Life / Why are Polish so conservative and religious? [240]


The Poles I know who have pûrn on a big screen TV while little kids and grandmas are running around/sitting on the sofa (respectively) right in front of the telly don't seem so uptight ...

Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]


Yeah, I have to say that I imagined the ones saying that circumcision is the absolutely necessary thing to make the otherwise naturally-imperfect male PERFECT, are the ones who unfortunately, when they were tiny babies with only their parents to protect them, were handed over for the snipping.

I am really sorry that happens. At least the practice could be changed so that boys only do it aged 18 plus, with consent (of course!!) ... and the signature of two (impartial) doctors ...

So yep, trying to convince us all that Poland is backwards because they don't do that to babies routinely and don't exert cultural pressure on all parents to do that to their little boys is ... not gonna work, really.

End of thread.

Life / Why are Polish so conservative and religious? [240]


The most important point. And the liberals came over here first, and were my first wave of Polish friends, and then the rest came over later, and gave me rather a shock ...

Life / Things that annoy you in Poland. [114]

I hate the mixture of snow and dog sh*t ... really hate that dog sh*t. And the old ladies who stand holding the little red leads of their tiny pooches as they relieve themselves everywhere ... and then when the snow MELTS ... jeez ...

Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]


It sounds like it might have some health benefits re: in particular the HPV which can cause all sorts of awful things.

However, as a female, I will put up my hand to say that I prefer the uncut, uncensored, untouched version ... sorry ... perhaps that should be the next discussion ...

Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]

Saw a pic of a circumcised ahem appendage recently and it was all labelled up, in medical fashion. One label, pointing to a jagged-looking ridge of scar tissue, said 'Scar'.

Call me crazy, but it really didn't look good, and I would question a procedure that mutilates someone's arguably most vulnerable part in this way ... sorry to say mutilate, but it did look a bit drastic ...

Life / Teenage Pregnancy in Poland [108]


Have you had a sex change?

Life / Teenage Pregnancy in Poland [108]


Wow, everything is so simple and clear-cut, isn't it?
Has it ever, ever crossed your mind that information is one thing, and experience another?


We are all entitled to an opinion. Mine happens to be based on experience. So please don't be so rude and call it 'tosh'. Frankly it has a better foundation than your posturing. And getting away from topic.

Life / Teenage Pregnancy in Poland [108]


Again, not quite right ... rather for all who are told it is the 'sensible' option, and are too young/naive/inexperienced to understand even what they are doing, until it is too late ... for people who trust that system, and do what seems to be the suggested best option. Let's face it, almost everyone talking here also thinks that if a young person gets pregnant in an unplanned way, then the pregnancy should be removed - isn't that what the whole 'flushing out a zygote' means? So ... no, not at all just people who ask. People who are conditioned, and often pushed, in this direction. Of course some also ask, but a lot are just doing what they are told.

Again, I think that especially in Poland, it is fine to be pregnant and a teenager, if that situation occurs. Families are child-orientated, everyone has children if they can, and they have them young.

It also means there isn't a generation or several of deeply depressed 30-40 something women with no children, and desperate for them, as in the UK ... I think I'd rather be mother to a 16 year old at 34 than sobbing my heart out into a glass of chardonnay, as the unlucky ones do ...

Life / Teenage Pregnancy in Poland [108]


Erm, afraid you are wrong there. The 1968 abortion act is constantly and deliberately circumvented in order to offer abortion, and it is a big business. Can't quite believe how naive you sound. (In the UK, abortion if not on medical grounds is only supposed to be carried out if signed off by two doctors who have seen the patient, and if it will cause more psychological or physical harm to the woman if she were to have the baby ... actually, in abortion clinics frequently women don't see any doctor, and they don't even have the procedure explained to them. Post abortion, as they lie crying, etc, they are told to be quiet in case the ones coming in hear them ... and that is just the tip of the iceberg.)

Sorry, but I think only those who have been through the procedure are really in a position to be able to judge what it is or isn't. And it certainly isn't something I would want any teenage daughter of mine to go through.

So if Poland judges that teen pregnancy is better than teen abortion, I think I am with them.

Life / Teenage Pregnancy in Poland [108]


Absolutely. Totally agree. They shouldn't need locking up if they have been taught respect for life, themselves, etc. ...


