What are common Polish character traits?

Guys give this woman a break. I'll probably be warned again for being off-topic but being a decent human being is more important than rules and regulations. She's widowed, she's had cancer, cut her a bit of slack.

Yes. I know a few people who've said exactly the same thing about Poland. One minute someone is contacting you all the time and it can seem a bit intense, the next minute they vanish.

Absolutely, Jon! I even know someone who left Warsaw last year and who has cut most of his contacts in Warsaw... Does it make sense? A few weeks before leaving town, he was telling me about someone he considered like a brother and after the guy left Warsaw, I found out (from people knowing him and me) that he had ceased his relationship with the guy he considered like his brother. Logical????

Yes, we are in the very best terms and then one day, impossible to get hold of them as they don't answer our calls, our messages and should we by chance meet them on the street (it has happened to me), they are so .... "delightful to see us again, they were thinking about us but they were so buuuuuuuuuuuusy that they could not answer". Hel...., how long does it take to answer a message?

As said, I have never had anything like that among other nationalities. Being insulted by trolls and other "mal-bai...s" won't change reality that MANY Poles are rude and not respectful of others.

Anyway, I don't function like that and I'm proud of it. Fortunately I was raised in better ways that the PF insulting racist mob. Once I like someone, I am loyal for ever.... ;).

Wow, the great mistery solved lol They moved to another city. Now, my question is - did they suddenly stop answering your messages and answering your calls the minute they set their feet on the soil of those other cities or it did happen gradually over time?

As I wrote before, I myself have problems with keeping in touch with people that moved abroad, for example. It's also more difficult to sustain a relationship even when someone is living in another city in the country. Such ties get "relaxed" over time and often they die a natural death. That's nothing surprising for me and nothing unusual in my opinion and I somehow doubt it's a specifically "Polish trait" and not a general "human trait".

My best friend from high school, for example, right after finishing high school moved to Paris to study art at the Sorbonne, because she loved art and French language and culture and it was her dream. For me it was a bit of a blow and I missed her a lot at first and we would write a lot to each other initially, letters and then e-mails and we would meet when she was coming to visit Poland but during a few years we both would write less and less frequently and at some point the contact just died. I was very busy with my studies, I've met my next best friend and other friends at the uni - life got in the way, as I wrote earlier. I can imagine the same happened to her.


That's something I don't entirely understand. If you were friends then how come you don't know where they are? You don't know where they live, where they work?


That's something I'm trying to determine :) It doesn't happen to me, it doesn't happen to people that I know - so it's logical to look for different theories.

It was dolnoslask, not Roger5 and he wrote it happens to him from time to time and that those people usually show up when they need money. Which brings me to the conclusion that they aren't really his friends, that's a no-brainer really.


Not sure how the comment about cleaning toilets was necessary - if you wanted to show your superiority to economic migrants from Poland then that's just low :)

Now, tell me - which countries and for how long?
Also, how people end friendships and acquaintanceships in your country and in the countries you lived in? Do they write long e-mails explaining why they are terminating their relations? Do you meet over a coffee and say something like: "Listen, here's the thing, I don't feel like hanging out with you anymore, I have more interesting friends now and/or just don't have the time for you, etc., sorry"?


As I already wrote, for those Poles not answering your messages may be the nicer way, in their view, of ditching you than telling you: "I don't want to hang out with you anymore, stop bothering me."


If you're asking whether such word exists, then yes - it does :) And there's nothing paranoid about it - one can be prejudiced against any ethnicity, including Polish one.


It doesn't change a thing, in my opinion, a person can be prejudiced, chauvinistic, etc. even if married to a Pole or any other ethnicity. It's weird, I know, but I've seen it before. It's a bit like a racist person claiming he's/she's not racist because he/she has a black friend while writing clearly prejudiced comments. Sorry, but that's just not enough for me. Don't hide behind your family, it doesn't work for me.


Why is that? Only you can be a "lecturer" on this forum? Noone can "lecture" you, hmm? :)


It's rich coming from one of the most judgemental people on this forum. Not pleasant when it's happening to you, huh? :) I'm "judging" people in the same way as others do that on this forum, including you, based on their comments - for example, when you're calling people "racist mob" you're judging them while knowing NOTHING about their lives, right?


