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How can I receive child support from a Polish man living in UK?


qwert 1 | 4  
19 Jun 2009 /  #1
Hello.
I am a foreigner who currently lives in Poland with my daughter.
She is 5 years old and her father is a Polish.
He has never paid (not even 1PLN) since she was born and for more, never seen her for over 4 years. He still try to contact me by mails when he feels like however has never mentioned about money.

He lives and works in UK for past 4 years.
I had tough time but luckily, I and my girl have peaceful life now because of helps from my family and friends.I thank them so much.

Since my condition got lot better, I finally am able to ask for law processes for child support.I am thinking to go for Polish court to force him to pay.

Would anyone know what I should do in such a case?
Shall I go to Polish court or UK? I am planning to consult with a lawyer about the issue soon but if there're some advices you can give, it'd be great.

Thank you,
gumishu 11 | 5,701  
19 Jun 2009 /  #2
if he acknowledged his parenthood of the child it should be no problem getting the court to order him to support the child - however Polish legal authorities often have a hard time finding Polish person living abroad and getting the person to really pay his contributions - I am not quite sure about the state of the state child support fund - there was no such thing for 2 or 3 years in place and then it was reinstated in some form around 2 years back - anyway if the father cannot afford supporting the child the state fund does pay you some support (not very high though) - I am not quite sure weather it is the same case with the situation when Polish legal authorities cannot find the person in question abroad (but it seems logical)

I have no idea if there is any sense going to an English (or Scottish) court - it would be quite problematic and anything but cheap for you - so try to investigate every opportunity for dealing with the issue before a Polish court

my knowlegde of these things is quite superficial though and maybe I am mislead on some points - so you should inform yourself with a professional lawyer - there may be some lawyers in NonGovernment Organizations - for example Liga Kobiet or simmilar that perhaps could advise you on the matter for free (gratis)
OP qwert 1 | 4  
19 Jun 2009 /  #3
Thank you for the quick respond.
I know that my case is unusual and difficult to seek the examples.
However, your respond was helpful:)
I was also doubting that if Polish court would chase my daughter's father to UK for child support. One good thing is I am independent and earn good enough to feed both of me and my child. There are so many women and kids who suffer from financial problem.

Once, I was thinking I don't need any money from this guy, but then I changed my mind that no matter how much I earn, he has responsibilities for his child, and money is one of them, surely.

I will keep searching what I can do for the best.
Thank you again.
1jola 14 | 1,879  
19 Jun 2009 /  #4
You keep saying my girl, my child, and then when it comes to money it is our child. I suggest you take care of your child yourself.
Lir  
19 Jun 2009 /  #5
I will keep searching what I can do for the best.

has never mentioned about money

Have you actually asked him for any money ? Might be easier to ask him before you start paying a lawyer especially when it sounds like you don't have much money yourself ?

It wouldn't appear to me that a UK Court would take the claim as you say you are a foreigner <which Country do you come from originally ? > living in Poland.

Just because the alleged father happens to be working in UK , it doesn't mean he is a UK citizen ? Also, you have no proof he is the father anyway and you would need o get a dna test carried out first I would assume ?

Isn't Seanus the legal expert around here :)
1jola 14 | 1,879  
19 Jun 2009 /  #6
There are too many unknowns here to discuss it. He is not here to speak and maybe you don't deserve support. Who knows. Seek legal help if you must, but this is hardly a place for divorce court.
Lir  
19 Jun 2009 /  #7
you don't deserve support.

You can't say that ! Why ? Because it is support for a child and the child never asked to be born. Two people made it and two people should support it !

Any man or woman who has a child should pay to the person who is raising the child an element of support. It never has been whether or not someone deserves it !!

but this is hardly a place for divorce court.

She never mentioned divorce court ! All she mentioned was asking for some advice re child support.

Hmmm.......men lol.

:)
1jola 14 | 1,879  
19 Jun 2009 /  #8
Because it is support for a child and the child never asked to be born. Two people made it and two people should support it !

Do you think children are a joy? I think so. What is the guy's or his daughter's joy in this case? Postcards?

Oh, she is going to mention divorce if she wants child support.

Hmmm.......men lol.

Hmmm, some women. lol.
ragtime27 1 | 146  
19 Jun 2009 /  #9
What do you expect,he's a polish man trying to defend another polish man....polish pride.
Lir  
19 Jun 2009 /  #10
polish pride.

That has nothing to do with Polish pride.......

