PolishNutjob 1 | 74
1 Mar 2010 #61
Please pass the Fritos
I must now exhibit one of the most shameful facets of the fat male’s personality. The male pig in America, his belly so bloated by beer and Big Macs, has completely lost sight of his own penis. Let me repeat this. The fat man in America is so overstuffed that his stomach extends well past the point at which his vision can observe his lower extremities over the horizon of his belly. The fat man is left with a veritable waistband eclipse of his own penis. He therefore has developed a severe sexual mental disorder in which he comes to view himself as a pregnant woman. Piotr Romanowski, who pioneered much of the early research into this disorder, has labeled the condition FART, or Fat Activated Remote Transsexualism. As such, the FART sufferer is preternaturally drawn to small boys, whom he identifies as the child he once was, and whom he fantasizes as carrying in his own bloated stomach/womb, soon to be reborn.
Left at this, FART would merely be a harmless eccentricity of the jolly fat man. Unfortunately, repeated encounters with slim, lithe boys triggers an infantile sexual state in the fat man – resulting in a partial regression to the oral state of development where the fatty is consumed with a monstrous, insatiable desire to engage in activity which is unmentionable in this august forum. Statistical corroboration of the FART phenomenon is provided by FBI data which reveals that the typical male serial offender is almost always fat. Convicted adult male offenders have an average height of 5’ 9” and an average weight of 295 lbs. Perverted blubber, ladies and gentlemen, perverted blubber.