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Things not to do with a Polish girl?

Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #1
Hey guys,

I currently have abit of a relationship with a Polish girl, Emilia is her name. She's a really nice girl, but sometimes she just blanks me totally. Others she jumps to say the first word and greet me.

We're both still 15, so very young. But when I'm with her, it feels amazing to see her smile. I know I don't love her, but I do like her.

She's been living here in the UK for about 2 years, and in the past few years I've got to know her alot and started speaking to her daily. Going sit with her at lunch times and making a effort to see her.

But the problem lies is to how I behave around her. Even though I'm only 15, I'm well manner to UK standards.

Is something as simple as putting away her chair for her or getting something she forgotten going to far? Does she find me trying to learn polski offensive? Is opening doors for her etc degrading for her?

It's a strange relationship, I don't know if she has plans to stay in the UK all her life, but I know she's going to college (which is another 3 years here). It'd be great if I could take our relationship to abit of a more serious level, but atm there's alot of pot holes in the road.

She rarely wears make up.. and when she does it's in small amounts, though she still has a beautiful face, clear skin, and an amazing smile.

Yesterday was the first time she had directly walked by and not even looked at me, but she did stick around and I sat with her abit while she talked to her polski friends in polska, which of much I can't understand apart from the odd word. She didn't say much though, she does tell me the important stuff of what their chatting about in an english translation.

The only thing I can think of her being like that was because I gave a friend of hers my mobile number, not in a flirty kind of way, but as a friend. I don't know if she knew about this but yeah, thats the only thing I can think of.

Sorry for blabbing on.. But I feel like I've offended her or something. Anyone got any ideas?
8 Dec 2007 /  #2
ideas for what?

i would say just 'go and **** her' but damn, you are 15 hahah
starchild 2 | 120  
8 Dec 2007 /  #3
Well, relationships at 15 are generally hard work anyway, so don't panic!

But if you look around the forum, particularly in Polish Love and Relationships you will see that many of us have trouble with our Polish boyfriends/girlfriends, etc.

I can't advise you directly on how to treat a Polish girl as I am not Polish, but what I have learnt from having a Polish boyfriend is that if you stick with it and keep working at it then it does get better and any little cultural differences or language barriers can be overcome.

Good luck :-)
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #4
Thanks for that... Usaully I get, "Curttiss Ladd... Why ya like a polish person?!?.."

Too many chavs. Being in highschool kinda makes it harder aswell, But I don't want to leave highschool and then never talk to her again. She lives nearby, but I think theres some stuff with her family. As her brother had knew I rang her and stuff even though she didnt answer.

Gets me abit depressed, but usaully comes out better than expected.
starchild 2 | 120  
8 Dec 2007 /  #5
Oh yeah. There can be problems with the family, my guys family hated me on first mention because I'm English. I don't know if thats a common problem or not though.

Other people will always have a comment about whoever you like and its almost always just a load of cr*p anyway! You have to go with how you feel. They probably ask you why you like a Polish person just because it's a bit different to them and they are like sheep, just following the herd and not daring to do something different to what everyone else is doing.

Don't worry about that though because I don't think you'll find this as much of a problem as you get older. Well, I haven't had this problem anyway. No-one has asked me why I like a Polish guy!

I'm glad you've found this forum though. I think you'll find it helpful.
rafik 18 | 589  
8 Dec 2007 /  #6
i would say just 'go and **** her' but damn, you are 15 hahah

plain speaking as usual,huh? :)
osiol 55 | 3,922  
8 Dec 2007 /  #7
Why ya like a polish person?!

To which the answer is 'Why are you a ****?'
I didn't start the swearing on here.
8 Dec 2007 /  #8
plain speaking as usual,huh? :)

This is an incorrect linguistic calque of a Polish idiom ("prosto z mostu"). It refers to actions, mostly speech though, where people are very direct ad don't dress things up in unnecessary words. Krysia's and plk's translations are good, I'd add that a person who speaks "prosto z mostu" is a "straight shooter"

rafik 18 | 589  
8 Dec 2007 /  #9

how would you say then? i'm preatty sure that one of my english friends said "he/she is a plain speaking person"
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #10
Hehe, You guys seem cool.

I don't really want to look to far into the future, as we aren't even that serious yet. I don't know how it'll end up.

Even though it's abit far, I'd live in poland if I had to to be with her. From what she's told me it's very nice. She used to live just 50 metres from the sea, in a small town that I can't remember the name of. Now she lives in a small terrist house next to a railway. I feel really sorry for her and stuff, but I'm not willing to have a relationship based on money. I'm more well off than most people, fancy cars and expensive furniture, but she matters more to me than just something material.

I think what you said rafik was easily understandable. A different way of saying what I think you mean would be "Straight to the point".
rafik 18 | 589  
8 Dec 2007 /  #11
"straight shooter"

is that the answer?
8 Dec 2007 /  #12
Yep. Wysp's a straight shooter.
osiol 55 | 3,922  
8 Dec 2007 /  #13
In other words, she's plain speaking again.

Anyone got any ideas?

