Love / Polish cities with most single young women [11]


That's a good point. The article showed gender ratios for a number of Polish cities. Some had more men than women, so could be good hunting grounds for single women seeking men. Yet only the partner-seeking opportunities of men were highlighted...

Love / Polish cities with most single young women [11]

I'm moving to Warsaw right away :-)

Life / Public Masturbation now allowed in Sweden, Would this work in Poland? [43]

I think it's probably OK for women but not for men, as they can do it more discreetly and without leaving a mess. However I suspect that female masturbation is still slightly taboo in Poland, due to the misogynistic influence of the Catholic Church, despite the Bible condemning male masturbation but saying nothing against women doing it.

UK, Ireland / Why are Polish people, especially women, so disrespectful toward the English? [437]

Rozumiemnic wrote: <<sorry but that is bollocks - the labour government decided to make work unprofitable in the mid nineties, and have since peddled around the myth of the 'lazy brit' to justify unbridled immigration>>

This is very true. In particular, women with two or more children are better off not working and being single than working on the minimum wage or having a partner.

News / Poles start to feel arrogant and superior to Southern Europeans [182]

I have a theory about why countries in Southern Europe tend to have a reputation for being lazy: the weather. In summer it's too hot to work, in winter the weather's too nice to sit inside, working. In contrast, in countries such as Poland the weather is usually not great, so the people are industrious.

When I explained this idea to an American friend he pointed out a flaw: California is one of the most innovative and richest parts of the US. Which may be true, except of course that they can afford air conditioning...

Love / Polish women: what do you think of Polish men? Physically unattractive? [180]

Magdalena wrote: <<Polish men tend to be rebellious, with a love of anarchy and a wild streak a mile wide, at least until their mothers and wives beat it out of them. Polish women see them not as true adults, but as little boys who have simply grown taller and who therefore need guidance throughout their lives. They often suffer relapses in married life and this is troublesome to the lady of the house. It is therefore only natural that the Polish female rejoices in western men who have long ago gotten in touch with their femininity and who have largely succumbed to the feminist view that testosterone is a dangerous substance which should ideally be forbidden.>>

It seems to me you're criticising Polish women for 'feminising' Polish men, or choosing as partners already-feminised Westerners in preference to 'real men'.

Surely a woman chooses the kind of man she wants to be with, or tries to turn a man into him? This might suggest that Polish women want so-called feminine men. So your preference for 'wild' men may not be widely held by Polosh women.

And anyway, as a Western man, I'm not keen on the 'feminine' label. I believe in being faithful, not hitting the woman I'm with, sharing domestic responsibilities, no meaning no, sex being at least as enjoyable for women as for men. Do these things make me feminine? Or undesirable?

Love / Polish women are angel [30]

Something tells me Anik is not an Irishman. Unless he has been on the Guinness, of course...

Genealogy / I am looking for an African guy in Krakow, I dated [73]

Kasia, I am sorry some people have said hurtful things or been unhelpful. I know you want to find this man, to tell him about the baby.

You wrote that he did not say much about his personal life. Can you think back to the times you met him and anything he did say, or anything else about him, that could give you any clues about where you might find him? It seems to me that this is the best hope, if you have no contact details for him. For instance, I assume you know his name. This could give a clue to his nationality. His age could indicate whether he might be a student. Being crude about things, you slept with him, so you know whether he is circumcised. If he is, he may well be from a Muslim country or area in French-speaking Africa, which also narrows things down. He may have told you about his career or occupation or provided you with some information indicating his home town or city.

Finally, did you meet him with anyone else who might still be in Krakow and that you could track down? Did you go to particular bars, cafes or restaurants, and do you know where he was staying? You could go back to those places and try talking to the people there to see whether they know how to get hold of him.

IMO anyone who has a relationship with a Polish woman is privileged; to have a baby with one is a true blessing. I'm sure he'll be grateful for your attempts to find him. Good luck :-)

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Paulina, kudos to you for demolishing kondizor's flawed logic; I hadn't realised that the author he quoted makes Dubya seem left-wing (and sane!). It isn't the first time a woman on this thread has undermined one of the more extreme misogynist's arguments. Given their tendency to assume that one example stands for all, hopefully they are now beginning to consider the possibility that women may be intellectually superior to them, and therefore, by their own imperfect logic, to men generally.

I like your argument that women alter their behaviour to be more like men, for instance by wearing trousers, whereas men don't act correspondingly by wearing skirts and dresses. Likewise women increasingly seek to have lifestyles and do jobs that were once seen as 'male', whereas the opposite (men who are happy to be homemakers and full-time carers for their children) are rare. I think this may in part be because sexist society has ascribed higher status to the traditionally male and lower status to the female. And it occurs to me that one of the reasons why some men fear feminism is because of their own insecurity - they can only define themselves by their roles as heads of households, main breadwinners or people who do certain kinds of jobs, and they fear that emboldened women will take this away from them, just as, by wearing trousers, they have eliminated an element of sartorial difference.