I simply provided you with a few theories (some more serious ones, some not so much :)) based on the info you provided and your character traits you display constantly on this forum.

And I must say I find it hard to accept the assessment of the level of my intelligence from someone who claims that 99% of Poles think that black people are apes :)


The thing is, InPolska, that you were called a chauvinist (or a xenophobe, I don't remember exactly) by TheOther who's an Australian with German roots living in the US, who spent most of his life living in different countries and who isn't a racist nor a Pole. I've also seen you being criticised quite a few times by non-racist non-Poles on this forum. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to look in the mirror from time to time? Or are you just too perfect fot that? :)


YES, I knew it! lol Your husband was "different", of course :) Prejudiced people always say that, btw. "I have a black friend, but he's different, you know, and the rest of them... well... you know..." etc. :)


I'm sure there are Poles like that, but there's also the opposite side - Westerners for whom Poles just have to be the worst kind of people on the whole planet. I'm not kidding - the whole planet - it's like everything bad about humans is specific to Poles :)


I know, I was told the same thing by Russian nationalists who seemed to be pretty obsessed with Poland and Poles and at the same time they claimed they don't give a sh1t :) ;)


Well, you can bury your head in the sand if you wish, it's your choice, of course, if you prefer only to be patted on the back all the time and when people only agree with you, etc. But it's a public internet forum, so you must be prepared that people won't share your opinions, views, etc.

I also don't see anything "hysterical" about my post (feel free to quote the "hysterical" parts).


Paranoia concerning what exactly?


Aren't we discussing just that - common Polish character traits (at least as viewed by InPolska)?


I know, but I'm trying to make some people realise that they behave in the same way that racists, anti-Semites, etc. behave. That they're being hypocrites.

They accuse Poles of being "rude" because cashiers aren't smiling at them and at the same time - look at what they are writing about Poland and Poles behind their backs. I don't mean some founded criticism but the shear contempt verging sometimes on hate, some absoultely moronic generalisations like that "99% of Poles think that black people are apes". It's just mind-boggling for me.


Nor do I (not anymore, that is), I'm just trying to make some people look in the mirror.


Yes, me too, but that's changing, I think. I changed myself in that respect - after I actually got to know those foreigners and realised they are no better than Poles.


I hope so, but we'll see about that :)


My thoughts exactly.


So when I'll start telling on a forum about my personal problems, including my health problems, I'll be cut a slack too? lol

I don't see how her loss of a husband (I guess it didn't happen yesterday, did it) or her past health problems justify her often outrageous behaviour on this forum? Noone forces her to come here and write ridiculous stuff like "99% of Poles think that black people are apes". Also, noone here seems to care much about what Poles have been through over the years when they're passing their judgements, etc. People don't cut any slack here, so why should we, right?

What I've learned on this forum about Westerners is that there's no point in being nice to them, you're just going to be considered "thin-skinned", "oversensitive", etc. So I use their ways in order to get to them - one has to simply "hammer" stuff into their heads, apparently :P


Well, yes, it actually does make sense, especially if those were some loose contacts, acquaintances. Of course, the question is whether this happened suddenly or over a period of time, whether those people were close with each other, etc.


It depends on the circumstances. Did it happen suddenly or over a period of time? Plus, even brothers can fall out. There are members of family in this world that don't even speak to each other lol

And, OMG, not all relationships last forever. Sometimes they simply... end :P


When you have many friends and acquaintances? Sometimes quite a bit :) But I think they were trying to be polite. What were they supposed to say? That they didn't answer because they didn't feel like it and they wanted you to leave them alone and stop bothering them?


Yes, yes, you've made it clear many times how superior you are to Poles and how proud of it you are lol You also seem to feel some great need to share those feelings of superiority and pride with us on this forum :)


Are you saying that you're still loyal to your friends from kindergarten? ;D Come on...

