I was 19 when I got married and it only lasted for 3 years, we realised after a while that we were just to damn young to make such a commitment to each other, but hey you live and learn... I am now 28 have been with my girlfriend who is 20 for 7 months and she is already on about marriage but to be honest I would rather wait for a couple of years to make sure things will work, not that I dont think they will but its better to not rush....
LATINA
When my parents got married my father was 21 and my mother was 19 and they are still together 33 years on and very happy so it can work..
My sisiter got married at 29 and her husband was 30..
Wow big age difference in marriage for all your family. Your parents are still happy because that is another generation. Marriages don't work very well nowadays for a # of reasons. People don't respect marriage vows too much anymore.
I think it's worlwide. I know it has changed in South America too. My parents were married at 16 and 23 respectively and never divorced. My mother was truly a 1 man woman. How many women can say that nowadays. Is Poland still traditional? Do marriages still last in Poland?
There's definitely widespread lack of respect for marriage vows in the U.S.,
Do you mean in people getting married and thinking if it doesn't work they will just throw it away?
I grew up in Texas and in the small minded part of the world I was in you were pressured to get married before 25 otherwise you must be a loser. I have learned immensely from my demised marriages (2 of them I'm sad to say it took me to be clear about myself) - but I'll say that in neither case did I take my vows lightly but the bottom line was that I had not done the necessary work on myself to be rooted in my own happiness before committing to someone. I would not say that people that I've known to marry and divorce in America were nonchalant about their commitments but they are often conforming with social expectations and graces rather than boldly proclaiming (or even exploring perhaps) what happiness and true depth really meant.
As in previous threads where you and I have exchanged, I see that "not taking marriage seriously" condition as being a fallout of the fading lines between the man and woman in roles in a marriage.
Do you mean in people getting married and thinking if it doesn't work they will just throw it away?
Pretty much there's no way I can answer this question without sounding completely inexperienced and not "qualified" to contribute. :) I've never been married, but I've grown up around a lot of people who had successful marriages because they married under the impression that divorce was only an option under extraordinary circumstances such as adultery, abuse, etc. This caused them to be very careful in selecting their partner and to wait until they were mature enough and felt ready to make a lifetime commitment.
When you go into it knowing that you've got to make it work no matter what, you're a lot more motivated to make a careful choice all around. I'm not saying that means that most Americans are nonchalant towards marriage, I just don't think they take it as seriously as they could.
All the couples I know have had serious problems within their marriage, but I know very few who have divorced, and I think that's because they strongly believed marriage was for life.
That's not to say that you didn't take it seriously or didn't exercise careful consideration, etc. in your experiences, moonmustang. Everyone makes mistakes, and has to make the best decision for themselves according to their situation...I was just giving a different perspective :) old fashioned as it might seem...
I’ve never been married, and I have to admit, the thought of getting married scares me. When I do walk up the aisle, I want it to be the first and last time, but I believe that the majority of those getting married have the same intentions, so how can I be sure I get it right? My parents are divorced; my grandparents on both sides are divorced; my step grandparents are divorced; various uncles and aunties are also divorced – even my great uncle is divorced. Perhaps it is unrealistic to believe in forever, but I want to believe it is possible
I've grown up around a lot of people who had successful marriages because they married under the impression that divorce was only an option under extraordinary circumstances such as adultery, abuse, etc.
Yes - first marriage he committed adultry with his best friend's wife - there is no forgiving.
The main thing I've come to understand is that many people have "successfully" unfulfilled marriages and stay together for the motivation of not getting divorced rather they settle with each other and don't live fully.
Sometimes I think people who have been boyfriend/girlfriend for years and years have it right (while not smiled upon by religious doctrine and is also a great hiding place for commitmentphobes) - because they have a certain flexibility to walk and in ways I believe it may shift their relationship from complacency to action in keeping the relationship alive.
my father polish married age 29, mother -english- aged 18. i married aged 27, was engaged before-didnt feel it wa right and i was too young. ex-husband 26-i married for life-catholic-x husband had other ideas!!!-not catholic-decided he wanted to be single again-once 3 kids reached what he consisdered-old enough-wish he had let me know this before we married!!!! probably should have married person i was engaged to-i feel i have now met someone i want to be married or not -what ever works for both
The reason my father married so latre was because he served in the Russian army during cold war. Never had the time to go about and meet women. Same with my uncle. He is 36 and was married last year, and just had his first child.
this thread was from 2007 so I can imagine the average age would indeed go up.
I was 28 and my wife 26, which is pretty average it seems! Although, I felt pretty young given the age people get married back in the UK. I'm now 32 and the UK weddings are trickling in here and there but most of my 30 y/o + friends are still single or dragging the feet!
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