Learn some kind/pleasant/suggestive/kinky phrases in Polish and whisper them in her ear.
My strongest piece of advice is check out what kind of advice people here give. I did recently advise someone to become a bank robber and make their getaway to somewhere in South America, so my advice isn't always the best.
8 Dec 2007 /  #14
In other words, she's plain speaking again.

Yes, both are technically correct.
southern 75 | 7,096  
8 Dec 2007 /  #15
Get to know her polish friends better.Try to mix in their groups to understand a bit the slavic mentality.
8 Dec 2007 /  #16
And listen to Southern, He is quite a resource :~)
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #17
Good advice, I'm going to try that.

Only thing I know at the moment is Cześć laska, which she taught me herself. :)

Thing is, not many of her polish friends are very good at english so, funny times. Her little brother is always like.. "You fancy my sister!!" it's funny, but does get annoying when there flying around when I'm with her.
8 Dec 2007 /  #18
Even though it's abit far, I'd live in poland if I had to to be with her

Hold your horses Curtis, sounds like shes blowing hot n' cold which can really pull some heartstrings not necessarily in a goodway. Anyways for 15 you sound pretty level headed so keep the manners as even if shes too young to not fully appreciate them, they will help in later life. Besides try not to wear your heart on your sleeve otherwise Im afraid you'll only learn the hardway :)
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #19
I'm not trying to make plans in the future, But it's going to come around the corner at some stage.

I respect her and if she tells me she doesn't like something I with her then I stop it.
sana 2 | 48  
8 Dec 2007 /  #20
Curtis you seem to be clever and polite. I had to teach my boyfriend how to treat me when he was 26 he he.
After our first date I didnt see the point to see him any more cos he didnt pay for the dinner. I was shocked since in polish coultre for the first date the guy pays. Or he didnt let me go first in the door, or he used to go foward me wich was so annoying, when I was left behind and had to run after. Guys remeber girls always first. When you do shopping carry the bag. I know the dinner thing dosent apply for you since you not working and I woudnt be bother about putting away the chair. I dont like the Don Juan type either.
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #21
WHAT? Sorry Sana, but if I was your boyfriend, I'd be very embarrassed about not paying for a first date. If he had asked you out to dinner after that, then it wouldn't be questionable for him not to pay.

I even carry the bags for my mum when she has shopping to be taken from the car into the house etc. I'd probly go through the door first though, and hold it open for the lady I'm with.

and I think you mispelt "culture" as coultre :) I know it's rude to correct people's english, but if no one ever says anything, you never learn.
porta 18 | 297  
8 Dec 2007 /  #22
Here in Norway it is normal to go first and hold the door open ,and then lead the lady inside.
Also normal to guide her by holding her hand out the door again :)
I dont know how it is in Sweden Sana, but i would have thought it is not to far away from Norwegian standards. :)
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
8 Dec 2007 /  #23
I know it's rude to correct people's english, but if no one ever says anything, you never learn.

True. But it's also wise to check your own posts before making such a comment.
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #24
I was never very good at english, I wouldn't have said anything is it was minor words just muddled up slightly.
sana 2 | 48  
8 Dec 2007 /  #25
I know some English(guy)-Polish(girl) couples and the guys wasnt keen on paying for dinner as well. The girls in Sweden fight so much about being independent. He told me that guys in Sweden are confused how to bahave becouse if he would pay for dinner with the Swedish girl, she would may be offendet. The door thing, I just want to go first noone needs to hold the door for me. He went through some school what I want and behaves perfect now. I told him 'prosto z mostu'-stright forward :-). He did it once running in front of me at the airport I was pissed off...
Firestorm 6 | 400  
8 Dec 2007 /  #26
To which the answer is 'Why are you a ****?'
I didn't start the swearing on here.

Two wrongs dont make one right. :))
osiol 55 | 3,922  
8 Dec 2007 /  #27
No. If you want to get mathematical, too many ****s make multiplication.
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #28
I've never heard of so many people dating foreign partners ever...

When I first liked Emilia I thought I was one in a billion, her being polish never made me feel embarrassed. But it was always there because socially people my age can't seem to understand that it really doesn't matter.

I don't know how my parents/family would react, but I'm sure they would support me. I'd be proud to be with her.
nikola 3 | 18  
8 Dec 2007 /  #29
Usaully I get, "Curttiss Ladd... Why ya like a polish person?!?.."

I get that ALL the time.
I live near Glasgow in Scotland, so the place is PACKED with chavs.

But generally, I like Polish boys that either have girlfriends or dont think I'm attractive ):
I asked one boy to go to the cinema with me. And he said to me 'Sorry I cant tomorrow. Maybe next time' and I was speaking to a Polish friend of mine, and she said 'Polish boys think it's rude to tell you that they are not interested'

Which hurt me :/ cause I would rather him tell me that he is not interested that leave me hanging.
But he laughs at my jokes, he smiles and speaks basic Polski to me. But he just confuses me :/

Hope things sort out soon Curtis.
Why don't you just ask her about the ignoring thing?
OP Curtis 3 | 73  
8 Dec 2007 /  #30
I asked her awhile ago.. like a month ago. She was like "What..." and turned to friend of ours and she asked her if she had being ignoring me... So yeah, the friend says no because it's the only way she could get out of it alive.

Don't think it was an honist answer from her, but there's nothing I could do.

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