Well now firstly she's not outrageous. She says a few things that are a bit over the top at times. She comes across at times as patronising, superior, self satisified and often contradicts herself but she's not a bad old stick really. She's emotional, impulsive and too quick to respond at times without really thinking about what she's saying but so what......

She definitely wasn't looking for sympathy regarding her health. She only mentioned it in passing in a discussion about food and diet.

As for your comments about her husband, quite frankly, it is you who are outrageous. Do you really think that the pain of losing someone you love can be measured in such simple terms. My own mother died six years ago and I still get tearful sometimes when I think or talk about her. I still love her you see Paulina and I miss her presence in my life in a thousand small ways.

It's about having empathy Paulina, for others and realising that not everyone is just occupying a fake 'character' on the internet but that the people behind the posts are real, flesh and blood human beings.

Well the kitchen is mainly finished,

But shock horror I have an update, I once said that the best way to get rid of an annoying "Polish friend " was to lend him 100zl, well last night he turned up at 9pm.

He said that he had not forgotten about the 100zl he owed me, and he said that he would come next friday and pay me back the money whoopee (NOT).

Then he said he has a favor to ask!, he wanted me to run him to the local town to buy vodka and fags, I said I can't because I had drunk some wine and I do not drink and drive.

I suggested he asks a neighbor nearby where he was doing some work to see if he would give him a lift.

Five minutes later he is back on my doorstep asking me for a cigarette , I gave him a pack of twenty, he offered me money, but to be honest i didn't care, I didn't want his money.

This is the guy who two months earlier had told me that he was my best friend in Poland and he was not like the others (his words) and he would not cheat or use me.

I think that a common trait in the Polish character is alcoholism, I think that this is the root cause of many problems in Poland today. Sadly I also saw this in the Polish ex pat community in the uk as far back as the earlry 70's so I dont think it has anything to do with the communist occupation of Poland.

Anyway I am going back to the uk for a week, so my best friend can knock on my door with the 100zl as hard as he wants I won't be here.

Just to add my wife and I were trying to fix the driveway gates this morning (Sunday 11am) we heard loud voices and we immediately ducked down behind the garden fence knowing full well the guys were going to be ******, we just dont want to talk to them, they just want to cadge the next drink or cigarette from us. true to form they were ****** zig zagging up the lane shouting at each other. No worries we still love it here in Poland.

[quote=dolnoslask]I think that a common trait in the Polish character is alcoholism, I think that this is the root cause of many problems in Poland today.

Delph you have a very good point it's not a trait maybe more a "tolerance of alcoholism?", the truth is it destroys families, and the lives of many individuals. I think here in Poland it is a badge of honor as to how much you can drink, matching your friends shot for shot.

I think so, sadly. It's horrific to watch - when you combine it with the idiotic mentality that "it's not cool to report someone to the police", then it's a licence for stupid behaviour. I've phoned the police... I don't know, 4 or 5 times on drunk drivers, and I wish more people would do it.

I must admit, Drink driving and the insane driving habits are the two things I would want to see changed in Poland, last holiday (grave cleaning day) friday to sunday 30 people were killed and 200 were injured on the roads, its like a mini terrorist attack. it is all about education that's all.

Drinking problem can be bad in Poland but as long as we drink less than people in Scotland that are called "p1ss-heads" in England, Poland should be ok.

Yes, I'm aware that you have little knowledge of what's actually happening in Poland Wulkan, but you don't have to make that clear in every single thread.


Yes, exactly. It should be rammed into people's heads that it's not cool to let friends/family drink drive, and there should be a special phone number for reporting drink driving. In Poznań, the police are *always* checking people on All Saints near the graveyards, and yet endless idiots get caught drunk. I don't understand it.

Back in the 70's in the uk it was acceptable to drink and drive, but there was a very strong advertising campaign that succeeded in changing this mindset, over probably a ten year period, maybe Poland has to catch up in this respect.

People are fully aware of that in Poland, I've seen cases of people being let driving in England while drunk. More to that I was asked by a group of English men to give them a lift when they knew I was drunk.


Guess what, I came to the UK in 2004 so it's quite after 70's and people still drink and drive here.

