How to get to know a polish guy better?

I beg to differ...for some, yes it is easy but others find this fear of rejection to be a massive obstacle to overcome. Speaking from personal experience I find anything like this so difficult and I really do understand you're situation liiii. It took me ages and ages to pluck up the courage to talk to the girl I liked and even though it didn't work out, the sense of accomplishment I felt from actually facing my fears outweighed the disappointment of not being with her.


This may be positive news for you, he may well like you very much but is just uncertain of the whole situation. He possibly does get the hint that you like him but is maybe doubting his own judgements and has this fear of rejection also. Taking it slow could be better, certainly I would be put off by a girl being a bit too forward and always taking the initiative (the chance would be a fine thing! :). I can't speak for him, but as probably the shyest and most introverted man on the planet I feel I can speak from a position of some authority!

The fact that you like this guy is actually positive news for me as I always thought that girls only went for bold and extravert men. This gives me new hope, thanks.

This is completely something that is happening to me right now. For weeks I realised a close Polish male friend of mine was getting a little more 'friendly' always hugging me and poking me in the side, touching my leg, making a beeline for me when he saw me etc. I didn't think anything of it though, just thought it was nice to have a hug etc. Then a close friend of his told me that basically, he adores me and I thought back over the previous weeks and realised I should have noticed this. I thought about it after a night out where he admitted his feelings in a round about way and two days later I told him I felt the same way - only to be told his ex girl had been in touch and she wanted to get back with him. I told him I felt stupid for admitting my feelings but he said not to feel like that because he didn't want to get back with his girlfriend...but he did want to talk to her when he was in Poland. So he's due back from Poland soon and hopefully I will find out what is happening. (Which will probably be that he is back with her!!!).

Liiii, I understand what you mean about knowing nothing about your guy. This guy I am on about doesn't give information away freely, to find out anything you have to ask him directly and it feels like pulling teeth - but I find this with different guys from different cultures - and, if I am honest, I am the same way, I don't give much away.

I actually think you might have to blunt with him, tell him how you feel to get some kind of reaction, if his reaction is negative then at least you will know and can move on. If it's positive then you will be feeling great and glad you were blunt. Life is too short to deny yourself a chance at happiness! :-)

Why doesn't this place have proper smilies???

Thx for all your posts and advice

yesterday, I received a long e-mail from a guy I hardly know, explaining that he would like to know me better (what a coincidence:-)

he said he finally had the courage to write me and that he wanted to know how i felt about him...
my answer disapointed him I think, (actually I did not even really notice him around (but ofcourse didn't tell him that this way)

but al least he was thankfull that I was honest and that now he knew where he stood, and what I felt...

this is like perfect timing, a hint for me to do the same with my Polish guy

he is still in Poland now (unable to be reached)
but I'm preparing myself to have a 'serious talk' with him when he comes back... or write him a nice 'serious' email...
still not easy for me, but I need to take the chance

Maybe you should not discount this guy.....what harm would be done by getting to know him better (you might actually end up liking the guy). Through my own experience, I've had men right before my eyes, willing to put forth an effort, but I was blinded by a passion for someone else, who was not willing to offer the same. I ended up having a major regret in my younger days, when I blew off a guy, because I liked another....the tables turned about a year later, and I actually started to see the original guy in a new light....by that time it was too late.....he had someone else and I missed out. What I'm saying is, don't become so fixated on someone who is just a "maybe" when there is someone else who could be a "likely". The fact that he wrote to you and said he wanted to get to know you better, IMO, shows great character. Something to think about. Good luck! :)

I red that topic, cuz im in similar situation. Hmm... if he wrote to u long nice mail, thats cool... but dont believe in all. Its better to suppose even the worst situation as Ken said before. I hope that ull have great time with him but i know from my own experience that better is stay calm and dont expect nothing.

Good luck, i think i need that too ^^ Distance is ****! Ugh

Very wise words from such a young person! ;) ****listen to her, Liiii, because she speaks the truth****


Could also be said for all things in life.....expectations lead to disappointment....when we keep our minds open to whatever the future has to offer, we end up getting what we need (not necessarily what we want, which incidentily is not a bad thing). More times than not, I'm grateful for the things I didn't get that I wanted (especially when it comes to relationships....God has definitely looked out for me) :)

Ha, exactly ^^ My method for life, really comfortable btw:)

Great philosophy to live by! :)

Hi I'm back... holidays....

To give a small update...

*the guy who wrote me the email saying he wanted to know me better, kept writing me mails everyday (and still does)
I told him I didn't really know him so he could write me, and because he went on holidays and after that I did, we didn't meet for 2 months...

but we wrote e-mails
Last week I met him for like5 minutes or so, and now he wrote me that he is absolutly crazy about me and that the mails I wrote made him hope for more (although I didn't write anything 'special')

I just feel he is "too regular guy" for me, and he doesn't have original ideas or never took initiatives like go somewhere special or so, bit "nerdy"..? .... don't know how to say it... I just didn't feel "the click" I guess

I'll try to see him next week... just to see

*On the other hand, my Polish guy, I still like him a lot...
met him once or twice since last post here... and it was fun, i feel really relaxed/comfortable around him (I mean as ok as I can be with my hearth beating ;-)

BUT i still have no idea what he thinks
and he doesnt' quickly propose to go for a drink or so...
I hope to meet him tomorrow, he says he is meeting a friend but will call when it is possible to join me...

situation is still so confusing, why isn't the polish guy the one who writes me mails all the time???

