USA, Canada / Raising children in the US [25]

Hi-
I'm American and bringing up my kids in Poland. Our kids are still little but we have worked hard to establish a friendly relationship with them but still with the authority of parents. I guess we'll know if we are doing the right thing in about 10-15 years. Now on a lighter note, why do many Polish parents/grandparents/babysitters dress kids so warmly? And why do grandmas insist on asking me if my kids are too cold? Hmm, it's summer and they are sweating so no I don't think that they are too cold.

Chris

USA, Canada / My Polish husband is having trouble finding a sponsor for his green card [8]

I had the same problem that my income as a teacher in the US (and my husband's income from Poland) was not enough so my parents co-sponsored my husband. Another friend of ours in the US was co-sponsored by his employer. If no family members can help out (it just requires them filling out the form and providing the tax papers as proof) then maybe your church as suggested above is the way to go.

Good luck,
Chris

USA, Canada / Raising children in the US [25]

I understood that is was about raising kids in the US probably by people who had a Polish upbringing. I offered my opinion as an American who was raised in the US and my experience raising my children in Poland. I thought that it might be of interest but I guess I was wrong.

Real Estate / I'm not Polish - can I buy a house in Poland ? [49]

I bought a flat a couple of years ago and it is registered in my name and my Polish spouse's name. It wasn't a problem at all.

When we bought a house later we had a different problem. It is on agricultural land (not a lot, less than a hectare) and the dept of agricultural did not give me permission to be co-owner (I'm not from the EU). We bought it anyhow and the lawyer wrote the documents in such a way that we are co-owners of the house, my husband is the official owner of the land and I have the right to half of the value of the land. It is kind of strange 'cause I am co-owner of a house but not the land it stands on. The lawyer agreed to this set-up because we are married. She said that she has seen some people cheated by such business agreements.

I know a Dutch farmer who had a 99 year lease on his farm land. Has anyone heard of that?

BTW-Change the locks as soon as you take ownership. I mean the same day if possible. We learned the hard way.

Good luck!

Love / Why are Polish girls constantly ill? [166]

I think one explanation of why Poles may visit the family doctor for a common cold or other similarly mild illness is because of the L4/sick leave. Although the common cold is minor, you still would probably like to stay at home under your kołderka for a day or two. If you have a job and want to get sick leave for that, you need to go to the doctor. I recall my first visit to a Polish doctor. We had some communication problems but he asked me "How many days?" and I replied that I had been ill for about 5 days. He asked me again, "How many days will you be ill?" I replied that I didn't know and couldn't really say as I had no idea what was wrong with me (that being his job to tell me). We went around in circles for awhile until I finally got it. I got a week off from work and a prescription for a lot of useless herbal remedies.

Love / Why are Polish girls constantly ill? [166]

Back to the doctor thing- A couple of months ago I was feeling pretty bad but I have 2 kids and a job and a husband and a life so I just attributed it to being tired. Being a google freak, I googled my symptoms and found out that a fever with swollen glands and no coughing warrants a dr's visit. I waited a couple of more days and then finally dragged myself to the dr's office ("first contact" dr). The doctor asked me what was up, examined me and then sat down and began writing a lot of stuff. I had to ask her what the diagnosis was (bronchitis) and she was deeply offended when I asked her on what basis she had made that diagnosis. Anyhow, to get back to the point, she couldn't understand why I had waited so long to come to the dr esp that the visit was "free" (I mean you pay for it in your taxes). That got me thinking. I'm American and every dr's visit in the US even with insurance is quite costly so I'm just in the habit of playing wait and see. Maybe that's why Polish women visit the doctor more often and seem to have more illnesses than the rest of us. Maybe they just have a habit of going to the dr at the first signs of illness and not waiting like I do.

But if we are talking about my mother-in-law and going to the doctor, that's another story. Try to get a lady like her to go the gynecologist. Impossible!

Life / Receiving a order from Amazon.com in Poland [11]

One thing to look out for on Amazon and Ebay is that in your order sometimes they won't send something to Poland at all. In one order we bought books, individual cds and a cd set. They wouldn't send the cd set for some reason.

Life / What do you live in, apartment, house, car? [19]

We rented for a couple of years until we decided to stay here and then we decided to buy an apartment. I wanted to buy an old one because like beckski I wanted the charm of something old. My husband who is Polish wanted to buy something new and said that charm is overrated. I have had many opportunities in my life to have something new so I decided to give my husband that :) We live in an osiedle and I used to make fun of people who did but now with kids I couldn't imagine living in the city center. We have playgrounds and stores and places to stroll.

