Return PolishForums LIVE
  PolishForums Archive :
Archives - 2005-2009 / USA, Canada  % width 25

Raising children in the US


rejbel 1 | 13  
5 Oct 2007 /  #1
I have a question.... Why the parents in us would do freaking everything to be kids friends? What happened to respect, to be strict? Sometimes I look at some people with children and see that they treat their kids like eggs. Oh be careful we do not won't to upset our son? What happened to just being a parent? NOT their friend!!!
regionpolski 33 | 153  
5 Oct 2007 /  #2
That's a generalization. Most parents in the US raise their kids with normal values. Unfortunately, " normal " makes for bad television. That medium thrives on the abnormal. It seeks out the ignorant, and pulls at their emotions. Rise above it.
Patrycja19 62 | 2,688  
5 Oct 2007 /  #3
What happened to just being a parent? NOT their friend!!!

kids now a days live so much different world then when we were kids. and back
when we were kids parents didnt really care to much about what we were doing
and lots of kids lives were lost that way.. its really how you feel as a parent and
how you want to raise your child.. there is no special book out there that teaches
us how to parent.. or how to raise your kids.. even children from broken homes
or from high society choose what they want to do after a certain age, and if you
tell them they cant do it.. well then they go behind your back and pretty soon your
attending a funeral...

each generation is different, each new era, so bringing up a child, you just have to
do your best and hope they sway in the right direction with the help of your
parenting skills and direction and lotsa love and if in some familys that means being
a friend then thats their choice.

why let such a small issue with other children bother you so much? or are you trying
to be just like your parents and rule with the iron fist and pretty soon your children
only want to see you occasionally and dont want bring the grandchildren because
you might rule with the iron fist with their children and they wont like that or
feel its unacceptable... gotta be your own parent.
Eurola 4 | 1,902  
5 Oct 2007 /  #4
why singling out US parenting? it's the same for all kids growing up in homes where both parents must work. The belt no longer rules. Children should be allowed to have their own personalities (to some extend). I have married friends with kids and they are parents to them, not buddies. I don't know of any who'd allow their kids to address them by name, I just heard that it happens in some families... I would have to agree then - not a good idea.
Patrycja19 62 | 2,688  
5 Oct 2007 /  #5
I don't know of any who'd allow their kids to address them by name, I just heard that it happens in some families... I would have to agree then - not a good idea.

yeah, I agree with the name thing.. but you have to sit and talk with them.. god
I cringe at some of the things I hear my daughter say.. some of her friends are
pregnant.. I have to talk to her and try to be understanding, so many kids are
getting pregnant.. its hard.. no one knows till they wear them shoes!!
Eurola 4 | 1,902  
5 Oct 2007 /  #6
I think kids should be told appropriate truth as soon as they ask "where do i come from?"
Maybe there would be less pregnancies...I think the truth is kept away from the kids too long. You see, there are less teen pregnencies in Europe. Children are told about sex as soon as they get curious about it. I knew more than I really wanted to know by the age 10! It did help.
Patrycja19 62 | 2,688  
5 Oct 2007 /  #7
there are less teen pregnencies in Europe.

trust me they get the sex education.. and told all about the risks and this started
in 5th grade 10 years. they seen how babies were made, what can happen the
whole nine yards..

my daughter stays home, but there were some of her friends that lied to their
parents and there was sex parties. I found this out thru a friend at work.. my
girls stay home, even if they were invited, I would go then to see whats going on
and if the parents are home to a party.. cause some just dont think that their
kids will do this.. I tell mine, trust is something you earn.. dont screw it up.
plk123 8 | 4,142  
5 Oct 2007 /  #8
patrycja, why are you so morbid and negative in general? you can't control everything.
jnowiski 2 | 121  
5 Oct 2007 /  #9
you can't control everything.

the army controls the weather. true story.
Eurola 4 | 1,902  
5 Oct 2007 /  #10
They are doing a great job. It's going to be close to 90F in Chicago tomorrow and it is October!!!
plk123 8 | 4,142  
6 Oct 2007 /  #11
what's wrong with being your kids' friend?
OP rejbel 1 | 13  
7 Oct 2007 /  #12
Thank you for all your responses. I have a lot of friends with kids and want to be a parent soon myself... I do not want to raise my kids with an iron fist but also I do not want to be parent that lets a 7yr old talk to me without respect and walk all over me. What I sometimes see it's just wrong... Kids yelling at their parents because they said no or didn't give them something.... And the most stupid reaction from parents that i just cannot stand is: Oh! He is just having a bad day. or he is not in a mood today.... Come on! We are talking here about 5 or 7 yr olds.

why singling out US parenting?

because i live in US and this is what i see....

