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Posts by Eva_K  

Joined: 18 Sep 2008 / Female ♀
Last Post: 11 Feb 2009
Threads: Total: 5 / Live: 1 / Archived: 4
Posts: Total: 34 / Live: 12 / Archived: 22

Displayed posts: 13
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Eva_K   
25 Jan 2009
Love / Should a marriage proposal to a partner from Poland be done in private or public? [27]

part of the problems is I don't know that I actually believe in marriage and what marriage is really all about....

Doubtfullove, I think your name says it all. You're having doubts, and with just cause! It sounds like you and your boyfriend are very different people with very different ideas about your relationship. By making all of the arrangements and telling all of your friends without even consulting you, your boyfriend is setting a dangerous precedent. By taking the lead and forcing you to take a back seat on this ride, it seems to me that he is setting the pace for a future in which he does what he wants - and what he thinks you should want - rather than what you do. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not one person dictating the role of the other.

On one hand it seems sweet that he went to all of that trouble. On the other hand, however, it's actually scary to note that he is completely disregarding what you might want. As you wrote above, the venue that he chose and all the trappings he arranged for the event are your idea of hell. If you go through with the marriage without saying a word, be prepared to repeat this sort of thing for the rest of your married life because he is showing you now what it will be like: he will do what he enjoys, and what makes him comfortable, and your comfort level will be an after thought - if that.

Maybe he senses that you aren't ready and that is why he chose to propose to you in front of a crowd: so that they would pressure you to say yes. To me that isn't romantic, it's badgering!

I say talk to him as soon as possible. Tell him that you know all about the proposal event and that, frankly, it makes you uncomfortable. Be honest and tell him what you told all of us: that you're not sure about marriage at this point in your life, you need more time and you need to feel comfortable with the idea (and the setting of any future proposal). If he doesn't understand or respect your feelings now, I guarantee he won't later on either. Good luck!
Eva_K   
8 Nov 2008
Life / Polish people and racism. [943]

Adding to the dimension of a discussion is not changing, but enhancing it. Keeping a tight focus on Poles as racist becomes persecutorial. It's limiting and, dare I say, intolerant.
Eva_K   
8 Nov 2008
Life / Polish people and racism. [943]

^
You two are discussing proportions, but the thread in general is devoted to "Polish people and racism". It doesn't serve anyone well to target one population as racist.

As for Pakistani soldiers, they are needed within their own borders. Unfortunately, at the moment, they don't appear to be very effective even there!
Eva_K   
8 Nov 2008
Life / Polish people and racism. [943]

^
There are racist people in Scotland and in Poland, but don't forget, there are plenty of anti-European racists in Pakistan, in Turkey, in sub-Saharan Africa, etc., etc., etc. White, ethnic Europeans do not have the monopoly on racism. These days, white Europeans are frequently the victims of racial hatred and violence - sometimes in their own countries!
Eva_K   
8 Nov 2008
Life / Polish people and racism. [943]

While discussing whether or not the Polish people are "racist" against foreign minorities, why not ask the same question in reverse? Examine whether or not the countries these minorities are from are themselves racist.

If a Turk or a Pakistani wants to talk about racism in Poland, perhaps we should ask if there is racism in Turkey or Pakistan. For example: is Pakistan a multi-ethnic, multi-religious country with as many Polish people living in its borders as there are Pakistanis living in Poland? Are ethnic Poles (even Roman Catholics!) widely accepted and respected in Pakistan?

Do the police and common people in Pakistan protect the ethnic Poles visiting or living in Pakistan? Obviously the Pakistani minority demands protection and respect for its community in Poland, but do their countrymen do the same for Poles or other ethnic Europeans in Pakistan?

If the homelands of these minorites living in Poland do not offer equal respect, acceptance and protection to the ethnic Europeans living there, then the foreign minorities should not demand - or even expect - any better treatment in Poland.

