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Posts by cjj  

Joined: 28 Sep 2007 / Female ♀
Last Post: 31 Jan 2017
Threads: -
Posts: Total: 281 / Live: 152 / Archived: 129
From: is chwasz was skintown
Speaks Polish?: iffy
Interests: chocolate

Displayed posts: 152 / page 5 of 6
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30 Aug 2010
Work / CV/Resume style standards in Poland [17]

a couple of points from my experience (I'm an ex-pat living in Poland so I've noticed some differences)

- a photo is as expected as your name. And most CVs have the applicant's age on them ... I don't want either, but it seems expected.

- security clearances ... maybe not so needed unless the job calls them out ?
- The Letter is important here - paragraphs of text in which the applicant tries to beg for the job while putting in as many supporting-evidence-clauses for his/her brilliance and suitability. I hate reading them when I'm interviewing because they need to be written well to be effective and I'm not really caring about people's ability to string sentences together.

- unless you walk on water (and they really need that skill), make sure the difficulty of calling you to interview doesn't exceed your potential usefulness ...
16 Aug 2010
Real Estate / TRESPASSING ON MY LAND IN POLAND....what can i do legally...? [119]

chop the trees down - you're not going to use them again

or spray the fruit with pesticide -- leave clear information about what you've done, of course, then it's their choice whether or not to poison themselves.
21 Jun 2010
Study / High school entry - exams, points etc in Poland [7]

final year at middle school / junior high and is trying to get into a Warsaw high school / grammar school.

we're still a couple of years behind you ... just finished 1G
but for a different flavour trying for International Baccalaureate ... jury still out (i.e. big Momma is undecided) but it seems ok so far and the amount of English tuition should increase further. It's wierd seeing textbooks in English with GCSE on the front :)

cj in Trojmiasto
15 Mar 2010
Travel / What to do when it's raining in Gdansk [33]

I saw a snowdrop in Wrzeszcz last week ...

Totally off topic but I needed to share :)

p.s. where's the go-karting in Wrzeszcz?
15 Mar 2010
Love / I don't know if she's married and I don't speak Polish - help me romantic folks [55]

Second, I don't speak any Polish and she only speaks a little English so how would I ask her? I would like to be able to ask "could I take you out sometime?"
Third, I'm not very good at chatting to her as I get very nervous, she gives me the full butterflies in the stomach kind of nerves. So any help or hints would be welcome.

Sorry to sound pessimistic, but if you do manage to ask her out ... what .... oh, I guess you can always explode with the pressure of how to communicate. I mean, if she makes you nervous AND you have no common language ... you may as well learn the Polish for "turn up naked, bring beer".
13 Feb 2010
Life / Warsaw - what's there to love? Semi-livable city? [33]

I lived in Vancouver for 5 years before moving to Gdansk. Van is a strange place - probably great if you're a single 20-something who lives with a group of friends in some hip area. Ugly city in a beautiful location. Expensive. Large - so things you could do are usually over an hour's drive away. Running out of places to build houses - land is v. expensive so they build huge houses that leave no room for trees (to replace the ones cut down when the site was clearcut).

And everywhere you go to enjoy nature ... well, 200 people will be there before you.

Gdansk is ... well the expectations are less :) and so are the crowds.
9 Feb 2010
Food / Where can you buy a crockpot aka slow cooker, in Krakow? [38]

She said they bought it here in Krakow, somewhere on Kalwarysja street, or near there, some time ago, but does not exactly remember where.

Any chance she bought it in a 2nd-hand clothes store? I know that sounds crazy but some of these shops also have baskets with oddments of books / electrical stuff / china. I have a splendid, large, muffin-capable Kenwood toaster at home now - courtesy of such a shop (and a snip at 3zloty ;) )

In my experience the electrical stuff is usually ignored by people because the plugs look alien and people aren't willing to take a risk.

(and yes, sometimes things are new. unwanted gifts I guess?)
8 Feb 2010
Travel / Best Easter Eggs in Warsaw? [9]

I think you might find some in Tescos around Easter time. I've only looked once (hate Tescos) and it was too late -- no sign of creme eggs (maybe never in that particular store) and all the big eggs had suffered that fate which seems common for new things in Polish country supermarkets -- taken totally apart by shoppers who were behaving as if they'd never been inside a supermarket before (you can understand why some shops keep their goods behind the counter).
28 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Hello Everyone,

Resentment transfer - I expect so. I can't speak for all females - just me - but it sounds an embarrassingly-possible situation.

I would recommend you help her plan a trip and get enthusiastic about it. She might never come back but if that's on the cards it will happen anyway. Surely better to have happy memories of her excitement and anticipation than drift apart in depressed recrimination?

