Polish men are complete doormats (especially after they get married)

I'm probably gonna rock a few boats with this discussion but here goes.....

This observation comes not from me but by my friends from Eng who visited me BTW

Why are the majority of Polish men complete doormats (I think the word is ************** whipped) in polish). I believe in treating people the right way but Polish men take it too far. I am talking about the situation when a Polish man gets married, that's the last his friends see of him or when a man is out with his other half her handbag becomes too heavy so the husband has to carry it. I even heard a man talking on the phone the other day to his wife/gf. He was almost begging her "kotku, nie mow tak, prosze cie" it was so pathetic.

I might be over-generalising here but the vast majority of my wifes friends are like this. My wife stopped dating Polish men because they became too boring for her, they did everything she wanted them to.

Girls, are you brought up in this country expecting men to be like this?
Men get some balls and stand up to her. Try it once, she might even like it.

Wow, I hope I find a man like that ;)

Well I think it just happens to men who happen to marry strong women. I am welsh and our family are full of strong women and the men you are describing here basically fits the description all of their welsh husbands. I don't think it's a polish thing i think it's a domineering women thing lol. I basically grew up around these kind of relationships

XD

It's not just Polish men. Polish women are very domesticated and like u 2 spend time at home with them. I used to go out a fair bit when I was single but now that I have a GF, I don't. It helps to save money.

I am welsh born also and I have never met a Welshman I wanted to date (but I am only 43).
I am a fairly dominant female and I like fairly submissive males. I agree, it's not a Polish thing, it's a relationship thing.

C

lol that is so not true. it's quite the opposite of that actually. to most Polish men that I know their beer (more like vodka) buddies and footy match come first no matter what. thats why you hear them saying


on the phone to their women, because they are probably trying to calm them down and not get dumped cos they prefered to go drinking with their friends. if you ask me, i find English guys to be more submissive than the Polish ones. but then i tend to have that effect on men ha ha.


just being a gentleman, but sadly it's dying out.

Lol well I can't say I blame you on that score. I haven't really met many I wanted to date either but my dad and all my uncles are very submissive types. The strange thing about my dad is that in work he was very dominant and in every other area of his life really apart from with his family. The same could be said for the other men in my family. Not exactly wet blankets in life but 'yes' men in relationships.

XD

Wow this is what Polish men are like??? Where do I sign up!!!!! XD

Yeah definitely not a "Polish" thing. You've probably just had some unique experiences.

Would the majority of females wish to have a more home loving male, who wasn't down the pub watching the football?

I know I would.

i mean, cmon....everybody needs a break....

Yes they do, but coming to the theatre, cinema, bowling, resturants, with me and family and friends is preferable to me.

I don't mind if my guy goes out with his friends as long as he doesnt drunk dial me at 2 am to tell me he loves me or just laughing like a nutter...

i like to go out with my girlfriends, he likes to go out with his buddies... not all the time and not to get stupid drunk....i think it's healthy...

it is a bit creepy to do everything together, you need some space. i used to go out loads with my girlfriends but i'm over that now (getting old and stingy haha), he occasionally goes out with his mates or his brothers when he goes to Scotland but when he's got a choice of going out on the p*ss with his buddies or going to the movies or dinner or just staying in with me he chooses the latter. good choice ;)

Absolutely. When my girlfriend and I graduated college last year we moved in together in a small apartment in California. It was a new place and new experience and we were both excited for it, but we'd never lived with each other before and moving in to a tiny studio was absolutely frightening. "When am I going to be alone?" "How can I keep her interested for 24 hours?" "Where will I go when I need some time." But we've kept our heads about it and found things we can do together and things we can do apart, even if were together. She loves naps so she'll conk out for an hour or two and I can do what I want. I love baths so I can spend two hour alone in the tub. In the whole year we've been living together the only two problems we've had that are related to the apartment are that I can't fold a towel apparantly, and that I scream too loud at the baseball games on TV. Hey, both of those problems are my fault, wait a minute....

Relationships are comprimises but they're also learning experiences. If I go to an art gallery with her that I otherwise wouldn't I'll probably learn something, just like she has fun at a hockey game with me even though she probably woudn't go on her own. I don't know if I'm a doormat, but I do consider her feeling before I say or do things and if that makes me ***** whipped then so be it, I suppose. Oh, and I'll hold a purse but ONLY IN DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT REQUIRE THE ATTENTION OF BOTH YOUR HANDS, LADIES.

I love my GF and she trusts me and I have a lot of freedom I will never use it to hurt her. I spend a lot of time with her and enjoy it. I love my little star.

