"you think it is doomed " That is true i am a bit pessimist , but also a realist , in the end husbands come back to their wives, they feel secure with wife, and often they have to take care of children together so it is hard for a man not to come back when their children need them. Polish man are proud of their family . Also i heard that statistics show that 2nd time marriages last even less than the first time marriages. I think there is too much baggage ex-husbands ex-wives etc... it is hard for a relationship to develop with all that .
That is why I advice to enjoy the feeling of being in love and being loved while it lasts and not to worry about the future and to plan the future with him , just accept that life had brought you together and gave you passion . know when to let it go ...
I am just thinking aloud You Debianco will do what you decided, you know your situation the best and you know what to do - just look inside of you and there is an answer.
Debiano.. it could work out for you, even though he lied to you in the beginning.. imo no-one has an affair if they are truly happy in their relationship.. although plenty of men will go back to their wives because of family pressure and the stigma of divorce. I dont believe that if a man cheats once he will neccessarily do it again, not to say that he might not.. but your relationship with him is different to that of him and his wife. Does he have children?
Im my case I entered into a similar relationship, but slightly different as his wife was living here in the UK with him. After 6 months he left her for me and she went back to Poland, although she came back after a few months. We are still together after 2 and a half years, but his wife is still here and still wants him back. Also his family put pressure on him to go back to her and I know they will never accept me.. so its not easy. Thankfully there are no children involved in my case, but although he loves me and we have been living together all this time, I dont know if he will ever officially divorce her or if she will ever give up wanting him back.. Anyway I wanted to share this with you so that you know that its not impossible, but also not easy.
sapphire thank -you for the positive commets. i am separated from my husband divorce not final-i am catholic and my father was polish-so i understand polish-catholic values . my parents who held these values in high esteem are sadly now both deceased. i was brought up to belive in "marrige is forever" and family is very important and that god brings two people together. my ex is not catholic though we married in a catholic church and does not hold any values!!! i am so happy that slawek has come into my life eventhough i dont speak good polish and he speaks less english i have an intuition with him communication is not a problem-yet throughout my 20 year marriage poor communication was an issue. i am a realist aswel as a romantic and i know deep in my heart that these feelings of love are real on both sides and though i am aware of age,culture,finacial,religous and family commitments-i have three beautiful children-i am not sure if he has children-i believe in following your heart at all times and being true to yourself. true love always finds a way! slawek should be back in england soon and we are both looking forward to seeing each other -no you are right its not easy- but i am half polish and do not give up on my beliefs!
well good luck to you and I wish you both all the best. My partner spoke hardly any English when we met and I knew no Polish, this combined with the other matters has made it far from easy, but I love him and he loves me. I dont really like posting my personal details on here, but feel free to PM me if you wish to do so. I am interested to hear how your relationship progresses.
one if my polish friend is devastated because he found out that his wife been sleeping around in poland , is sad but this happens in all the countrys in the world and i think he deserve that in the end .
hello espana- thats my point! if a married couple are apart for too long and they dont make the effort to visit each other-then love is found elsewhere?? i know this is a generalisation and i know trust is important BUT if its all too easy-well. lets put it this way if you were really thirsty you would drink dirty water. what i mean is i dont understand why alot of the wives of the polish man who leave poland to make more money dont visit thier husbands.
also is it difficult for them to get a passport these days because i dont think it is??
one of my friends did everything possible to bring his wife from poland, he was not sure if he could afford to bring her with only one job, but he did and now after all the effort they are happy, for me this is love.
the other one use to slag off the first one and say that he can afford to bring her , when he had two jobs , for me this is not love and that why the wife is sleeping around.
again this is my point-i think when the guys/wives are making no effort to be together there MUST be some marital problem in the first place. you have confirmed this. PLEASE CAN SOME ONE TELL ME IS IT DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE IN POLAND TO OBTAIN A PASSPORT
no almost everyone has a passport. I dont think there is a problem. I believe that there are wives and families that visit each other and there are families that dont. Its a simple choice made by humans. I dont think it has nothing to do with nationality.
I belive UK has many divorces per year and many families live a part, dont they?
THANK YOU RONEK-I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAY-SO IF A POLISH GUY TELLS ME HIS WIFE CANT VISIT BECAUSE SHE HAS NO PASSPORT-WHICH MAY BE TRUE BUT IF MONEY ISNT A PROBLEM-WHAT WOULD YOU THINK?? OPINION APPRECIATED
HI ESPANA WHAT DO YOUR TWO POLISH FRIENDS DO AS A JOB-IN SPAIN?
well getting a pasport is a small expence of about 30 american dollars. And it will take you about 1week-4weeks to get your passport after applying for it (its the beurocracy thats all)
I dont want to be rude, but If a guy says that his wife cannot visit him because she doesnt have a passport then he is obviously ************. Cuz getting a passport is no Chinese Wall that cannot be passed.
