Polish Wedding March & Funny Hat

Wearing a silly hat for a few minutes made you so upset ?

Like I said, it depends on the situation. If it's done with good intentions and genuine good wishes, sure why not? If it's something you find amusing and fun, sure, why not? Knock yourself out. But don't assume that what you find silly and fun is what everybody else finds silly and fun.

There were a lot of other things. This is not the place to discuss those other things. But from reading other posts in this thread it doesn't look like I'm alone in having found it a somewhat less than heartwarming experience. It can be a nice thing I suppose. It also can be something else.

Your mileage may vary.

Fair enough - horses for courses. But if you can't find common ground with her family over an innocent party game then probably no surprise that your marriage was a challenge. At my own wedding there were some daft local traditions but I was drunk, everyone else was drunk and generally happy - it's a Polish wedding after all. A good rule of thumb at Polish family events (and work events) is that if you join in and smile and laugh then they will like you for that.

Oh, but it is. Tell us more.

You, my friend, make a lot of assumptions.

I found this thread because I was trying to find out more about the oczepiny tradition for my own wedding. Until this site I hadn't found anything about the funny hats or the songs my grandma mentioned. It was interesting to read through here. I can however confirm the funny hats and songs at Polish American weddings in Buffalo. It's funny how you just assume it's a general Polish thing because that has been my experience at all the Polish(American) weddings I've been too, but it sounds it's more a Polish American thing and specifically in Buffalo where I grew up.

We did the funny hats and sang songs including the angels song ("and in a year or two.. provide him with and heir") someone else mentioned. They did it at my parents wedding and my aunts and uncle and other family, but I recently found out from my grandma that my Dzia Dzia didn't want to wear the hat!

It sounds from others that their experiences were more embarrassing or crude, but in all cases in my family it was very lighthearted no one was forced into it. My brother-in-law is from Scotland so we made a hat with Scottish flags and sheep and bagpipes and soccer balls, all in good fun and he got a kick out of it.

My feeling with weddings is that you've got to do what you and your future spouse want, and don't feel forced by parents or family. My wife's family is Syrian so we are trying to include some Arabic music and traditions and some American music and maybe some Polish traditions. But all because we want it to reflect us and our backgrounds. Maybe our families want us to do more and want it to be more specifically Arabic, American or Polish, but we remind them it's an Arab-Polish-American wedding not just any one of those.

Wow! Very interesting. How does conservative Am Polonia react to it?

Hi there! I am sitting in my garage with all kinds of stuff from our attic including wedding mementos. I found a picture of my husband getting the 'fruit hat' put on his head. He was a very good sport about it because he knew how important (Polish) wedding traditions were to me (and especially my Babci, whom he adored). There is a specific song that goes along with that and phonetically it sounds like "spladz nah veeshny ". I wanted to write it on the back of this photo so in years to come my daughter (or anybody) will know what's going on. I am from the Buffalo NY area (go Bills) so maybe it was a regional thing. My Dziadzi was born in Poland c 1894 and emigrated 1906. My Babci was born in 1902 of Polish immigrant parents. And every wedding over the 20th century had this tradition. Now I think every couple, no matter what their heritage is, has 'traditions' to be part of the wedding. Negotiating on them kinda gives a good indication how the marriage is going to go. Thank you for reading!

Traditions like that are worth keeping.

Old traditions stay, and new ones join them.

Thank you for reading.Thank you for reading and writing. Your post is a breath of fresh air. Finally, we have some sensible information and an opportunity to learn more about Poland. After all, that should be the goal of the Polish Forum-rather than hosting an endless parade of self-deluded political geniuses, statesmen, and diplomats. We don't need more Nostradamus wannabes, seers, or predictors of future events, repeating the same old narrative. Instead, we need valuable facts about Poland, rather than the maniacal fantasies of a nuclear Poland promoted by a group of delusional individuals. Finally, a morsel of sensible information, not the
savers of humanity, in other words, the same old crap, every day, with a total lack of valuable facts
about Poland, except for the maniacal dreams about nuclear Poland, by the total of the track delusional maniacs

I spent 50 bucks on mine. She went along with it just fine and in a way assured me that it was me, not the wedding, that she wanted.

She already had the green card so it was no longer the reason to marry me. Neither was my nonexistent money.

That was 55 years ago...