What's interesting is that it's not a problem with enforcement (at least here, they do blanket checks - they stop every car and quickly check them) - but it's changing the whole culture of drink driving that matters. There are still way, way, way too many people that think that it's acceptable to have a few drinks and then drive home - or even worse, people who tolerate getting into a car with a drunk driver.

Yep, there are idiots everywhere


But those guys heard a clear "No" and had to order the taxi for themselves

Her comments often are outrageous, to the point of being moronic. Her claim that 99% of Poles think that black people are apes is just one of the examples (I picked the most ridiculous one). What irritates me the most about her (together with all the loudest, most judgemental and self-righteous Western fighters for tolerance on PF) is her hypocrisy. She's against generalising about Muslims and other groups with "special protection status" in the West, but she herself is making the most ridiculous generalisations I've seen on the internet (about Poles and not only).


"But so what..." lol

So, if I start behaving like her and writing stuff like "99% of Jews think that Arabs are apes" (a nod to Naftali Bennett) I will be excused by you?

Or is it OK to write just anything about Poles, no matter how untrue and outrageous it is? Because it's about Poles, so who cares, right?


That's right, it was you who told people here to "give this woman a break". And I don't understand why. You think she's the only one on this forum who has someone burried in Poland and who had or has health problems? Why would she get a preferential treatment?


Why? Is she supposed to not to be criticised for anything on this forum because her husband passed away at some point in her life? Are you serious?


I understand that perfectly, but what does it have to do with a claim that 99% of Poles think that black people are apes made by her? Or her looking down on Polish and Eastern European women, for example?


Yes, thank you, Atch. Empathy towards Poles is something that quite a few Westerners were (and some still are) lacking over the years on this forum, in my opinion.

People seem to forget too often here that Poles are real, flesh and blood human beings, just like Muslims, just like Jews, just like blacks, etc.

It's not pleasant to be on the receiving end of the non-empathic comments, believe me.
I'm nice towards nice people and judgemental towards judgemental people. She's honest about what she thinks about Poles and I was honest about what I think about her (I haven't offended her husband in any way and I'm not going to write ridiculous, generalising comments about the French because of her). Nothing more.

She's not in her early teens, Atch (and that's what I thought when I first started reading her comments), she's apparently much older than I am, well-travelled, she should know better, she should realise what she's writing, she's not a kid that could be excused and so I see no reason to treat her like a child with "special needs". She does have fits of sanity and even wisdom, but for the rest of the time her behaviour is unacceptable for me, especially considering how judgemental and full of herself she is.

She didn't even retract any of her ridiculous comments, like the one I'm quoting all the time (in the hope that maybe she would understand her error and back out of it).

So how am I supposed to treat her seriously?


The fact that he said that doesn't mean that he is, clearly lol

Repair work on Sunday morning, the Lord's Day?! That's almost as bad (maybe a bit less noisy but just as disrespectful) as the idiots who rev up their power mowers on Sunday morning.

Paulina, goodness me, you're in a right old state aren't you?


But no more so than loads of other posters on this forum including some Poles. What about our friend Ktos for example?


We all bring our own 'issues' (awful word but useful) to discussions. InPolska has hers as a result of her life experience and you have yours, the above statement being an example. You feel strongly that Poles are disrespected in some way here on this forum and probably in general too. You're extremely touchy and quick to pick up on anything you perceive as anti-Polish.


No, but your comment was dismissive of another human being's pain. People say a lot of over the top things on this forum but it's all very superficial. So let's talk about something real.

I don't feel that comfortable discussing another member's personal life but did it occur to you that InPolska's attitudes to Poland and Polish people are coloured by the fact that she settled here because she married a Pole. Then he passed away prematurely. There comes a point where your life is so firmly established in another country that returning to your own is too big and uncertain a step to take and that was probably the case for her. She had to face the loss of her husband and either uproot herself from her life or make the best of things here. That's what she decided to do but I would say that she feels some bitterness towards the hand that life dealt her and is not completely happy with her choice ,so every little irritation that she could ignore or laugh off assumes greater significance for her.