RONEK DO YOU MEAN HE IS HOPING TO GET AWAY WITH F***K***G around-he just lies maybe married maybe not so he cant be trusted-if he says he has a wife but has no pictures and gets no phone calls-what would you think-please be honest. i respect your opinion
well if he's married as he's saying and he has no photos nor his wive visites him well then... I can see only two logical explenation (although there must be more because life can be very complicated) 1)he's just ******* around in UK 2)he married her some time ago(maybe they got a kid together, and thats only why he married her in the first place) now he's in UK and wants a fresh start. They might no longer even live together but they will not take a divorce for some family reasons- taking a divorce in Poland might be a very complicated process, sometimes both sides want it and still the judge will not allow it if it might hurt family and kids.
sound like he isnt happy with her, but some just like the freedom to do what they want and will then go back to their family. I think every case is different so you can only go on what he tells you really and hope for the best. Hope it works out for you.
those are the two reasons i think. he is not f******** as we have a loving relationship. so nothing has changed there. he has given me mixed messages about the wife-hence this thread. i have intuition that ronek explanation number two is nearer the truth. i am going through a divorce and he knows this-he doesnt seem to want to discuss his situation in poland. i am being honest to myself and dont want to be the cause of some wives misery-but i have a feeling he is in the same situation as me -but has some complications-his sister and friends know about me-he will time me in his own time. if it is reason number one-i would have found out by now
well if it helps you... there might be economical reasons. Lets say they dont live together anymore but they didnt take a divorce as well. If she's staying at home he's probably supporting her all the time but dosnt realy have to pay that much...so he has enough cash for himself and lives like a bachelor.
Prenups arent that popular in Poland so if they didnt have one and they got divorced. He would be the one called responsible for the divorce since he left the family home and poland (thats 100% possible scenario especialy if the judge would be a women).
Now if they got divorced, Polish law states that he might have to give her even half of his pay for about 3 years. And It would be for much longer if he was declared guilty of the divorce. it might hurt his wallet a lot.
yep you are right we have been having a relationship for 7 months now and i need to know-he knows i love him and you all know it now and i will support him- i wont judge him he says he loves me-i think he just cant offer me what he would like-i need to reassure him all i need is his trust in my love-i am not sure how to say this in polish-please help with this-i am hoping he is back soon
ah lol I completly forgot, as people from the passport topic mentioned... We are in Eu now and inside EU we can travel using ID cards, Every single pole has an ID card - its a must have.
so ronek any help with what i can tex him to reassure him to trust in my love?
Debianco i would sit down with the person and talk till the cows come home and then decide your course of action as it seems you have many questions but asking us is fine but at end of day you arent having the relationship with us but with him
... you need to know the truth if something is lost in translation between the both of you ask for a neutral friend who understands polish and english to be present
Many times the man comes to England to find work and if they have children to support and who are going to school then it may not be practical to keep coming to England. You can not leave a flat empty in Poland because of the crime rate so it makes families stay together at home. I think that women too are more home lovers and it is left more to the men to go abroad and look for work. In Guildford we have many bus drivers who live together and rent a house between them. It would not be practical for a whole family to live together in one room so the men probably work long hours including over time and then send the money back to their respective 'panies'. Once the men become established and can earn enough money to keep their own house or flat they invite the whole family over and that is what is beginning to happen in Guildford.
ok michael-but why lie about passport etc=the firm he works for puts them in quite good accomodation and he has never said the firm wont sllow wifes i tell you this because when he was in falmouth they were in caravans-good ones and one of his kolega's-son and girlfriend turned up and stayed in the caravan-this caused a big problem because i found out no women were allowed on the caravan-when i visited slawek we stayed in hotels-
hi ronek not a question but something like this- "whatever your personal situation is in poland my love for you is true, deep and sincere and i will not judge you. please trust in my love as i trust in yours all i ask is the truth from your heart as i give you the truth from my heart. my love grows and blooms for you every second i cannot wait for your return as you know your love clothes me in sunshine the power of our love knows no bars it will conquer and defeat any fear. what more can i say only action speaks lounder than words. love is a happiness my darling"
do you think that sounds ok-advice please-or something like that
"Jakakolwiek jest twoja sytuacja osobista w Polsce, moja milosc do ciebie jest prawdziwa, gleboka i szczera i nie mi ciebie oceniac. Prosze bys ufal w moja milosc tak jak ja ufam w twoja, jedyne o co prosze to prawda od serca tak ja jestem szczera z toba. Moja milosc rosnie i rozlsniewa dla ciebie z kazda sekunda. Nie moge doczekac sie twojego powrotu jako ze wiesz ze twoja milosc odziewa mnie w slonce, sila naszej milosci nie zna granic i zwyciezy i pokona kazdy strach. Coz wiecejmoge powiedziec, jedynie czyny mowia donislej niz slowa. Milosc to szczescie moj drogi.
as a side note from me... its almost like a poem I would get realy confused after getting a letter like that from a gf. its all very enigmatic if u ask me, but then I dont realy know you nor how your relationship works so who am I to judge you.
