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Posts by Ken Noddy  

Joined: 30 Apr 2007 / Male ♂
Last Post: 30 Jul 2007
Threads: Total: 2 / Live: 1 / Archived: 1
Posts: Total: 161 / Live: 98 / Archived: 63

Displayed posts: 99 / page 1 of 4
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Ken Noddy   
11 Jun 2007
Love / Why are Polish women so sexy ? [390]

im no pervert but i have one across from me that undresses in her window each night,wow very sexy

You dirty old man!

What's the address? lol.
Ken Noddy   
1 Jun 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

will pretty much put you in their family as future son in law. :)) whether you are
willing or not.. lol

Steady on there P, lol.

Thanks for the advice, I will give it some thought.

ya never know until you make that move.

She is maybe a bit young to be married, she would be in her early 20's I guess, I will take it slow, probably try making eye contact, still painfully difficult, I feel everyone is watching me, I know how they feel on Big Brother!

Here is my latest problem (latest in a long line!).

Went out to a bar on Saturday night with some friends, probably the first time I've been in a bar on a Saturday night for a couple of years. I enjoyed it, and there was a great band playing but the problem is that when there is loud background music, I can't hear what anyone is saying to me unless they stand right beside me and scream into my ear. I've checked and its called 'cocktail party deafness'. Because it has been so long since I was in this sort of situation, I had forgotten how bad it is, plus being softly spoken myself means conversation is fragmented as you have to keep asking the person to repeat themselves and vice versa.

It was also aukward as the four friends all had their girlfriends with them, it really felt like I was intruding. I don't think they really like me all that much, they respect me okay but there isn't really any true friendship. Their girlfriends must think I am really weird, (I basically just stood there quietly listening to the music), they must have felt sorry for me as a couple of times they tried to make polite conversation but it just wasn't happening with all the background noise.

I just don't think these places are a suitable environment for me to meet anyone. These places aren't playing to my strengths, bars full of wildly extroverted people just make me look even duller than I am. It is really limiting my chances of finding someone.
Ken Noddy   
1 Jun 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

we all have our days when we dont like to talk and just have a Quiet day

That's good to know, it is frustrating at times, I see so many opportunities but still a bit too cautious about taking them. Sometimes at the gym, there is a nice girl who I would like to talk to. See seems a very friendly and bubbly person but she is always there with her sister and mother. I feel really self-conscious in the gym at the best of times, all those mirrors and good looking people, but to go up and start talking to her in front of her family is just taking it to an altogether higher level. I just feel it is way too obvious what I'm trying to do.
Ken Noddy   
1 Jun 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Practice, practice, practice.

I am doing this a bit more, talking to anybody and everybody, man or woman, young or old, whether I'm interested in them or not. There are good days and bad days though, times when I don't feel like communicating.
Ken Noddy   
1 Jun 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

I understand, was doing a google search on a couple of things southern mentioned a while back;

To proceed you need skills.You need to know sarging,eye contact,openers,kino,closes,smooth talking,natural you need abilities.Some people have them from nature,others make only mistakes.

Some interesting stuff. I am interested in the psychological side of this and am keen to learn more. I noticed it said that the best way to approach women is without having any fixed result in mind, to 'let the chips fall where they may'. It is when we go into these encountered with a set goal that fear occurs.
Ken Noddy   
1 Jun 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

So for example if you lived for years happily with a girl but something happens and now she does not like you, she will sometimes rewind the whole past and re-write a completely different one, regardless of the actual reality

You're not serious! Why would anyone want to do that?

I've been doing alot of analysizing this past week. I've been going back over some old stuff with a fresh perspective and a few interesting things have occured to me. A few years back there was a girl I kind of fancied (or more accurately lusted after) and only now I'm realising that she tried to hit on me on a couple of occasions. I don't know how or why I didn't pick up these signs at the time. She isn't the sort of girl I am actually interested in starting a relationship with and she's certainly not the type you bring home to meet the parents. She has a bit of a reputation as a maneater and is a bit mad. I think I am looking for an intellectual equal as a partner and I don't think she would fit the bill. I saw her down the street the other day for the first time in a couple of years, there is definately a connection between us but whether alot of men are getting that same connection I don't know. I probably shouldn't even entertain the idea of me and her, it is the old Ken coming to the surface, attracted to the physical looks instead of the person inside. It is difficult to resist these inate male feelings, especially when she has such a killer body!
Ken Noddy   
30 May 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

not good to jump out of the pan and into the fire..

