Which is better? Being single or being in a relationship?

Blimy, its like a wet weekend in Rhyl in here!

Tell me about it. It's okay at times but definately does get tiresome. I have to hand it to women, they do tend to have a much wider spectrum of subjects on which to converse.


Thank you Eurola, find it daunting but will endevour to get out more.

Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone, no obligations and best of all, no heartaches. But you know what? If you will never get your heart broken, you will never learn to love.

It depends on the individual. Some men or women prefer to just date and not get into serious relationships for reasons of their own, but the norm is relationships are better because you are sharing your life with someone and the world can be one lonley place. However, one shouldn't go out hunting for a person to go with, but just let it happen naturally.

hi ken i havent been around in a while but i have been catching up on ur progress from time to time.and while it can be rewarding to be in a relationship it can be just as much so not to be, iv been single for a year and a half and have found it very educating and also lonely at times but even if u were in a relationship it can be lonely and isolating,

anyway my main reason for replying is to tell u to join some dating site,s as iv heard some great stories of people meeting the love of their lives, there are free one,s available,. u need to cast your net out further afield. i know of a couple but dont know if im allowed to give out on here so if u can let me know i can give u some details.

Wow thanks, you're like my guardian 'angel' !! It's great to have you around again.


Yeah, I registered with one and even had my photo put on it (something I'm not comfortable with at all) but I think it's about £60 to become a full member and I just don't think it's a worthwhile investment at the moment. Still have some insecurities which I need to get on top of before considering dating.

PS. Hooray for Harrington! - A great day for Irish sport.

Yeah I think this is true. I know people who flit from relationship to relationship and spend the minimum of time as a single person! Its wrong. How can you know what you want if you never have time to be with yourself? They say they can't be single!


Yes. I have talked about this on Justyna's topic 'what a girl wants'. I know people who have married young/early so that they not be alone but I cannot understand this.


Where did you get this Pingwin? Its so very true!

Being single has its pros and cons like any thing else. If your happy with yourself and single great. If you need someone to make you happy not good. I'd rather be single and happy then married and Miserable . Life is to short to be sad and Miserable. Its all in the chemistry and timing.

That about sums it up. Top Post.

Hi ya Ken well its soooo nice to hear that someones missed me, thank u so much and yes i think ur right u should not really have to pay for something like that and there,s loads of free site,s and one is quite good its called smooch.com there,s also one called priceless partners. give them a go and wont ya let me kno how u get on. iv made it my mission to help u find a woman...... (smiles)

This isn't mission difficult, its mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you.

This message will self destruct in five seconds!

I might as well thrash this one out while i'm here too:

BEING SINGLE:

GOOD POINTS: not having to be responsible for somebody else's feelings or emotions etc etc, I can do what i want when i want, I have no added responsibilities or pressure from a girlfriend, I can make decisions without having a direct effect on a potential girlfriend, I can do my best in the final year of my masters degree without distraction both good and bad that a partner might bring.

BAD POINTS: there are those times when i sit down and think to myself something is missing in my life, sometimes feeling lonely, not having that special somebody to confide in talk to or hold at the end of the day.

BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP

GOOD POINTS: The company, The emotion feelings, knowing that somebody really cares for you, having fun with your partner, Doing the silly things that couples do, sharing things that you couldn't share with anybody else.

BAD POINTS: Sometimes restricts my activities, when things are bad the rest of your life is affected.

Thats a very watered down version but hay its only personal feeling on it :)

Nothing is impossible my friend, u need to work on your confidence so if u have time sign up for these two websites and do put ur picture on as u will get twice as many replies as one with none.

are ya gonna stick with me on this one!!!!!!!

Strikes me Ken that you're talking yourself out of it again. Every single post I have read of yours tells me you're a great guy with bags of respect and tolerance for others. You have a very dry sense of humour too. In short you're just the sort of bloke that a lot of girls will really appreciate. Just stick at it and take a few small chances now and again. Rejection hurts I know but it's not fatal. Not long now. And now you have an angel eyes as a mentor and supporter it's going to be easier still

PS - I enjoyed the Padraig show too

Ken,

With the greatest respect to you mate, you need to stop feeling so sorry for yourself and get out their in anyway you can instead of sitting on your backside and telling everybody about the problem. If you want to find a girl there are ways and means of doing that, there are always people out there who are willing to talk to you and will accept you for who you are, if they don't then they simply are not the girl or woman for you.

