Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]


That's not really a judgement, Paulina. That's a fact. Young people in the UK today remain 'children' a lot longer these days despite the surface maturity and sophistication, than the generations who left school at sixteen and started working. The OP may feel that if she doesn't have some kind of help from her parents, she can't do it. I know she can. It was an affirmation, not a judgement.

Anyway, moral and legal expectations are two different things. Kids have a moral right to expect that their parents will do what they can to help them, but in the UK there is no law that states parents have to fund their adult child's study. It's only because of the family support law in Poland that the question even arises. I wonder what she would do if she were a Brit?


OP has an interesting username. Wonder if she's read 'I'm OK, You're OK'.

Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]


And you didn't get any. I'm a grown woman, giving you a piece of, shall we call it, motherly advice, which seems to be conspicuous by its absence in your life at present. Clearly money isn't the only thing your parents left you short of. Some training in basic manners wouldn't have gone amiss either.

It will serve you far better in life, if you learn to reject unwanted advice, given out of normal human concern for a young person in crisis, with more grace and courtesy than you demonstrate presently.

As Oscar Wilde so perspicaciously said, 'youth is wasted on the young'.

Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]

Ok, here's my take on things. Quite apart from the financial need you're in, you may feel very hurt by the actions of both your biological parents. But you mustn't let that preoccupy you or consume you. You need to deal with life the way it is, not the way it might have been, should have been, should be. It is what it is. With respect, your dad sounds like a waste of time in terms of helping you out. He doesn't want to know.

Move on with your life. You have youth, health and intelligence. Years ago, when there were no grants or subsidies for third level education tens of thousands of young, working class people from families with no money to spare, put themselves through university, working full-time and going to college in the evenings or weekends. Your generation has grown up with more of a sense of entitlement and an expectation that parents will at least partially fund your education. But you can do it yourself. Like I said before, it takes longer, and it's not easy but it can be done. Be independent and in a few years you'll be proud of what you've achieved.

Your uni probably has some kind of counselling service for students. Find somebody to talk to about what you're going through and also look at any other support organisations in your area. The more people you talk to you the more likely you are to find help. It may not be financial help, but you need some emotional support too, as you feel a bit sidelined by your mother due to her second family and rejected by your dad. That's very tough for you to deal with.

There may be a way of changing your study path that will be easier emotionally and financially, so do consider that.

I really wish you the best of luck with everything.

Food / Taste of food in Poland vs other countries [188]


No, it is just a cultural difference. People have been heating plates in the British Isles since long before microwaves. You have to be careful with bone china, but stuff like delft could go into the oven, gas or electric, on a low heat and come to no harm. Our everyday dinner service was made from something similar to bone china but not quite as fragile. That could be heated in the oven, no problem. It was pretty old too. Was probably made in the 1930s. You just warm them gently, you don't put them in on a blazing heat.

Food / Taste of food in Poland vs other countries [188]

Be careful of your esophagus. I remember reading that, I think it was Turks, maybe Arabs in general, have a higher rate of cancer of the esophagus and there was a link to drinking very hot tea.

Food / Taste of food in Poland vs other countries [188]

Jon, do you remember when you were a kid, having to wait for the food to cool, it was so hot - and being told to take it from around the edge of plate??

Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]


Is that a typo? Surely you don't have two kids at nineteen years of age.

As you're very young and only in the second year of your studies, would it be possible to change to a part-time degree? That would give you more time for studying and ease the financial burden perhaps? It would take a bit longer but you have time on your side. As for your advanced degree, you shouldn't go straight into a Masters anyway after your undergrad. Get some experience under your belt in your field and a bit of money saved up.


Yes. You have an entitlement to sue for support as an adult child if you are studying. However getting him to pay, if you get a judgement in your favour, is another matter. Could he afford it? Whatever he earns, divide it by six to get the sterling amount.

Food / Taste of food in Poland vs other countries [188]


We always did that when I was a child. As you say, the methods varied, usually in the oven in our house. Food served on unheated plates was considered as an example of lazy/shoddy housekeeping. If you visited somebody's house and the dinner was served on a cold plate there would be raised eyebrows.

Life / Polish authors, books & literature. [125]

In the words of Samuel Beckett:

"You must go on. I can't go on. I'll go on."

That's life in a nutshell.

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]


There are still loads of them in Ireland despite closures. There were more than you'd need really. There was one town not that many years ago with a population of 1,500 people and fifty pubs!