Has she been home even for a holiday (especially since your child was born) ? I need to go home every so often - it seems to get something out of my system. In any case, once I think I "cannot" go, I want to ...

Friends and family.
I can understand her problem there.
Finding friends takes effort - you have to go looking for them, and be satisfied with a lot of acquaintances in the hope of finding a real friend. I haven't sorted this out in Poland yet - my 'real' friends are online.

Family is a tricky one - especially if they are hitting her emotionally - the lamenting that little Jimmy in America will never know the soil of his homeland. Any of that happening?

"Should I let her go?". What do you mean ? What would "I won't let her go" mean?

If she were to come back *right now* it's so bl88dy cold that she might never leave the airport ....
27 Jan 2010
Life / Lack of Spacial Acuity in Poland [69]

and as a driver i've learned to attempt to judge what the pedestrian will do *without* appearing to look at them. too many times I've caught their eye and *woof* they've flung themselves off the footpath regardless of whether or not I was preparing to stop. there's a place in wrzeszcz(gdansk) near the skm where pedestrians treat the road like it was a pedestrian precinct ... and unless you (pretend to) ignore them they make all sorts of crazy "we have eye contact so he will stop" decisions.

i've nearly creamed babcias (albeit at about 30km/h) in this place because more often than not they don't even pause for a wheeze at the edge ... on they go.

and so i look fixedly ahead hoping to goodness i've accounted for all the moving furballs (wintertime) in my peripheral vision ...
21 Jan 2010
Life / Lack of Spacial Acuity in Poland [69]

Strange this.
My mother always complained about the very same thing.
The Belfast folks who would come down to Enniskillen for their holidays and walk her off the footpath...

Me? I just stop. That forces their hand... or should I say their legs.
17 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

All mammels sleep with their babies. It is nature, it is abnormal to think otherwise.

mammal-natural or not, don't ask me to lick my babies clean after their birth.

Another problem ... is the "Naughty Step", or "Time Out". I am no really sure that this resolves any situation, other that makes the parent feel superior over the child well Gee, what a great accomplishment!.

I like a good threat for my kids but unfortunately "so help me but I'll swing for you" messes with their minds a little too much. I found that "you're within this much of the naughty chair" along with finger+thumb held very close together allowed them to focus on imminent doom.
16 Jan 2010
Life / Having a baby in Poland as a US citizen [9]

my experience in Gdansk, albeit nearly 7 years ago
- VBAC wasn't seriously considered by the doctor.
- my husband was originally not permitted into theatre to be with me for the section. he insisted (his argument being that I spoke very little Polish), but I believe he was successful only because it was a private healthcare birth.

- hospital facilities were a bit brutal, even going 'private'. simple things, really, like ending up after a very complicated section, lying on a bed which wouldn't even be raised up to let me lie more comfortably. After day 2 they fixed a chain with a handle on the end to the end of the bed !! and if I wanted to sit up I had to pull myself up like that.

- oh, and the food was abysmal. wouldn't have fed it to the dog. milk soup with hand-made lumps of flour-dough that were sometimes the size of a large snail. that alternated with garlic sausage ...
9 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

totally unadulterated love, that makes a person and makes a person for life.

I fully agree with that idea, but not with this particular implementation.

Love, yes - and for always, no matter what they do.
My kids get told that often.
But not such a containment of one person's existence inside another's.

When children learn to walk you should be able to see them walk towards something interesting - even in the opposite direction from their parent. Their 'excursions' get longer as they gain confidence and work out that Mummy will be there when they come back. She will always be there for them when they *need* her. Thing is, the time between those moments of need has to get longer and longer.

Otherwise, think of that first morning in K0. Then, it all comes tumbling down, and little fred is 5 or 6 years, not 13 months.
8 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

i've watched my own s-i-l give detailed instruction on fbook to her 28 y/old, married daughter :) I thought at the time it was just her character, but now I'm wondering :)

it's wierd though, when I think about it. the lady who used to do summer-holiday care for my daughter ... she lived right next to her sister-in-law, whose lived on the family farm. little pawel was 3 at the time and spent each and every day wandering *unescorted* round the yard. we're not talking western farm here with everything in a shed and probably locked away - this was a huckster of a polish farmyard with mud and chickenshit everywhere, the old combine sitting off to one side, the local road about 300 yds away, and every equipment shed with a broken door.

that i found a little *un*protective.
7 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

I have never given them herbatka

so that makes two of us :)
my poor tykes had to grow up on water for thirst and milk if they were also hungry.

