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Child with Polish ex, is 275 Euros a normal amount for child maintenance?


amoeba 2 | 10  
3 Jun 2009 /  #1
Hi all - not sure if I am in the right forum here -

A couple years back I met a Plish girl here in Ireland, we began a relationship and seemed to be getting on fine. She got preganant and dissapeared back to Poland - told me that she was staying there and not coming back. I naturally felt hurt and angry and ceased communication with her. As soon as the baby was born she began looking for money, i refused to pay anything as i felt that I had been used and deceived into something. She then began legal proceedings - the court awarded here €200 per month plus €75 per month to pay off the back dated monies... also they awarded her 3,600 PLN lump sum for when the child was born, Im just wondering does this seem a large amount of maintenance for me to be paying? I earn approx 2,200 € after tax per month. Im married and have a mortgage, as you probably know - Ireland is not cheap place to live, and I am under the impression that Poland is quite a cheap place to live.

So do you think im getting a raw deal or is that quite a normal price to pay?

Appreciate feedback

Aa
McCoy 27 | 1,275  
3 Jun 2009 /  #2
do you think im getting a raw deal or is that quite a normal price to pay?

its your fcuking blood man, you should be thinking about taking part in raising the kid, not about money you have to spend on him or her.
OP amoeba 2 | 10  
3 Jun 2009 /  #3
Sorry i forgot to mention that she wants me to have no input in the childs life -

to be honest I dont either - that might seem cold - but so be it
McCoy 27 | 1,275  
3 Jun 2009 /  #4
why do you want this little man to pay for your and her mistakes? dont you want to see the love in his/her eyes, dont you want to hold him/her in your arms and feel this little heart beating. i dont fcuking get it. being a parent is one of the greatest things. its your life and youll do whatever you decide but if i could give you an advice it would be dont be a cvnt and dont give up.
Ironside 49 | 10,626  
3 Jun 2009 /  #5
So do you think im getting a raw deal or is that quite a normal price to pay?

200€ per month is not huge sum in Poland and considering your earnings and all a think you got a fair deal!
Have you been married while indulging yourself into that relationship?
OP amoeba 2 | 10  
3 Jun 2009 /  #6
Have you been married while indulging yourself into that relationship?

if you mean was i cheating on my wife? then no - the Polish girl I was with (i found out afterwards was many times)
fred_chopin  
3 Jun 2009 /  #7
(i found out afterwards was many times)

Are you sure the kid is yours then? If the kid is your's for sure, Man Up and Pay Up.
Kapusta 2 | 66  
3 Jun 2009 /  #8
Just what I was about to write. :)

If you're the Dad then you got to pay, but you should find out for sure. You don't want to spend the next 18 years paying for a child that's not yours.

I am under the impression that Poland is quite a cheap place to live.

Depends where in Poland you live.
OP amoeba 2 | 10  
3 Jun 2009 /  #9
why do you want this little man to pay for your and her mistakes?

To be honest im dont fancy taking the odd trip over to poland to see a child who cant understand a word i say - its like this girl used me as a donor, its been a long and hard legal battle to get to where I am today (she initially tried to take me for €600 per month.)

Plus I am not the paternal type
theblueenigma 3 | 188  
3 Jun 2009 /  #10
Im married and have a mortgage, as you probably know - Ireland is not cheap place to live, and I am under the impression that Poland is quite a cheap place to live.

From my understanding, In Ireland if you werent working you would have to give the child E200 a month or roughly 1/4 of your social welfare benefit. You earn over E2000 a month so a miserable E200 out of your salary (1/10th) to take care of a child you decided to bring into the world isnt a whole lot of money now is it. E200 a month wouldnt even pay the rent for a one bedroom appartment in Poland, and it is well below the minimum wage

here. Poland isnt as cheap as you may imagine.

If you are so concerned about money, perhaps you should consider staying away from the pub a couple of nights a month, that should recoup the E200 you are paying to support a life you decided to bring into the world.

Next time wear a condom

To be honest im dont fancy taking the odd trip over to poland to see a child who cant understand a word i say

Im guessing people on this forum are going to treat you in a very derogatory manner
OP amoeba 2 | 10  
3 Jun 2009 /  #11
Well i dont drink - you sound the sterotypical bitter and twisted single mother type? Are you?

