There is definitely a book in you
Imagine the calls from Russia to Poland...
For example... the acting governor of occupied Smolensk calls PANSTWO (Polska Administracja Ńowych Stref Terytorialnych Wschodnich i Okolic) - located in Krakow.
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Sergey Ivanovich (Former Deputy Governor of Smolensk, now "Acting Polish Administrator"): Yes, hello... this is Sergey Ivanovich... again. I'm calling from Sector 12-Smolensk Oblast. I have some... questions.
Col. Kowalczyk (PANSTWO liaison for Smolensk): Mr. Ivanovich, we told you yesterday-the kielbasa quotas are non-negotiable...
Sergey: No, no, it's not about the kielbasa this time. It's... other matters.
Col. Kowalczyk (sighs audibly): Go ahead, Acting Administrator.
Sergey (voice trembling): It's about the airport...
Col. Kowalczyk (suddenly serious): Ah.
The Sacred Zone. What's the problem?
Sergey: We've fenced off the airport as instructed. But now a group of Polish officials in black suits has arrived. They just... stand there. Staring at the runway. Day and night. One of them whispered, "We watch so history doesn't repeat." Another muttered something about "the winds of betrayal." Should I... offer them tea?
Col. Kowalczyk: Absolutely not! Under no circumstances do you interrupt the Supervision of Fate. Those men are trained professionals. Years of staring into the abyss of Polish history. Just leave them be. If they start weeping, that's a good sign-it means the metaphysical balance is being maintained.
Sergey: Right... of course. Last thing, sir... The locals keep asking when the occupation will end?
Col. Kowalczyk (chuckles): Tell them it already did. Poland doesn't "occupy." We inherit misfortune. Welcome to the Commonwealth, Sergey. Now, get back to work. And remember-every time you feel lost, just ask yourself: "What would a 17th-century slzachcic do?"