Place yourself in situations where you are going to interact and talk with woman, at first you don't even need to be out for a girl, simply talking and socialising to raise your self esteem and confidence. After that you will be able to speak to woman and i'm sure show them what a pleasant, decent guy you are and that to be with you will give them something that nobody else can.

Sometimes finding a partner is difficult but don't let it be because your sitting feeling sorry for yourself and saying, 'i'll never find a girl' or 'nobody is going to want me' you've got to take the steps to negate that negative feeling that you have about yourself. Believe me if you doubt yourself then so will the Girls, who wants to be with somebody who does not believe in themselves.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but let the real 'KEN' come out and play and i'm sure you'll suprise yourself with the amount of attention you will recieve and eventually you will find the right girl and even if not you'll take experiences from those relationships that go a bit pete tonge!!!

anyway good luck on your quest, sorry there angel eyes didn't mean to but in on your mission, please proceed as before :)

Mmmm...well...we'll see...

I used to be indecisive...but now I'm not so sure!


You're spot on. I am put off way too easily I know.

It's all very up and down at the moment too. There are times when I'm out somewhere on my own and I meet couples or run into a girl I once fancied but was too shy to approach and I almost break down in tears and feel really low about myself whereas at other times I revel in my independance and lack of any ties.

The bottom line is that I don't know what I want.


Great post, the advice is most welcome and has been taken on board.

Ken, very few of us really do know what we truly want. I think you are setting big targets when little ones are needed. You have to take some chances and just accept you will get rejeced, make a fool of yourself or get hurt. You don't need to feel low about yourself. You are obvioulsy a good person. Come on - JFDI

mmmm well u got your friends here to help ya out all u gotta do is holler and we,re fightin ur corner hun

I know this may be a silly question but here goes........can't you ask angel eyes out Ken, 'cos you seem to like one another ? Are you single angel eyes?

..just a thought

LIR (not cilla in disguise 'cos that's amathyst) <very, very big grin>

Crikey ! Steady on there Red Lady, I'm Red Ken at the moment ! Blushes

I'm really flattered but I think Angel Eyes is a wee bit out of my league to be honest.

Why???

there are no such things as leagues when it comes to men and women, its just personalities and individuals, give yourself a break

well i certainly would not consider any one out of my league, what age are u Ken?
from what i remember you are quite young , but dont knock yourself down before you,ve even started,

I know my place...I'm ugly...I'm no fun...women don't want to be around me, I'm the archetypal loner.

Having that avatar of Mo is certainly affecting you! I bet you're none of those things you just said!


good advice

No offense mate but you need to buck up and give yourself a slap round the face and sort your SH*T out. If you continue like this all girls or women will think your a looser, but really your not!!!!. Everybody has something about them that is attractive.

You have to look at the positive side of yourself because if you don't then who the hell is going to. Come on wake up, its all well and good moaning but imagine all of this effort you are using complaining or been down in the dumps, if you used it to get out there then you would probably have no problems at all.

My mother used to say to me 'you get back what you put in' so the more effort you make mate the more you will get in return. :)

I do give off the wrong signals, that's true.

It's also true that you become what you believe.

I know I'm behaving in the wrong way, I know I'm not as bad as I make out but snapping out of it is proving difficult.

It is all a bit of a vicious circle, I have no friends so I don't go out, so I don't meet anyone, so my confidence deminishes, so I retreat further into my shell, etc etc.

Mr K. In your neck of woods (Cork) its a vibrant place to be, suggest you get in touch with your friends and start to have some kind of life again as difficult as it is, small steps

Yes - what I was replying to has disappeared!


correct. get in touch with people. even just one person, go for a pint.

I live up at the top of the country, at its most northerly point, Cork is at the bottom.

Anyway, enough of the geography lesson!

As for my friends, I did hang around with some a while ago but I didn't enjoy their company all that much. We never really got on, I was always the outsider. It was my fault, I just couldn't open up with them, I do come across as very cold and a bit uptight, I don't blame them for giving me the cold shoulder.

Mr K read your email


for some reason I thought you lived in Cork, so where are you then