Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


But that lack of love has a lot of influence on other things. Including the kids. Parents for example treat a kid inappropriately. Making them their 'buddy' against the other parent, or a semi-partner.

And then at what stage can parents brake up? What is the age?

I heard about quite a few instances when it was the growing up kids that told their parents to let it go finally e.g. know a guy who told his mother she should divorce when he was 14 (non abusive, not ill etc)

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


There is also emotionally, financially...


Want to is one thing. Getting destroyed by it is another. Especially since more and more parents see the importance of making the process as peaceful as possible. And since more fathers keep significant role in their kids life.


But mommy that is not feeling depressed, that has the energy and willingness to play and do staff will do.

When my nice split up with her ex if was actually her friends that saw her after a long time said:

- Wow, you look so happy and you are smiling so much.

And recently she noticed that since the break up she doesn't seem to get angry.

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


The guy himself is saying she is planning to go full time work so she can support herself. Every women I know that split with their partner is supporting herself independently. The only one I know that tried to get the alimony is where the guy cheated and left her.

I'm not gaslighting, I'm disagreeing with you.

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


Or observations and comments coming from the kids themselves (when they grow up).


It seems she is already prepared to pay for herself- once they split she will pay her way. So what's next?

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


Parents braking up is hard on kids but there is plenty that are not destroyed.
She will still look after her kid, the father seems a good guy that will be there for his son as well..


And what could he do to 'not to put up with that crap'?

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


Maybe. But that is big assumption.
Even in that case things remain- she is unhappy know and doesn't love the guy.
Would you want to stay with a women that is unhappy with you and said she doesn't love you?

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

That is not an excuse, that is explaining why she feels the way she is feeling.


For one she might not be looking.
Second, we don't know what catch she is capable of and what she might consider better.

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


What excuses.


Being in an unhappy relationship is not a whim in my opinion.

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


I'm not making excuses. I'm saying what I think about the situation and her motivation.


What do you mean by that?

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


Considering they spend 10 years together it doesn'tseem to be the case.
While obviously it would have been better if they managed to love and support each other for the rest of their lives it doesn't always work that way.

If my partner stopped loving and caring for me I would rather move on then spend my years in a lie.

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


What the hell?

People have the right to decide the relationship doesn't work. No matter if your partner is decent or not. Especially when you were 19 when it all started!

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

To me it all sounds straightforward if very painful to you.

You had a kid when she was very young and before you two had the chance to decide whether you actually want to go that way. As you did you went straight to family like.

Now the kid is getting bigger and she has time to think. She is still young. She is doing work and school, meeting new people, having a view of a different life and sees that she is not happy with what she has.

Of course there is the option that she is cheating or using you but it seems to me that your life together burned out. Considering her age when it started, her age now, kids age and how long the relationship lasted it is my bet that she just want to end it. I'm really sorry for you but I don'tthink there is anything you can do. Focus on yourself and the kid.


That he should try harder, or be more of a partner, or pay attention to her...There is plenty to choose from. Not saying that it's necessarily a case here.


After 10 years of relationshipshe may as well not want to go to dating.

Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]


I know quite a few that did just that. My niece couldn't be happier after she finished her relationship.


And how is he going to do that?

While I agree new guy is a danger you can't reasonably stop her from forming new relationship.

If it's true that she just has enough of the relationship then neither fighting for it nor being 'tough' will not work.

If it's her way of trying to wake him up to something then that will kill it off.

OP- you sound decent so I'm sorry about your relationship. The only thing that will work is talking with her.

Off-Topic / Things We Love [297]

Talking to kids. Really like the way they see the world.

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


Buy unsalted one :) I just don't see a point. If I want butter with salt I can sprinkle it on top. Thankfully all the supermarket sell unsalted versions now.


Suròwka from kapusta kiszona is to die for with fried fish!


Question I have here : does Atch mean fish on Christmas day or Christmas Eve?

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


Cam you explain a bit more?

I know- national speed limit when it's obvious driving more than 40 will end with head on collision

Off-Topic / Things We Love [297]


Of course but in autumn/winter it gets elevated to another level!


I think I hate folding the most and sorting. Ironing with a nice music or nice show and I can crack on. And it makes me feel like an adult :)

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


You....you...BLASPHEMER!!!!!!

Off-Topic / Things We Love [297]

Yupee! Another great thread. Thanks Atch.

Nice Earl Grey with lemon on a autumn/ winter afternoon

News / Poland Sports News [1116]

Well, they lost 2 games for now and Poland one so I guess Poland would be super invincible.

News / Poland Sports News [1116]

And my fears materialised. Poland didn't manage to bounce back this time and lost 3-0 to Serbia

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


I know but I wanted to make sure to distinguish them from actual boxes.

I hate that they let cold air in. Especially if someone doesn't push things all the way through, that your mail lands on the floor of your main entrance and makes it hard to come in and I hate that strangers can throw stuff into your house just like that.

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


And yet it is permitted. So obviously it was decided that the risk is worth it.

But hey ho, my little annoyance with it will stay just that. It's not like it's going to change just because I hate it.

I have new thing: letter slots in door. I don't want to think how annoyed post people are with those new door with letter slots at the bottom....

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


It's too dangerous, ok. Then why it's not that dangerous in the kitchen?

I know Standing Order but the amount has to be the same, obviously and still there is a date set and it just leaves your account.

Good side of DD is that you can recall it. Not the case with transfer.

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


Life is about calculating risk.
I'm prepared to live with that risk. Especially since I already live with electrical sockets in kitchen where I have plenty of water or outside sockets.


Standing order is basically the same thing from my points of view. Where I can I pay by transfer e.g. water.

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]


I do and it's charching in the bedroom. Annoying.


First you have to set up the recipient, then you have o make the transfer and then remove it again so it doesn't clutter your bank account. Pain in the bottom.


The matter is l
That I'm not too fond of Dirwct debit? Wasn't clear enough?

SO is basicallythe same thing. And many places require DD or charge more if you don't set it up

News / Poland Sports News [1116]

Another 5 seter. I'm anxious because they keep having bad moments...at some point they may not have the opportunity to catch up.

News / Poland Sports News [1116]

Today it was Poland- Iran. Very entertaining! After the first 2 sets I thought Poland is done for and then...Poland just woke up. Set 4 we crashed Iran. Just pure fun. Especially with beer at hand :)

Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]

For the record- I didn't mean cashless transactions, just setting up direct debit for bills etc. I would much ratherpay them by transfer on my own.

News / Poland Sports News [1116]

Sorry, never mentioned :) Vollleyball