One possible solution, I think, is to reassure such men that women don't want greater freedoms at men's expense, and also to ask them to consider whether there are other ways that we can define ourselves and measure our success as human beings.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

OK, I'll phrase it differently. I believe that a matrist society is more productive and pleasant for people generally to live in.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

Kondzior, having read the link you posted about patrist vs matrist societies, I would much rather live in the latter. Does that make me a fool who has been feminised by man-hating feminists? Or just someone who prefers civilised and democratic values?

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

Polonius, I don't think anyone is denying that the optimum environment for a child is to be with two parents who love one another and their child very much, and who are both well-balanced and altruistic. However, there is a big gap between this and a blanket belief that parents must stay together no matter what. Would you suggest a child is better off with both parents when one of them is physically violent, a sex abuser, an alcoholic, a criminal or for some other reason a disruptive influence?

In such situations, one protective parent may be better than being with two parents, one of whom makes the child unhappy, even if we overlook the argument that the parent who isn't to blame is him or herself also entitled to a happy life.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

If they did so despite men being better suited to caring for the children, that would be direct discrimination. But you haven't demonstrated that they are acting unfairly. It may well be that in most cases the judges are making women the principal carers because of the children's wishes or because they are better suited to it, or both.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

Nile, are you seriously suggesting that bias in society against women exists only in theory?

There are many kinds of discrimination against women. Paulina cited some examples based either on culture (for instance, clitoridectomy, selective abortion) or on law (being sold into marriage, loss of children after divorce, lack of free movement). These still exist in many developing nations.

There is also indirect discrimination, that is to say situations in which women have equality before the law, but not in practice. I would suggest that this situation applies still in most developed countries, including the UK. I don't know the situation in Poland well enough to comment but suspect that it is not much different to the UK. Here, women tend on average to earn less than men, largely because of the compromises they have to make between work and family responsibilities that can lead them into low-status part-time work or discourage them from taking senior positions that entail poor work-life balance. There may also be cultural disadvantages, for instance the continuing existence of crimes such as rape and domestic violence that disproportionately affect women.

To deal with such problems, feminists advocate policies aimed at leading to a fairer society. Sometimes these can look like discrimination to a few paranoid men who are determined to find it - for instance, funding refuges for abused women more generously than ones for abused men, or offering women paid maternity leave but not extending the same terms to men - but until the obvious imbalances in society are resolved, I cannot see how we men can legitimately complain. After all, most of us are (or aspire to be) the partners of women. Why wouldn't we support initiatives to improve their lot?

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Paulina, statutory maternity pay is paid by the state to the employer, to pass on to the employee. Employers can choose to top it up from the standard SMP rate to the woman's normal salary if they wish, as an incentive to attract and retain female employees. But if they choose to pay standard SMP employers are not out of pocket when a woman goes on maternity leave, thereby reducing any concerns they might have about employing women of child-bearing age.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Polonius3, you suggest the state should pick up part of the salary costs for women who are on maternity leave. I'm not sure whether you live I Poland or somewhere else, or whether such a scheme Iain operatin wherever it is that you live. But where I am, the UK, we do indeed have such a scheme. It's called Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP). If there isn't a similar provision in your country, perhaps you would care took forces with the nation's feminists to campaign for one? Who knows, you might even choose to attend their next meet-up to see whether they have any other good initiatives you could support...

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Paulina and Rozumiemnic, thanks for your kind comments - and apologies for some of the dinosaurs still roaming theEarth :-)

@ Foreigner4, you come across as very bitter. What have feminists, or women, ever done to you?

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Paulina, all the injustices you've listed pi$$ me off too. And what pi$$es me off almost as much is people who don't give a fcuk about these horrors, or deny they even happen, and call themselves men. What kind of man could possibly accept mistreatment of women?

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Foreigner4, as I've said several times, you and other anti-feminists have provided some examples of some people who have made statements or advocated policies, in the name of feminism, that could appear extreme or anti-male. Absolutely. I don't deny it. But as I've explained, also several times, there is no official 'membership list' for feminism and no criteria for inclusion or exclusion, and most feminists would not agree with the examples that have been cited.

Your main criticism of feminism seems to be that women have already achieved equality and what they are pushing for now is privileged treatment for women, at women's expense. With respect, you live in a different world than most of us if you think women have the best deal currently, overall, compared with men.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

+1

Foreigner4, Zimmy, Kondzior and others, you surely can't disagree with these principles, can you? Or do you seriously think women are inferior and should be oppressed?