But....we also bought a house. It's an old farmhouse and it is sucking the life out of us. New roof, new windows, a bathroom (for the first time), electricity!!! and...we ran out of money before we put in central heating or any kind of heating for that matter. It's so darn quiet there and all the guys at the village shop call me Lucy ;)

Life / Polish bureaucracy - it went to a new level, they ask to pay for search [21]

I can top that.

When I went to get my becikowe (it's a thousand zloty baby bonus) the clerk asked me to prove that I hadn't received it already in my home area. You can apply for it another municipality than where you are registered but then you have to prove that you haven't already received it. I showed her again that my permanent resident is in that town and waited for my dough. She informed me that I had to prove that I had not received British becikowe. As I am American that would be a good feat and I explained that to her. Then she insisted that I prove I had not received American becikowe which for one thing doesn't exist and for another has nothing to do with Polish becikowe. I could see on the clerks face that she realized how stupid what she had just said was and that she was hopelessly incorrect but, god love her, she just kept on going until her supervisor took over and completed the transaction.

Your turn :)

Life / Gender roles in Polish culture [7]

Could you explain to us why you need the information? It might help us help you.

You may want to start by looking at the Matka Polka stereotype and the life/work balance that many Polish women are struggling with. You could also look at the generational differences and geographic differences (city vs village, west vs east).

Life / UK expat recently moved to Warsaw - lots of ongoing questions :) [27]

About the water, if you use a Brita filter be sure to still boil the water before you drink it.

Good luck with your stay in Poland.

Life / Terminal illness and bad news for the patient - how do Poles react to that? [4]

Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience with the Polish health care system.

Latest case in the family:
50 year old woman with terminal breast cancer. The misunderstanding between the doctors and the patient was such that she thinks that she's going in for more chemo/radiation and that she will survive. The reality is that there are no plans for more treatment, only keeping her comfortable til the end. The result is that she is getting sicker, well I mean she is slowly dying, and instead of spending her last moments with her family she is waiting for her magic dr's appointment which is never going to come. This is not a case of denial but rather of the dr using too complicated terminology and maybe being afraid to tell the patient the truth in plain language.

My case:
I had an operation a few years ago. I was really ill and nobody could really tell me what was wrong. A few doctors had even diagnosed me with some mental illness :) Anyhow, after the operation the doctor came to my bedside and stated happily "Well, it's not cancer". I was so angry because they had not told me the reason they were opening me up was because they thought I had cancer. I let the surgeon have it and his explanantion was that he didn't want to worry me. I think that is common here.

USA, Canada / Any Demand for TEFL teachers in US? [4]

Hi FoxxiGold-

I was teaching ESL/EFL at university in the US. It was a section of the university which operated courses for its foreign students and also offered courses to a broader audience. We had students from all over the world. It was really interesting and fun. The requirements fro teacher were a degree in ESL/EFL or a university degree (of any kind) with CELTA/DELTA plus at least 2 years experience. Strangely enough I was the only American teacher in an English language school in American. The school had trouble finding qualified teachers.

Also when I was living in NY briefly I checked out teaching ESL/EFL there too. There were a lot of private school and also some course organized by the government. They also had a lack of qualified teachers and for some specific courses requested teachers with qualifications who also could speak a foreign language, Polish was one of them but mostly they were looking for Spanish.

The actual jobs were pleasant and interesting. The problem was the contract and the pay. No guaranteed hours (no students, no job), hourly wage averaging 15 bucks an hour, no insurance which for me is the most important.

Good luck!

Real Estate / Foreigners can buy houses in Poland! [3]

There are no regulations limiting the purchase of flats by foreigners. I'm not from the EU and I bought a flat without any problems.

I had a problem when we bought a house which was located on agricultural land. Because I am not a EU citizen the paperwork states that I am half-owner of the house (with my spouse) and have the right to half the value of the land. The land, however, is owned by my spouse. If I were an EU citizen, I would be half-owner as well.

About the agricultural and forest land- There are some restrictions even for Polish people. The Dept of Agriculture (and maybe forestry as well) has the first right to purchase any agricultural land for sale. So when you want to buy some farm land, you as the buyer have to check if the Dept of Ag. agrees to pass on their right to buy. Also there was a regulation when we were buying (don't know if it still exists) that when you buy more than a hectare you have to show that you have either an agricultural education or higher education. A high school diploma counts as higher education for this purpose. We bought our house/land through an agent, so she advised us on all the formalities.

Good luck!

USA, Canada / Any Demand for TEFL teachers in US? [4]

I would try to count anything and everything you can as "experience". You can include the time you spent in front of the class while completing your certificates. Is it possible to get some tutoring hours at your local school or university? I think the university where I was working would have hired me even without the experience (although they said it was required) but the NYC school definitely would not have because the classes were so large and diverse.

I wish you all the best in your job search!