I came on here for some feedback - not moral tutoring
moonlight 6 | 103  
3 Jun 2009 /  #12
If the child was living with you, you would be paying A LOT more than a miserable €275.
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,444  
3 Jun 2009 /  #13
find out if you a the father and pay up.

If she thinks you are then you need to do it. If not, then you are off the hook.

I am not going to comment on the moral of that story though:)
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
3 Jun 2009 /  #14
Get a paternity test done, if she refuses then refuse to pay on those grounds.

easydna.co.uk/content/index.php?section_id=1

Ive actually said before that if a woman gets pregnant in deceitful way then I dont feel a man should be held responsible for paying for the rest of his life. She left Ireland and didnt want anything to do with him, now she wants money but is still not offering him any contact with the child (good job he doesnt want it really)...Not only sperm donner but cash machine too...

If the child was living with you, you would be paying A LOT more than a miserable €275.

Thats nearly £300 quid at todays rate, my mate doesnt get that off her ex husband a month no where near!
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
3 Jun 2009 /  #15
Over 1000PLN for child maintenance is a heck of a lot to be paying.
theblueenigma 3 | 188  
3 Jun 2009 /  #16
if you mean was i cheating on my wife? then no - the Polish girl I was with (i found out afterwards was many times)

Well thats a different story. Then a paternity test is in order, I certainly wouldnt pay for a child that wasnt mine.

I came on here for some feedback - not moral tutoring

You have got feedback, I suspect anything moral would be lost on you.

Well i dont drink - you sound the sterotypical bitter and twisted single mother type? Are you?

Not at all, Im Irish and a male without children actually. Im just of the oppinion that if you make something its your responsibility. You were with her, you decided not to wear a condom . .perhaps you should have forseen the possibility of child maintenance then, rather than being a father

Considering you earn over 2000 a month, E200 for your child (wanted or not) seems reasonable, that is indeed if it is your kid

Over 1000PLN for child maintenance is a heck of a lot to be paying.

Not if he is earning over E2200 a month, its a fraction of his earnings. I assume the court of law took into consideration how much he earned before awarding maintenance. Im not a mother, but I suspect it is very difficult to survive on 899 PLN a month, which is what he is actually paying, the extra E75 being back dated and will cease once he has paid what he owed previously. Im pretty sure if the child was in Ireland and wanted to live with him he would end up paying a hell of a lot more.

Well i dont drink

Perhaps you should start
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
3 Jun 2009 /  #17
Sorry i forgot to mention that she wants me to have no input in the childs life -

to be honest I dont either - that might seem cold - but so be it

Oh well. You made the baby you got to pay your part to take care of him or her. You can't expect to not pay child support. Just because your relationship soured doesn't mean the courts allow you to pretend like the entire relationship never happened.

Think of it this way and someone already mentioned it. If she and the baby were with you it would cost you A LOT more inconvenience in time and money. You would be doing much more and it would be much harder. You would be paying utilities, housing, food, clothing, everything! You would have to spend time away from your favorite passtimes to actually raise your kid.

You are getting off cheap.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
3 Jun 2009 /  #18
Im pretty sure if the child was in Ireland and wanted to live with him he would end up paying a hell of a lot more.

Dont bet on it!

Again Igy this bloke didnt want a kid by the sound of it and she didnt want to be with him, let Poland take care of her, she's their problem! Surely she can claim some benefits or even go wild and get a job to support her and her child!

Had it been a long serious relationship that broke down I would view it differently, seems like it was a bit of fun and she left when it stopped being fun, but left with a bit of extra baggage!
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
3 Jun 2009 /  #19
she's their problem!

No, the child is his and her responsibility and he has to pay child support like it or not. He is getting off cheap but he cannot get off scot free!

You can't just create the baby and say "it's not my problem".
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
3 Jun 2009 /  #20
First make sure it's your child (DNA-testing). It would be stupid to pay 200 € x 12 months x 18 years = 43 000 € for a child that is not yours.

she wants me to have no input in the childs life

Seems like a heartless b*tch.
mvefa  
3 Jun 2009 /  #21
Well dude, you gotta step up, you decided not to use a condom, its not like she forced you or something. Morality aside, well i can say that you are getting off cheap. 275 its really nothing compared to what i have seen here in western Europe.

You had a child, you dont want him/her, but you still have a legal responsability over him/her, just deal with it. BUT just in case, ask for a paternity test, just in case.

