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Posts by ElmhurstTom  

Joined: 5 Jan 2010 / Male ♂
Last Post: 6 Jan 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1
From: Elmhurst, IL
Speaks Polish?: Some

Displayed posts: 2
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5 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

Czesc! First post on here. I am happily married to a Polish woman and we live in the suburbs of Chicago. We have a 13-month old child and over the course of the last year I have noticed some significant differences in the way she raises a child and in how I do things with the child. At first I thought it was just a man-woman thing, but the more I have gone through this, the more I got to thinking that perhaps it was a difference not in gender, but in nationality and how raising a child is different in Poland than it is here in the States.

Some of the issues I have noticed is that she is a kangaroo mom in the fact that she is always holding our child and with even the slightest wimper she is attending to his needs, when it is clear to me he is perfectly fine and just wants someone to pick him up. The baby still sleeps in the bed with my wife and there is no plan to end that anytime soon. She dresses him way too warm inside with layers of clothes. These are just a few of the things that I do not necessarily subscribe to and I am wondering if anyone had any insight into the differences between how Polish people raise children compared to the way Americans do. Any insight anyone might have on this topic would be greatly appreciated.

6 Jan 2010
USA, Canada / Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]

Thanks for all of the responses. I appreciate them. To answer the question from the last post, I am not sure if we will have any more kids or not. That is to be determined. I knew raising children was a hard job, but the last thirteen months have been the hardest of my life. I often times feel the methods used by my wife and in turn me, are simply too much. The day consists of washing bottles, doing laundry, giving him a bath everyday, one of us sleeping with him (even when he is asleep, she is afraid he will stop breathing or something), waking up twice in the night to make bottles for him, waking up early to clean bottles before he wakes up, play with him whenever he is awake (that does not mean sitting 10 ft away while he plays, that means being with him step-by-step as he learned to crawl and now walk). In other words, there is no down time and he is a very needy baby. I happen to believe all of the love we have shown him has turned him into the needy and clingy baby he is. However, I might be wrong. I think my wife spoils him too much and now when in a situation he is not comfortable with, such as when we go somewhere, he cries and only wants to be with my wife. That hurts me some as he does not feel comfortable enough to want me to hold him.

Anyways, I have no idea if more kids are in our futures. I have no life at all right now and while I expected my life to change a lot, I have no time to even sit down for 10 minutes to do something on the computer or watch TV. I have five other brothers and sisters and all but one have kids and multiple kids at that. All of them seem to have more time than I do. They all can balance their lives well and do other things outside the child. I can't figure out why I can't. Is is the Polish way? Maybe. Is it simply my wife? Maybe. I happen to think it is a combination of both.

Lastly, what does the Polish culture feel about letting a baby cry and in particular, letting a baby cry himself/herself to sleep? My wife will not do it. Is the way my wife feels similar to that of other Polish women?