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Love my polish girlfriend alot but under pressure from family


rock - | 460  
29 Dec 2008 /  #31
Is being a habitual liar part of the muslim religion?

Don't worry !

No muslims will be existing in the world if USA and Israel go on working :((
OP lovewithpolish 1 | 4  
29 Dec 2008 /  #32
she is not wasting time with me.

i am still with her because i love her.

family is important for me but love with her is deep. that's the problem

i don't someone to give me negetive suggestion.

i had enough already.
Krakowianka 1 | 243  
29 Dec 2008 /  #33
i don't someone to give me negetive suggestion.

i had enough already.

How do you want a positive spin on the situation you've created. Lieing isn't positive.

No muslims will be existing in the world if USA and Israel go on working :((

Maybe if we got rid of the whole middle east, there would finally be peace on earth.
Shawn_H  
29 Dec 2008 /  #34
family is important for me but love with her is deep. that's the problem

Then, make a decision. Family, or her.
polishgirltx  
29 Dec 2008 /  #35
family is important for me but love with her is deep.

so have the guts to tell your family about her... stop throwing empty words and prove how strong your feelings are...
OP lovewithpolish 1 | 4  
29 Dec 2008 /  #36
ok... THANKS EVERYONE....

no good response from anyone.. please now only reply if you are in same situation like me. If not please don't want to hear any suggestion..
tomek - | 134  
29 Dec 2008 /  #37
Then, make a decision. Family, or her.

Yeah get baptised and stuff and if you're decent you'll be accepted by her family. I have the same problem to a degree as my girl is orthodox christian and I'm catholic. We will have to chew it out some day, but I wouldn't mind changing religion.
torajima - | 18  
29 Dec 2008 /  #38
Is being a habitual liar part of the muslim religion? 2 years is an awful lot of time to be feeding lies to your family, and especially to this girl wasting time with you.

You should tell you parents who you really are, how this "Modern muslim" spends Christian holidays with a POLISH girl. Stop being a sissy and man up.

Then tell your girl about how you lied to her for 2 years. I think the situation will resolve itself once she finds out you are a sissy & liar.

Ouch. It's really easy to tell people to take on difficult situations but most of the people I know who do so have had times in their lives when they've been on the other side of the fence. A little stern logic and frank opinion seems more constructive than name calling.

polishgirltx [Moderator]

lovewithpolish:

family is important for me but love with her is deep.

so have the guts to tell your family about her... stop throwing empty words and prove how strong your feelings are...

Amen to that. I think overall the opinions expressed here say you should try to talk to your parents. It will be difficult but you are the only one who knows if your love for this girl is worth the effort. If she is, good luck to you two.
tomek - | 134  
29 Dec 2008 /  #39
stop throwing empty words and prove how strong your feelings are...

and they will beat the shit out of him pack him in a plane and marry him in pakistan. this boy says his familymembers are not moderate muslims.
torajima - | 18  
29 Dec 2008 /  #40
ok... THANKS EVERYONE....

no good response from anyone.. please now only reply if you are in same situation like me. If not please don't want to hear any suggestion..

If you think there hasn't been any advice in the messages posted here then it seems like you're just fishing for pity. Regardless, hope you come to a successful resolution to your problems.
polishgirltx  
29 Dec 2008 /  #41
no good response from anyone.. please now only reply if you are in same situation like me. If not please don't want to hear any suggestion..

i wish everybody on this forum posted whatever is on MY mind...

and they will beat the shit out of him pack him in a plane and marry him in pakistan. this boy says his familymembers are not moderate muslims.

life's brutal...

:)
mephias 11 | 304  
29 Dec 2008 /  #42
Why everyone so offensive against him ? He is at least trying to find a solution. Even writing someting on this forum is a good sign.

It seems the men who leave their girl friends or who is indecisive about the relationship executed in Poland :).

Is this something never happening between Polish couples ?

I am sure not...
polishgirltx  
29 Dec 2008 /  #43
He is at least trying to find a solution.

he's not trying to find a solution... he looks for approval of his poor decisions and lies...
dtaylor 9 | 823  
29 Dec 2008 /  #44
I think we can all agree that if love is to be true, then the truth needs to be said by both parties. I can understand why this might be difficult, but if you love that girl, you must be open, and that means telling your family. At the end of the day, you are your own man, do what makes you happy, as this gf could be yours for life, while family might not like it for little period of time, but if they LOVE you, then they wil stand by you.
mephias 11 | 304  
29 Dec 2008 /  #45
I think we can all agree that if love is to be true, then the truth needs to be said by both parties.

