You know I like to provoke (thoughts I hope) but if you thought the skin cream thing was a bit much... ever eat Kellogg cornflakes?
We know John Harvey Kellogg as the founder of the Kellogg's cereal company and the inventor of corn flakes. However, around the turn of the 20th century, Kellogg became renowned for his work as an anti-masturbation crusader, prescribing unusual - and borderline sadistic - solutions to the menace of young boys and girls touching their privates.
A remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. The soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice, and if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed.
The best thing I have seen on this topic are the great Penn & Teller on Circumcision: