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Posts by Lenka  

Joined: 17 Nov 2009 / Female ♀
Warnings: 1 - T
Last Post: 16 hrs ago
Threads: Total: 5 / Live: 3 / Archived: 2
Posts: Total: 3563 / Live: 2696 / Archived: 867
From: Polska
Speaks Polish?: yes
Interests: Books

Displayed posts: 2699 / page 27 of 90
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Lenka   
17 Jun 2023
Law / Can a tenant change locks to house without giving access to the landlord [37]

Oh my, what a nice picture of cultural misunderstanding.

So Jon, Paulina doesn't understand what you are saying because the market is so differentin Poland.

@Paulina- private renting market has quite significant drawbacks.

Pumping the prices, insecurity for families etc.

In UK unless at some point you get something from the council/housing association you have 2 choices: buy or have a private landlord.

Private landlords e.g. kick their tenants out if the rent in the area rises a lot ( like now) and look for new one so they can have the higher rent.

Family may be renting property for over 10 years and yet get 2 months to move out.
If you split with your partner many agencies ask you to reapply for the property and you may not get it if they think your financial status is at risk.
Lenka   
15 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

It's the classic female infidelity model...

That is funny as I'm yet to meet a guy that would live his long term partner because the relationship doesn't and not because they have someone on the side.

And it's not the point in this case anyway.
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

just not loving a non-abusive, non-mentally ill or non-addicted spouse is not a good enough reason

But that lack of love has a lot of influence on other things. Including the kids. Parents for example treat a kid inappropriately. Making them their 'buddy' against the other parent, or a semi-partner.

And then at what stage can parents brake up? What is the age?

I heard about quite a few instances when it was the growing up kids that told their parents to let it go finally e.g. know a guy who told his mother she should divorce when he was 14 (non abusive, not ill etc)
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

biologically from around 18-27 is ideal....

There is also emotionally, financially...

research shows kids really don't want their parents to split

Want to is one thing. Getting destroyed by it is another. Especially since more and more parents see the importance of making the process as peaceful as possible. And since more fathers keep significant role in their kids life.

mommy feeling she's missing out and going out with random men will not make the son feel good...

But mommy that is not feeling depressed, that has the energy and willingness to play and do staff will do.

When my nice split up with her ex if was actually her friends that saw her after a long time said:

- Wow, you look so happy and you are smiling so much.

And recently she noticed that since the break up she doesn't seem to get angry.
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

No she doesn't. You know it too.

The guy himself is saying she is planning to go full time work so she can support herself. Every women I know that split with their partner is supporting herself independently. The only one I know that tried to get the alimony is where the guy cheated and left her.

I'm not gaslighting, I'm disagreeing with you.
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

women absolve themselves from taking responsibility

Or observations and comments coming from the kids themselves (when they grow up).

how about we switch, now you pay bills.

It seems she is already prepared to pay for herself- once they split she will pay her way. So what's next?
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

She has family to take care for. That her happiness, would she destroy her own son in the name of a fleeting feeling?

Parents braking up is hard on kids but there is plenty that are not destroyed.
She will still look after her kid, the father seems a good guy that will be there for his son as well..

men that put up with that crap are tools.

And what could he do to 'not to put up with that crap'?
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

No, she is feeling ambitious

Maybe. But that is big assumption.
Even in that case things remain- she is unhappy know and doesn't love the guy.
Would you want to stay with a women that is unhappy with you and said she doesn't love you?
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

That is not an excuse, that is explaining why she feels the way she is feeling.

she is not a catch and won't do much better if at all.

For one she might not be looking.
Second, we don't know what catch she is capable of and what she might consider better.
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

People are not like gloves

Considering they spend 10 years together it doesn'tseem to be the case.
While obviously it would have been better if they managed to love and support each other for the rest of their lives it doesn't always work that way.

If my partner stopped loving and caring for me I would rather move on then spend my years in a lie.
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

That would work if women wanted decent men, but so many of them.... don't....

What the hell?

