Cheating from spouses. Is cheating very common in Poland ?

@Lenka, I wouldn't mind if a complete stranger approached me about sth like this. I'd be very grateful because I've seen how indifferent or cowardly or lazy people can be and they don't intervene when sth bad is happening - I was also a victim of such indifference/cowardice/social apathy. It didn't have anything to do with cheating, but it can make you lose faith in people.

Now imagine the wife finds out when she's after 50 or 60... (whole life wasted) or when she contracts some nasty venereal disease from her husband...

I understand what you're saying, there's always a small chance (20%) that she knows, but if her husband's cheating isn't "extremely painful and embarrassing" enough for her to dump him, then I doubt she'd die from shame if someone told her about it...

Pity that the wife doesn't know English - she could try to find out for sure then if she knows about cheating or not...

If that story is even real, that is, and we're not being trolled... :)


Then I'd rather my husband didn't visit your hotel ;))

@cms neuf, then I guess - your hotel - your rules, my hotel - my rules :)

@johnny reb, what about the kids? You think I'd want my mother to be married to a cheater? Besides, the pair could go to counseling and that could help their marriage - not everyone divorces over cheating.


Hypocrites. Come on, don't tell me you wouldn't want to know that your wife is cheating on you.

And as I wrote already - 80% of wives who are being cheated on never get to know. Men have their ways to hide this stuff, trust me, their impunity can be astounding...

That explains why you are so bitter.


I would have to say a big chance, like (90%) of woman would know if it went on as long as Amber implied.


I wouldn't need someone to tell me, I would know.


Probably about the same percent for husbands who have sluts for wives.
Women can be very creative.
Things must work different in Poland as it does in the U.S.
You go sticking your nose in other peoples business here it is highly likely you'll get it broke, or worse.

@johnny reb, me being a victim of social apathy explains why I care for other people being in similar situation when other people are too indifferent to react.

Well, I think I trust more a research than your guessing and I think it's a bit of a wishful thinking on your part that you would know if your wife was cheating on you...

Maybe the percentage would be similar in case of husbands being cheated on and not knowing about it - I don't know, I haven't seen such research. Men do have more opportunities though, I think - with all those brothels around and sites where you can order prostitutes like pizza :)

So, johnny reb, what you're saying is that, if you were being cheated on by your wife and you wouldn't know about it because your "slutty" wife would be so "creative" about it, and your buddy would come to you and tell you what's going on, instead of thanking him you would brake his nose??

I googled it.


LOL, all a woman has to do is walk in a bar after midnight and she can have the pick of just about any man she wants for free.


Like I said, I would know without anyone feeling obligated to tell me.
See when a woman gets up into her mid forties she puts men on pause.
A guy on the other hand at forty five gets tired of hearing that his wife is not in the mood.
And I am sure you know how weak us males are when it comes to younger women in their prime.

@johnny reb, if you googled it then what's the percentage in case of husbands? How many of them don't know?

As far as going to a bar - for women such kind of adventure may not be very safe and probably not very satisfying. Also, unlike prostitutes, men talk... Someone she knows may see her in the bar, etc. etc.

You know what, I think that by claiming that you would know about your wife's cheating you're trying to weasel out from answering my question.

Would you brake your buddy's nose or not? Simple question.

"you know how weak us males are when it comes to younger women in their prime." - I do know, so don't go on and tell me that I'm "a feminist of the worst kind and think the worst of men", etc., because you know very well what I'm talking about...

On the other hand you can do your thing without people telling you what to do or how to behave, that goes both ways. I'm sure if a society were more responsive you would complain here about how oppressively suffocating people are.

Don't you think it is time for some growing up? You cannot have it both ways.


It not the same. In 99,9% men cheating and women are cheatings are completely different story.
When men are cheating it is all about sex.
When women cheat they look down on a husband, try to get back at him and more oft than not they do get emotionally attached to their lover.

