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My polish girlfriend has changed following death of dad..


bajka - | 71  
9 Apr 2008 /  #121
so she said it was to hurtful and not fair to me cause she cant give me anything

She could start by returning the necklace, and then when she's over her little rant, and you get back together then she can wear it as intended.....

How would you feel if she did get with somebody else and wore the necklace with them when dating them, or if she sold it on to generate some cash.

Blow that Sh*t
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
9 Apr 2008 /  #122
eddiea19,

She is playing you and using her father as a way to fob you off. Get a grip, stop feeling sorry for yourself, get the necklace back, if you can and then forget her. It's time to move on.
OP eddiea19 1 | 44  
9 Apr 2008 /  #123
Ok man, you gotta get a grip here. You got that? YOU are a Man and we are at our most MANtastic when we don't give a flying FCUK about the weather as long as we get done whatever it is we have to get done.

Not being invited to the dinner w

its time to ignore and moved on she has called me today already and i havent returned it, ineed to play it right give her time time is what shell get, i should go sport f...king!!!!!
Shawn_H  
9 Apr 2008 /  #124
then just burn all her possessions in a trashcan......and feel better for it.

That's low. I love it! But, you could give anything of value to charity, then burn the rest.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
9 Apr 2008 /  #125
i asked her today she said no doesnt that she just wants to spend time with mom and brother wants time to heal and said she doesnt feel like being in relationship or having sex or being accountable to a man.. so she said it was to hurtful and not fair to me cause she cant give me anything.. she opened up and said she needs time to think cause she had plans for her dad to come live here and now hes gone

Her answer sounded very real. That's how some women feel when they lose a loved one. I don't think you have a reason to feel vengeful toward her.

If she called you today then she obviously doesn't want you completely out of her life. You should definitely decide if you can live with being only a friend to her. If not, then yes, it's time to move on but you shouldn't leave or avoid her out of anger. It really doesn't seem like she's trying to hurt you on purpose.
OP eddiea19 1 | 44  
9 Apr 2008 /  #126
Her answer sounded very real.

your right, i will be here for her. i reeally care for her so for once il stay friends instead thx
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699  
9 Apr 2008 /  #127
Her answer sounded very real.

it does to extent.. but she was upset that he asked for the necklace back
and called him cheap, yet she broke it off with him and accepted that 1200.00$
worth..

if she was real in her feelings, she would say. I cannot accept this at this time
because I am not sure about my feelings and need to sort thru them..
that would be called honesty.. calling him cheap after dumping him sounds
a little off balance.. I know I wouldnt accept something that I dont rightfully
deserve if I cannot give my heart fully to a person who would spend so much
money on such elaborate gift .. matter of fact.. same situation and I gave
my ring back..

theres more to the story, she is just diverting it.. and I feel sorry to say that
this way but if you care for someone you wont take like that knowing how deep
it will hurt , especially after losing someone close to you, then pushing the
other close person away.. makes no sense..

I think her poland trip was a little more then what she told you.
sorry eddie. hope things arent this way. or that I am just reading way
to far into it. and I hope I am wrong and your right Shewolf. but I fear not.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
10 Apr 2008 /  #128
it does to extent.. but she was upset that he asked for the necklace back and called him cheap, yet she broke it off with him and accepted that 1200.00$ worth..

if she was real in her feelings, she would say. I cannot accept this at this time
because I am not sure about my feelings and need to sort thru them..
that would be called honesty.. calling him cheap after dumping him sounds
a little off balance..

That's so true. She should have given the necklace back if she knew how expensive it was. I never would have kept it myself. But didn't he give it to her before they broke up?

I still don't think her reaction is a reason to automatically suspect her of dishonesty. Maybe she thought he gave the gift from his heart, because she meant something to him. When he asked for it back maybe she felt like it had all been fake, like "this gift is only yours as long as we're together but as soon as we break up you can't have it anymore so it's not really yours."
bajka - | 71  
10 Apr 2008 /  #129
OK, eddiea19 - more info needed at this point, exactly how long before the event did she receive and accept the necklace from you , or was it after her fathers passing away?

Did you say that her father was terminally ill and destined to pass away within a timeframe or was it sudden?