People have the right to decide the relationship doesn't work. No matter if your partner is decent or not. Especially when you were 19 when it all started!
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

To me it all sounds straightforward if very painful to you.

You had a kid when she was very young and before you two had the chance to decide whether you actually want to go that way. As you did you went straight to family like.

Now the kid is getting bigger and she has time to think. She is still young. She is doing work and school, meeting new people, having a view of a different life and sees that she is not happy with what she has.

Of course there is the option that she is cheating or using you but it seems to me that your life together burned out. Considering her age when it started, her age now, kids age and how long the relationship lasted it is my bet that she just want to end it. I'm really sorry for you but I don'tthink there is anything you can do. Focus on yourself and the kid.

it would be a very odd way of waking him up to anything

That he should try harder, or be more of a partner, or pay attention to her...There is plenty to choose from. Not saying that it's necessarily a case here.

29 years old with a nine-year old son is not going to make her prize dating material

After 10 years of relationshipshe may as well not want to go to dating.
Lenka   
14 Jun 2023
Love / Relationship Issues with my polish girlfriend advice needed [76]

She either has someone else already or is pretty sure she can tie a particular guy down once she's free of you

I know quite a few that did just that. My niece couldn't be happier after she finished her relationship.

Make it clear you're not going to let her put your son in danger.

And how is he going to do that?

While I agree new guy is a danger you can't reasonably stop her from forming new relationship.

If it's true that she just has enough of the relationship then neither fighting for it nor being 'tough' will not work.

If it's her way of trying to wake him up to something then that will kill it off.

OP- you sound decent so I'm sorry about your relationship. The only thing that will work is talking with her.
Lenka   
11 Jun 2023
Off-Topic / Things We Love [288]

Talking to kids. Really like the way they see the world.
Lenka   
11 Jun 2023
Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]

I've known a few Poles there who really dislike salted butter.

Buy unsalted one :) I just don't see a point. If I want butter with salt I can sprinkle it on top. Thankfully all the supermarket sell unsalted versions now.

Kapusta kiszona belongs in the bin,

Suròwka from kapusta kiszona is to die for with fried fish!

At home we sometimes had halibut at Christmas.

Question I have here : does Atch mean fish on Christmas day or Christmas Eve?
Lenka   
11 Jun 2023
Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]

The huge distances between places.

Cam you explain a bit more?

I know- national speed limit when it's obvious driving more than 40 will end with head on collision
Lenka   
11 Jun 2023
Off-Topic / Things We Love [288]

Nice Earl Grey with lemon for a round year

Of course but in autumn/winter it gets elevated to another level!

In fact everything laundry related except ironing!

I think I hate folding the most and sorting. Ironing with a nice music or nice show and I can crack on. And it makes me feel like an adult :)
Lenka   
11 Jun 2023
Off-Topic / Things We Love [288]

Yupee! Another great thread. Thanks Atch.

Nice Earl Grey with lemon on a autumn/ winter afternoon
Lenka   
11 Jun 2023
News / Poland Sports News [1116]

Well, they lost 2 games for now and Poland one so I guess Poland would be super invincible.
Lenka   
11 Jun 2023
News / Poland Sports News [1116]

And my fears materialised. Poland didn't manage to bounce back this time and lost 3-0 to Serbia
Lenka   
10 Jun 2023
Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]

They're called a letter box

I know but I wanted to make sure to distinguish them from actual boxes.

I hate that they let cold air in. Especially if someone doesn't push things all the way through, that your mail lands on the floor of your main entrance and makes it hard to come in and I hate that strangers can throw stuff into your house just like that.
Lenka   
10 Jun 2023
Off-Topic / Things you can't get used to in your new country [95]

It is dangerous in the kitchen if you touch a socket with wet hands.

And yet it is permitted. So obviously it was decided that the risk is worth it.

But hey ho, my little annoyance with it will stay just that. It's not like it's going to change just because I hate it.

I have new thing: letter slots in door. I don't want to think how annoyed post people are with those new door with letter slots at the bottom....