Of course, tolerance of racist behavior shouldn't be contingent on how others are treated abroad, but the old saying holds true: People living in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! If you don't tolerate others at home, don't demand that others tolerate you abroad.
Eva_K   
3 Nov 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

Thanks, Wroclaw. My Great Grandfather did live in Michigan at one time, but that one is not him. He was born in the 1800s and was already an adult and father by 1910. I know a good deal about his life here in the USA, but very little about the family members left behind in Poland (now Lithuania. Oops! My irredentism is showing! :-D ) - or about the family name in general.

In the wake of the recent Russian submarine accident that killed 20 people onboard, a spokesman for the Russian Navy gave details to the press. The spokesman's name was Captain Igor Dyagalo . Could "Dyagalo" be a Russified version of the surname "Dowgiallo"?
Eva_K   
27 Oct 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

Thanks, Wroclaw. My Great Grandfather's name was Czeslaw. Not a Jewish name, I know, but there have always been subtle hints from family stories, so it would be nice to learn the truth about the Jewish connection if at all possible.

Any further information is welcome!
Eva_K   
21 Oct 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

UPD: I can provide you with some history of the last name but it's all in Russian

Thank you, Sasha. My Russian is not great, but I would like to try it with the information you have. Please post it here or in "Private Message". Thanks!

Have you checked Ship's Records for the arrival of your G-Grandfather. The ships manifest will show his original place of residence ?

Thanks, Wroclaw. I've searched for Ship manifest records, but haven't come up with anything yet. The town of origin is in or around "Uoginai", but I believe there were relatives also in Siuliai and Kaunaus/Kovno.

I have no idea what Uoginai is like now (city/town, etc.), but from family stories, I think it is rural.

I understand that the JewishGen site has records for Jewish and non-Jewish families, but could it be that Dowgiallo is a Jewish name, or might there be a Jewish branch of the Dowgiallo family? (Any Jewish Dowgiallos out there?)
Eva_K   
21 Oct 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

Thanks, Polonius3.

While looking online, I found a few references on genealogy sites where some people are claiming descent from a 13th Century bearer of the Dowgiallo name. Like the Ambassador mentioned earlier, this historical figure is also called "Jan Dowgiallo". Apart from those few family research sites, I haven't been able to find anything else about a Jan Dowgiallo in the 1400s, but original entries portray him as an aristocratic, political leader of the day.

Does anyone have any further information about the 13th Century leader, Jan Dowgiallo?

Thanks!

(P.S: Of course, any further discussion about the Dowgiallo name, its origin or about the family in general is welcome here, as well.)
Eva_K   
9 Oct 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

Thanks, Wroclaw. I checked the polishroots.org surname database, but couldn't find the name "Dowgiallo". Elsewhere on the site, there was an isolated reference to a Karol Dowgiallo in Krakow, but no name origin, meaning, or any other information was available.

Again, any information about the last name Dowgiallo is welcome here.
Eva_K   
9 Oct 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

Thanks, loco polaco! In its original form, the name probably did have the "££", but I imagine immigration officials changed it to "LL" on Great-Grandfather's arrived to the USA. As suggested in my original post, I suspected it was Lithuanian, since that is the part of the country (then-Poland) he came from.

In any event, do you - or anyone else reading this - know what the name means, or do you have any other information about its origin or about the family? If so, please post it here. Thank you!
Eva_K   
9 Oct 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

I know. It almost looks Italian, doesn't it? But Great-grandfather was definitely from Poland.

Looking online I found that a former Polish Ambassador to Israel is called "Jan Dowgiallo".
Eva_K   
9 Oct 2008
Genealogy / Last Name: DOWGIALLO from Poland [44]

I am trying to find out more information about the last name of my great-grandfather: "Dowgiallo". Great-grandfather came to the USA in 1910s from a part of Poland that is now in Lithuania.

Any information you can share about the origin or the meaning of this name (or about the family) is welcome here. Thank you!