How much stuff of hers is left at yours, would it fetch much on EBAY ?
Dzhaklin 3 | 166  
10 Apr 2008 /  #130
That's so true. She should have given the necklace back if she knew how expensive it was. I never would have kept it myself. But didn't he give it to her before they broke up?

Yeah I probablly wouldn't have taken the necklace too, however if this space thing still involved any intimacy I would take it without hesitation because there was still some resemblance of a relationship during this "space"
bajka - | 71  
10 Apr 2008 /  #131
still involved any intimacy I would take it without hesitation because there was still some resemblance of a relationship during this "space"

That's a very ruski trait, my ex wife did something like that too, that's why she's my EX-WIFE now....... i got very bored, very fast with all the bit-chin !
OP eddiea19 1 | 44  
10 Apr 2008 /  #132
t does to extent.. but she was upset that he asked for the necklace back
and called him cheap, yet she broke it off with him and accepted that 1200.00$
worth..

Look she went to poland cause her dad was in hospital for 3 months and finally told her it didnt look good so she went to poland to make sure he was getting all thwe care he could , you know in poland you need to pay and bribe for things. when she been thier a week he died so she in turn had to have the burial and all arangements all of a sudden,and she wasnt expecting that. so i know it was a tragic trip not one of enjoyment i gave the necklace to her which i bought while she was thier and gave it to her 3 weeks after she came back when she was saying i dont know what i want or who iam anymore then came the decsion to break up cause she said right now she cant be a girlfriend or do things have sex... basically she doesnt think its fair to be my girlfriend if shes incapable of doing girlfriend things right now . she said she wants to heal and get though her dads passing without stress of thinking she needs to balance our relationship.. sounds like a fair request. Im backed off last 2 days and shes been calling but trying to act like she has something to asked... so for now???? up in the air
bajka - | 71  
10 Apr 2008 /  #133
Still wrong of her to take the necklace whilst in the process of thinking of breaking up with you.......

that's just heartless, if it was me i'd be the one offended and insist on the necklace back as it not going to mean anything to her if she's pushing you away like that......

i hope we're all wrong about it.....
OP eddiea19 1 | 44  
10 Apr 2008 /  #134
Still wrong of her to take the necklace

i have to believe her until i get reasons not too... if you dont trust a person youll never really know the truth
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768  
10 Apr 2008 /  #135
up in the air

no it's not up in the air, it's filed under "whatever."

Look dude, you got a lot of crap advice at the beginning of this thread and you've got to change your attitude to this debacle.

i have to believe her until i get reasons not too..

I'd say you have some pretty stellar reasons not to trust her. She wasn't honest with you from the start and it's painfully obvious that she's decided to play the victim and rationalize self-centred behaviour on those grounds. Insulting someone after they give you a gift is sign of poor character. Accepting the gift also shows her ability to act in self-interest regardless of the time or situation.

Chicks like this are not worth the hassle. It may not be her fault but this whole episode exposed some glaring immature and unstable features of her character. She showed where her head is when the chips were down. If she can't figure out that people get old and die then she's just not mature enough to properly deal with the complexities of life.

I know from experience that no matter how nice the voice, how funny she may be, how good looking she is, any broad that pulls a stunt like hers just ain't worth the hassle. 86 her completely from your life and in less than 6 months she'll be begging you to take her back-don't.

I can't stress this enough. If you don't desperately need the money then just forget her completely.

If she eventually wants to return the necklace then you win 1200 smackeroos. If she wants to get back together with you after doing the right thing then that would be a good sign. In all honesty though I'd consider this a lesson learned, i.e. a bad investment of time, money and emotion.
OP eddiea19 1 | 44  
10 Apr 2008 /  #136
'd say you have some pretty stellar reasons not to trust her. She wasn't honest with you from the start and it's painfully obvious that she's decided to play the victim and rationalize self-centred behaviour on those grounds. Insulting someone after they give you a gift is sign of poor character. Accepting the gift also shows her ability t

good point
plk123 8 | 4,149  
10 Apr 2008 /  #137
Her answer sounded very real. That's how some women feel when they lose a loved one. I don't think you have a reason to feel vengeful toward her.