As far as the woman's hormonal system and the way her body is operating at 3 months into a pregnancy, to remove that pregnancy is catastrophic, and in a significantly large number of women, has serious and, in some cases, life-long effects. It is a very traumatic intervention, and to be avoided at all costs. And that is just in terms of the woman's wellbeing. As for the unborn child, will have to beg to differ on when it becomes a life to be protected. Most women's bodies would tell you from the moment of conception. You are a guy ...

What is pretty heart-breaking, and at the core of this discussion really, is that whether or not the unborn child is considered of value and a child depends entirely on the circumstances of the parents. So, it is convenient in a teen pregnancy to say 'it isn't a baby', but when someone has been desperate for a child and paid thousands for IVF, they are cracking the champagne and crying with joy when they see it a few stages after zygote in a petri dish.

Re: this question here, though, a new one:
Is it ok to be pregnant and a teenager in Poland?

Because I actually think there is more tolerance of it in Poland, as women are generally much younger when they have children, and getting married/having kids at 20 or 21 isn't such a big deal, so a couple of years earlier isn't so bad.

Life / Teenage Pregnancy in Poland [108]


The zygote is the one-celled organism that results from the fusion of the two gametes, ie, the very first fusion of the two. By the time anything is 'flushed out' (actually, hoovered out, if still hooverable, and if not, hauled) it is much much more than just one cell ... if you think that the D & C version of abortion is regularly used up to 12 weeks or so, and think about how big the fetus is then, we are not talking about one little fused cell. The baby is about 5 or 6 cm long, and has had a beating heart for some weeks. I saw both of my children on a scan at 8 weeks, and they were very much alive - bouncing around, moving, even though so very small. Life is unmistakable, and anyone who has seen a scan will not tell you they saw anything other than a live creature.

But I guess I shouldn't be boring about this. The point is, of course life begins at conception, it is quite ridiculous to try to hold to anything else, and so if this life is not wanted, then it shouldn't be created. If teens are getting pregnant, then their life will change forever, whether they have the baby, or an abortion. Abortions are no picnic. They are a death and the ensuing grief in themselves. Ask any woman who has had one. So absolutely vital that teenagers are locked up and not allowed alone together.

But what hope is there for them, especially in Poland with all that pûrn on the telly??

Life / Teenage Pregnancy in Poland [108]


nice


I'd rather sterilise people than kill babies ...

Love / help needed to warn off troublesome pole [25]


Glad to have helped but ... are you related to the guys in the original post, or in another situation? Sorry ... getting mixed up here about which girl/guy is which!!

But if you have been on the receiving end of this kind of blackballing ... you have my every sympathy.


yep, that is the form. You will bend over backwards to help, make phone calls, fix up jobs, do basically all sorts of things that yr English or otherwise UK friends wouldn't ever dream of asking you to do ... and then you will anyhow be the biggest s*k* in the world (especially if you ever stop helping so much).

I was once literally physically attacked by an older woman I had been pressurized into helping because there had been a day where I'd been at work and my phone had run out of battery, and during the 2 hours without phone contact, she'd needed to discuss something with the person whose house she was cleaning, and she hadn't been able to get through to me. Suffice to say, that was the end of my helping ... now know how to say no. It goes against the grain for me, as generally am ridiculously sympathetic ... but the rules are different, and I didn't realise that.

Important to wise up. And with this crazy girl, some kind of enforced restraint is needed. Threat of police will hopefully do it. Oh - and the CUTTING OFF COMPLETELY. That is very important. Totally blanket refusal to answer calls, say hello to her on the street, etc. Sounds draconian, but that is again the form. That is what you must do to indicate that she has been zeroed from yr lives.

Love / help needed to warn off troublesome pole [25]


This is, I think, a technique employed by Polish women in particular (as opposed to the men, although some do it as well, but usually only on their girlfriend/wife's instructions). I'm sure other nationalities do it as well - not saying it is a peculiarly Polish trick - but just that I have only seen it in action among Polish women: the bad-mouthing of a woman, especially a foreign woman, is a common tactic to get her off the scene. And it won't just be turning things so that they are wrongly interpreted - it will escalate to downright lies. And anything the woman does will be picked over for days, sifted through for yet more angles on how dreadful a person she is.

I should know. I have been on the receiving end of it, not once. It astonished me at first, because it is such an underhand trick, and it is strangely effective. Your son, though, is English, and will presumably just not listen to anything said, and isn't interested at all in this woman.