As Paulina says, plenty of men want equality for women. In fact, I'd suggest it's impossible to be a straight man with any kind of feelings for women without wanting it. How can you profess to love someone while also looking down on her or wanting her to be without rights or respect?

Love / Adultery- Is it ok for Polish women [41]

I'm surprised that a man lucky enough to be dating or married to a Polish woman would want to be unfaithful.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Zimmy, you ask why I haven't responded to the various extreme statements made by feminists that you've provided links to on this site. The reason is straightforward: I have pointed out that there are a huge number of people who call themselves feminists, and they don't all agree about everything. The cases you've highlighted are extreme, and most feminists do not agree with the views expressed. Also, bear on mind that the media tend to focus on these examples and as a result feminism is sometimes stigmatised, to the extent that some women are uncomfortable with the feminist label, even though they are strong advocates for gender equality.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]


The best kind of woman :-).


I found your description of your mother's story very touching. She deserves her new life; I hope she is happy now :-).

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]


OK... so those of us who've grown up in Western democracies have a shrivelled walnut for part of the brain, resulting in us becoming left-wing liberals and our societies floundering, whereas people who grew up with privations under communism grow stronger and eventually take over the world?

I don't know whether Stalin and his successors shared your shrivelled-brain theory, but when communism and capitalism last went head to head in the West, the obese, flatulent Americans beat the emaciated Russians based on the innate superiority of their economic system. We in the UK, and you in Poland, never really bought into the extremes of either ideology, but nowadays are finding a consensus in social democracy, which is probably the best compromise between incentives to produce and a humanitarian safety net.

Meanwhile, in Asia, many North Koreans are stunted due to a lack of food (their corpulent leader and his cronies aside), while those in the South have as many Maccy Ds and KFCs as they can keep down. They also have one of the most productive economies in the world, which has given them huge successes in industries such as shipbuilding and, increasingly, consumer electronics. Do they all have shrunken brains?

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]


In that case, I'm definitely a feminist :-).

Seriously, any man who doesn't see the need to share the domestic duties doesn't deserve to share his life with a woman. And if that's the case he'll have to do all the work, not just half. And also be very lonely.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

I've been doing some background reading into feminism in Poland. It seems that attitudes to the concept may be affected for some by the country's history, ie some people don't like feminism because they associate it with communism, the pre-1989 era and the notion of forcing women to work while they have young children, or to do jobs they didn't want to equalise the numbers.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this but I wonder whether this explains some of the antipathy? Equally, I'm conscious that feminism in the Anglo-American world has been associated with individualism, which may explain why some of us are in favour of it, without ascribing to left-wing ideals.

Could there be some truth in my theory? Or is it baloney? I'd be intrigued to know who here is from where. I'll go first: as my username suggests, I'm British.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ f stop, I like your sentence too :-). And I think you are right. While men may have more muscular strength (on average), women are stronger in other ways. You've suggested greater emotional strength; I'd add greater ability to withstand pain, lower susceptibility to genetic diseases, less inclined toward self-destructive activities, and longer-living.

@ kondzior, I don't think it's accurate to imply that all feminists are leftists. I support many aspects of feminist thinking, despite being broadly right of centre. I'm a libertarian who believes that the job of the state is to create an environment in which everyone can maximise her or his potential, and it seems to me self-evident that this requires the elimination of barriers where expel from specific groups face unequal treatment or opportunities.

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]

@ Jon: 'Even straight women can make good soldiers'. So women who want to go into the army are probably gay?

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]


'Total doom'? Are you sure your misogyny isn't tripping over into paranoia here?

Bear in mind the importance of averages. Yes, the average man is stronger than the average woman, but the strongest women are a lot stronger than the weakest men. So there are plenty of women with sufficient strength to perform the most physically demanding roles in the military, and plenty of men who lack it.

Also, we get our (on average) greater physical strength from our higher testosterone levels. Testosterone is also associated with aggression. Contrary to initial appearances, aggression is not a valued commodity in the armed forces, because it leads to impaired judgement. Nothing is more highly valued in the forces than being able to keep a calm head in a crisis.

And finally, as f stop has pointed out, the true victors in war are those who are smart enough to avoid it. Consider how many wars have taken place in history, the terrible consequences not only for the immediate victims and their families but also in terms of the resources that could have been deployed improving human civilization. Almost all of those wars were made by men, not women. And you still think we're superior?

Life / Professional feminists' of Poland meet-up [631]


I assume if you're ever unfortunate enough to get leukemia you won't be availing yourself of the cure developed by a Polish woman. She's female, so it couldn't possibly be as good as a treatment developed by a man, right?