If she called you today then she obviously doesn't want you completely out of her life. You should definitely decide if you can live with being only a friend to her. If not, then yes, it's time to move on but you shouldn't leave or avoid her out of anger. It really doesn't seem like she's trying to hurt you on purpose.

yeah, playing games won't get you anywhere.

"this gift is only yours as long as we're together but as soon as we break up you can't have it anymore so it's not really yours."

yes, that's how break ups work.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699  
11 Apr 2008 /  #138
she said she wants to heal and get though her dads passing without stress of thinking she needs to balance our relationship.

well what the heck is she going to do after she is married? divorce and tell that
person she needs space so that she can come to terms with life and death?
we all know its hard to lose someone.. and some might need more help then
others.. if she needs some type of counseling for grief/greiving process maybe
that should be mentioned.. pushing the ones you love away during this time
is/can be normal to extent. taking a 1200.00 necklace is tacky in my opinion.
and I would tell her so if I was one of her relatives..mean and tacky.

be an honest woman.

When he asked for it back maybe she felt like it had all been fake, like "this gift is only yours as long as we're together but as soon as we break up you can't have it anymore so it's not really yours."

it isnt hers anyway because he gave it to the woman he loves .
but that love isnt mutual.. therefore it dont belong to her.. and how dare her
take advantage of his vunerability fully knowing his feelings are strong and hers
arent!

Accepting the gift also shows her ability to act in self-interest regardless of the time or situation.

Bingo !

i have to believe her until i get reasons not too... if you dont trust a person youll never really know the truth

ok so you now have puppet strings.. how far do you get pulled?
sorry eddie, but if your going to give space.. be firm about what your doing.
get the necklace ( soon as possible) so you can least get your money back.
tell her your sorry, she needs space so thats what your doing,.. and let her
have alot of space month or so.. to think and tell her, what would she have
done if you were married? thats why people call it support system.. you have
a BF, sisters, brothers, husbands, etc.. and when she is ready she will either
call or move on.. but meantime.. dont be that cake sitting in the fridge ok?

the term CAKE and Eat it too.. keeping you hangin while she is doing whatever
its either together or not.. and if thats not the case, then if she is comfortable
with that you take the necklace and put it away till she is ready to come back
then see her reaction.. if she says why cant I keep it.. then tell her after her
greiveing is thru and she is ready to be fully with you then she can have it.

make sense?
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
11 Apr 2008 /  #139
She has already shown you how easy it is to hurt you, even if she hasn't meant to. I don't think she's somebody you should give your heart to. If you stay friends with her there shouldn't be the hope of someday becoming more than that again unless she somehow changes and becomes a better person.
OP eddiea19 1 | 44  
11 Apr 2008 /  #140
if she says why cant I keep it.. then tell her after her
greiveing is thru and she is ready to be fully with you then she can have it.

your right she is very cold and mean which means it will probably get worse. i dont think this is the woman that i should give all i have too. cause ive done so much and it hasnt come back to me
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768  
11 Apr 2008 /  #141
dude, really, the best you can do in this one is walk away. Call it a loss, call it a loss of face, call it whatever you want but cut your losses on this one. Anything else will look like desperation and no matter how dashing you may be, desperation is not a colour that looks good on anyone, man or woman.

Be Man-nificient, saddle up and ride away, initiate nothing with this one-ever again. Even when you think that she's probably wonderin and hopin and all that whatever that goes on in their heads-resist any urge. When she calls after days, weeks or months of you having just disappeared then your job is to 86 her in a very firm yet respectful way.

If you're as young as I think you are then trust me my man, you will do better but you gotta learn from this. Focus on other things and they will come to you but if that one does then you gotta tell her to scram.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699  
11 Apr 2008 /  #142
your right she is very cold and mean which means it will probably get worse. i dont think this is the woman that i should give all i have too. cause ive done so much and it hasnt come back to me

Eddie, I am glad you came online for some insight and help.

we all hope things get better for you.. really. :)
OP eddiea19 1 | 44  
11 Apr 2008 /  #143
tahnk you all, We actually saw each other and got dinner and shes starting to get her personality back as well as sense of humor so staying cool and letting it unfold... gods will not mine
JuliePotocka 5 | 188  
29 Apr 2008 /  #144
You give me a gift - it's mine, no matter how expensive or cheap ass it is!