When my son was born here in Gdansk I tried to say sternly in advance that he was not to be whisked off to the nursery for a glucose feed - that whole idea kindof freaked me out. In the end they did it anyway (i was too ill to fight by that stage) but they had to bring him back because he refused to stuck. I was very proud of him at that point :-P especially as he then proved (all bl88dy night) that he could suck if he wanted to.

7 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

stopped putting socks on her well the in laws accused me of child sister in put tights on her son even during the summer. months.

ha ha ha this brings back such memories.
the locals here really don't do "bare feet on babies" well. i never shoe'd (or even sock'd) either child when they were non-walking infants during the summer. so there i was, walking through real and I noticed a gaggle of litte girls following me round the aisles, pointing and whispering .. wide-eyed. In the end they plucked up the courage to approach me ... pointed at my (poor) baby and asked if I didn't have any socks for him. I suspect they feared we were very very poor (I was probably in slob mode, not dressing up for my Visit To The SuperMarket as is the norm here). I gave them a very mouthful of very cheerful - but very fast and very long - English and they just ... fled. I have expected to see them cross themselves as they disappeared.

A few weeks later my Dad was pushing Son through another Mall and got accosted by a pompous Babcia who berated him for not having put socks on the baby's feet. I was far enough way not to be visibly part of the group, so I could hear him get the full works. He smiled happily, nodded his head and thanked her in English as he didn't understand a word.

One thing I would say, though -- apart from the Babcia's fussing too much, there is REMARKABLE freedom for children to wander around. And they do. So either there is a huge spread of behaviour, or this umbilical cord snaps at some point. I have a friend whose neighbour allowed her 3 y/old to wander where he would. Ok, they live down a very quiet country road, but there are forests all around ...

The Babcia's ... my MiL doesn't even live in Poland :) ... but they generally seem a strange bunch. Very strong-willed, and strong-minded ...
6 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

I can only answer for myself - with not a scrap of Polish blood in me. And I'm afraid I'm in blunt mode tonight ...

A child crying themselves to sleep? Many many mothers I know would never condone that and again, they're not Polish. I've done it myself, and he bellowed for 3 hours the first night. He was 8 months old at the time - strong as an ox while I was falling apart after chemo and r/therapy.

(The morning after the 3 hours (during while I didn't sleep a wink) he was jumping up and down happily when I went to say good morning : within 3 nights he was happily self-soothing during the night when he woke/stirred)

One niggling at the back of my mind, however, is "not apartment-block appropriate". A pretty high %age of Poles live in tiny apartments in an apartment block and their neighbours would probably lynch them if they let their kid cry too long in the night.

I asked about additional children because it would seem that the first child gets the luxury deal - following additions get reduced packages right down to "bring yourself up and let me know before you leave for college"

My first child was much needier (as you put it) than my second -- I spent many years of weekends without a sleep-in because she woke early and demanded my attention. She wasn't good at playing by herself - still isn't - but once she learned to read I encouraged her to do that at every opportunity and now thank god she loves reading by herself in the morning. Child number two, however, can amuse himself for a long time in the morning -- totally different personality.

The point buried in there is that some of this might simply be your child's personality ... first baby and all that (birth order is supposed to have some effect ? can't remember where I read that).

At the end of the day - my opinion again - your life as a family is not only about 3 of you, but you and your wife need to have time for an adult-adult relationship as husband and wife *without the presence of children*. This might only be a meal out once a month, but it needs to happen, and I would say it's a right and a responsibility.

Breathing and etc. Do the statistics not say that co-sleeping has a higher risk of SIDS?
As my Canadian doctor put it just after my daughter's birth: "don't bother waking up to check -- you'll never catch the moment unless you stay awake all night"

Anyway, at 13 months we're not talking about an infant any more.

Washing bottles. You use a dish-washer, right? And why is he waking twice a night to be fed? Ok, I'm obviously missing something here because I would expect a child of 13 months to sleep through the night. I *needed* mine to do that because broken sleep would kill me (I work full time)

Everyday baths. Oh the shame: I've never washed mine everyday. "Top and tail", yes, but not a full-blown steam and wax.

Ok - I'll stop here because I've probably insulted a number of readers :) I usually do when I get talking about children. It's a very emotive topic ... I've seen women nearly come to blows over the various topics.

6 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

Hi Tom,

I'm originally from Ireland - had my first baby in Canada and my second in Poland. For you - I'd guess it's probably a mixture of so many things that it's hard to put a finger on any single one. :)

If your wife is close to older Polish people - and depends on their influence/comments for her own parenting style - then there would be some Polish influence, certainly. Some other new mothers - like I did - rely more on books / parenting websites. But added into that was a large dollop of my own personality and what I personally did or didn't like.

