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Posts by ImOkHowAreYou  

Joined: 23 Feb 2024 / Female ♀
Last Post: 29 Feb 2024
Threads: 1
Posts: 4
From: Wales UK
Speaks Polish?: Poorly
Interests: 19yo Polish citizen/ UK resident in Uni

Displayed posts: 5
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ImOkHowAreYou   
23 Feb 2024
Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]

I have a question, and I don't know where to begin to seek the answer.
I am a 19 year old Polish citizen, who has lived in the UK, since I was 7 years old. My birth father still lives in Poland. He and my mother were never married. My mother is a Polish citizen who came to the UK when I was 5 and married another Polish citizen. My stepfather never adopted me. They had two children together once married. When I was growing up, my mother refused to petition my birth father for a Child Maintenance Agreement, as she said that she didn't want him involved in my life. There were times where I had to go without things, but I trusted her judgment at the time.

I am now in year two at Uni in Wales and receive little help from my mother and stepfather, as I have two young kids that they support and they are experiencing financial issues themselves. There was never anything put aside for my university education.

In January, I got a small job through the university, part time, a lot of work (food service) and not enough to pay my financial obligations without cutting corners like no public transport and I am receiving help from a local food bank. I've always been a very good student and the job has forced me to cut back on studying, which really stresses me out. I'm working on a biology degree and intend on an advanced degree, but the cost makes me feel helpless. Is there anything that would obligate my birth father in Poland to pay any amount to compensate for never paying any support? Would I do that through Polish courts as he lives there and I am a citizen? It seems like from what I have read that would be my best chance.

My mother still does not want to be involved so this is something I have to initiate myself, but I believe she would cooperate with any necessary information once the process was started. She is a very proud woman and does not want him or his family to think they cannot provide enough, but I don't care about that. The truth is they cannot.

I would really appreciate any information you could give me. Thank you for your time.
ImOkHowAreYou   
23 Feb 2024
Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]

My mom always made it out like she was too proud to ask for anything. She made a point about raising me singlehandedly (even tho she did not have a job and relied financially on my stepdad) and never talking a penny from him, which would have been fine if she had actually been able to provide for me but growing up I was lacking a lot, and nowadays they spend extravagantly on my siblings, my stepdads kids, and then they're broke. Though I don't know my dad's finances he does take holidays based on his FB. Communication between us is non existent right now but before I was 18 we'd have a phone call 2x a year Christmas and my birthday, and he had promised monthly money for my uni but then never sent a penny
ImOkHowAreYou   
24 Feb 2024
Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]

@Atch
With all due respect I posted this thread under law, not under family counseling, and frankly you sound like a deadbeat. I don't need a lecture from a grown man telling me, a 19-year-old, that I need to suck it up and continue to work myself to exhaustion, rather than have my birth father, who's never contributed a thing to my life, except ejaculate, continue to go on holidays and post them on facebook without so much as a text message to me.

Furthermore, under Polish law, as I understand it, he could someday come after me for support. His wife as well. I plan on being quite successful and well on my way. Also, whether or not he can afford it, becomes a moot point under Polish law. His parents, my grandparents, who were part of my life for about five years, and then faded out, will also be responsible for his debt, as I understand it. I may not get it now, but when they pass on, or he passes on, I will. We're talking about law here. I don't need your advice about anything else. Thank you for your efforts, misguided as they were.
ImOkHowAreYou   
29 Feb 2024
Law / A Complicated Child Support Question (Polish citizen / UK) [24]

Jesus. I live alone and support myself fully with a job, and I've had a job since I was 16. I am a Polish citizen with a Polish passport. Yes I am a woman. Yes I KNOW I can do whatever I damn want without help, because I always have. I don't think it is a virtue though to refuse what I am legally owed just because of a pride thing which makes my life harder than it has to be just for the benefit of getting to claim I was self made some day. My self worth is not so fragile