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How to get to know a polish guy better?


liii  
15 May 2007 /  #1
I met a polish guy in my evening courses . He lives in my neighbourhoud and he walked with me back home (not to where I live but to where our ways split) for 3 or 4 times. We have nice talks (for 10 minutes) I've live in Pl for few months so its our favorit subject.

The courses are finished now but I do want to know him better!
I have his e-mail address an he answer my mail, but never very personal. I don't know where he lives or have no phone number.

I might see him next week (exam) but i hope this wont be the last time.
I'm too shy and afraid to ask him out, and I do hoped he would ask me...but not...
What should I do?
Goonie 8 | 242  
15 May 2007 /  #2
ask him out, what's the worst that can happen...

guys appreciate it and admire confident women!
OP liii  
15 May 2007 /  #3
I think in my mails it is quite clear i want that
(but i never asked direct, difficult to ask in a mail right?)...
Goonie 8 | 242  
15 May 2007 /  #4
be blunt :)

want me to call him for ya ;)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
15 May 2007 /  #5
lol. If you want, I can call him and pretend I'm you and get a date for you. :)

Seriously, men don't pick up on hints. If you feel too shy to ask him out face to face, ask him out in an email. It might seem like he knows what you want but he probably doesn't. You have to spell it out.
sledz 23 | 2,250  
15 May 2007 /  #6
Seriously, men don't pick up on hints

huh????? lol

I have to agree with Goonie

guys like it when a woman hits on them.

liii, I`d say go for it, and if he doesnt respond then at least you will know
how he feels..... then you can move on to a guy that appreciates
a confident woman....like me:)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
15 May 2007 /  #7
huh????? lol

It's true. Men don't always pick up on hints. A woman has to be forward, don't you think?
sledz 23 | 2,250  
15 May 2007 /  #8
Yes, most guys walk around with there heads in the clouds,

I love it when a woman is forward, it fires me up!
OP liii  
16 May 2007 /  #9
Ok

I did not ask him out yet....

but I knew he was leaving for Poland for a week or so, and asked him to bring some Polish food for me..
he said he will try to remember..
we 'll see when he comes back

I kind of see it as a test (which may be not a good idea maybe..)

o yes, another thing I remarked is that during our conversations he always asked a lot about me (work, holidays, weekends, friend,..) and I did not realy have a chance to ask a lot about him.... don't know if he 'avoids' this or is just too curious....

he got me some polish sweets... we talked and laughed a little, but i did not ask him to join for a drink

in two days we will see us once again, last course,

last chance?
xXlisaXx 8 | 182  
21 May 2007 /  #10
Go for it girl wot have you got to lose. If you don't do anything your regret it for the rest of your life.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
21 May 2007 /  #11
he got me some polish sweets

That's great! I think that's a good sign.
OP liii  
24 May 2007 /  #12
so... we went out for a drink :)-
not just the two of us but with some other friends :(

then we walked home again and said we would keep in touch by mail...

pfff
sigh

so i don't know now if i want to be the first to mail (still kind of too shy anyway)
and realy i do'nt know what he thinks about me, and I start to think and analyse way too much...!! (making list in my head of pro and contra...)

i just want to know him a bit better... and then decide maybe to become more than friends
(and even now i don't know IF i want to know him better... bit confusing i know)

..if i ask him out now, or maybe i'll scare him away or maybe he ...pff i don't know....
southern 75 | 7,096  
24 May 2007 /  #13
Unzip his trousers.
ewa  
24 May 2007 /  #14
Liii, I am Polish girl. I think you shouldn't hit on him directly. I agree, that man loves when woman is forward and sometimes it can make them "fire", but only for short period (even girl is beautiful).

