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Dating married Polish man - please help!

ConfusedM 1 | -
3 Jul 2020 #1
We've been dating for 5 months. When we met, this guy told me he was in the final stages of divorcing his wife who currently lives back in Poland. I believed him... and everything would be fine if not Facebook-related stuff. He still has lots of photos of them together and is refusing to delete them and replace them with mine. He says that if he wipes all these memories out, his ex will get mad, and he doesn't want any trouble! Why should he be scared if they are divorcing anyway?

Also, he is speaking nothing about his divorce and just keeps trashing his ex... saying that she has a nasty personality, ugly appearance, no sex drive and is such a moron... However, he not only still has her pictures, but is also in constant contact with her and even sent her some money and gifts during Christmas (didn't tell me, but I found out).

I feel that I am just a fun-time girl for him, but again there are some facts that make me deny it! He introduced me to his parents who came to visit him here, I also know all of his brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces, and nobody is saying anything! I even was with him in Poland for couple weeks and never saw or met his wife when being there! If he was a cheater, he surely would be told by his family to either divorce or get rid of me? If he is cheating, then why are his family members so accepting?

And he also wants to meet my family. Why the hell would he do it while his wife is still all over his Fb account? Isn't he afraid that my family can check and catch him? I am not telling them his surname just because I am so ashamed of this situation. And I don't want him to meet them while he is not divorced. Yet he is not bothered at all and isn't even trying to at least talk to me about how to hide his relationship status! Why? If I was married, I would never meet my lover's family until I got divorced.

And generally, what a hell is all this? What is it that I can't see here in the middle of everything? I was always thinking that you can only date a cheater in secret, remote places, like hotels, and meeting each other's families is completely out of question. Yet this guy is doing all this out in the open! And nobody of his family is saying anything negative!

So, is he divorcing or not really? Plus, are there any Polish people here who could explain his family's behaviour? Maybe this is just some creepy humour, or maybe an Eastern European tradition?
Crow 160 | 9,545
3 Jul 2020 #2
Dating married Polish man-please help!

Pray. Only God can help you.
pawian 202 | 21,101
3 Jul 2020 #3
Plus, are there any Polish people here who could explain his family's behaviour?

It is probably a case of a Pole who converted to Islam. In this religion a male can have more than 1 wife.
Currently, he is in two minds about the divorce. Perhaps, he is really intent on marrying you but still wants to keep the previous wife.
Allanmz1 2 | 5
25 Nov 2021 #4
Would you consider dating a non married guy in Warsaw?
Oathbreaker 4 | 451
25 Nov 2021 #5
would be fine if not Facebook-related stuff.

My advice to you, spend less time on Facebook. Evidently he doesn't care about Facebook. It's an internet site...

Some women can be extremely territorial and crazy (his ex-sounds like that)

My advice would be for him to work it out with his wife, although from what you write it seems impossible unfortunately. I am strongly against breaking up marriages, especially catholic ones.
Crow 160 | 9,545
25 Nov 2021 #6
a woman has a strong libido. I hope she has calmed down by now.

Ice can help.

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