ME

Maybe he can't write.

Mmm why dont you have some one give him a nice personal letter on your behalf..

actually I don't know anyone who knows him as well, no common friends,...which makes it hard to pass a letter
I did send him a postcard from holidays, to his work (don't even know where he lives)... but 'neutral' text

bad luck for me... just got an sms from my polish guy saying he is very sorry but has to finish an important job at work zo he won"t be able te meet me (nor his friend).....

shall i kindly propose a new date next week?
I guess I should...

Yeah, do it!

I cant say what you should do.. but i can imagine what i could do on your place... i wouldnt play much clear... i would send him sms for example: (i will use name Jack)

Hello Jack.. Im sorry that im boderring you. I just have some bad moment.. i feel really bad and i need to talk to someone... i just had hope that you have little bit time for talk little... I dont know why im sending you this sms.. maybe i shouldnt sorry... if you are busy no worries dont need to answer, sorry for problem Jack, kisses

propaqbly he would ask whats happened... than i would call or send sms... that for example... i have quarrels with parents all the time... and i needed to talk with someone , or go out from home, i need to change my mood , i send this sms to him bcz i dont know why he always make me laugh, he have some special power or something:P

other option would be... i would send him sms (its good if he have knowledge about pc) that i have some terrible problem with pc... i have some important documents on which i was working half year and now its all can be gone... bcz of viruses or something... or that i need to instal something... i would write that i really need help... that i dont know nothing about pc... and i was wondering if he could check it i would very very appreciate! and pay back- (i dont know how to write it, when he would fix my pc i would invite him on beer to pub or buy beer in home we would drink and talk..)

other option you could say that your birthday are in next saturday and you are going to pub with friends and you want invite him... even if someone from your friends would be too much drunk and tell him thats is not your birthdays he wouldnt be mad but nice suprised.

later i would start to flirt with him maybe by sms... but slowly... you could just start add some simple words on beggining like for joke.. hello my favorite polish boy, macho man, hot boy- on the beggining all like for joke, its hard to write something when im not in situation... i think you shouldnt say nothing directly... you should flirt .. for he feel something but wasnt sure... tempt him:P make he will say something first... you can start to flirt with him and later when you will see that he starting be interested you can say something like : you know jeck im getting from someone some strage emails... some guy want meet me etc etc. im thinking about meet him... its interesting to meet someone new... just im a bit scared i hope that wont be some pervert

oki its all my ideas... for now:P!

Im sorry for my patetic english i just spend so much time to read this all that i couldnt insist to not write nothing even with so bad english like i have:P

Now you know what it's like for us men :p ;)

Zarnijar,

You are brilliant! You should write an advice column....

And your English isn't so bad -- in fact, it's rather cute. Many girls like an accent, dontcha know ;)

Just walk up and tell him his the most attractive man you have ever met in your life! All the above is just beating round the bush

I think Lii shouldnt tell about her feelings to him...

bcz its often scaring guys... i think they like to feel like hunters... often when they see that they can have girl easy they are loosing interest about her...

and from other site if he dont feel anything to her he will be polite and say:
Lii you are great girl i like you very much but i dont want/cant start any serious relationship here bcz i will back to Poland soon bla bla bla.... and its can be last time when she will see him...

and if Lii will do like i said she will have time to make friendship with him (she will have chance for seduce him) and even if they will have serious talk about her feelings later he will not stop meeting her (i think so) bcz they will be already friends....

I'm thinking a lot about this sentence.... and tonight I'll meet the "likely" guy... We will see what happens, I think he is a nice guy but I don't feel more than that...

But feelings can change...

I would like to hear more people who where in a similar situation, were you change from being friends to "something more", is it possible?? Is the first impression you get from someone not the most important than?


Thanks for your advice...
I'm trying to keep in touch by mail and sms (with this "maybe" polish guy)...
but did not dare to put it this way (yet)...
but it's true, he is like the only polish guy I know here, and he knows that, so ofcourse he's my favorite one, he can see it as a joke (or more) but that way everything is still possible :-)

I'll keep you posted

:-)


I like this idea...

Well, I don't know if this counts....

I was in the park with my daughter and I saw this big, football-player, type of guy. Not really my type. And then he yelled at a mother who let her son get too close to the swing he was pushing. So I said gently "She couldn't help it. It happens."

And, later, he went up to the mother and apologized to her. And, all of a sudden, I was really impressed. I went up to him and said "You did a really nice thing." And we got to talking and I changed my perception. I saw him as a very attractive man, simply because he had shown something noble in his character.

So I say, yes, your first impressions can change when you see something beautiful in that person' s character, or when you know more about them.

well... after having had this drink... I'm even getting more sure that i won't "fall in love" with the "likely" ..... guy :-)

BUT I jumped in the air because the polish guy asked me to join him for an evening out! yess! yesss!
but problem is, I'm busy that night so bad timing again...
hope he proposes a new day...

after reading all this here, i just wanna say Good Luck lii.

i always thought that guys have easier....

they do don't they?????

it's what i was thinking... but i asked many guys and they told me that they think girls have easier...it's all about how to start conversation first...

women have easier. IMHO

women?

LOL are you kidding?????

No i'm not


I'm one of them.