Life / More Polish supermarket griping...this time about customers [29]

Although I have adapted to the smaller personal space here in Poland, I still do not like actual physical contact with strangers in the supermarket check-out line (or anywhere else for that matter). I have a standard line - Prosze mnie nie dotykać - which I deliver to the offender the second time or third time they bump me. Next I move to -Nie dotykaj mnie- and I've never needed to say more. Of course, this draws a lot of comments from other people but for me that is better than being constantly bumped and breathed on.

I have also met with hostility when pregnant or with a small child in the disabled/pregnant line. Also on the tram when I was about 8 months pregnant an elderly lady asked me for my seat when the seats in front of me and behind me were free. I informed her of that and her daughter told her to leave me alone, that I was pregnant and sitting in the appropriate seat. The elderly lady looked at me and told me that I shouldn't have slept around!!! She was in her 80's and her daughter in her 60's. I had to laugh :)

USA, Canada / Going on holiday to USA - visa needed for a Pole? [11]

When my husband got his first US tourist visa, he told them that he wanted to visit the US in the summer and probably again in the following summer. He received a 10-year tourist visa which is good for stays in the US up to 6 months long. He also spoke English at his appointment. Another lady who was in the same group as my husband requested a 3-month visa for a summer English course in America. They gave her a 3-month visa, starting from the next day. It was in March :(

Be clear about your intentions and everything should be ok.

Good luck!

Life / UK expat recently moved to Warsaw - lots of ongoing questions :) [27]

My advice was based on what is written in the Brita instructions manual. It says that tap water after filtering should be boiled before drinking. What you do and what your stomach can handle is up to you.

USA, Canada / Getting married in Poland for a USA citizen [10]

About the birth certificate- I remember that I didn't have mine and they made a big stink about it in the government office. I asked to have a look at the regulations and it says passport OR birth certificate. I remember because I made a big deal out of asking the lady what "LUB" means and checking it in the dictionary.

Good luck!

Language / The final "ę" [29]

Miodek says that pronouncing the final ę as e is considered correct. I think he is considered an authority on the subject.

Food / Bad food experiences in Poland [30]

My worst food experience had to be the flaki ordered for me by my husband on our first date. How we ever got from flaki to married is a mystery.

Law / Marriage Procedure in Poland [56]

Seanus-

First of all congratulations on "your new way of life". Now according to Polish tradition we can stop badgering you about when you are getting married and we can start asking when the kids are coming :) (BTW, I always answered - 9 months after I get pregnant)

I had the same thing with my vows. When I was learning them, I asked my husband-to-be to divide the vows (it is one long sentence) into parts like the Registrar would. Unfortunately, the Registrar did it differently. I was also a little shaken when she put in my husband's name. I had been repeating it for days and days with no name! Needless to say, my husband was sick of hearing those vows and they lost their meaning a little bit.

The Registrar asked me some small-talk questions before we started. Did they do the same with you? Now that I look back, I think she was checking if I could understand Polish enough to know what was going on. Anyhow, what else could be going on?!? It's not like I thought I won the lotto and I was there to pick up my prize!

Congrats once again.

Food / Blueberry Pierogi's [30]

Louicky-That is a brilliant idea about the frozen berries. I have terrible problems sealing up the fruit pierogi. For meat pierogi, I make something like little meatballs (pre-cooked) and I find it much easier to get the pierogi sealed. Next time, I will try your idea.

Food / baby food in Poland - culture differences in feeding babies. [23]

I'm American and I have 2 children. Both pregnancies and births took place in Poland.

In the hospital it was assumed that mothers would breastfeed. I wanted to breastfeed so I did not see this assumption as pressure but if I had not wanted to breastfeed I probably would have felt differently. The nurses did not spare those non-breastfeeding moms rude comments. Nothing cuts more deeply to a new mom than a medical professional telling you that you are harming your child and not every new mom has the backbone or the energy to stand up to those criticisms. I was criticized for not giving my child a pacifier but I conveniently didn't understand Polish at that moment.

Later, a mid-wife comes to your home and it was also her assumption that I was breastfeeding (or maybe it was my huge breasts?) Anyhow, she suggested all kinds of drops and teas (herbatki) and juices and glucose!!!! for my baby. I didn't take her advice and the doctor laughed, saying breastmilk was enough for now.

I could find (in Polish of course) tons of info about breastfeeding, formula feeding, weaning, introducing solids on my own and was given lots of info from the hospital, the doctor and even my gynecologist. The recommendations here are the same as in the US. In habit, I find that more women here breastfeed and that they do so longer. It could be connected to the length of maternity leave which is often shorter in the US.