Now InPolska doesn't show much empathy or understanding of others herself, but it has to start with one person. Why can't you be that person? If all human beings would try to see things a bit more from each other's point of view they can move away from pointless arguments that lead nowhere and actually achieve something. I hope you're not really as upset as you sound but being married to a Pole I know how you guys can carry on with the dramatics. I think it's the old blood of Genghis Khan coursing through those Slavic veins......just teasing you, ok, before you have a fit!

Update "My best polish friend" turned up on Sunday night, he had also been round on Friday according to my cctv but I was in the uk doing my Christmas shopping.

He was drunk as a badger and opened his wallet stuffed with 100zl notes and gave me back the money he owed me.

He apologized and said that he had had a bad back and hadn't been working (although i saw him laying a concrete path the other day), he told me that he keeps his word (and he has) and offered to do any work that i needed around the house, only problem is that he is constantly drunk and my wife and i find it awkward to deal with him, my problem is that when he is drunk i can only understand half of what he says.

Shame I would have allot of work for him here but i am too worried that he may hurt himself.do other people here have friends like mine?. Is it common for polish workers to be drunk while working.

It used to be a lot more common. When you have building work done you have to establish a no booze rule before you start work. That way they can't complain if you kick them off the job. We never had any problems when building our place, and on a hot day I'd happily reward the boys with a cold one. You just have to get things clear at the start.

How old is he? We've had men work on our place and they were drinking while they worked but they were all older guys, fifty plus. They definitely weren't drunk, just sipping beer while they got on with their tasks and their work was good. I was mildly astonished but my husband says that drinking beer in hot summer weather and vodka on cold winter days was quite common on building sites as recently as the 1990s so I suppose with people of that vintage (excuse the pun!) it wouldn't be considered odd.

Whether he's Polish or not doesn't really come into it. If you don't feel comfortable having the guy work for you, then that's that.

Pol "Repair work on Sunday morning" we don't work on Sundays (the lords day) but the gatepost had dropped so i needed to get the car out to go to church, everyone here respects Sunday including the non religious types in which case do you think not working on sundaes is a polish trait or a religions obligation

Roger you are right I will talk to him and set out the no boozing and working rule and see how we get on.

Atch, he is only 35, I must admit I do consider excessive boozing as a Polish trait and part of the culture, I am polish and some of my family members would drink to excess, my uncle in warsaw drinks two bottles of vodka every day, my brother has a factory in the uk and the majority of his workers are polish, many of the have alcohol problems some have stomach implants to aid their recovery, many parks in england have groups of polishmen drinking until they fall over.

I have no idea what this means...


Oh, I would say she does stick out among the "fighters for tolerance" with the stupidity and recklessness of her comments, to be honest.

As for Ktos and others like him - they are not fighters for tolerance, they're pretty straightforward about who they are and hence - not hypocrites (and they're usually beyond help anyway, my guess is).

In other words - I expect more from liberals and leftists in the tolerance department, from people advocating tolerance, etc. than from racist, intolerant people.


Are Westerners on PF any less "touchy" and less "quick to pick up on anything they perceive" as racist, anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic, etc, though? Really?

Btw, when there was and there is such need I behaved and behave in the same way when I'm defending Russians against Poles, when I'm criticising Poles on the Polish internet. I guess that's something people here don't realise about me and hence you probably think that I'm some overly patriotic, touchy person :) I'm generally a sensitive person, not only about Poles...


No, I was dismissive of your appeal to give her a break.


OK, Atch, let's talk about something real.
Let's talk, for example, about why I'm so "extremely touchy" and so "quick to pick up" on comments about Polish women on this forum. I see you registered not long ago, so maybe you don't know what was going on this forum before. What was written here about Polish women. Things like that being prostitutes is a "character trait" of Polish women and similar stuff. I guess you would probably say that those were just some "over the top things" and that it was "all very superficial". But those men who wrote those things could be one of those men that my friends told me about.

