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Age difference, my Polish girl is 23 and I am 39

dania dude 1 | 3
19 Nov 2009 #1
I met a really nice and sweet polish girl on my last trip to Poland. We are still in contact and Im going to visit her this coming weekend. My question is about the age difference. She just turned 23 and Im 39. She says it dosnt matter to her. But I can feel I feel a little bit strange about it. Is that big an age difference usualy in Poland or? Also I would like to start a family sometime soon and when I think about how I was when I was 23 I cant imagine she would be ready for that. Perhaps its different in the polish culture? She comes from a small villiage near cz border.

Hope to get some thoughts from you guys on this one.
19 Nov 2009 #2
First, yes it's a big age difference, not only in southern Poland, but as well anywhere else.
There might be some reasons she feels attracted to you, do you mind share your thaughts about that?
People at that age usually do not want to get into a demanding relationship, especially when they are students on the other way if she is allready working and has a stable life, maybe she's allready looking for someone and a mariage could work out.
19 Nov 2009 #3
i had a boyfriend who was 13 years older than me and it was the best relationship i have ever had. maybe because the guy was first my friend and i didn't know his age for long time...i didn't care about it.

i don't think it's Polish culture but i know a lot of girls who like older men just because they are more mature and serious with ralationship. just meet her and find out if she really likes you.
OP dania dude 1 | 3
19 Nov 2009 #4
Thanks for the feedback.
Actually, I dont have any clue why she feels attracted to me :-) not that Im ugly :-) but I mean, when I was 23 someone just beeing 30 was so old in my eyes and in a whole other world than me. So why she wants an "old man" I have no idea. I dont have any money if that comes in mind :-) We also have a communication problem. Her spoken english is not very good, and I dont really speak polish. Im a bit confused about this situation. She is part student, part working. She is studying to become a vetenarian and work part time at a animal hospital. Dont know if that counts. Also, on the night we met, she didnt want to kiss. I could hold her hand and kiss her on the chin when we said good bye. That night she told me there were no good polish men in town. All drinking and not serious. We met the next day and this time she also didnt want any really physical contact. She did however kiss me on the chin when we said goodbye. I could put my arms around and that was that. When I got back to Denmark, she wrote me email asking if I was sure I didnt have family. Do you think that could have been the reason for her not to want phsycial contact if she thought I had family and just wanted adventure abroad? When I come to visit her now she has invited me to sleep at her place. She has an extra bed :-) All this confuses me. She dosnt sound like a girl just looking for adventure or?
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893
19 Nov 2009 #5
That night she told me there were no good polish men in town. All drinking and not serious.

Maybe you are a safe option, she obviously doesnt see anything positive in the men in her town.

16 years is a big age gap, but that doesnt mean that its not possible for two people to be happy.

As for is it normal in Poland, not from what I can gather, its not really the "norm" in Europe full stop, but as stated above, its possible.

Good luck.
Wroclaw Boy
19 Nov 2009 #6
She just turned 23 and Im 39.

Lucky bastad.
Kzoo - | 5
19 Nov 2009 #7
I don't think the problem here is the age difference. I would say it's more about the lack of contact (you said you saw her only a couple of times). Maybe that's why she was being prudent about the physycal contact, you know, not being sure who you really are. If you really like her perhaps you should visit her and stay a bit longer than 2 days. That would help you understand her and it'd make her feel more trusting.

I can tell you about my own experience. I met my current g-friend (Polish) in Spain. I was working there as a teacher for foreign ppl. She was there with a big group of Poles, but I met her the night before she was going back to Poland. Of course I had seen her around the school (so gorgeous), but only the last night we talked. After that night I was so convinced that I wanted to get to know her more, that I started looking for a job in Poland. I got the job, I rented a flat and here I am after one year and 3 months :-)

The age difference btween her and me is 10 years. I'm 27 and she's 17. And the night we met I didn't even know how old she was. I didn't find out until one week before arriving in Poland. Neither of us cared about each other's age, and we still don't care.

