Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

Sean, i'll try to write you a joke about Ukrainian workers in Ireland - I only learned it yesterday and I an not a very good translator (my English is in fact fairly limited) but I'll try

Ok,

So a group of Ukrainian workers went to Ireland (must be illegally I don't know ;) )

a guy hired them to paint the exteriors of his countryside household - he bought the paint and stuff and left them to do the job

now the Ukrainian guys can't actually start a job while not having tasted some vodka before so they sell one bucket of the paint and bring in some booze

now after the first shots they got 'enthusiastic' about having more of the stuff - they went on to sell all the paint they had because they couldn't stop drinking and never really began to paint anything (say made a couple of strokes here and there) - they just have left some small bucket of the paint and when they notice that the owner is approaching in his car one of them makes a quick judgement, runs and paints the muzzle of a horse that the owner kept in his stable there with the paint that was left

the owner gets out of his car and asks the Ukrainian guys why they haven't actually started painting - they answer: it's because your horse has drunk all the paint - and they show him the horse - hearing this the Irish guy goes into the house, leaves with a shotgun, goes straight to shoot the horse - the Ukrainian guys are quite petrified with that and ask - Why did you kill the horse straight away? - The Irish guy says - The horse was no use, a couple of months ago I had a team of Polish builders - the horse had gobbled 10 packets of cement on the day they started the job

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

yes there is one joke that exploits the ambiguity - about two knights meeting with one having bad scars all over his face and body - are these from a sword - no, they are from a 'sheath'

Life / What is Poland's fastest growing ethnic group? [57]


Poland would have even accepted it because Poles wouldn't be timid in showing their new compatriots their place

the thing is it would cost Britain everything - first of all its reputation - btw I don't find muslims to be causing much trouble in England in general save for some fringes

Travel / Pentecostal Church in Wrocław [3]

there are two pentecostal churches in Wrocław that I know of - but I have no idea whether they have any special youth services (I would guess they do not)- this is the contact details of the bigger community in southern Wrocław: antiochia.pl/kontakt.html

Life / Rate Poland (Life Quality / Culture and People / Food): 1-10! [232]


to taste the thousands years of living culture and civilization I guess America lacks

Life / Rate Poland (Life Quality / Culture and People / Food): 1-10! [232]


mainly because the Americans have a couple of such Norways on their doorstep - like Alaska or British Columbia

Life / Rate Poland (Life Quality / Culture and People / Food): 1-10! [232]


because of bloody mosquitos (komary) ;) - only Zakopane and Tatry don't have them :)

Life / Rate Poland (Life Quality / Culture and People / Food): 1-10! [232]


so in a word Poland is mostly for those who seek the peace and quiet

Genealogy / THE MEANING AND RESEARCH OF MY POLISH LAST NAME, SURNAME? [4500]

eeeh - you make it so lowly while it can be so noble : CLAYMORE

Food / Polish name for cut of beef [29]

what is it that you wanted to say? give some broader context not just the two words in Polish (just in case, ya know)

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]


that's funny - but probably difficult to grasp for someone who did not experience some of the communist POland

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

yeah, think Starski&Hutch ;)

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]


this one's a good one :)

a Polish joke that makes the use of the Polish word for dick (but is not about dicks at all):

what is the name of the most famous Japanese architect? Nahuya Mitahata

ok

what is the managing director's office called in Japanese: Yama hama

and what is managing director's himself called: Sam ham

To me the most hillarious of the 'Japanese' jokes is this one:

what is the name of a felt tip pen thief in Japanese? Koshi mazaki :) (it's rather Kosi Mazaki in Polish)

- I'm pretty sure that comicality of these joke is beyond grasp for most of foreigners who speak Polish though

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

my favourite blonde girl joke

what is that a blonde girl thinks when she learns she's pregnant? 'Maybe it's not mine' :)


it means 'In the memory of the seamen of the Black Sea' btw


looks like Greeks are quite obsessed with their.. ducks :P

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]


I know a couple of Polish jokes about penises but they are way more subtle than the southern's one

here's one:

American marines visit Russia - they arrive at Russian marines base - say Sevastopol - an American marine veteran goes for a **** - suddenly a Russian bloke joins in - while they stand and pee the Russiang guy looks over the American guys shoulder and asks? What does it mean 'ORIA' in English?? - oh, it was GLORIA - but a shrapnel cut the remaining part in Vietnam - then the American marine can't stop his curiousity and looks over to the Russian guy - then asks in a surprise 'You also had GLORIA'??? - No, I had 'Pamiati moriakow iz Czornogo Moria' (it doesn't work with the English transcription of Russian sadly)

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]

I'm serious - I have instantly fallen in love with her ;) - kiss her for me, will you :)

btw all those millions of women you mention are already taken - there is growing demand for PiS-loving women here ;)

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]

greet your wife and tell her I would marry her in case you leave her ;)

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

four guys meet somewhere for a social meeting an American, a Russian, a Norwegian guy and a Pole - there is plenty of drink - and finally in the middle of the night it starts getting philosiphical and some pauses begin to appear

then American guy says - You know, in Alaska we have such frigid winters that when you spit your spit freezes before it drops

after a smaller pause the Russian guy says - This is nothing, We in Siberia have such frigid conditions that when you go out in the night to take a ****, you have to watch cause it freezes solid into a an arc and it can actually catch you ;)

after another shorter pause the Norwegian guy says - this is nothing actually, when I worked on an off-shore platform the "Golfsztrom" froze (Gulfstream - definitely needs to be in Polish/German (or maybe Norwegian) because: ...)

good on the bloody Jew - the Pole says to that :P;)

what is that: it's big, it's black, it hangs on a Jew's neck???

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]


Jarosław Kaczyński???

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

you would be surprised but there is already a joke on PO voters :) I can't rember it quite well though and would have to spend some half an hour to translate it into English though

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

the second WW - some hard knocking on a steel door of a Russian bunker - the Russians ask - kto tam? (who's there) - swoi? (pronounces sva-ee)(friends) - a skolko was (and how many of you are there) - ein-und-zwanzig :)

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [128]

no, not always

History / What do Poles owe to Germans? [451]


I very much doubt it - at least in Poland - I have seen lots of very timid german shepherd dogs here and I believe german shepherd is much easier trained into strict obedience than for example rotweilers and dobermans

Life / Mishmash facts about Poland and Poles [182]

well I actually read some Viktor Suvorov now on the internet and one can read there that the Specnaz often jump from as low as 100 m (sounds quite terrible to me)

Life / Mishmash facts about Poland and Poles [182]

I'm not telling your story is not true - I'm telling people can still make up such stories

Life / Mishmash facts about Poland and Poles [182]

I have heard that Russian paras jump at very low altitudes (like 300 m) - consider the losses the German paratroopers have taken during the landing on Crete - maybe it was the same in all Warsaw Pact militaries

Life / Mishmash facts about Poland and Poles [182]


one can deliberately make one such photo using a model - and then make a news of it - while in reality there would be no such trend - go figure - you ever heard of a man eater beaver who devoured a male dwarf prn star??

Life / Mishmash facts about Poland and Poles [182]


one photo can also completely falsify the greater picture - so actually it's pretty moron - sorry

putting a picture of pouring wax on water through a hole in the key - like you can't imagine how it's done - you know what that is - a waste of server space

Genealogy / The typical Polish look, or all Eastern Europeans [676]

Dutch or Flemmish (they have these long narrow noses)

History / The Bar Mleczny / Milk Bar (memories) [15]

yes - the widnow panes always got steamy in the colder seasons - reason: hot food, plenty of people