etc. He made me feel special and at that time in my life it was nice to get the attention. Things moved fast and after a while he was staying at my house every day... We fell in love and I was very happy.... He told me everyday that he loved me and we were together for a year and he often spoke about finalising things (Divorce) with his estranged wife back home. Last year I found out I was pregnant.... things changed between us straight away... basically he decided to confess that the year between us was a complete lie... he wasn't seperated, he spoke to his wife every day and when he went home to visit his daughter he slept with his wife (as you would). He then told me that he didn't love me never has and that he wants nothing to do with the baby and that I'm not the first person he has been with since being in the UK. So in my opinion be careful who you trust but as Ironside said 'Polish men like any other men. Some are good and some are bad. There is not manual for all men Polish or otherwise.'
So yes I was lied to and have learnt a big lesson in life but I have a beautiful half polish 5 month old daughter to show for it so its not all bad. Good Luck x
Thank you for sharing your story. Your story is sad but at least you have a lovely 5 month old daughter so yes, it's not all that bad or tragic. As I mentioned before, the attention is flattering(as he is younger than me) but I do not want to get involved with him, anyway, esp. as he is a colleague and is involved with someone else. I was just curious about his behavior.(and no, I don't have a thing for Polish guys. I've met only a few, including this one). I like him but not like him enough to fall for him. I don't know whether he has a wife back home but he definitely has a girlfriend here(and he keeps announcing he plans to separate from her-why he does that, I don't know).
I would assume now that they are like any other men from other cultures. Some have the roving eye, some don't. I guess women have to use their instincts first, and not just listen to their hearts when it comes to men.
now do all man do that and all women as well ? yes , yes and yes.
Nope, I disagree, not ALL. Many men and women would probably flirt and like someone else(and that applies to Polish and non Polish) but cheating? Ah, not all would tend to do that.(though it would be presumed that flirting is already a subtle form of cheating). There are still such things as loyalty and faithfulness(though they're hard to come by these days).
Oh. I didn't know that. If I may ask...is that based on experience? I know only a few Polish women(but not know them enough to determine whether they are cheaters or not).
I think that there is definitely different values here. I used to teach a lot of men at one company, it was a very male dominated industry. I was there for 5 years. In that time I was propositioned by two married men, neither even hid the fact that they were married. As well, they would tell me that escorts were hired for their corporate social functions because there weren't that many women who would be attending. These women were hired as "hostesses" but really their function was to dance, flirt, and if they wanted to make some extra cash they could go back to the hotel room with the men. From the stories that I heard after the parties, there were married men who were partaking. When I asked about this most men seemed to think that it was okay and normal, just a little bit of harmless fun.
This kind of thing happens the world over I'm sure, what shocked me really was how indiscreet the men were about it, there seemed to be no secrecy or shame. From which I drew the conclusion that perhaps there is a different code in Poland for what is acceptable when one is in a relationship.
I must say though that there were other men who were great, treated me with a lot of respect, didn't flirt or try to make me feel as though I were just a woman, as some had. So I guess the other posters are correct, men are men, some are good, some are bad.
Interesting post,people put more input on polish men,it will give a wider idea how they are
Curiosity got the better of me. Why would a Polish chap, after being with the same person for several years, suddenly say to people around him that he was planning to leave her because she was so possessive and clingy? (and obviously it will bring about another topic-are Polish girls possessive and clingy?) Is it a form of self preservation or self-advertisement? So that when he finally decides to leave her women will form a queue? Interestingly enough, a few have found him "hot".
Of course I will agree with Ironside that some men are good, some are bad. But then I initially thought that Polish men would tend to be more old fashioned and traditional when it comes to relationships (the country being a predominantly Catholic one).
And another burning question which brings to mind as well-Do a lot of them like to have relationships with women older than them?
People who've lived in Poland in the last couple of decades will remember that she's right.
So what are you saying Harry that there is a different code as to cheating in Poland to that in Anglophones countries? As implied by her there is more lax attitude to cheating on one's partner she is not right. I would say that the opposite is true. Wait, have your partner told you that? Do not believe her.