Thank you dtaylor.
I exactly share your view and this would also be my suggestion.
dtaylor 9 | 823  
29 Dec 2008 /  #46
I spent the last year with a polish lass who didnt want me to be known by her parents, i understood why, but still, if you love someone enough...
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
30 Dec 2008 /  #47
I want to go back too my country so, i can have better future there. My father is a well known MP and industilist who want me to take over his industry when he retire but if i am with my GF i've to stay in Europe forever..

In the end I have a feeling that the money will win out - you band the word love about freely, I wonder if you actually know the meaning of this word.

Your girlfriends family have welcomed you with open arms in to their home at a special time of the year and you have not even acknowledged your girlfriend to your family! Not the behaviour of a man in love, you make her like some dirty little secret and that she is not worthy of being a part of your family.

As for prejudice, is it not the prejudice of your family that keeps you from telling them about this girl you so call love. You should examine your own culture and then see who is the more prejudice!

How did u figure out that he/she hates Muslim or Pakistani, she/he didnt say anything like that, she/he just shared her/his opinions about the topic.

I was wondering where I wrote that too.. By the way - I told you he wasn't Turkish :-P
szarlotka 8 | 2,209  
30 Dec 2008 /  #48
If you love her then tell your parents and take the consequences. If you prefer a glittering career in daddy's business then take that and let the poor girl go.

Stop being a muppet
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
30 Dec 2008 /  #49
If you love her then tell your parents and take the consequences.

He's having too much fun being a "modern muslim" to do that! As said before Pan Pie, when the time is right he will go back home and marry and this poor girl will be left at best broken hearted at worse unmarried and with a child!

He is NEVER going to tell his parents, because as much as he thinks he loves her, his culture is more important and she is merely a distraction whilst he is away from home.
morella 11 | 65  
30 Dec 2008 /  #50
I was wondering where I wrote that too.. By the way - I told you he wasn't Turkish :-P

Yeah u told..But it was good to feel like being at home even for a minute :D
mephias 11 | 304  
30 Dec 2008 /  #51
I am still sure many Turkish guy won't live such a situation in a similar case. They can hear some advice from their parents and still can do whatever they want without any fear of isolation.
kamakama - | 3  
5 Jan 2009 /  #52
Lovewithpolish I share your agony ... I like you fell in love with a polish girl last summer.

my case is almost identical to yours in that my parents back home didn't know about her, I spent last xmas with her parents which was rather enjoyable to say the least

in my case her parents were against the idea of her dating a "muslim" although I am an atheist and have lived in europe for a long time, they were still against the idea thinking I will kidnap their girl and take her home, lock her away in my harem and force her to cook/clean for the rest of her life

it was my girl's strength to go against her family which made them come to a fragile peace with it

apart from that they showed a will to conform to my traditions when I visited, like not drinking or eating pork which I felt was promising from their part

my visit was very good though, despite the language barrier I felt like their fears have been reduced a little

I am going to cut to your problem straight away, your parents approval ... In my case I wasn't going to tell my mother until it got very serious but my girl actually told me to tell her before I went for xmas and I did

my case might be different to yours because I am going to do what I am going to do and my parents know that so my mother kind of made her peace with it in her head, when I told her about the girl she said it's ok at the time then I called her again and she said she isn't ok with it but that it was simply based on the fear that this woman will leave me at an old age and I will end up alone old man which is a biggie to her, she drew from an experience of a relative who married a european woman for 25 years only to end up with separation and him coming back home, there is also a feeling from my mother's part that she will end up being alone with her kids all going away

my father doesn't know but he isn't a problem, if I told him I m gonna live in mars he'd say send a postcard

I still have many talks to have with my mother and I am being very diplomatic, the last thing I want is to give the impression that her son doesn't care about the feelings of the woman who went through hell to raise him up to be the great man he is now

I don't know about your case friend, do you think there will be resistance from your mother or from both parents, and why there will be in the first place?

don't be afraid of the confrontation, you have to consider your parents feelings and be very diplomatic when you talk to them especially your mother

when it comes to this I found that if you tell that her parents accepted you it might help with your parents acceptance, it was hard for her parents to accept you too but I know it will be harder for your parents to accept her simply because our culture isn't at that level yet

to sum up ( because I have to leave ) I think your case is more serious than mine, 3 years is a lot so I'd start thinking about telling family and making future plans

if you have any further questions don't hesitate to ask me in an email

all the best

K
marycha - | 7  
2 Feb 2009 /  #53
lovewithpolish
Dec 29, 08, 15:13 #32

she is not wasting time with me.

i am still with her because i love her.

family is important for me but love with her is deep. that's the problem

i don't someone to give me negetive suggestion.

i had enough already.