We are not talking here about a one night stand I presume.

That would be 17% of them.
creditdonkey.com/infidelity-statistics.html


Just like you weaseled out of my question of: "What kind of men is that Ms. Judgmental ?"
When you stated that:


So what kind of men is that ?
What is your source to confirm that Joker and I are cheaters ?
Did you google that or is just a feeling that you are making such a diminishing statement to try and shame us with ?
No wonder your man cheated on you.
Who informed you about it ?

Kama Sutra je mama. Who loves it. And who would't like it. Some others likes ascetic life. Some enjoy to delude themselves with false moral. Some are philosophers. Some have hormonal problems. And so on.

What is a false moral, Crow ?

Where does it say in the article?

Johnny reb, I doubt I'd complain about people on the bus telling me that I'm being pickpocketed or if I didn't have to talk a witness of a car accident into waiting for the police after she saw a driver hitting a young girl after he didn't stop at the lights... I meant stuff like this. No, I wouldn't complain about people being "oppressively suffocating" then. Would you?

That's basic human decency in a civic society, imho.

And don't be lame, noone informed me about me being cheated on and I've never been cheated on (as far as I know, of course). I wrote that my experiences had nothing to do with cheating.


OK, johnny, I do think that you're hypocrites and probably cheaters too. I'm basing this on your first reactions to Adel's post. The fact that you're not even willing to answer my question about your buddy' s broken nose proves you're a hypocrite. I have no proof that your're a cheater, obviously, that's my gut feeling based on your reaction to Adel's post and your behaviour on this forum.

Now, your turn. Would you brake your buddy's nose or not? No weaseling out this time.

Btw, I'm not going to get involved into an endless discussion about differences between men's and women's cheating. Marriage is about sex too. It's one of it's foundaments. So even if it's "only" about sex for men - it doesn't matter - it's still a betrayal and it hurts. And, yes, I was talking about one night stands (you mentioned a bar yourself) and everything else.

*break your buddy's nose, sorry lol

and fundamentals, not foundaments, I guess

Ah, I didn't notice that Ironside got involved in the discussion and I addressed johnny_reb twice instead of Ironside by mistake - sorry about that...

Which buddy of mine has a broken nose ?
And even if one of my buddies did have a broken nose, how does that make me a hypocrite ?


Then you shouldn't be saying that I am as it is a lie.
Your projections are most creative confirming my point.


I think you meant break and not brake.
(should the reb take her bait ?)
Did I say I would break my buddies nose or are you projecting that I said I would break my buddies nose ?


How about if it is only about sex for a woman ?
It is just as much of a betrayal to a man as it is to a woman.

@johnny, it's late and I'm getting too sleepy to deal with your sudden "amnesia" and playing dumb. That's really lame even for you...

My question was - if your buddy told you your wife was cheating on you, would you break his nose for telling you about this or not? Act like an adult and answer the question already.

I wrote that I have a feeling that you and Joker are cheaters. That it's my gut feeling. I never wrote that I know this for sure.

As for women cheating only for sex then how am I supposed to know if it's as much of a betrayal for men too? I'm not a man. You tell me...

I have a feeling is a judgmental projection and in this case used to shame.
Well I have a feeling that you are fishing for me to admit that I am married, if the truth be known.
You are definitely baiting me to admit something that you want me to admit.
Why not quit playing games and tell us where you are going with this.


I didn't say that, you inferred that.
What I said was, "You go sticking your nose in other peoples business here in the U.S.A. is highly likely you'll get it broke."

I didn't say I would break any ones nose.
Now lets get back to my question.


Now quit playing dumb and tell us what kind of man I am that makes you sick ?

Yes it is very late in Poland and it seems that you have been drinking as you can't stay focused.
You are normally much sharper than you have been in this exchange.