I think he should speak to her, tell her her doesn't want her, tell her to leave him alone, and say that if he hears from her again, he will go to the police. Police will usually work (just the threat).

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]


Sorry ... I must have been tired. I didn't mean that everyone is like that. I just met a lot of (older) people who had that sort of opinion. Anyhow, nothing to do with how pretty or otherwise Polish girls are.

Polish women are often mean because they are hungry/have drunk too much strong coffee. So maybe that explains the thin/beautiful but b**chy ...

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]


Oh boy, are you right there ... I will never forget how shocked I was when I discovered that anti-Semitism was the open norm in Poland ... I had naively thought that after what happened in the war, the Poles would be sympathetic to the Jews. Very naive.

But to keep on-thread: do we think, then, that Polish women are considered the most beautiful by Polish men because they are racially pure? I know Polish guys really don't like Polish girls going off with ethnically-different guys in the UK ... especially if of a skin-colour not entirely white ... and there is a kind of international Polish sperm donor bank, but it is only open to those of 'pure' Polish origin ... (I know that's not exactly relevant, but it is quite an interesting little nugget of info, I think).

Oh, and also because Polish guys are macho and WANT their women to be considered the most beautiful in the world ... there is great loyalty to the Polish female among Polish guys, however much make-up and however orange she is. So long as she is thin, she is beautiful.

Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]


Oh, come on. 6-legged babies are, of course, where something went wrong - but they are not the plan, not how Nature actually intended. Breast cancer is due to chemical pollutants and stresses that we have imposed on ourselves (it doesn't exist in primitive societies), so unfortunately a reaction of our bodies to generally unnatural things. And bad teeth? Do you think Nature intended us to eat sugar by the bucket-load?

I don't know quite why there is such a gung-ho approach to a delicate physiological mechanism. What, is it easier to keep clean if you are circumcised? Frankly if I were a guy, I think I'd rather stay intact and make a bit more effort in the shower ... but I am not a guy, so can't say. Only would say from a female point of view, that I prefer the uncut version. I guess the Polish ladies do as well ...

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


The Oxford PWN English-Polish Polish-English Dictionary has it, so don't be so certain unless you are ... it translates as 'dama w opalach'.

I have not anywhere tried to be mean or to criticise. I simply thought that you needed to be realistic about how you approach this. Great that you have some job offers. When you get there, hope it goes well.

I would still say, however, that if you live in someone's house, think a little bit about how you interact with the family, because it could be very uncomfortable/unpleasant for you if you don't get on, or, if as is more likely, you make waves that you aren't aware of making. Nobody will be quicker out of the door than someone who upsets a family's equilibrium. I am not in any way saying that you will, but you asked for advice, and whilst you have had lots of jolly comments from guys on here, I am telling you what I think it would be useful for you to know. Advice is not always what you want to hear, but hopefully it might help you. And what I said about being 'sensitive' is just that I have had experience from both sides - living with a family, and having people live with us - and I know that if you want to have a happy time there, and stay for as long as you want, then you will need to be a bit careful about what you share, and how you are. That is all. Don't be offended by that. It is not personal. I don't know you at all. I am just trying to help, as well.

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


Yep.

You're already too sensitive about this, Noreen. And I have a great sense of humour, but was trying to give you the practical advice you need. So:

Either
Stay with friends while you find your feet and a job
Or
Get a job to go to.

You are currently throwing out your hopes and dreams like a bit of a damsel in distress, and hoping someone will come to your aid. Somebody might - I hope they do - it is the kind of site where someone might take you under their wing.

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]


? Did I say I was half-Polish? I am not Polish at all. I am a Yorkshire/Welsh/East London/Scottish/French cross, like any self-respecting mongrel. I just got the Zeta-Jones cheekbones from Wales, and a pair of pretty nice green eyes from the rest.

Yes, as I said, there are some really rough-looking Polish women ... generally the ones on the street rather than the ones in these photos people post here ...

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


?


I'm sorry ... but I guess you really don't understand, at all. I am coming from the position of a mother with a young daughter, and I took your first post seriously, but I'm afraid to say that reading what you go on to say, there are things that put me off.

I will try to give you more clear advice:

- If you want someone to have you to live in their house and look after their children, and for you to be a part of the family, and for you to improve your language, then you need to be thinking about the deal in terms as much about what you bring, as what you take. What I meant about the 'men' comments was that if I thought you were coming over as an available female, coming to live in my house with me and my husband, I would not like the idea of it. That is not me being insecure: that is a normal, and fairly sensible, female reaction. So all I meant was, that by putting yourself out there, you are putting off us potential female employers.