When ,then my girlfriend was asked by her parents if it was truth that she had foreign boyfriend and she confirmed it was , they gave her ultimatum. Her parents are multimillionaires from Taiwan ( I am Polish). We are married happily for 15 years now. She has sporadic contact with her family . We both WORK.

Question :
1. Do you really love her? - if yes you know what to do.
2. Do you prefer to be lazy, have empty life and bag your parents for money and do always what they want you to do in order to continue using their money? OR

3. Do you prefer to work hard and be with person you love?

You may stay in Poland . It is a nice and friendly country.

If it happens to you to read it remember please one important thing - ONCE YOU ARE MARRIED - YOUR WIFE AND YOUR CHILDREN ARE YOUR only FAMILY AND YOUR PARENTS and ......... SHOULD BE PLACED IN THE CATEGORY OF DISTANT FAMILY AND MUCH LOWER ON THE LIST OF IMPORTANCE FAR, FAR BELOW YOUR WIFE AND YOUR CHILDREN.

This is most important recipe for good marriage.
asmaani - | 28  
3 Feb 2009 /  #54
salam, lovewithpolish... why your dilemma makes me feel sick...
you just play with the girl's feelings. I saw too many times desi guys who after some time spent with Polish girls return home to marry desi girl their parents tell them to marry. Did you think of it? Do you know how much pain and suffering it causes?

Marry her, be a man and be a muslim!
there's no 'modern' muslim thing it's whether you are muslim or not! Simple as that. You should not have any relations with non-mahram and you know it. You already have done so much mistakes now be a man and fix it. You think it's ok until your family finds out; big mistake, God knows everything. Think about that!

You just do the right thing, do istikhara and do the right thing man. It's not a game you play. It's real life. End this relation, or marry the girl.

sorry brother for harsh words, but you asked for advice.
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,161  
3 Feb 2009 /  #55
desi

non-mahram

istikhara

What... ?
MrBubbles 10 | 614  
3 Feb 2009 /  #56
desi - Slang "A fellow from South Asia" (a 'homie')
non-mahram - nubile, open for marriage
istikhara - pray for absolution
asmaani - | 28  
3 Feb 2009 /  #57
well just in short:

desi is an adjective describing everything and everybody that comes from Indian subcontinent.
non-mahram is islamic term for person who is not related to you. well mahram is person from your family -eg mother, sisters, aunts, relatives you cannot marry, plus your wife. muslim man cannot have any kind of relation with any woman who is not his mahram. relatives of your spouse become your mahrams and remain to be ones until the marriage lasts.

istikhara is a special prayer done when somebody has a problem to solve, and seeks God's guidance.
osiol 55 | 3,922  
3 Feb 2009 /  #58
desi - Slang "A fellow from South Asia" (a 'homie')

Doesn't it means someone of South Asian origin who lives in another part of the world?
asmaani - | 28  
3 Feb 2009 /  #59
it's not only about people, we have desi cookbook for example.
person of desi origins /Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, not sure about people from Sri Lanka and Nepal though/ who lives abroad is called pardesi I think.

'des' means 'country' in hindi.
MrBubbles 10 | 614  
3 Feb 2009 /  #60
desi is an adjective describing everything and everybody that comes from Indian subcontinent.
non-mahram is islamic term for person who is not related to you. well mahram is person from your family -eg mother, sisters, aunts, relatives you cannot marry, plus your wife. muslim man cannot have any kind of relation with any woman who is not his mahram. relatives of your spouse become your mahrams and remain to be ones until the marriage lasts.
istikhara is a special prayer done when somebody has a problem to solve, and seeks God's guidance.

Doesn't it means someone of South Asian origin who lives in another part of the world?

Ah! Thanks guys! The motto here is never to rely on Wikipedia for your research :)

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