You're not Polish, you haven't studied the language, you don't understand it. It's all very obvious...
You are soooo totally right. The first thing they told me here in 1967 was how to pretend being Polish in case I end up needing this skill in 2018 while posting at Polishforums.com. So, the FBI sent me this little gem of Polish literary achievement. That's a story about
krolewnie pizdalonie i kondonie samojebie. They also told me that this is never going to be posted on the Internet and, therefore, will serve me well as a proof of my Polish ethnicity. They also mentioned something about
Telimena poem and its x-rated vertion. Before I left the office, I was reminded to quote '
sklepy za zoltymi firankami', and was handed a fake diploma. Later, they sent me a US passport which says that I was born in Warsaw, Poland. F****** liars! They really did a number on me, don't you think?