Kangeroo'ing as you call it is very popular world-wide (as far as I know - it's nearly 7 years since my last child was born) - and that's not just a Polish or even American thing. Google for baby slings and you'll see the industry ...

Once you start, hard to stop (stopping means lots of noise, tears and snot - from the child, usually)

Co-sleeping has always been popular - for many reasons I guess. In my opinion you either like it or hate it. I personally hated it, but I know many mothers from different continents who thought it was near-essential.

My children always had their crib but even with that we had times when tears and wailing were necessary in order to move on to another mode of behaviour (close out the old one - convince the child that yes, it was time to let go).

I've noticed here (in Poland) that children are very warmly dressed indeed - both indoors and out - and the houses themselves are often 25C+ in the winter.

Do you and your wife plan to have any more children ?

my 2cents
20 Nov 2009
Travel / What to do when it's raining in Gdansk [33]

well - you could always kidnap a babcia, take her to the forest and roll her in some leaves to see if they'll stick to her mohair beret.
19 Nov 2009
Travel / What to do when it's raining in Gdansk [33]

go swimming
drive up and down the streets seeing how many babcias you can soak
walk through wrzeszcz without a coat and watch everyone STARE
22 Oct 2009
Work / Does it make sense to move from the UK to Wroclaw for this salary? [50]

Tomera - no real idea, to be honest.
I've seen CVs this week from people with at most a couple of years experience (programming) and they're asking 4.5K - 5K gross.

However, don't add on more years experience and expect more money - it doesn't work that way unless you've turned into a real SME (and can prove it).
20 Oct 2009
Work / Does it make sense to move from the UK to Wroclaw for this salary? [50]

Kiltmaker - Gdansk is out of the question, I guess?
4500/month gross is not a great salary for IT -- not for an IT developer, certainly. I have guys earning more than that, without more than 5 years' experience. However, from what I have noticed here, the power of a CV is in education and one's "guru-ness". All the favoured skills in the West (being able to work in a team, being proactive, being blah blah blah) are only thought about after a buzz-word paper sort. The move from "programmer" to "software engineer" hasn't quite happened - or at least not widely-spread enough to affect the market.

My thoughts only - I'm currently reading through CVs trying to deduce the softskills of the applicants :)
If I were you, I would be careful. Sure, you can live on 4,5K - but do you want that type of life? Unless you were really sure that things would improve it's a big risk to take. I moved from a high salary in the west to a lower one here -- it's not a pleasant move. I lived on peanuts at University but I don't want to have to do that any more - and not with 2 kids.

25 Jun 2009
Work / Software Jobs in Poland [31]

I am a software engineer and have 6 years of work experience, having worked in Germany, Belgium and presently in UK.

Six years of work experience might mean { }
The interest is in a person's direct education/skills, not in how rounded / experienced / capable they are. Oh, and how cheaply they can be hired.

What qualifications do you have. If you don't have sufficient paper quals you'll most likely not make it through the paper sort.
Have you clearly identified that salary isn't a big issue? Put it in your cover letter (in a positive way).

What are you direct skills? Software engineering won't be valued. They'll look for Coding Language X, Tools A, B and C.

Have you thought of technical writing in English? That can be a back door into a company.
Or testing.

I haven't experienced much external hiring of people with experience -- that's sourced by people already inside. The paper ads are for new grads or people with little experience. There isn't the turn-over of people moving from one company to antoher to move up career ladders that can be more common in the west.
23 Apr 2009
Life / Popular and Practical Cars in Poland [49]

so the only way to steal the car (for most crooks) would be to have the thing towed... and even then they wouldn't be able to start it.

but it would still be useful for spares ...

Our neighbour's visitors had their car stolen last year and the expectation was that it would never again be seen in one piece.

1 Apr 2009
Real Estate / Septic systems in Poland [11]

Septic tank .. or one of those fancy soak-away thingies? We went for the latter, and the dork who installed the runoff filter field left it 'uphill' of the tank. gah.

Then we realised the architect hadn't drawn in any vent pipe leading up to the roof ... ah, but a situation where the whole we wanted wasn't going to be anywhere near the sum of the parts ...

Oh, and the afore-mentioned dork put the house-to-tank pipes in backwards (yes, it's possible, ... something to do with which way the solids get to flow again the joining-collars.
7 Oct 2008
Work / Salary expectations in Poland [373]

Is there a way to determine actual salary ranges for companies in the IT sector?
For example, if I wanted to find out how much Company ABC pay their new grad hires is there any straightforward way to find out?