Thanks Grzesiu for the photo... It is a cute one...
advokat  
21 Jun 2009 /  #13
they dont want to get arrested for child abuse for spanking their kid.
PlasticPole 7 | 2,648  
21 Jun 2009 /  #14
I have a question.... Why the parents in us would do freaking everything to be kids friends? What happened to respect, to be strict? Sometimes I look at some people with children and see that they treat their kids like eggs. Oh be careful we do not won't to upset our son? What happened to just being a parent? NOT their friend!!!

I would rather have a friend than a parent. That would be great. Overly strict parents end up alienating their kids. It's true. The kids get away from them as soon as they can and move as far away from them as possible and when they have children of their own they aren't as close to the grandparents because the relationship is strained. Being too strict a parent is a bad idea. Childhood should be a happy time so that when grown the child can look back on childhood in a happy way, with good memories.
Patrycja19 62 | 2,688  
21 Jun 2009 /  #15
patrycja, why are you so morbid and negative in general? you can't control everything.

lol, I just seen this like a year and half later... lol

Me no negative... nope not me!!
and I control everything!! muwhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ChrisPoland 2 | 123  
15 Oct 2009 /  #16
Hi-
I'm American and bringing up my kids in Poland. Our kids are still little but we have worked hard to establish a friendly relationship with them but still with the authority of parents. I guess we'll know if we are doing the right thing in about 10-15 years. Now on a lighter note, why do many Polish parents/grandparents/babysitters dress kids so warmly? And why do grandmas insist on asking me if my kids are too cold? Hmm, it's summer and they are sweating so no I don't think that they are too cold.

Chris
Lodz_The_Boat 32 | 1,535  
15 Oct 2009 /  #17
Firstly, as Mods like to delete threads alot... HOW DOES THIS THREAD RELATE TO POLAND? (to the mods).
[as for our USA friends, please dont take that above statement personally. I respect and love to discuss about you ppl, but I need to understand the mods more clearly...].

Secondly, kids need to find parents in their parents, more then they need to find friends. Friends we can get many, parents we can get only two people as one. Its a unique gift of God. Not letting your children realize this gift, is taking alot away from them. This even may lead them not understanding this institution at all, and effect their life forever.
sledz 23 | 2,250  
15 Oct 2009 /  #18
HOW DOES THIS THREAD RELATE TO POLAND? (to the mods).

Doesnt it say Polonia-USA on the thread ????
Lodz_The_Boat 32 | 1,535  
15 Oct 2009 /  #19
Yes.

But its about raising children in the US. Not raising Polish children in the US. :)
sledz 23 | 2,250  
15 Oct 2009 /  #20
Some of the posters are Polish and living in the US with children:)

The hec with with it just delete the whole thread then..lol
ChrisPoland 2 | 123  
15 Oct 2009 /  #21
I understood that is was about raising kids in the US probably by people who had a Polish upbringing. I offered my opinion as an American who was raised in the US and my experience raising my children in Poland. I thought that it might be of interest but I guess I was wrong.
sledz 23 | 2,250  
16 Oct 2009 /  #22
I thought that it might be of interest but I guess I was wrong.

nevermind that guy hes always crying about something

post whatever you want:)
mvefa 5 | 591  
16 Oct 2009 /  #23
Unfortunately this trend can be seen across all of the western world. Parents do not exercise any authority, kids do what they want, when they want, parents are afraid of their children. Its madness. Im against beating your children, but there is got to be some authority...
sledz 23 | 2,250  
16 Oct 2009 /  #24
Parents do not exercise any authority

Because you will get thrown jail if you punish your children nowadays, its stupid!
When I was a kid and got out of line my Dad would whoop my ass, I was afraid to get into trouble.

They wont even let the kids play Dodgeball or Tag in the schools anymore?
The kids have to step on the other kids shadows now?????

The Liberal PC Brigade is watching...........
mvefa 5 | 591  
16 Oct 2009 /  #25
Therefore our kids are getting all weak and sick. The amount of people with allergies, weak defenses of their body is stunning comparing the previous generation. Parents of today are obsessed with letting their kids get dirty or get hit when playing or anything at all, its like they want a bubble around them to protect them from anything.

Archives - 2005-2009 / USA, Canada / Raising children in the USArchived