I had a hotshot millionaire producer from Hollywierd give me a 'Batgirl' belt. After we broke up the 2nd time, he had the audacity to ask for it back! Never mind the $1000 bottle of wine I left in his fridge, etc. That was a gift, and I've NEVER asked for gifts back that I've given to anyone myself! Hope he enjoyed the whine, to go with his cheese.

I still have that silly leather bat belt, lol.

Moral of story: NEVER EXPECT BACK GIFTS. I don't care if it cost me $1, $10, $100, $1000, or $10,000. I simply cut my financial attachment from it, and smile whenever I see the person wear it.

Heck, I went through one of my jewelry boxes with a male friend of mine last night, because he was curious about the history behind some pieces. The box I pulled out wasn't the expensive one - it was the one that had meaning.

Glad she's feeling better, but please, never corner anyone, especially when it comes to gifts! It cheapens the meaning, and the relationship.

Oh, and the guy I got the 'Batgirl' belt from? People who know me, I simply point out how many Emmy's he's won, but he can't have that belt or ME, lol. That shall be in an interesting part of my life memoirs - I should right them, gets pretty funny or sad at times. But mostly silly.
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
29 Apr 2008 /  #145
You give me a gift - it's mine, no matter how expensive or cheap ass it is!

kto daje i zabiera ten sie w piekle poniewiera. but seriously, if you read through this thread and see what the situation is, the guy has every right to demand that necklace back. this girl is a total byatch and a gold digger.
plk123 8 | 4,149  
29 Apr 2008 /  #146
wow. i am surprised to see you type this but i surely agree. :)
Dzhaklin 3 | 166  
29 Apr 2008 /  #147
Yes, it is proper etiquette not to ask for the necklace back, but screw proper etiquette it's 1,200 necklace and she's a "*****".
lowfunk99 10 | 397  
29 Apr 2008 /  #148
From what I have read,

she doesn't sound very stable and you don't sound very compassionate.

Every one responds to death in differernt ways.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699  
30 Apr 2008 /  #149
I simply cut my financial attachment from it, and smile whenever I see the person wear it.

well if you didnt have a relationship and you didnt
leave it on bad terms I am sure you would smile if you have the money to burn
some people dont, maybe this was his savings he had and he decided to buy her
this gift to lighten the burden..her fully knowing she wanted to break it off makes
the gift nothing.. because she didnt accept it from him as his love, she took the
gift and stomped on his heart.. is that proper? should he laugh it off.. smile
when she wears it fully knowing that she might wear it to a event with someone
else?

so she takes the gift and says now beat it?did u say that to the producer?
no, you probably went out a few more times right?? was it dating? or relationship?
there is a difference.

NOpe.. I still say give it back, dont accept things in which you cannot fully
return some kind of gracious feelings, its wrong!!!

I had a hotshot millionaire producer from Hollywierd give me a 'Batgirl' belt. After we broke up the 2nd time, he had the audacity to ask for it back!

it doesnt sound like this was a long term relationship and if he
was hot shot it doesnt seem like he would worry to much about money..
maybe he was lying to you to make you think he was big shot and trying to get
more out of you .. your situation isnt the same either way.

You give me a gift - it's mine, no matter how expensive or cheap ass it is!

he gave her a gift with the full intentions of spending his life with her and she
knew she was going to break it off, she was acting different towards him and
sorry to say but a real woman wouldnt take advantage of a man that way.
especially if she knows that her love isnt mutual,, she wanted space.. he gave
the gift thinking maybe to take her mind off things ( like losing her dad) but of
course she took it then said see ya later !! he didnt know she was going to call
it quits..
I think any person who does things like this is undeserving,. it only shows how
materialistic and sad they have become.. we didnt come into this world with
jewels on our fingers and necks.. and a stupid piece of gold means nothing to
a person if it doesnt hold some type of meaning..
krazy krawiec 4 | 27  
30 Apr 2008 /  #150
Time is a great healer... if you love her then the best thing for her is time and space... stay strong for her... this is what she needs now. Good luck and try to stay positive, behind the clouds the sun still shines.... the night is dark and frightening but morning always arrives :) x

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