My advice is to look at him in a special way, with admiration. Say him very innocent compliment. You can also suggest a meeting, but neutral. Don't say that you like him! Show it a little, but don't say. But don t loss your chance. Polish guys are really really good. They can be very mannish but also careful and romantic and very often they are honest and belive in "one love":)
southern 75 | 7,096  
24 May 2007 /  #15
Polish girl. I think you shouldn't hit on him directly. I agree, that man loves when woman is forward and sometimes it can make them "fire", but only for short period (even girl is beautiful).
My advice is to look at him in a special way, with admiration. Say him very innocent compliment. You can also suggest a meeting, but neutral. Don't say that you like him! Show it a little, but don't say

Thank you,very enlightening.I have noticed these tendencies in polish girls,first time I see them so well written.
OP liii  
29 May 2007 /  #16
Thank you Ewa...

I think what I'm truying right now is more or less your approach...
step by step...

Now I just need some neutral invitation then !! :-)

Anyway, as i only have his e-mail addres, no phone or adress i would not dare to right 'i like you' in a mail...
Ken Noddy 2 | 161  
29 May 2007 /  #17
I'm too shy and afraid to ask him out, and I do hoped he would ask me...but not...

then we walked home again and said we would keep in touch by mail...

and realy i do'nt know what he thinks about me, and I start to think and analyse way too much...!! (making list in my head of pro and contra...)

Been reading this thread with interest. I too am very shy and can certainly empathsise with your situation. Maybe all along he has been hoping you would make the first move.

How about sending him an email and suggesting that you meet up somewhere, just for a chat. Its not a marriage proposal, nothing like that, just two people who are friends. Thats what friends do, isn't it?

Trust your own judgment and take it slowly but I think it is best if you take control of this and make this first move. Believe me, I know it isn't easy but you will feel great that you have tried, even if it doesn't work out.
alan_uk - | 7  
7 Jun 2007 /  #18
Come on Liii, how are things progressing. we all hope wish you every success!
Teng 1 | 14  
7 Jun 2007 /  #19
If I was you, will ask him to go out for a meal. Don't miss this chance, or else other girl will take it.

Act now, which is more important. I can understand how do your feel.

I do like a polish men, before but then i missed and can't see him but i will trying to visit poland one day one. Hope can meet him.
liiii  
19 Jun 2007 /  #20
Hi

I'm back :)

My progress? kind of none...I guess

i did ask him out for a drink (by mail) and he said he was very busy with deadlines and so and that he would mail me the week after...

did not hear him yet, so I mailed him again ....

waiting waiting

Yes yes, today we finaly went out for a drink

he invited me
but
there were 5 of his collegues/friends at the table so we did not really talk a lot...
:((

and now he is off to Poland for 3 weeks...
:(((

a positive thing is that he sent me his phonenumber by mail (its a local nbr so i don't know if he will read his sms or so in Poland)

anyway, I don't even know what i should write to him...

I still have the same feeling as in the beginning, I want to get to know this polish guy better... feels like i still don't know him enough

Me
Amathyst 19 | 2,702  
20 Jun 2007 /  #21
there were 5 of his collegues/friends at the table so we did not really talk a lot...

Well, if he didnt think you were pretty he certainly wouldnt have invited you out in the company of work colleagues

a positive thing is that he sent me his phonenumber by mail (its a local nbr so i don't know if he will read his sms or so in Poland)

He probably wont use his phone in Poland, he'll more than likely have a Polish number, but you could send one text saying hope you have a nice holiday and see if he responds,
Ken Noddy 2 | 161  
20 Jun 2007 /  #22
I guess it's good that at least you got the chance to see him again, okay, it wasn't one to one but taking it slowly may be the best way forward. I don't know, I'm not really the one to give advice on these matters.
peterweg 37 | 2,319  
20 Jun 2007 /  #23
To be honest, if he was keen. he would have shown a lot more interest.
slwkk 2 | 228  
20 Jun 2007 /  #24
Yeah, I'm afraid peter is right...
Amathyst 19 | 2,702  
20 Jun 2007 /  #25
Quoting: peterweg
To be honest, if he was keen. he would have shown a lot more interest.

Yeah, I'm afraid peter is right...

Arhh but would you give your phone number to a potential stalker? Maybe he's shy maybe he's gay (might have taken her along to meet work colleagues as a cover)...
Ken Noddy 2 | 161  
21 Jun 2007 /  #26
Maybe he's shy maybe he's gay (might have taken her along to meet work colleagues as a cover)...

