Posts by PT2014

PT2014

27 Mar 2014

Love / Are Polish men handsome to you? [182]

I think Polish guys are very handsome. I adore their beautiful eyes. And besides their handsome look, they are cute and lovely.

PT2014

27 Mar 2014

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

Cześć/Merhaba/Hello =)

I am a 23 years old Turkish girl who has been dating with a Polish guy for around 14 months. He was an Erasmus student here in Turkey but he is back to Poland now. But we are talking everyday and planning about our next meet up.

Well, we love each others a lot and I am very sure about my feelings. But I still wanted to ask some stuff to Poles. Because you know, you guys belong to the same culture.

Recently, he has started to talk about marriage and he proposed me. And I said "tak" of course. :)

He told about me to his parents and his parents did not like the idea that their son will marry a muslim girl. He does not go to the church but his parents go to the church. They are quite serious with the religion. Piotr does not mind my religion and I don't mind his religion as well. But what if his parents never love me just because I am not a Christian?

I love my religion and I will never convert. And I love him so much, I will not break up with him for that possibility too. But I am afraid that it can cause a problem in the future. Do you think a Christian Polish family can accept a non-Christian girl? Maybe in time?

I asked the same questions to him and he says "they will love you after they know more about you". But I feel like he says that to comfort me. :)

Is there any non-Christian girl who faced the same situation? If yes, how did you overcome this? The family started to like you after they get to know you?

Thanks in advance for all replies.

PT2014

27 Mar 2014

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

Thanks for the replies. :)

This is quite unusual situation. If Polish parents had something against their daughter marring a muslim man (and often have) it would be a fair point as they have tendencies of converting women to islam. In this case it's strange that your parents and the rest of your family doesn't have anything against you marring an infidel like it often happens and I think this is what his parents are faraid of.

My dad was opposed to it in the beginning so badly but I managed to convince him that my bf will not try to make me convert. My bf was in Turkey for 6 months long and he met with my family. So they know him and they kinda like him anyway. Fortunately, from my parents, there is no problem. But I haven't met his parents yet. And their problem is my being a non-Christian. Not that they are totally against it, just they didn't like the idea and I started to think that they may not like me because of that.

Good chances are they would. Family ties in Poland are loosening in general so perhaps you'd be less dependent and in less contact with your in laws - assuming you end up living in Poland. Being from Turkey and not form some other non-Christian country would definitely help, too - considering over all good perception of Turks in Poland and some history with Polish-Turkish intermarriage.

Yes, I will move to Poland. It's nice to hear that my being Turkish can help.

PT2014

27 Mar 2014

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

There's a fair chance that your prospective mother-in-law will never like you. Not because you're a Turk, not because you're a muslim, just because no woman is good enough for her little boy (it's a Polish mother thing).

It's not nice to learn. :) Well, if they tend to think so, I dunno what I can do. But I'm nice with Piotr, we never have fights and those kind of stuff. And I care a lot about him.

Yep. Be sure to have your own place at least 20 km from them :D :D, just in case. Another thing, does he have any siblings ? And what do they think about the topic ?

I'll keep that advice in mind. :) He is an only child. He has a female cousin and I get along with her very well. She wants me to move to Poland so that we can spend time in person.

PT2014

27 Mar 2014

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

I don't wear a veil but I don't drink. I am not an extremists but I try to obey the rules of my religion as much as I can do. And I don't mind that he is a non-muslim, because I love him. I will never force him to convert or something. We are not pushy to each others about anything.

And for bringing up any children we may one day have, I am totally okay with it that we can bring up them jointly. :)

PT2014

27 Mar 2014

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

If his parents are very strict Christians then it is unlikely they will ever be happy about it

What about if they see that I am not willing to convert their son?