So my suggestion is...get to know each other as much as you can, if you really want.

Hope this helps ;-)
nomaderol 5 | 726
19 Nov 2009 #8
as you know, girls always say their ages one year younger. so, she is 24. so, difference is 15 years.

15 years age difference analyse:

20 - 35 : big problem
25 - 40 : problem
30 - 45 : small problem
35 - 50 : no problem
40 - 55 : no problem
45 - 60 : small problem
50 - 65 : problem
55 - 70 : big problem

ps: assuming no economical dependency of one side to the other. if there is any dependency, even 40 years age difference is no problem.
OP dania dude 1 | 3
19 Nov 2009 #9
actually she lied about her age on the first night. She said she was 23, but at that time she was in fact only 22. No big deal, dosnt move the scale much in my perspective. But funny I think. Dont know what I will do. Now this weekend I visit her and then will see what happens. But nice of all you to spend time to give your opinion.
time means 5 | 1,309
19 Nov 2009 #10
Lucky bastad.

I second that :-)
polishcanuck 7 | 462
19 Nov 2009 #11
She just turned 23 and Im 39.

Contrats buddy, you are the envy of all men your age. I look up to you, sir. I hope that when i reach the age of 39 i will have a 23 yr old broad. Good luck and enjoy:)

Is that big an age difference usualy in Poland or?

Yes it is. But don't worry, you're a wealthy foreigner so her family will look past the age difference.

Also I would like to start a family sometime soon and when I think about how I was when I was 23 I cant imagine she would be ready for that.

Well depends. You will either be her sugar daddy or her husband. Time will tell what she wants...
OP dania dude 1 | 3
19 Nov 2009 #12
Seems like we are two different places in our lifes Polishcanuck. Im looking for something else than sex.
JustysiaS 13 | 2,238
20 Nov 2009 #13
guys are messing around as per usual ;). i find it a bit suspicious that she was so cautious about the physical contact and now she's gonna let you sleep in her bed. shouldn't you date for a while, have a proper kiss or something? ha ha it's like jumping from one extreme to the other, from nearly no touching to going all the way. have a proper chat first (if you can, looking at your slight communication problem) and decide what you both want. tell her she doesn't have to sleep with you just to make you wanna be with her and that it can wait, maybe she feels pressured. either way, good luck!
20 Nov 2009 #14
Hope to get some thoughts from you guys on this one.

My thoughts? Get in there my son!
rock - | 429
20 Nov 2009 #15
dania dude

Congratulations :)
nomaderol 5 | 726
21 Nov 2009 #16
Im looking for something else than sex.

she is following this forum? i understand then.
Steveramsfan 2 | 306
22 Nov 2009 #17
Im 35 in February and my Polish gf is 22 in 3 weeks. She likes me because I act like I'm her age most of the time but I act my own age when I need to be sensible.

I know what I want from life now, its to spend all my time with her.

Its not because im a rich foreigner either, her Mum gets angry if I try to spend my money. She goes out shopping and stocks the fridge before I arrive!!
RonWest 3 | 120
9 Jan 2010 #18
My Polish wife is 35, I'm 53. We've been together 10 years. She wanted a serious relationship with someone who is not a heavy drinking immature fool. I have a very youthful spirit and I've taken care of myself so I'm in good shape. Heck, I can even outrun her. She is tall, thin and beautiful. She is also well educated with a double Masters. We have a great relationship as we enjoy the same things. We see eye-to-eye politically. She makes me keep my wallet in my pocket as she is more frugal than I. I was raised in a rural area and my family was always struggling. I know what it's like to struggle. Her family struggled as wells so we have a common upbringing. Today I'm a successfull business owner and my wife is a social worker who works with autistic children (very noble and admirable). When she's not doing that she volunteers at a local school to tutor hispanic children in English. We go out dancing, play golf, cook together and have a large circle of Polish & American friends where our relationship is never looked upon as strange due to the age difference. I probably should mention that I'm blessed with good genes and look a lot younger than I am. I still have 103 year old Grandmother. Everyone in my family loves my wife and she absolutely adores my Mother & Father. I've been to Poland 8 times and her family treats me like a king. They are wonderful people and have never questioned her about my age.