You see, I have female Polish friends and acquaintances, my age and younger, who worked in the West and most of them experienced sexual harassment and vulgar, offensive name calling by Western men when they were over there. No, none of them were prostitutes, in case you wonder, but all of them were attractive and Polish (and most of them in the UK). So, either being sexually harassing disgusting pigs is a "character trait" of Western men or the stereotypes and prejudices about Polish women being repeated by Western men from one to another have (and not being challenged by anyone, apparently - as it often was the case on PF) made so much damage that men think there's nothing wrong in viewing and treating Polish women like that.

So, yes, it's kind of personal for me - you didn't see their eyes when they were talking about this... (and, btw, that was their only complaint about the UK and British people, they never said a bad word about either). They are lovely, modest, normal, friendly girls and women - they didn't deserve any of that.

For you it's just "comments on the internet", but for me it's a sign of something more sinister.


Atch, in all honesty, I think it's simply her "character trait". (;))


Because she won't get it. She's not the reflective type, it seems. I think she needs some shock therapy :P


Not really, I guess I've adapted a bit of Harry-like style of hammering people on their heads after years of writing on this forum. Plus I don't have the time right now to word my comments in the most careful way.


Not me.

Do you even like him? Why do you call him your "friend"?

Paulina "Do you even like him? Why do you call him your "friend"?"

I do like him (when he hasn't had a drink) , must be the father in me, he offered his hand friendship and i took it, he is a nice kid apart from the drinking, his cousin got him a nice job in Germany but he only lasted three months before he got fired for drinking, I will still lend him money if he needs it, but i will explain he does not have to run away if he can't pay it back. many people in the village shun him as an alcoholic waster (and don't give him work), I want to help him if I can.

That's nice of you, dolnoslask :) Maybe at some point you could try to talk him into getting some treatment...

That's a fair point.


Fair enoughski!


I would say a bit of both.


Paulina, certain kinds of men the world over say terrible things about women of all nationalities. It's not a Western/Polish thing but I understand why you feel the need to challenge such comments and it's right that you should do so.


So, there you go. There's the issue you're bringing to the table. As I say we all have them. It's part of being human.


Speaking of Polish character traits, I would say tact and diplomacy are not on the list! And long may it continue - vive la difference as InPolska might say!

I am trying to get my head around a few things since my return to poland, I grew up in a Polish family in the UK after the war, many of my polish friends had the same background,

A parent who serves in the Polish army and could not return to Poland (without consequences).

The polish role models that I had were always honorable and chivalrous, the men would always open doors for ladies and kiss their hands etc, (I understood this to be a polish trait), they would help out at the Polish club teach us dancing sword fighting shooting our history etc. they always seemed to tackle problems head on and didn't skirt around issues.

But here it does not seem to be the same with the younger generation in poland (they seem to run away when there is trouble) , maybe my expectations are a little too high, the world is a changing and all that, i dunno.

Atch, InPolska is one of many Westerners who settled in Poland for their Polish partners. Many of those Westerners have similar attitude towards Poland and Poles despite the fact that their partners are alive. So, I'm sorry, but I just don't buy it.


To some extent you're right but it's the Polish and Eastern European women that seem to have such "reputation" in the West. I have never seen comments like this, for example, from Russian men about Polish women and I've been discussing with Russians for years...


The difference is, though, that I'm not making sweeping, ridiculous generalisations about Western men. You wouldn't see me writing that 99% of Western men are this or that (disgusting molesting pigs, for example), despite what my friends have been through, or that 99% of people in the West or anywhere else think this or that.


I could say the same thing about the British (at least judging by those on PF) :)


Can't say I can talk about a whole generation like I know everything... Aren't you generalising a bit?


Of course, and societies and people are changing too, I guess, due to all kinds of circumstances.

Dolnoslask, I think you've pretty much answered your own question in a way. Your parents' generation grew up in a different Poland where they had the role models of Polish gentry and intelligentsia. The loss of those two elements and the loss of your parents and their peers who were exiled from Poland, together with the influence of Communism results in the Poland you see today.


Yes but change is cyclical in nature. The wheel will turn full circle and come round again and things change for the worse but also, given time, for the better. I think many of the Polish people in their thirties and forties are a bit of a lost generation but the ones coming up now, in their teens, there's a lot of great young people out there so don't despair.