A lot of my friends make their own baby food and I made some of my own as well but only because we have a lot of fruit trees at home. I did not see that there was any stigma to using store bought baby food. It seems to be the norm and the assortment is very good. I did find that quite a few people season the store bought food by adding salt or sugar which we all know is not a good idea and can even be dangerous for a baby's little organs. I noticed that on some "mommy" shows on TV they talked about not salting but later gave recipes for children's dishes with parówki (hot dogs) for kids as young as 6 months. Go figure.

Back to the breastfeeding- I easily weaned my first child at about 10 months but my second child is allergic to dairy and our doctor thinks it is safe to assume that I will breastfeed her indefinitely. She has even said something like -it's the least you can do as a mother-.

I also noticed a lot of my friends give their children (I mean older kids, like 2+) milk or formula at night in bed or rice cereal in a bottle in the morning. Some also give juice at night. I give my children water throughout the day and at night if they need it. I can only imagine what those kids teeth must look like.

Hope that my answer was helpful. Good luck with your research.

Study / School in Poland - "hellish torture? [20]

I taught briefly in Poland in a university prep high school. I noticed that while in the US, I had had Chemistry everyday for a semester (or 2? I don't remember) and then Physics everyday for another semester, the students here have Biology, Chemistry and Physics at the same time (although not all of them everyday).

Students attend practically all lessons with their class. In the US, I was better at Physics so I attended Physics a year earlier than my class. Something like that is not possible here. As a language teacher in Poland, I had kids at all different levels in one group leaving some bored while others were hopelessly lost (I tried my best to remedy that). I was also confused by the fact that there was no curriculum given to me so I had to beg around to find out what I was supposed to be teaching to each group.

As far as grading goes, I found the system chaotic. I tried to equate the 1-6 grading system to a % system and accordingly give a % result while scoring my students' work. For me anything under 70% was failing but I was informed that my grades were too harsh- that 50% was a sufficient score to pass. Strangely enough the teachers who told me that had never counted how many "points" the test contained or in any way objectively graded the works. In the end a student who had had 4 consecutive "1"s and a "2" was able to go over my head to the principal and negotiate a "3" for his grade. Not cool.

Also be aware the cheating runs rampant. I found that when I was a student, my fellow students were my competition so I didn't even think of helping them (or asking for help). I felt that by helping them, I was hurting myself. In Poland there is more of a group mentality of students against teachers (but not in a really bad way) which leads to students "helping" each other on a regular basis. Not "helping" can be seen as selfish.

I wish you all the best and I think no matter what, your stay in Poland will be a meaningful experience in your life.

Study / School in Poland - "hellish torture? [20]

In my case, not only were my grades considered in the university recruitment process but also class ranking and "weight" of the courses. That's why everyone was my competition.

Having said that, I'll tell you a little bit about my Spanish lessons. We were not required to take a high school exit exam of Spanish nor was I required to take a foreign language at university. Knowing that, our class put a lot of pressure on our teacher to lower her requirements of us so we could concentrate on the "real" subjects. When that didn't work, we collectively failed tests. That did the trick. Of course as an immature teenager, I could not see the benefit of learning a foreign language, but that's another story.

About everything being a competition, I guess it is in my blood. That doesn't mean that I won't stop to help a person in need. The last recipient of my helpfulness was not a seriously ill young man as I had assessed the situation, but instead a young Irish guy here for his stag party. He was seriously drunk and flat on his face in the middle of the day in the market square. Maybe it was still my competitiveness? I wanted to be the first and the best to help him ;)?

Life / Postal Customs in Poland [17]

We had a similar problem US to Poland. We got a letter from the customs office. We called and the man said that we needed to declare the value of the package and in our case declare that it was not a purchase but a gift in writing. It was a car part for my American car that my father sent to me so it was technically a gift. I don't know what would have happened had it been a surprise gift that I did not know the value of.

Also I recently received Easter presents sent by my parents to my children (US to Poland) by priority post. Happy Easter in November!

Real Estate / What does 250,000 zl buy in Wroclaw? [30]

I negotiated the commission with the agent before we started looking at properties. How could we expect someone to negotiate in our name in good faith when it would have brought down their income?

USA, Canada / Going on holiday to USA - visa needed for a Pole? [11]

Congratulations!

Life / Giving birth in Warsaw. [4]

I know about the home birth mid-wives in the Lower Silesia area but not in Warsaw, sorry. They have a special certification of some sort. Ask your doctor to help you out. I've given birth twice in Wrocław where you cannot get anything as far as pain relief is concerned and it wasn't so bad.

Why do they insist on sending you out? You are right to put your foot down. It's not like there are not modern hospitals in Poland (although after seeing the bathroom in the hospital I can question my own statement.) I suggest learning a very useful phrase of "push" in Polish. "Kneel" was also useful.

Good luck!