@johnny reb, how would I "shame" you by writing what I think after reading your comments to Adel? Your and Joker's reactions to Adel's post were too emotional and agressive. Adel is clearly a decent person who'd like to do the right thing. Cheating on your spouse is a bad thing. Telling someone that they are being cheated on is a good thing. So, such knee-jerk reaction on your part (attacking Adel) looked weird and suspicious to me. It's likely to mean you identify yourselves with that cheating husband because you're cheaters yourselves - this is a simple psychological mechanism. The other reason for your reaction may be that you're identifying yourselves with the children because your parents got divorced, but, tbh, I suspect that the first option is more likely...

I'm not fishing for anything - you mentioned your wife at least twice on this forum, then some time later you wrote about some woman in her forties, I think, who was interested in you and you were thinking that maybe you'll go for it, lately you wrote that you're looking for a friend for post-pandemic orgies... lol I don't know if you're married or divorced and to be honest whatever you would write on this matter - I wouldn't believe you with such track record so what's the point of fishing?

I didn't infer anything, I've asked you a simple question that you avoided to answer. You wrote that things must work differently in Poland than in the US. You suggested that someone who would tell another person that they're being cheated on would have their nose broken for that or even worse. That's why I asked you that question - whether you'd break your buddy's nose for telling you that your wife is cheating on you. Or maybe you meant sth else - that in the US Adel would get her nose broken by the cheating husband for telling the truth to his wife?

As to your question - I've already answered it in post nr 40. Do you have a memory of a butterfly?

Wow, drinking, seriously? lol I've noticed that people like to accuse others on PF of drinking during posting, but you couldn't choose a worse target for this. No, I didn't drink - the only alcohol I drink is a glass or two of champagne on New Year's Eve, sorry :)

I was simply sleepy and as I use my phone as an alarm clock and keep it beside my pillow I was writing on my phone. I don't know how to quote on my phone for the life of me either, so I'm sorry if I wasn't "sharp" enough for you while being half asleep and in a hurry to end this increasingly pointless exchange... Even now I can't be bothered to turn on my computer so sorry for lack of quotes and any spelling mistakes...

Its when you want to go naked on the street and you decide not to because you obey to moral norm. Its when woman wants to give her tit to the baby in public and decide not to because of norm. Its when you want to have sex with two woman at the same time, and there are woman who are interested and still you don`t do it because something hold you. Its when priest take money to you to connect you to the God, like merchant connect producer with consumer. Its when man spread their sperm and at the same time wants to control what woman do with their eggs. Its when countries spread democracy, while we all know its just grabbing and control. Its when Churches sending missionaries to spread their influence and those missionaries using incentives to spread word of God. Etc, etc.

Ultimately, false moral is to die in silence. To live without living. To live some norm behind which is interest of some others and not to have your way.

Elvis Presley - My Way (Aloha From Hawaii, Live in Honolulu, 1973)
>>> youtube.com/watch?v=ixbcvKCl4Jc

thumbs.worthpoint.com/zoom/images4/1/0216/03/horseshoe-hawaii-ring-usa-12-oz-elvis_1_8cb93b1835ad1a31d1b021560b74052e.jpg

And look what THEY done to our world. Look! And what we did to prevent it. Greeks, Romans, Franks, Sasanids, etc, etc. Why old Sarmatians didn`t stop them?! Aren`t we cowards. True died in battles, so only miserable remain. Gene pool is weakened. Generation of miserable after generation of miserable.

Man is not a man and woman is not a woman. That is our achievement. And we even forgot what it means to be a man or a woman. Free man and free woman. I know one thing. Its not control. It must be coexistence. Its not tolerance, its understanding. Its wisdom and not stupidity. It have to be nice word. It have to. Something gently.

@Paulina
If you interpreted Joker and my response as "to emotional" then that is your problem.
We were just being candid with the very nice and decent young lady.
Cheating on your spouse is a bad thing however just because it is a bad thing does not give YOU a green light to stick your nose in where it does not belong to claim it is a good thing to do.

