moonmustang
31 Oct 2007
moonmustang
4 Nov 2007
Love / AVERAGE AGE FOR MEN TO MARRY in POLAND [33]
Do you mean in people getting married and thinking if it doesn't work they will just throw it away?
I grew up in Texas and in the small minded part of the world I was in you were pressured to get married before 25 otherwise you must be a loser. I have learned immensely from my demised marriages (2 of them I'm sad to say it took me to be clear about myself) - but I'll say that in neither case did I take my vows lightly but the bottom line was that I had not done the necessary work on myself to be rooted in my own happiness before committing to someone. I would not say that people that I've known to marry and divorce in America were nonchalant about their commitments but they are often conforming with social expectations and graces rather than boldly proclaiming (or even exploring perhaps) what happiness and true depth really meant.
As in previous threads where you and I have exchanged, I see that "not taking marriage seriously" condition as being a fallout of the fading lines between the man and woman in roles in a marriage.
There's definitely widespread lack of respect for marriage vows in the U.S.,
Do you mean in people getting married and thinking if it doesn't work they will just throw it away?
I grew up in Texas and in the small minded part of the world I was in you were pressured to get married before 25 otherwise you must be a loser. I have learned immensely from my demised marriages (2 of them I'm sad to say it took me to be clear about myself) - but I'll say that in neither case did I take my vows lightly but the bottom line was that I had not done the necessary work on myself to be rooted in my own happiness before committing to someone. I would not say that people that I've known to marry and divorce in America were nonchalant about their commitments but they are often conforming with social expectations and graces rather than boldly proclaiming (or even exploring perhaps) what happiness and true depth really meant.
As in previous threads where you and I have exchanged, I see that "not taking marriage seriously" condition as being a fallout of the fading lines between the man and woman in roles in a marriage.
moonmustang
5 Nov 2007
Love / AVERAGE AGE FOR MEN TO MARRY in POLAND [33]
Yes - first marriage he committed adultry with his best friend's wife - there is no forgiving.
The main thing I've come to understand is that many people have "successfully" unfulfilled marriages and stay together for the motivation of not getting divorced rather they settle with each other and don't live fully.
Sometimes I think people who have been boyfriend/girlfriend for years and years have it right (while not smiled upon by religious doctrine and is also a great hiding place for commitmentphobes) - because they have a certain flexibility to walk and in ways I believe it may shift their relationship from complacency to action in keeping the relationship alive.
I've grown up around a lot of people who had successful marriages because they married under the impression that divorce was only an option under extraordinary circumstances such as adultery, abuse, etc.
Yes - first marriage he committed adultry with his best friend's wife - there is no forgiving.
The main thing I've come to understand is that many people have "successfully" unfulfilled marriages and stay together for the motivation of not getting divorced rather they settle with each other and don't live fully.
Sometimes I think people who have been boyfriend/girlfriend for years and years have it right (while not smiled upon by religious doctrine and is also a great hiding place for commitmentphobes) - because they have a certain flexibility to walk and in ways I believe it may shift their relationship from complacency to action in keeping the relationship alive.