I have a story about a Polish man but I want to say that every person is different and it's not about the culture. But since you asked, I will tell you this story so grab a hot chocolate and read it.
Once upon a time, my classmate, Molly, and I went to Fabric, a club in London near Elephant and Castle. We took the tube from King's Cross to Elephant and Castle. Molly was wearing some high heels and makeup. I do not remember what I was wearing.
Molly and I were standing near the bar. All of a sudden, I saw a good-looking person standing there. Therefore, Molly and I approached him. "Hello," I said. We talked to each other. Then I told him that he was good-looking. Then we sat next to each other. It turned out that the guy's name was Tomasz Maternik. Molly and I met another guy there too and we became friends with him, and his name was Brian. He was a happy and friendly person.
Tomasz and I held hands and kissed. Then Molly and I rode the bus back home rather than the tube because it was getting late and the tube doesn't always run very late, you see.
After that, Tomasz and I texted and e-mailed each other. He wrote me flirtatious things in the e-mails, such as he asked me if I wanted to go to Paris, where he was on a business trip. However, later on Tomasz mentioned that he had a girlfriend. Therefore, I didn't talk to him any more.
Later on, I was at a club named Tiger Tiger in Piccadilly Circus with some girlfriends of mine. I saw a handsome guy there named Klodian Bukaci. We exchanged phone numbers and went to Regent's Park, where we walked around. We also had some biscuits and orange juice at a cafe. I thought that Klodian was going to be my boyfriend; however, he just wanted to get into my pants. That upset me, so I took Tomasz's offer to go to Paris.
When I got to Paris, I phoned Tomasz and said that I was there. We ate some food. When he was working, I went to the Bois de Boulogne and a museum across from the hotel, l'Etoile Meridien. We went to a club named Rex and walked back to the hotel. We saw l'Arc de Triomphe. I borrowed Tomasz's cell phone and took his girlfriend's number out of there and I got her Skype while he was at the gym because I felt that she should know that Tomasz was being inappropriate. I had a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing and had made a bad judgment call when I was upset about Klodian Bukaci.
Later on I told Agata (Tomasz's partner) about it via e-mail and she viewed the e-mails which Tomasz had sent me, but they were still together.
Another time, I slept with a Polish man named Piotr because he was handsome, and later I heard that he had a wife and children, but I'm not sure if it is true, because I do not understand why he would not be living with them if he had a family.
Anyways, that's my story, but Single Female honey, not every man will be the same in a culture, but that's my story since you asked me. I have another experience with an American man as well who was married, so it can happen in any culture. Also, my friend's father cheated on her mum, and he is a Chinese. My advice is you are right, it is inappropriate for him to flirt with others when he is still with his girlfriend, so you should try not to date him, my sweetheart. My dog and I wish you a nice day and we love you very much <3
Those women that are happy with Polish men have no time nor need to post about them on PF. My wife think that this site is a waste of time and I should stay away from it. :)
Saying that I must say that "your" Polish man seems to be a player.
Culture all-round is different but biological causation is more or less the same. You love your partner and there is much more than one reason you don't want to cheat her/him even though it doesn't mean you don't thing about it.
Ironside. "Those women that are happy with Polish men have no time nor need to post about them on PF. My wife think that this site is a waste of time and I should stay away from it. :)"
That is strange logic. Does it go both ways and we are to assume that you are not happily married because you have so much time to be here? Strangely I am happy with my Polish man and yet I somehow managed to unchain myself from the kitchen long enough to post here. But my bigos is burning and I've gotta run.
I'm sorry I don't know what classing overkill means but I do not have a chip on my shoulder. You made a strange remark about how women who are happy with their Polish men wouldn't have time or need to be on the forum. I thought that was a rather ignorant statement and wanted to call your attention to it. I did so in a sarcastic manner to emphasize your seemingly backward statement. A woman can have an opinion without "having a chip on their shoulder.