There is a friend of a friend, he had a long time girlfriend, we all thought this was going to end in marriage but they broke up and within a week he was in another relationship. When I saw her I couldn't believe the similarity between the old and the new girlfriend.

Do we have certain 'types' of people that we always go for or was this guy just trying to recreate his previous failed relationship?
Ken Noddy   
30 May 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

even when you break up with someone, take it as learning, to not do it with
the next person, or take it slower, think before you react so to speak..

That makes better sense.

I have friends that have been in what appeared to be serious relationships and they have broken down for whatever reason and then suddenly they seem to be straight into another long term relationship. I just don't understand that. It just seems way too quick after the previous one ended.
Ken Noddy   
30 May 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Yep, there is nothing worse than wondering what if?

So, what now?

I find that whenever I become interested/obsessed (some would say it is a fine line with me!) in someone, everyone and everything else just ceases to be of any importance. I'm not sure if this is altogether healthy but I'm pretty certain that I am not the sort of person who would ever cheat on a girl, which I guess is good. I think I would either give them my 100% undivided attention or we would break up. Some have given advice here that the best way to counteract this is to date 2 or 3 girls at the same time.

This doesn't seem right to me and I am keen to understand how widespread this is. Is it mainly men that do this, or are women as guilty? Is this whole approach ficticious?
Ken Noddy   
30 May 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

stepheng

Yeah, seems to be lots of parallels between our stories.

What totally knocked me was when she approached me and we started talking one day.

I guess I took that as an indicator of interest

This seems to be an all too frequent occurance (this misunderstanding has arisen on several other threads) and I have enquired before as to why this is. Is it because Polish girls are more friendly than girls from UK? Maybe yes, maybe no. It could also be that we are just too eager to jump at the first sign of affection. I'm not sure what it is. It could well be a bit of desperation or a fear of missing a golden opportunity.

The signals I was getting just before I finally asked the girl appeared to be very clear indeed and I'm quite relieved that I found out immediately that this was not the case. It stopped me before my hopes had a chance to get too high.

Someone told me once that a mistake is only a mistake if we don't learn from it. This wasn't a mistake then, it was an opportunity to learn a bit more about ourselves.
Ken Noddy   
28 May 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

It's improving. I am confident that I'm a really decent person if thats what you mean, if others don't think that I'm nice, fair enough but they are mistaken and have some sort of sterotype in their minds. I can't do anything about that, I can only control what I do and what I think. I am not going to radically change my personality. I am always going to be shy and reserved, I am comfortable with that, it is an intrinsic part of who I am. This where I fell down in the past. I felt the only way I could succeed was to be this extrovert, life and soul of the party sort of person. I couldn't do it and then I started feeling depressed and believed that I was useless and that there must be something wrong with me. Now I can see that I don't have to be this way, people like me just the way I am. I have strengths in other areas and I am going to concentrate on those from now on.

So, to answer your question, yes I am confident.
Ken Noddy   
28 May 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

alot of people say, its the nice guys who finish last

Yeah, I've always thought that.

my brother is friendly, he talks to all the neighbors
and everyone at work

I know what you mean, there are a couple of people I know are like that, they seem to be friends with absolutely everyone. I will work on being more like that.
Ken Noddy   
28 May 2007
Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Ultimately it is for the girl to decide who to get attached seriously to, and for that my friend you can only make your bid, just like the other guys… nobody can “steal” a girl from anybody… just make a very strong and convincing case for yourself…

I understand. As long as a give any opportunity my best shot, I can do no more and it is up to the girl to decide.

The kind of girl you got yourself involved with, however, is never alone and completely free.

I can look back at the 'old me' now and see that I was very easily put off by this situation. I would be interested in someone but then see several guys also interested and I would give up any further pursuit. It was partly me feeling inferior to these other guys and thinking one of them must be better boyfriend material than me. I just didn't understand what I do now. Its just one big game really and its only now I'm finding the instructions on how to play it.