This is true love ! :X
Stories I see here are form X Files.

please don't paint all of us with such a wide brush. it sure isn't my fault you dated losers.

And another thread with stupid generalisations, each relationship is unique, what works for one couple doesn't necessarily work for another....and just because your partner is nodding their head and smiling saying yes dear, doesnt mean that they're not off to the pub with their mates as soon as they walk out that door......some times its far easier to 'appear' submissive to get what you want ;-)

hmmm.. shelley, are you a rebel rouser? lol

oh yeah definitely, they aren't being nice without a reason, there's always a reason ;)


i didnt date them, but other girls i know did and i felt sorry for them. Polish guys aint my cup of tea tbh, but anyway. why does this offend you so much? you're not even a native Polish man! i lived there long enough to notice what most men are like. there are exceptions, but i'd definitely not call them doormats. if anything, they tend to think too much of themselves.

So when does he go out? When does he meet his friends? I wouldn't want anyone stopping me from meeting my friends and having a girly night out so I wouldn't like to stop my bloke meeting his friends? Obviously when a relationship begins, there is a period of time when adjustments must be made. Possibly if either person was single before they may have seen their friends five nights a week and that would have to be cut down. So no, he needs his time to meet his friends and I would need mine. Plus, if he is down the pub watching the football, I would be getting peace :)



I don't really know what you are basing that on. I know a few Polish couples and I've never been given the impression that the man is a doormat. I am particularly close to one couple and I see that they always look out for each other, take care of each other and yes, he is a gentleman and carries some bags or takes something that is too heavy. He doesn't do it because she tells him to, he does it because he is looking after his wife (his best friend too :). She looks after him too. So no, I don't think Polish men are doormats in general (some will be, that's a fact - some will also be completely the opposite).

I, personally, wouldn't want anyone else carrying my handbag and I haven't actually seen my friend carrying his wife's handbag but I know if I asked him if he'd do it, he would and if I asked him if he was worried about what other men think he would reply something about not having to prove himself to other men.

Please…who does not want a gentleman?

First date huge silly turn off's in order of importance:
1) Man not opening doors, carrying bags, etc
2) Man sweating because they are nervous (uhg! horrible)
3) Small hands/funny voice

I know of many girls rejecting guys for the very first reason.

No such a thing as strong women or men.

The English phrase is 'who wears the trousers'

If a guy lets any Woman walk all over him, she probably will. The reason being that a Man's job is to be in charge and take care of things. Being a 'doormat' in a relationship is a bad place to be in. The word 'cuckold' comes to mind.

Not that I would want a submissive wife. Hell! That is just boring.

My Dog hardly ever does what I tell him, and I love the devious swine to bits.

If you are in this position, just start saying 'No!' And drink more Beer. And watch football. Soon you will be the big boss man.

I am with a Polish man and door mat is the lastword that comes to mind! He's very strong and is not afraid to speak his mind or tell me where to go! But then im not the type of woman to be moaning a him every 5 mins either!!! Its all about repect for each other... I l think a man who does evrything for me would be boring, i have more respect for people who stand up for themselves....

Well said,

The thing is, if he was a girly-man, you would lose all respect for him.

Lucky for you he is not.

"Hey, i really had a great night and....wait, stop, show me....hmmm...your hands are,well,small my friend, can i call you friend? k, this could never work im afraid, you have what they call "small hands"....

WTF, any woman that rejects a guy with small hands needs to get a head check!

I've got small hands. I'm doomed.

I think that's the biggest dream of every polish woman, that's why polish men are like that, just like their's women want.

That's why Pole belongs to other Pole!
It's BEAUTIFUL and natural for us.

ps: I'M POLISH WOMAN AND I'M PROUD OF IT! :)

Haha, yeah my bf says his priorities lie in the order of:
1.Tyskie
2.Me
3.Friends and family

:) lol, although this is a joke between us there may be a little truth in it for some haha :)

I don't think its a Polish thing, but just some people are like that. I'd quite happily carry my own bags, (or even help him with his when we go shopping) open my own doors, do my own washing up. But he will quite often take bags off me, take the sponge out of my hand when I start to clean...etc etc. I grew up in a family where everything is shared, whereas my boyfriend did a lot for himself growing up and wasnt treated well by his parents. Maybe this is some way of him trying to compensate for it! I don't know........

Im not sure its cultural in the sense of nationality, but just upbringing etc. But maybe thats just my expirience.

Well, they rate Polish women very highly indeed so are prepared to forego so much in order to keep them, whims and all. Besides, some women here want to rule the roost. They play second fiddle to no-one.