In Poland on holiday - need help with bad case of homesickness

I wouldn't to be honest. If anything I would say it helpdesk with this. In Poland lawyers and factory worker's kids were in the same school, lived in the same building etc and I think most people saw that there is nothing special in it and with hard work you can change your future.

Definitely something to do with material conditions, the gini coefficient, and the vague feeling that people are getting a fair go. Or it has to do with the fact that communism was just a traumatising soul-destroying environment that the generational trauma is still ongoing.

Some people say that however the Hungarian writer Georg Mikes who last visited Poland in the 1930s describes much the same back then.


Worsened since the PRL ended and now of course Poland is cursed with the gig economy. I advertised for admin staff a few years ago and put the salary in the advert (unusual in Poland). I was sad to see the number of applications who said in the cover letter that they would do the job for less than that, trying to undercut others. Quite depressing to see and a sign of desparation.

Maybe they didn't have the required qualifications. I can't understand it otherwise.

There weren't any. Only experience and the ability to use Word and Excel. It was a basic clerical job however most of the applicants were graduates.

Remember unemployment is high in Poland and was even higher then, plus of course Poles often have a general lack of solidarity for their fellow worker. It can be a bi5 of an 'every man for himself' place.

Is it? Technically there are jobs for anyone who wants them... but they often don't pay enough to support a person on their own (hence all the Ukrainians and imported workers in factories).

The applicants probably hoped that the job was an entry position that could turn into something better.... was it?

Much the same thing. So-called ''trickle-down' monetarist economics only seems to involve money 'trickling' upwards.


Very much so. When the business was eventually sold, some of the contracts (that weren't included in the sale) went to her and she still has a couple. They paid for her house.

I suspect the applicants who were trying to undercut each one in a so of scab labour way were jus desperate for any office job. I was depressing to see, especially as they were embedding photos (despite the ads saying not to) on heir CVS. Some of the photos were beach ones in bikinis which suggested how desperate they were and what held be prepared to do to have a job.

'Scuse the typos. Too late to edit. Hopefully the meaning is clear.

They aren`t wider, the same as before, but less busy coz residents have gone on holiday. :):) Today I visited the big city to do some business and bring fresh produce to my urban family. I was shocked coz the centre was nearly empty, completely devoid of traffic jams. It felt like Sunday morning, everybody out of town.

Warsaw is always nicely empty in August, especially at the weekend. It's one of the nicest times to walk around the city. About homesickness, empty streets can sometimes be quite disorienting however whenever I return to the U.K. I notice the older winding streets and realise I miss them a bit. Perhaps that's happening to Lanka in reverse.


Wages going down isn't depressing? Get a grip on yourself, troll, that or stop trying to argue with your betters for the sake of it.

@Lenka

Come back to Poland.

But...

... if you really don't think that coming back to Poland is a viable solution for you, then you have to try and "turn into a Brit" as much as possible. Travel a lot in the UK, familiarize yourself with British heritage, culture and literature (you probably already did this, but make even deeper study), read "Britain" magazine, maybe enroll to a university course in British literature or something etc.

Try to convince yourself that the UK is a better place for you than Poland, and try to forget Poland as much as possible (I give this advice with sad heart).

Otherwise you will be miserable. And with passing time it will get even worse. If you want to stay there, stay there. But not as a Pole who happens to live in Britain but as a 1st generation Brit who happens to come from Poland, if you know what I mean.

Like Novi. :):):) Do you think Lenka is able to do it????
That would also mean quitting this forum. Do you really want it?

So why are you offering such stupid advice???


Every migrant is regardless they remember or forget Poland. Look at Novi how miserable he is. He can`t put up with cultural changes that are taking place in the US but already forgot Poland. And what??? He is in mid Atlantic right now, on t hat giant artificial island made of litter which is floating across the ocean. . :):):)

Because I don't want her to be miserable. To live in constant longing, to feel that she made a mistake...

I said that I gave the advice with sad heart but reading this thread it seems the only way to save her from ever growing longing and misery.