How many times do I have to repeat that to get it thru your stubborn head.


How creative as projecting that we attacked Adel. lol
You posted - It's likely to mean you identify yourselves with that cheating husband because you're cheaters yourselves
The key word there is "likely" to spin it like it is indeed true which it is not true.
And NO again, my parents did not get divorce.
I have just witnessed to many families broken up by controlling feminists home wreckers sticking their noses in where they DO NOT belong.
Little old church ladies are even worse.


That is why you would go fishing because you are baffled with my elusive sarcasm to protect my personal life from your gang here. lol

You said that I suggested that someone who would tell another person that they're being cheated on would have their nose broken for that or even worse.

Spin it as you may however, what I actually said was:


I know English is your second language but here in America that means, "Keep your nose out of other peoples private busines".
Something you seem that you are entitled to for some reason.
You also stated, "Or maybe you meant sth else - that in the US Adel would get her nose broken by the cheating husband for telling the truth to his wife?"

That was an example of what could happen or like cms said, she could lose her job or any number of things to teach her to mind her own business.

So YES, I meant any number of unpleasant things could happen to a person like you that refuses to mind their own business.

In post #40


First you called me a hypocrite without merit.
You simply said, "because I think you are" with 'think' being the key word to project an untruth.
Then continued with the "probably" being the key word to project yet another lie.
To continuously challenging me to to dissect your creative projections with words like "I think" and "probably" to spin my posts into lies is an old Harry trick.

I meant nothing derogatory about my statement about you not being your sharp self last night.
Usually you are very astute in your posts.
Thanks for explianing.
What we have here Paulina is a cultural difference.
Americans talk with sarcasms and examples that the native Polish take in the wrong context.
When I said broken nose I didn't mean necessarily literally (even though it is possible), I meant it as a figuratively example of bad repercussions for sticking your nose in where it does not belong.

So my conclusion is that the Polish take everything literally and 'project' what they 'think' it means.
Americans use butchered English and talk more figuratively.
That's the problem here.

Wouldn't it be funny if someone started meddling in her affairs. Im sure she has some skeletons in her closet judging by her demented posts.

My previous post was in relation to the possible reason why the husband is occasionally cheating. It could be because he has maybe some weird or strange desires that he gets from the prostitute something which he cannot from his wife?

So in case Adel decides to take Paulina's advice and inform the wife, she should also tell her that even if it was physical it wasn't psychological? Perhaps it would sound more comforting & make the wife feel slightly better.

I think a main problem here in communication is between men and women. Between married and unmarried people.
Paulina you ae not married aren't you?
While Lenka is married.
Both differs in their approach to the issue.

I'm sorry, guys, but I'm not Chairman Kaczyński and I can't be convinced that black is white and white is black. Everyone who is being cheated on simply has the right to know that the're being cheated on. Who gave YOU the right to take that right away from them? It's their right to know and it's up to them what they're going to do with that knowledge. It's not up to us to decide in such situation what's best for them, for their marriage or their children. The're adults and it's their life (and they have only ONE life), their marriage and their children. And their right to know.

You know what all this talk about "sticking your nose in where it does not belong" reminds me? People who say, for example, that domestic violence (which is a bad thing too) is "family business" and when some psychopath is beating the crap out of his wife and kids other people (neighbours, the police) should look the other way because "it's not their business". You know what kind of people say such things, right? Usually those who, as Joker put it, have some skeletons in their closets - who like to beat the crap out of their wives and kids themselves. I think you can imagine what I think about them and their opinions?

Another thing - I really doubt that you would react the same way as towards Adel if it was a guy who would come here asking how to tell a man he knows and likes that he's being cheated on by his "slutty" wife in the most "creative" ways and this very nice guy seems to be totally unaware of what she's doing. Would you also be writing stuff like that you "pity" the male poster, would you be writing about "minding his own business", calling him "a self appointed busy body", "a self appointed home wrecker" and asking him what his "pet sin" is? Would you give a guy the same "warm" welcome if it was about a "slutty" cheating wife? Yeah, I don't think so.

