Just found out my wife is sending money back to Poland behind my back and am having to pay most of the bills in our house
that is very simple situation. You should immediately start to send your money on a secret location, behind back of `your` wife.
Plus, don`t try to seduce her. Give up, be happy and just play the game (eventually she would also want to prolong game). What to tell you man, marriage as institution is fatal for love and after some 10 years in a marriage, as one friend of mine said, when you jump at your wife its like that you jump on your own brother.