- By 'nightmare' I was obviously being too subtle. I didn't mean that the family would be a nightmare. I meant that a situation where the wife was annoyed and you were flirting with the husband would be a nightmare.

- Your changeability is also something not really great in terms of someone offering you a job/home.

In conclusion, the things you are saying here could be putting people off helping you. OK, so you might want Southern to show you the sights of London, but he isn't going to put you up (well, not for more than a night or so ; ) and pay you and give you what you said you wanted. To get offers from that 'nice' family you want, you might have to think a bit more about how you present yourself.

To be honest, it sounds to me like you just want a base from which to explore London, and life. Which is totally understandable. But then don't try to live with a family. Because you won't like it.

To get a room you will need as someone said, probably min. £400 pcm, and £400-800 deposit. Your best bet would be to get to know some Poles already in London, and they will for sure find you a room. You will then need to earn min. £1,000 a month or so to live, including paying your rent. You should bring min. £2,000 with you from Poland, I think, which will give you a month to find a job.

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]

Yes, Poles are extraordinarily mean about British women, and generalise in a way that one can't, really, in such a mixed society. What everybody avoids saying, of course, is that broadly speaking, the issues of obesity, looking bad, etc, are attached to class bands. There are some very rough people in the UK, and they are usually either painfully thin, or monstrously fat and ill-kempt. If you look at the girls in Oxford, where I am, you will see a hoard of rough ones, fat spilling over jeans, hair greasy and pulled back, dressed exclusively at Primark, and then you will also see a host of slim beauties from a different class of parent.

We all give this blanket verdict that Polish girls are beautiful, but I have also seem some very rough-looking Polish buggers. An insistence on too much make-up, hairstyles verging on the crazy (and certainly cruelty to the supposedly - or previously - living thing that was their hair), and kitted out in white and pink Nike and Adidas. And a mean look on their faces. And I have also seen plump Polish girls.

So: I would say there is a certain type of Polish beauty which is very appealing, and that in general, the population is more similar, and there are many more of a normal weight. English, Welsh, Irish and Scottish girls - all very different in themselves. English girls seem to come off worst, because there is a wider range of types, and a vast, and growing, group of badly-dressed, over weight. And that is to do with their upbringing, not their genes. And then we get on to a different debate.

There are more mongrels in the UK, though. Poland does have purer racial lines. So I guess that is also what people sense, but don't want to say, as it sounds bad, somehow. Well, no more bad than saying all English girls are fat and monstrous. If so, why are so many Polish guys with English women? Because they are ... generally nicer? ; ) Shall I generalise that there are lots of very hard, ambitious, self-serving, b**chy Polish women? No, because it wouldn't be fair. I know some wonderful Polish women, and I know some absolute cows. And it has to be said that however 'beautiful' someone is, when they behave badly, they look bad.

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


Just to warn you - that single comment, although aimed at friend-recruitment, will put some women off ... because you sound like you are on the look-out, and it wouldn't be wise to take such a woman into one's house. (I wouldn't take me, if I were on the look-out ...)

Be careful about that. Living in someone's house might seem like a straightforward thing, but it often isn't. Even a 'nice' family can turn out to be a nightmare. And if you add the element of jealousy into the mix, well ... you might need to hide the knives at night.

Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]


Is this some sort of a joke?

As a normal female, intact as I was when I came out of the womb, I would (as would most of the world) be horrified at the idea that anyone should 'rearrange' my genitals.

So why, please tell me why, should it be ok to chop off someone's foreskin?

The foreskin is there for several good reasons. It has a job to do, as does everything Nature provided. And given that reproduction is our primary drive, and the male organ the primary deliverer of this function ... do you honestly think Nature would have got it wrong??????

Bollocks (excuse the oblique pun) to all this nonsense about 'cleanliness' and 'disease'. I am obviously not a guy, but I understand that if one practises basic, simple hygiene procedures in the shower, it is more than possible to keep your dick clean. ! Suffice to say I have intimate knowledge of an uncircumcised male who is perhaps the cleanest person on the planet. The phrase 'you could eat your dinner of it' comes to mind.