@Joker, there would be nothing to "meddle with". I'm a hardcore monogamist - I can't help it even if I wanted to, I guess I'm "wired" this way. I've never cheated on anyone in my life. I've also never been "the other woman". So no skeletons in my closet, sorry to disappoint you :)


lol Iron, you never give up, do you? :D

I'll try to comment on the rest some other time, I have no time for all of this right now.

They never had that right to begin with, that's the point you are missing.


Poor example as cheating is not a life or death situation like physical violence could be.


Absolutely Paulina. This is obviously must be a culture difference.
I tell you what Paulina, take a vacation to Jamaica and watch the consequences to people just talking other peoples private business.
You learn to shut your damn mouth and mind your own matters or get chopped by a machete.
So if being a gossip in Poland is acceptable then have at it.
It's not in any other country in the world that I know of.
My advise to you is, "be careful in playing your self appointed feminist mama bear role".
You ever hear of karma ?

@Paulina Thank you so much for being so understanding and open minded. On my side, I am feeling a lot of guilt seeing this nice Polish woman who happens to be a regular guest in our hotel, being cheated on by her husband. I can say that she is totally CLUELESS and NAIVE on the true character of her husband by the way she speaks so highly about her husband when I have a small chat with her with a broken English.( She even use google translate to understand English) and that makes me sick in the stomach. You see, we people working in the hotel sometimes create a deep relationship with our guests and we tend to care about them as a friend or even a family member. I, myself, if I am married I wanted to know that my husband is cheating on me even it will hurt like hell. I don't know if this is a culture thing in Poland to just keep quiet and ignore things like this but in the US, it is definitely not. By the way sorry to confuse you, my name is Adelia Amber and I am half American and Spanish blood, born and raised in the United States. I will be back in US soon that is why I am thinking to tell this Polish woman who happens to be dear to me about his douche husband. And I don't know how and if this is the right thing to do?

Oh but it is Adel.
Only a bitter self appointed busy body would want to break up a marriage.
Any intelligent and mature adult would not think of sticking their nose in where it does not belong.
Only a young air head that has not gained such wisdom in life yet would.
You have no proof that they are even having sex now do you.
What if you were wrong ?


(Same question - same repeat)
No, no it is not as it is NONE of your business and does not concern you.
You need to practice some self control and let the cards fall where they may.
Did I already say that this is NONE of your business.
I have known scum sluts wives that cheat on their adorable husbands and have even hit on me but maturity has taught me to mind my own business.

In due time the husband eventually found out without me sticking my nose in where it did not belong.
It's quite obvious that you are looking for permission to snitch to justify your guilt so lets put this merry go round to rest.

I read the most recent posts here and I agree with you on every point you made. The risk of a violent confrontation is just too high.

On top of that, where there is frequent physical violence fuelled by booze, women are terrible at handling such situations. Instead of having a plan how to safely leave and hide, all they want is a screaming confrontation, plus the police to add to the drama. Later, they refuse to testify. And the show goes on....

and did you notice that the OP and the other females were always referring to the scum men doing the cheating and never mentioned anything about the wh0res that cheat on their husbands which is almost the same percentage as men that cheat.

I just wanted to be like Pawian and balance the thread out a bit.
I mean I could come on as a guest poster and make up such a story about some man that isn't aware that his wife is doing half the neighborhood and his buddies and call her every low life name I could think of.

I personally don't think the OP's story is true at all and she is just trolling.
Or if the story is true that she was handed her divorce papers not long ago and is very bitter.

...but forgot the female teachers who would put everything on the line for a couple of fu**s with a pimply kid who would tell everyone and a billion in Facebook about his achievement. Some of those teachers had a degree in psychology.

Well I just hope the OP has some self control and doesn't ruin a perfectly happy marriage before Christmas.