Men who don't support their children are in every country. A proud Polish man wouldn't abandon his children, EVER !!
1jola 14 | 1,879  
19 Jun 2009 /  #11
I don't care if he's Greek.

Let's do this. Let's ask him if the girl can live with him and Gwert can pay child support to him.
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
19 Jun 2009 /  #12
You keep saying my girl, my child, and then when it comes to money it is our child. I suggest you take care of your child yourself.

Yeah she'll just get other people besides the father to support the child. What a great idea!
1jola 14 | 1,879  
19 Jun 2009 /  #13
You missed the point. Hint, raising children is not just paying for stuff.
fred_chopin  
19 Jun 2009 /  #14
Hint, raising children is not just paying for stuff.

But it sure goes a long way. If the man is the man, he should be a man and man up.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
19 Jun 2009 /  #15
I wish you all the best! It's a tragedy when people don't realise their obligations, moral included. Some Poles are stingier than the Scots, this is a reality apart from the stereotype.
Harry  
19 Jun 2009 /  #16
I know that my case is unusual and difficult to seek the examples.

Your case is not that unusual at all. The fact that you are a foreign living in Poland has no effect at all on the case (assuming that you are here legally).

It's not a problem to have a Polish court decision enforced in the UK.

You really do need to speak to the father first and explain that his daughter needs him to pay for half of the things she needs. If he says no, you need to get professional advice. I'd also recommend Liga Kobiet. If they can't help you, they will know somebody who can.

And ignore 1jola: he's just a pathetic excuse for a man. He's such a loser that he joined the coldwar-era US airforce and was ready to drop bombs on Poland. Now Poland's freedom has been won by other people fighting for Poland, he's come back here and pretends to be a proud Polish patriot (which is why he automatically defends another Pole against an 'attack' from a dirty stinking foreigner).
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
19 Jun 2009 /  #17
I'm reminded of a divorce case where the judge was granting a woman 'maintenance' for two years. In this case the woman demanded an amount of money so that she could live

in a "lifestyle that she became accustomed to" during their 10 years of marriage.

The man said, "if that's the case then I've been accustomed to sex twice a week" and suggested that the judge grant him that. Of course the man didn't really want relations with his ex wife but he was making a point, one that seems logical. Naturally, this seems absurd but then so do many judgements that the anti-male court systems hand out.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
19 Jun 2009 /  #18
This is highly specialised stuff, Lir. I haven't kept in touch with such provisions. Teaching is a broad church. Being a lawyer means being sure of risk being caught out for giving bad advice. That's not the life I want to live.
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,443  
19 Jun 2009 /  #19
good starting point. He owns you money, so good luck:).
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
20 Jun 2009 /  #20
Not sure how it works in Poland but if in the UK you were chasing, you dont need a lawyer, you just need his address (if he is paying council tax he will be registered) and then you need to get in contact with the CSA (child support agency) - they will get in touch with him and assess his income and how much he needs to pay to you (it is important you pin him down to an address!). Im sure that there are policies in place in Poland that are similar, be sneeky and get all the information you can out of him!

You missed the point. Hint, raising children is not just paying for stuff.

Tell that to a mother who has to pay for shoes every 3 months for a child of 5! Or clothe or feed! Of course a child needs love but they also need the basics to survive! Not just the sperm that he provided, if this child was planned and he walked out then he needs to pay!
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
20 Jun 2009 /  #21
Really? Doesn't there have to be some sort of proof that this man is the father?
If he admits it then ok. I'm reminded of something that is unfortunately typical here in the states: A woman has sex with several men, gets pregnant and then accuses the man who has the most money of being the father. I'm not making this up and indeed, there is a reality program which shows this stuff every day. More often than not the accused man is proven not to be the father (after a DNA test).

I'm not suggesting that this is the case here. But it is curious that women are automatically believed until proven to be liars (and sluts and gold diggers).
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
20 Jun 2009 /  #22
Really? Doesn't there have to be some sort of proof that this man is the father?

Yes the CSA was set up to make men pay for their children to take the burden off the State, his salary is assessed and a % taken by the CSA and paid to the mother, even if he is receiving social secruity benefits, they take a % of that. As to whether he is not the father, thats up to him to prove otherwise.

I'm reminded of something that is unfortunately typical here in the states: A woman has sex with several men, gets pregnant and then accuses the man who has the most money of being the father. I'm not making this up and indeed, there is a reality program which shows this stuff every day.

