Confused about a Pole in the closet?

Hey, I'm a little confused about a polish dude I know through work, who apparently is in the closet. Here's the deal, I am a American gay guy, but no one knows about my lifestyle. I am sure people wonder, because I am 37, not married and I don't really talk about chicks, having a family, etc.

Anyhow, I meet this interesting polish guy through work, who starts sending me (not so subtle?) messages that he is interested in me. He's 35, from Poland, living here about 10 years+, lots of family in area (chicago) and does not have a girl friend, although he mentions girls, but nothing specific.

The subtle messages include him telling me in front of others, 'I know you', telling me that he 'wished he could welcome me back in person' after I returned from a long vacation; rubbed his cheek against mine twice, when I tried to tell him something at a party; I told him about a gay area of Miami and he said he would go with me to check it out; asked me if I wanted him to go with me to bathroom; and more ...

I guess here's my confusion: He's 35, polish, not married .. is these things cultural, or is it fairly clear what's going on? Shouldn't he be married at 35 with kids?

Mike

Why are you keeping him there ?

If he asked to go to the bathroom with you he is gay.

Keeping him where ?

yeah, I thought so too.

He also likes to touch a lot, rub legs when we sit at a rest and last month, we were sitting in a rest, eating, etc. He says out of the blue, let's go sit over there. There, was a corner booth, out of sight, etc.

I guess I am not accustomed to a guy 35 years old, polish (dif culture) making these gestures, etc. I would just come out and say something, but I can tell he is scared as hell of the topic.

Thanks for your feedback.

European guy living 10+ years in US doesn't seem to me like 'different' culture at all. Well... of course it depends with who will you compare.

So culture has nothing to do with it, is that what you mean ?

rotfl, no this is absolutely normal for straight males in Poland, I do it all the time with other guys.

Man what is you problem? just take him to some private place and feck the sh1t out of him, or the other way round, which ever you like.... have fun... eot

The reason I don't pull him aside is because he pulls back a lot, and talks about his polish family responsibilities and spending time with his Mom, and cousins, etc. He's constantly over at his family's house on the weekends, which makes it difficult to get time with him, although we manage some time together for dinner, drinks, etc.

he is not into you, otherwise he would have done something by now.

oh yeah, that's it.

I think he is probably nervous -being gay in Poland is not widely accepted. There is a pretty big closet over here.

That's exactly what a buddy of mine thinks is going on ... just frustrating on this end and that's why I posted these questions on this site. The common thread with him is 'family commitments', and at 35, I don't totally understand it.

You're confused? HE LIKES YOU. Invite him out for a beer and see what happens, before he gets tired of dropping not so subtle hints.

it doesn't get better. I don't understand it either, but then again I am not Polish.

Have you had a similar experience? The polish family stuff throws me, and the closest person in his life is his mother. He speaks with her a lot, and really no one else. He's told me he speaks with his mom about everything, and my reaction is, 'Why aren't you speaking with a girl or someone you are intimate with at 35?' ....

If you happen to be gay and polish you should stay in the closet to prevent shame of your ethnic people

Take him to a schwitz (if there is one anymore in Chicago). That's the "normal" place where that type of Pole is likely to get physical. (Don't expect much, though; He may think you're too "out" and is hesitant to get involved; not uncommon)