in fact I find that the best way to get rid of someone who has become a bit of a nuisance is to lend them 100zl, problem solved you don't see them again.
I'm always amazed by this strange ability of people on PF - they always seem to stumble upon the worst kind of people in Poland lol I've never had a friend of mine asking me for money (or an acquaintance for that matter). I never asked them either.
@Dolno: it happens to you "once in a while"!!!
Strange, if it's such a unique and startling "Polish trait" then why haven't I ever heard of it before? I mean, I've read all kinds of things about Poles on PF, the wildest and most ridiculous exaggerations and generalisations (including yours) but this is something new.
We get as close as could be with people, we share everything, we are in the BEST terms (absolutely NO conflict or whatever) and then they play dead when we try to contact them and we no longer hear from them.
I was born here and I've been living in Poland all my life and it never happened to me.
The only thing I have a problem with, I admit, is keeping in touch with people who have become long-distance friends since they've moved abroad but that's simply because life gets in the way and it's easier to focus on what is near you. That's natural, imho, and happens everywhere.
So, since what you've described never happened to me I can only guess about the reasons and I have 4 awesome theories:
1. You're lying, just like when you claimed that 99% of Poles think that black people are apes.
2. Your relationships with those Poles were great only from your point of view. It's possible they weren't so great for them and so they put an end to it. Maybe when they got to know you better they realised how anti-Polish you are and sensed how much you dislike Poland (you admitted yourself that you don't want to live here) and they couldn't stomach it (and/or your personality) in the long run. You write that the reason for sudden loss of contact is due to the fact that Poles are "rude" according to the foreigners you know. In another thread you wrote that it's because Poles are "cruel" lol In my opinion it's the exact opposite. I often heard and read from foreign men how nice and "humane" Polish girls/women are in comparison to their Western counterparts when turning a guy down. I even remember Steffen Möller mentioning this when he was comparing Polish and German women. He said that a German woman would just bark out an angry "NO!" into the guy's face and make him feel like a looser while a Polish woman would take the guy's number when offered and would even say she'll call but she never would (which he found to be confusing and irritating, of course ;)). So, for a Polish person it's not "rude" or "cruel" - it's the opposite of being rude and cruel, actually. They think it's the nice
way to resolve something like this. I may be wrong, of course, but I think Poles aren't very confrontational, they prefer to be nice then hurt someone. They may prefer to stay away from you then to tell you what's wrong, why they started disliking you, etc.
Btw, did you know these people at your workplace or outside of it?
3. It's a foreigner thing. Dolnoslask mentioned something about money, so maybe some people are a "friend" version of a gold digger lol But you haven't mentioned anything about money so I have no idea...
4. Those people actually died and that's why they didn't contact you :P I don't know, maybe they got hit by a car or were eaten by wolves in the mountains or those polar bears that walk the streets in Poland and drink vodka :P
Btw, InPolska, in what countries have you lived and for how long?
It happened to me 5 times, including 2 times this year
For all those years that you lived in Poland it happened to you 5 times and you write that this trait is common among many
and I was deeply shoked and even humiliated
That's how I often feel when I read your (and other) comments about Poles on this forum.
(I am most loyal). I do NOT understand how they "function".
You are most annoying, prejudiced, chauvinistic, weird, immature for your age and full of yourself (sorry, but that's what I think). I do NOT understand how you "function" lol
Poles very rarely invite people in their homes (this amazes me).
I don't know what "rarely" is for you so I can't comment. In my opinion Poles are rather private people and it's possible they are more likely to invite people they really like and want to invite. On the other hand I've been invited by all kinds of people to their homes - by my family, friends, classmates, work colleagues... so... hmm... *shrugs
Although I must say that in my experience people like to simply meet in cafes, clubs, etc. probably because you don't have to clean up your place and prepare the food and drinks then and another reason may be the fact that Poles often live in small flats and if one wants to invite even just a few people the place can get pretty cramped.
Also, you are mixing business hospitality wit social hospitality, there is a difference.
I agree with Ktos.
(always willing to explain the complexities of the Polish/human soul lol)
Wow, you can even find the info I provided on the internet on some British site! lol I googled "being invited by a Pole to home" out of curiosity and look what I found:
"Poles are known for being direct communicators, i.e. they say what they are thinking. However they are also very sensitive to other's feelings
and let that determine how and what they say.
. While direct communication is valued in Poland, there is also emphasis on finessing what is said in order to deliver information in a diplomatic way
. The level of the relationship mostly determines how direct someone can be
. For newly established and more formal relationships, a great deal of emphasis is placed on diplomacy. Once a relationship has passed through the initial phases, people feel more comfortable speaking frankly with each other and animated exchanges become more common."
This is 100% true in my opinion - couldn't put it better myself o_O
Btw, this is probably one of the reasons why I often have problems with Westerners here - the way they write about Poles and Poland... I think many Poles would find it rude (verging on unnecessary cruelty) to write in such a way about a foreign country and people...