Good luck
niejestemcapita 2 | 561  
3 Jun 2009 /  #22
You had a child,

yeh but did he? I really think he should make sure it's his first. Then pay the minimum if it's his. I bet she has one of those t shirts saying GOLDDIGGA, and a fake tan. Oh ok u agree, cool...:)
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
3 Jun 2009 /  #23
First make sure it's your child (DNA-testing). It would be stupid to pay 200 € x 12 months x 18 years = 43 000 € for a child that is not yours.

Well, yes, all this is assuming the child is really his. You establish paternity, then the courts make you pay your part. If she wasn't seeing anyone else at the time and you pretty much knew where she was all the time, most likely the baby belongs to you.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
3 Jun 2009 /  #24
If she wasn't seeing anyone else at the time and you pretty much knew where she was all the time, most likely the baby belongs to you.

How difficult is it to lie about that in court? I didn't see anyone else... bla bla.
theblueenigma 3 | 188  
3 Jun 2009 /  #25
Again Igy this bloke didnt want a kid by the sound of it and she didnt want to be with him, let Poland take care of her, she's their problem! Surely she can claim some benefits or even go wild and get a job to support her and her child!

I can see understand your perspective Shelly, but he still made the decision not to throw a condom on himself and at some point thought 'F**k it, ill take a chance' He did point out he doesn’t drink alcohol so he made a conscious sober decision to be either lucky or dumb, now he is paying for it. People reading this thread are only going by what the OP is writing, and as we know there are two sides to every story ;) While I have no doubt she is claiming other benefits in Poland (not worth mentioning they are so small) it’s his problem, he made the baby, his choice, his responsibility. As a man he obviously isn’t responsible so the court steps in then to ensure someone takes responsibility. That said if the guy doesn’t want a child grand, but that extra baggage is still physically and legally half his. He pays a miserable E200 from E2, 200 a month; she has the real responsibility and carries that 'baggage' for the rest of her life. Just to point out its guys like this that are crippling welfare systems all over the world, and its us the tax payers that end up paying for his one night of pleasure in the end. His kid, he pays. . and if it was my sister he knocked up Id be making sure she was getting a lot more than a crappy E200 a month off him
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
3 Jun 2009 /  #26
How difficult is it to lie about that in court? I didn't see anyone else... bla bla.

That's why, in the states, it's standard to establish paternity before the courts decide anything. I would advise this dude to establish paternity and go from there. If it's established thru DNA testing it's his child, he has to pay child support. He can complain about it all he wants but he should have worn protection or something until he was for sure it was going to work out with this woman. It's too bad she went back to Poland and jilted him. If you don't want to be stuck in this situation do not have babies until you are sure about the relationship.

He can always try to visit the child in Poland if he wants to spend time with him or her. I am sure the courts would encourage contact with the biological father.
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,444  
3 Jun 2009 /  #27
excellent point !!!!!!!! He sounds like a cheap bastard to me anyways. LOL
theblueenigma 3 | 188  
3 Jun 2009 /  #28
He can always try to visit the child in Poland if he wants to spend time with him or her

He doesnt, he has already pointed out that the flight between Ireland and Poland is too far for him to travel to see a child who doesnt even understand him

excellent point !!!!!!!! He sounds like a cheap bastard to me anyways. LOL

He does, and to be honest and without being 'moral' I reckon the child is far better off without someone like him as a father figure anyways
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
3 Jun 2009 /  #29
He doesnt, he has already pointed out that the flight between Ireland and Poland is too far for him to travel to see a child who doesnt even understand him

The distance is an issue. They don't consider these things before the baby is concieved. These are the kinds of things everyone should think about before they decide to have children. However, just because she went back to Poland, for whatever reason, and we do not know what that reason is because she is not here to tell her side, is not an excuse for him not to pay child support.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
3 Jun 2009 /  #30
It might not be a popular opinion with others, but I disagree with her getting any money at all from you. I suppose if the courts are making you pay then there must be tests done to prove your paternity, if not then I wouldnt pay a thing. Since she doesnt want you to be a part of the baby's life then she shouldnt be asking you for money either.. she will most likely move on with a new husband or partner, so why shouldnt he pay? If you are forced to pay out because of the court order and cannot contest it, then at least think about your other rights too and try to maintain some contact with the child. You dont say how long the arrangement will be in place for, but I guess it would be reviewed periodically so you would have some right to challenge. I know that these laws are there to protect children and the women who raise them, but some people blatantly abuse them and in this case I am on the side of the guy.. and Im a woman!

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