No, not like Novi. I don't want her to hate Poland and Poles.

Lenka didn`t forget Poland after 15 years of emigration. So, offering her such advice is useless.


But forgetting just like that is impossible., You would need an operation on your brain to fully forget. The only psychological instrument that people can use in such cases is developing hatred.

Offer her your advice then and let her choose which one she prefers.


You have a rather low view of people, don't you? Integrating as much as possible into the culture and heritage of a country you emigrate to is quite different from hating your own. Eventually, it has to lead to weakening links with your native heritage and embracing the new one. Yes, "forget" might be too strong a word but in general I think my advice is sound: don't be torn between two countries, either come back to Poland or integrate more strongly with Britain and weaken your links with Poland. Don't torture yourself.

I had a good job and great friends in Ireland. But when the longing hit me, I took the chance and came back. Of course, it was easier for me to come back after 3 years than it would be for Lenka after 15.

You can integrate with one country without weakening links with another.

It's isn't 1930 when contact with home involved a short wave radio and a three week wait for letters to arrive.

London and Warsaw are closer than London and Inverness or Warsaw and Szczecin, and there's no pressure to assimilate or reason to do so.

In my city in the U.K. there are thousands of people who came from a Poland post-2004. Some choose to integrate, most don't and don't need to. Those who integrate either have a hobby which brings them 8th contact with people, a partner they met in the U.K. or they were still school age when they came. The younger ones are sometimes more British than Polish however there is no pressure on them from society.

Water finds its own level and all,of us migrants find our niche. Either assimilating, living in an expat bubble or most often on a continuum between.

Of course, that`s the best option.

But still being haunted with nostalgia for the motherland isn`t a pleasant experience.

I feel that too, however I'd not say haunted. More an appreciation of where you came from based on a newly gained outside perspective.

If Lenka is generally happy with her life in the UK then she will get over this bout of homesickness. It doesn't help that life in the UK has become increasingly harder for people, so positive changes in her home country are going to look more appealing.

I agree with you in that trying to make the best of things is the way forward if returning to Poland is not possible at this time, but I also know from discontented Polish friends that the longing doesn't always go away. Sadly, quite a few people I know are miserable here and feel trapped. I have also yet to meet anyone that has actually gone back to Poland to retire.

I think you have to do what makes you happy. It's harder when you also have other people to consider but life is too short to spend it being miserable and we only get one crack at it.

Probably this is just a blip and Lenka will come back to the UK having had a lovely holiday :)

@Lenka

From today's "Nasz Dziennik"...



There's an article "Again in Poland" at page M2-M3 of today's ND. Among other things it mentions a family that returned to Poland after 17 years in the UK. If you're still in Poland, Lenka, get the issue of ND; if not, PM me your email address and I'll send it to you.

Maybe she just needs to get let laid by an native English or a Indian/Jamaican/Nigerian-English, that'll do the trick?

I read in Wiki that Nasz Dziennik is a newspaper with a Catholic-national profile. Do you really want Lenka to read this? I wouldn't be surprised if she replied that you can read this "Wasz Dziennik" for yourself.

You had to check Wiki to know that? Geez, Alien, you really are an alien (which planet?). ;)


Sure. The article is very interesting, what difference does it make where it was published? Do you think Lenka closes herself in an intellectual ghetto and only reads stuff from her "informational bubble"? Why do you have such a low opinion of her?

Yes, it's tripe.

It's available online if Lenka wants to read it. Most other Polish newspapers are better though.

You should have said: do you really think Lenka will want to read it??? :):):)

This means they lived in the UK with some of the luggage still unopened and their English almost as lousy on the last day as it was on day one.

Or more likely that the parents were reaching retirement age, had a house they wanted to return to, and the dire job prospects in their home area had improved.

I know a couple like that. They like the U.K. and are pleased they got jobs there but are looking forward to going back (with a good pension too).

That article like most press coverage is just nonsense, I mean topic is just out of space....assumptions made by the journo too.

Does it make any difference?

They were users, not part of your society beyond being just legal residents.