Yes, I should think so :)

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]


Well, the true pub culture is uniquely Irish and British. It's a place where people of all ages gather and interact. It's very sociable and falling into conversation with a complete stranger is the norm. In Ireland anyway, if you've been socializing with a group of people all evening and they are going on somewhere else you'll be included by default unless they really don't like you - but you'd never guess that they don't like you.;)

It's because of the history of how these places started. They were always places where strangers stopped on their way while travelling and mingled with the local community. The oldest pub in Europe is in Ireland, it's been trading as a pub for over a thousand years. The Irish pub has its origins well over a thousand years ago, in the 'bruidean' which was the local Chieftain's brewery and by Irish law of the time it had to be located at the crossroads and open to all strangers, twenty-four hours a day. The law was also very specific about the provision of musical entertainment - thus it's still very common today to have live music in the pub.


Well then why would you expect anyone to perceive you as a 'plastic Paddy'? We're not really that bothered about Irish-Americans. As far as we're concerned you're just Americans with Irish ancestry.

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]


Of course not. We're used to American tourists who call themselves Irish and we'd never be rude to them or hurt their feelings.

Limerick is considered a very rough town btw - it used to be called Stab City. But Irish people are good-natured on the whole, even when they're rough around the edges.

Being adopted by a group when you visit the pub as a stranger is fairly common in Ireland and going back to someone's house after the pub for tea and sandwiches is the norm :))

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]


So you say - and I remember responding that from the description you gave of your visits to relatives, they must be a rough lot. Where exactly have you been in Ireland - and don't say 'Dublin'. What part of Dublin? Details of these trips and how you've come away with these impressions. The average pub in Dublin is not especially rowdy or full of drunks. It's usually noisy because being able to have a chat is a very important part of pub culture and it's usually very crowded but not the kind of mayhem that you seem to imagine. This is fairly typical:




I said nobody is drunk at the parade. I didn't say that people don't drink or go to the pub. Some do. Mostly the younger ones. Most Irish people stay home on Paddy's Day and just relax.

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]


Nobody at the parade is drunk. It starts at about 11 in the morning and is over by around 2 in the afternoon. It's attended mostly by families with kids, people who live in or near the city centre and foreigners.

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]

Wizard of Oz, everything was green. I still have a book from my childhood that included an extract from the Wizard of Oz and all the illustrations were green. I thought the whole thing sounded lovely even though green wasn't a particularly favourite colour of mine. Like most five year old girls I favoured pink.

The yellow brick road is in the Wizard of Oz though.

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]


Corned beef Irish style is a very simple dish, cooked in a very simple way. You won't find any elaborate recipes. The recipe I linked you to is by Darina Allen is about as authentic as any you'll find. She collected many old family recipes from elderly people when she was writing her cookbook on traditional Irish food.


Sorry Joker, I'd rather not! As a spectacle in is own right I'm sure it's fine, if you're into that kind of thing, but as an Irish person I find things like dyeing rivers and drinks green weird and cringeworthy.

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]

I linked you to a recipe already Johnny. Hope y'all have good eatin' !! Smacznego!

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]

I'm sure it would be bardzo smaczne :))

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]

Well, it's an unusual idea, but it could work. If you make a sauce from them, the sweetness with the saltiness of the corned beef might be good.

You don't have to give up meat for Lent. In Ireland booze and fags is the usual - or chocolate. I once gave up chocolate for Lent. It was torture. I was so looking forward to Easter Sunday and I had my lovely Cadburys Buttons egg all ready. Then the big day arrived and I found that I wasn't in the mood for chocolate!! I forced myself to eat some of it anyway :)) and I was soon cured. Back to a bar a day :)

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]

Why? It's not Good Friday. Or do you mean because it's Lent now?


It's nice in pasztet and you can make sauce from it - what does this have to do with Johnny's corned beef brisket?

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]

Ah, mother of God, Ironsides! Firstly, he isn't a Catholic and secondly even if he were, it would be up to the Bishop of the Diocese where he lives as to whether he can eat meat or not. When I was a kid in Ireland, we could eat meat on Fridays, lots of people kept the fish on a Friday tradition though because the fish and chips from the 'chipper' was so delicious and it gave the lady of the house a break from cooking.

UK, Ireland / Corned beef & Cabbage are typically Irish? [98]


Here I am.