So, I guess my point is, take love wherever you find it. Age gaps are not always an issue.
nomaderol 5 | 726
9 Jan 2010 #19
She makes me keep my wallet in my pocket

Heck, I can even outrun her.


We see eye-to-eye politically.

she is a social worker.. you too are same?

Age gaps are not always an issue.

you are correct about this then..
szkotja2007 27 | 1,498
9 Jan 2010 #20
39yo with a 23 yo is no big deal. Best of luck to you.
Floripa 3 | 39
9 Jan 2010 #21
My Polish GF is 36 and I'm 49 and I can assure you, it's not a problem for us. After a while you won't even think about it. Just get on with the relationship and enjoy yourselves.
scrappleton - | 829
9 Jan 2010 #22
My Polish wife is 35, I'm 53

You must have a gumball machine filled with Viagra next to your bed.
nomaderol 5 | 726
9 Jan 2010 #23
what is acceptable age difference? 1, 2, 3, 5, 10, 15, 20,.. 40? and why?

we know money can close any gap. small money differences will close small age difference gaps. big money differences will close big age difference gaps. now, if there was no money difference (to learn, to be sure what age difference means, cancelling money as being a factor), do you think togetherships with age differences of 2, 5, 10, 20, 40, etc could still happen?
omalley 2 | 27
9 Jan 2010 #24
Don't worry about the age difference, just enjoy the relationship while you have it. In this day and age ANY relationship can last days, weeks, months, years OR forever. Just enjoy everyday with your partner and what ever will be will be.
nomaderol 5 | 726
9 Jan 2010 #25
yes, but, no gal/guy can convince me about long term relationship if she is X years younger/older than me... with money, this difference X can be even 50, no problem if money is more important than human for both sides.. but, imagine there is no money difference at all.. What can X be? for you.
omalley 2 | 27
9 Jan 2010 #26
Money may be the answer to 99% of problems in life, but a happy relationship is not one of them. A relationship on average will only last five years anyway, so just have fun and enjoy! simple as that. Then if it lasts longer, excellent, well done.
Floripa 3 | 39
9 Jan 2010 #27
Money is important in any relationship, however if you want to associate money with love then you will always find problems. At present the world crisis is creating a boom in divorces because of financial problems for many couples. Many will be of the same age; however that has no bearing on the strength or durability of their unity. It’s not about age, love or money, it’s about how you deal with the problems of having neither one or the other, or any of the three mentioned. (and there are more)

It's a fact of today’s living that economic strength within the home is essential...not age. Love must be present more than anything else. Said that...a gold digger will always be a gold digger but then you just need some common sense to see that one coming.
nomaderol 5 | 726
9 Jan 2010 #28
People dont know the importance of money. It is 99,99999.....% effective in all kinds of relations. All relations including those you call happy relations start with a decision. If you have zero money, you are not decision maker at all. You can not start any relation.

Anyway, my question above was about the relation between "money - age difference."
To understand this...
It seems that almost all people are calling very young girls or very young boys being together with very old men or with very old women as golddiggers.. Ok, so, imagine a world with no money difference between male and female, what could acceptable age difference be for you? 2, 5, 10, 20, etc ? what?
omalley 2 | 27
9 Jan 2010 #29
My point was the age difference does not matter, just enjoy it, if you enjoy being with her, she enjoys being with you, then go for it... it you are friends, enjoy being together, what does the age matter? Just take it one day at a time. The age will only matter if you make it or let it matter!
nomaderol 5 | 726
9 Jan 2010 #30
if you are 75 and if she is 20... 55 years difference..
you are enjoying probably... of course she too will say she is enjoying.
would you go for this?

she is a gold digger? and you are a buyer of her and seller of gold?
anyway, both sides are happy, whatever the reason is. or not?

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