Same here in the UK sweety!
OP qwert 1 | 4  
30 Jun 2009 /  #23
Hello.
Thank you all for the replies.
I am so sorry that I didn't write anything for such a long time.
I've read through all the comments and picked up some useful information.
There were some opinions which I couldn't appriciate however I thank you for sharing your time and giving me the suggestions.

I wouldn't write all the details about my situation but I know the guy is the father of my child( I wouldn't mind of taking a test for it, cos I am 120% sure and moreover, the child looks exactly like her father) and I have mentioned about the child support few times face to face, even asked to sign up for document saying that he will pay certain amount monthly. He did not agree to sign. Also about my income issue, I have no financial problems but I still believe he has to pay as long as he is the father, it doesn't matter how much I earn. I am here legally as I answer someone's reply.

To 1jola, seems like you live in the world I don't live in, but it's ok. I see your opinion and I guess you may be a good friend with the father of my child, maybe you can advise him to pay:)

Thank you again
Pani_Polska - | 89  
30 Jun 2009 /  #24
Good luck and dont listen to the negative comments! Definitely seek legal advice in Poland, I dont know how much the UK will help you.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
1 Jul 2009 /  #25
I know the guy is the father of my child( I wouldn't mind of taking a test for it, cos I am 120% sure and moreover, the child looks exactly like her father)

It's interesting that you "know" that this man is the father. All women seeking child support from specific individuals claim to "know" who the father is ----- only to discover thru DNA testing that the accused was not the father.

Also noteworthy is that you did not use the following reason to support your claim. You did not state that this man is the only one who could be the father if you understand my meaning.

I have mentioned about the child support few times face to face, even asked to sign up for document saying that he will pay certain amount monthly. He did not agree to sign.

He has doubts that the child is his.

I have no financial problems but I still believe he has to pay as long as he is the father,

I agree, but as you state; "as long as he is the father."

You keep saying my girl, my child, and then when it comes to money it is our child.

That is a most unpleasant trait that most women have. They speak this way and 'feel' this way at a subconscious and conscious level.

Good luck and dont listen to the negative comments

Only listen to male-bashing feminists.
OP qwert 1 | 4  
1 Jul 2009 /  #26
ZIMMY
Yeah, I understand your point of you, but saying my blah my blah is the most unpleasnt trait of us(women) -as you wrote-, it's strange for me saying our when I actually doing everthing according to this child alone. I mean EVERYTHING. I can tell some of people might say then I should not ask for any money,cavilers. The thing I don't get is that, as long as I understood from all the conversations with him, he knows it's his(he is saying "my daughter" all the time) so I don't believe that he doubts if she is his. Moreover he wants to take all the parts as a father EXCEPT paying. He would love to keep her pictures in his wallet (probably to show people how poor he is by blaming me that I wouldn't let him have her as he wants to. The pictures in his wallet work for some airheads, you know?)

It's hard to believe people like that exist, at least for me...until I met him. However if you don't have those " Positive energy thieves" around you, you are lucky.

It was my mistake totally that I chose the guy, but I am pleased receiving such a beautiful gift (my,yes my daughter) instead, ironically.

Don't take it as all the comments you don't agree are posted by male-bashing feminists.
There are men or women who have no choice but being bashed due to thier perspectives. I still believe in relationships. Boy, I am too young to give up on it!

Have a nice day:)
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
2 Jul 2009 /  #27
qwert

Ignore him he's a ****! I dont feel I need to add anything to that!
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,161  
2 Jul 2009 /  #28
he knows it's his(he is saying "my daughter" all the time)

But is he legally a father of the child ? Did he officially admitted his parenthood ? This is very important. If he did then like gumishu wrote this is a very simple case. He must pay. Polish courts are very slow, so It will take time (especially as he lives abroad) but you will win the case for sure. However If he isn't legally the father then this is a completely different issue.
LAGirl 9 | 496  
3 Jul 2009 /  #29
Are you sure he is the father you keep saying your girl maybe you had your kid on your own makes sure its his before you make some poor man pay and if he is the father make his ass pay.
OP qwert 1 | 4  
3 Jul 2009 /  #30
Hello,thank you for the new posts.
Yes, he is the father and it's proved officially.
He has already signed on documents both in Poland and my country.
So please stop asking if he is the father.

I am amazed how many people can say such a thing.
I know there are some girls who try to get money out of men by saying he is a father, but I know he is and moreover he admitted and that's the fact in my case.

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