As far as I know, a Christian guy can marry a non Christian girl. So, if we get married, he will not do something against to his religion. And I will never want to convert him. Strict Christians want Christian brides no matter what? =)

PT2014

27 Mar 2014

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

I have no idea about Catholic wedding ceremony but if it is a must for him, I'm okay with it. In Turkey, we have two types of weddings. Civil marriage (it is a must and it has nothing to do with religion) and "nikah" (Muslim ceremony but since Piotr is not a Muslim, this will not be the case when we get married).

Baptise your children? Or, if they're boys, circumcise them?

Wow, this was a hard question. I have never thought about it. Piotr and I did not talk about this. I can teach them Islam and they can teach them the Christianity. The kids can decide their religion in time. But those rituals... :) Circumcision is not a must to be a Muslim, it's sunnah (if you do, that's very nice... if you do not, no big deal), no fard (compulsory). So the boys don't have to be circumcised, they can still be a Muslim if they decide so.

In two weeks, I will go to Poland to visit him and I will meet with his parents. I am sure we will talk a lot about me and religion after the conversation gets deeper. I started to think that I should tell all these to them too.

PT2014

28 Mar 2014

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

Good Luck in life:)

Your marriage is such a nice example for me. Thank you so much. :)

Best of luck to You.

It is so relaxing for me to know about couples who managed to work it out. I hope Piotr and I can be like that girl's parents too. And thanks a lot. :)

Your parents might be okay with it but what about the rest of your family and other people who will find out about it?

I don't care that much about what other relatives think. Probably some of them will not like it but the reason for that will be just prejudices, you know, a non-muslim and foreigner guy will be automatically a "bad guy" in their eyes but Piotr is such a polite and nice person in reality. The permissions of my dad and mom were crucial and thankfully they liked Piotr and now both my mom and dad are okay with it.

lso, I know that technically Turkish civil law allows for Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men but how long will that last? Erdogan's agenda (beyond stealing as much as he can) is clearly to islamize the legal code. Hopefully his present problems will continue and he'll soon disappear but there are conservative elements are on the rise in Turkey.

Yeah, since Turkey is a secular state, if a muslim girl wants to marry a non-muslim guy, she can marry. And indeed, I know so many Turkish girls who are married non-muslim guys. But I'll be the first one in my family. And for the rise of conservative elements, so many Turkish people are muslim but they like to live in a secular state and they would do anything if someone tried to limit them. For example drinking alcoholic drinks, so many muslims in Turkey drink and if anyone tries to limit them they start to speak up. I mean, it's not so easy to limit the freedoms of Turkish people drastically.

How would this affect travel in other muslim countries (if you ever want/have to pass through or visit them)?

I am sorry, I couldn't understand this question fully I guess. :)

Good luck :)

Thank you! :)

(I wrote thank you in Turkish hours ago but they deleted it I think, I didn't know that rule)

Hi again!

I was in Poland for 4 days to meet with my boyfriend and his family, just got back home today. Everything went perfect. It seemed like his parents liked me a lot. I liked them too. His mother asked me if I really want to marry Piotr and if I am ready and such. I said yes and she smiled so genuinely. :)

Thank you so much to all who answered my question and motivated me. :)

PT2014

28 Apr 2015

Love / Turkish girl & Polish guy marriage. Will his parents ever accept me as a non Christian female? [42]

Hello again! I just saw the new replies. Thank you all for taking your time to reply my question. I appreciate that.

Piotr and I got married and we are doing fine. :) His parents accepted me and they are nice to me. Different religions did not cause any problems so far. Piotr is such an understanding and respectful person. He even woke me up for suhoor a few times. In my opinion, international marriages can be super interesting and nice. Both Piotr and I learned a lot about each others culture. For example I am still learning how to make dishes from Polish cuisine which has awesome dishes. Thankfully I faced nothing bad but it must be because Piotr and his family are respectful.

So... Wish you guys all happiness. I am myself super happy with my Piotr. :)

Oh and about marriage rules... As rock stated before, in Turkey people can marry whoever they love. Religion does not matter.