It is a monstrous idea, cutting off the foreskin. OK, if someone has a problem, it is too tight, it hurts them ... ok. That is medical. But as a matter of culture and principle? Maybe, eons ago, when tribes lived in water-less regions, but even then ... sorry. I think it is barbaric. The mechanism of the foreskin is a thing of wonder to behold. Why oh why would anyone even think of messing with that?????

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]


Well then I guess I should be happy that when I lived in Poland, everyone thought I was Polish ; )

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]

Polish women are genetically advantaged, BUT ... they are also taught how to be beautiful, by their mothers.

My four-year-old will not, for example, leave the house without matching shoes, gloves, and sunglasses. She is on her way to maximising those Polish genes of hers. Hurray!

And I also remind her that princesses always smile.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]


Polish women are generally fairly focused and self-sufficient. They have been brought up not to moan/sob/lay all their emotions at your feet and wait for you to scoop them up in your arms, dry their tears, tell them how lovely they are and that it will all be OK. I have seen families where if a child falls over and hurts itself, instead of being comforted, the child is smacked (while still wailing/bleeding/whatever) for having not taken care - having run too fast, having not looked out - and therefore having hurt itself. (I also have Polish friends who are horrified at this approach, but just to say, it is one common approach you will find - and that treatment of a child makes for pretty hard adults, I can tell you.).

If she is telling her friends she is happy, and if she is still with you, then stop worrying, and stop bothering her to tell you 'what she wants'. What does she want? Someone to love her, appreciate her, be with her, have sex with her, have fun with her, build a life with her, and occasionally honour her with, for example, a nice birthday present. You don't need to micro-manage her emotions - she will do this for herself, in private.

She is a very very different kettle of fish to us nitwits who were positively encouraged to say how we feel and be 110% honest at all times ... and that is something of the appeal for a lot of guys, I'd guess. That and the great bodies that most Polish women have.

The real gem is, of course, a woman like a couple of my Polish friends - one with a fine intelligence, warmth of heart, and balanced approach to life, along with a very light touch, and practically zero requirements in terms of emotional maintenance. She will tell you if she has a problem, and she will be hugely affectionate and share everything with you. And also get back her washer-board stomach within 3 days of giving birth. But that is the Holy Grail ... ; )

[And now I sound like I am discussing the characteristics of dog breeds, so I will stop] [Especially since if I run with that, the British women come out as tired spaniels on special offer ...]

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


It is not disdain, but rather an awareness of a cultural difference that I think it would be useful if the poster were wise to. My English mother, had the father done nothing wrong, would counsel kindness, understanding, and, without even a question, reasonable access to the child and sharing of responsibilities. The Polish matriarchal clan (and that is why I mentioned the matriarchal element first) works on the unquestionable principle that men are generally superfluous to requirements, in all the key areas, and certainly when it comes to decision-making, and children. Men are looked after like children. Men are a responsibility in themselves. A woman cooks, washes and irons for the man and children. The deal is that the man goes out early, earns as much as he can, comes home for his dinner, (if he is appreciative of it, that's a bonus), and then rests, ready for the next day's work. On a Saturday he might have a few drinks, but better to keep him on a short rein and not let it get out of hand, because drunken men can be aggressive, and alcoholics don't generally earn as well as sober men.

And my feeling about the gathering of the female clan about the mother is that they were already only tolerating the relationship through willing (more or less) suspension of disbelief that it would work. So when it didn't work, the assumption that the child was the mother's property - almost booty from the relationship - would have been absolute.

It is this presumption of 'possession', and lack of any respect for the potential value of the father's role in the child's life, let alone any right either child or father might have to that relationship, that is at issue here. I think that is typical of the dominant-matriarch society. I wanted the poster to be aware of this, so he could steel himself and not get upset about it, but also not waste time thinking he could depend on some sort of moral fairness that just doesn't exist here. He needs to know what the rules are, and they are different to what he would generally find with a British woman ... I think.


Maybe it isn't - BUT, in that decision, there should be consideration for maintenance/development of the child's relationship with his or her father. That is what this question is all about.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I would tell you, but no, not at all (although an amusing idea).

No. Yes, I am with a Polish guy. I have a child with him. He has other children as well.

The emotional heart/motivation for my comments is more, probably, my own astonishment at the Polish female character, as I continually observe it ... so I guess it struck a chord, and I felt a bit (a lot) sorry for the father posting here. And I am rather keen on the proper recognition of fathers, whatever their nationality. And I don't like the busy bossiness of some Polish mothers (sorry to all you perfectly nice ones out there!) ...