There are a million possible maybe's, but you should probably prepare yourself for the worst. It sounds like you have made it quite clear that you like him and he is either not getting the hint (we can be a bit dim in this respect) or more realistically (and painfully) he doesn't feel the same way about you.

You really have to decide for yourself what to do next, you can continue taking it slowly, building up the friendship and hoping it leads to something more serious or grasp the bull by the horns and find out exactly where you stand. There isn't a right or wrong answer here, each to their own as they say.

A thought has just occured to me and it would be interesting to hear others views; do people ever change their minds about someone romantically? By this I mean that initially they may not be interested, but then it suddenly dawns on them that this person is right for them. I had always believed in the 'love at first sight' theory until the other day when a girl I am friendly with, who, I admit, I never previously considered attractive suddenly appeared in a different light. Maybe it happens, but trying to force someone to like you when they just don't doesn't work either and it is a really tricky situation to guage. My heart goes out to you and I hope you can find a solution. Your own happiness is the key in all of this, please remember that.
ukinpoland 5 | 338  
21 Jun 2007 /  #27
Maybe he has someone back in Poland?

Could be an ex and he is not sure of his feelings for her/him(got to be PC correct).
moire 4 | 40  
21 Jun 2007 /  #28
men are realistic for relationship. I guess he does know you like him. but if you two cannt stay together in the near future, most men wouldnt like to have long distance relationship, unless they totally fall for somebody.

from this point of view, he is a good guy who doent want to play with your feelings.
maybe you should have a clear and serious talk with him, it is a torture for you to guess all the possiblities and wait for something never happens.
liiii  
22 Jun 2007 /  #29
Arhh but would you give your phone number to a potential stalker?

I really hope he does not see me as as stalker... but then again, would you give your phonenmbr?

Maybe he's shy maybe he's gay

I think he really is shy, he is not very extravert...

and gay, well, I did not think about that possibility yet, but you never know do you?

It sounds like you have made it quite clear that you like him and he is either not getting the hint (we can be a bit dim in this respect) or more realistically (and painfully) he doesn't feel the same way about you.

well... did I make it clear enough?I don't know (I don't think I'm an expert at getting hints either...)
... and if he doesn't feel the same....

Well, if he didnt think you were pretty he certainly wouldnt have invited you out in the company of work colleagues

Well, maybe he was just being polite, you know, asking me for a drink because I wanted to, but avoiding getting too much involved.
in his mail he said he would not be able to stay long (but that his friends were nice...) , thats not really positive is it

A thought has just occured to me and it would be interesting to hear others views; do people ever change their minds about someone romantically?

well, i have friend who was playing in an orchestre with a girl he liked, she did not notice him for a few months, although he made a lot of effort to be noticed, to be sitting in her neighbourhoud etc, when she finaly noticed him it took another few months before they actually went out together, and now they are hapily married expecting their first baby...

so, it is possible...
but how long should you try huh?

men are realistic for relationship. I guess he does know you like him. but if you two cannt stay together in the near future, most men wouldnt like to have long distance relationship, unless they totally fall for somebody.

wel to be realistic, he is in poland for three weeks, then i will leave for my holidays, and he will end his stay here at the end of the year (to return back to poland look for another job) this actually is just a few months away

as time flies, there is really not a lot of time to take a lot of time...

one more thing, before he left after our drink he said to enjoy my holidays (which are only in august) and he is only away till mid july, which would give us a possibility to meet in between those... he did not mention this..

maybe you should have a clear and serious talk with him, it is a torture for you to guess all the possiblities and wait for something never happens.

true, but easier said that done....

pfff
moire 4 | 40  
22 Jun 2007 /  #30
true, but easier said that done

not that difficult :) I did it twice in my life. The first time i was refused politely by a guy whom i didnt like that much; the second time i was refused too, because i was moving to denmark in two month. But i like that guy so much, i keep writting him, and visitting him in Germany and Poland. Now he is mine, he is willing to follow me all over the world. we are planning moving together and get married in few months.

i had bad time during the last year, but now i am very happy.
make your effort, then you will not regret.

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