I wouldn't advise it. That's a recipe for regular beef brisket, the seasonings wouldn't work very well with corned beef.

Jon has given you the right advice. It has to be simmered in a pot of water. Here's how it's done in Ireland:

irishexaminer.com/food/arid-10060942.html

Travel / What are the best countries to live in? [161]

Ireland without a doubt :)

Tuesday night, Stag's Head Pub, Dublin, there's just nowhere like Ireland:

UK, Ireland / Is it good for Poland as Sinn Fein will win today in Northen Ireland [282]


Well actually, I didn't. I was merely responding to one of Pollyanna's all-too-frequent misconceptions.

UK, Ireland / Is it good for Poland as Sinn Fein will win today in Northen Ireland [282]


"Where there is love there is no labour and where there is labour, the labour is loved."


You mean: 'You knew perfectly well whom you were marrying' :)) oh venerableTeacher of English.

Now, now, just because I'm a happy, well-balanced person and the rest of you are a bunch of malcontents, you're spewing out the sour grapes.


"Turning sliver out of dark grasses
Where the skylark had lain,
And her voice coming softly over the meadow
Was the mist becoming rain."

UK, Ireland / Is it good for Poland as Sinn Fein will win today in Northen Ireland [282]


Actually I quite like Warsaw. I'm just sharing my observations about how people in Poland differ from Ireland. But I've got used to you now :)

UK, Ireland / Is it good for Poland as Sinn Fein will win today in Northen Ireland [282]


Now! There it is! A perfect example of the nasty, mean-spirited attitude that prevails amongst so many Polish people - even though you're only a plastic Pole, or perhaps even because of that very fact.


And again - what a pitiful excuse of a society, if that is the prevailing attitude.

Thanks for proving my point Pollyanna :)

UK, Ireland / Is it good for Poland as Sinn Fein will win today in Northen Ireland [282]


I know the truth hurts Paw :)

UK, Ireland / Is it good for Poland as Sinn Fein will win today in Northen Ireland [282]


Yes, I know but I lived in London and I didn't see quite such callousness and disconnectedness there as in Warsaw - and of course I found myself comparing Warsaw to Dublin and you can't really compare two such different places. I was just fairly shocked that in a so-called Catholic country like Poland, nobody seemed to give a toss about anyone, whereas in Ireland, as Catholics, we were actively brought up to help others at every opportunity. That didn't seem to be part of the culture here in Poland at all.

You're right that it's improving. It's just that it feels a bit 'forced' and self-conscious.

UK, Ireland / Is it good for Poland as Sinn Fein will win today in Northen Ireland [282]


That's not what I'm referring to at all. Polish people are lacking in compassion for their own. I was really shocked when I first lived in Warsaw and saw the lack of social capital. Jon will know what I'm talking about. I was on the tram one day and saw an elderly man on the street, clearly very unwell, looked as if he was about to collapse, and nobody gave him a second glance. Utterly callous, heartless and unfeeling. I've helped many an elderly person whom I've seen struggling with walking sticks and heavy shopping. I said to one old lady that I was sorry I didn't speak good Polish and she replied 'You may not have good Polish but you have a good heart'.


I'm not remotely woke. As I've told you before 'wokes' don't do fabulous impersonations of Nigerians - or Indians. Here's the script for the Nigerian guy.

"Ah am wantin' to deevoss ma wife in LaGOS and marree ma Polish girlFRIEND." The emphasis on those syllables is very important to get the accent right.

I also have no patience with those who can't decide if they're Martha or Arthur. Basically I'm old-school. LG and B, plus the good old straight-forward trannies who go down the pub for a few drinks wearing their wife's skirt, I can deal with that. (except when they have facial hair, that's too weird, a beard and a skirt). But all that non-binary malarkey is a step too far.

Unfortunately you are too bereft of imagination to grasp the complexity that is Atch :))

Anyway I have Gołąbki to make so I must say farewell for now.


So many of the Protestant Anglo-Irish were an absolute asset to our country, true Irishmen and true patriots. Great men and women and such an important part of our history.


According to Ruth Dudley Edwards. She's what's known in Ireland as a West-Brit. She was quite a respected writer in her day. I read her biography of Patrick Pearse when I was sixteen. Enjoyed it. I was researching an essay. Won a prize from the Old Dublin Society for it! She seems to have gone a bit bats now. She's nearly eighty so she's just a bit of an elderly eccentric at this stage.

@Alien, no, you're wrong there.