It doesn't take a math scientist to know because she wrote:
I'm a Spanish girl who met last summer a sweet(at that time I thought so) Polish guy in Galway( Ireland). We had sex, and when I came back to Spain, we kept in touch, through sms, e-mail, phone, messenger...
She is from Spain (not Africa or another poor country). Do you think a person who can afford to go to vacation abroad (possibly not for the first time), has cell phone, computer etc. cannot feed herself and her child?
i was talking not about HER situation but about ur comments towards southern. u guys on this forum always make such things and then trying to proove it was different. the same about sledz an krysia
This thread in my opinion is in danger of turning into a thread that is going to turn into a moral high ground and treading on a VERY delicate issue with alot of people. May asked for helpful advice not a brutal onslaught from posters ... abortion is a difficult and in many insists a decision that is not taken lightly.
also an english saying "it takes two to tango" and maybe in the heat of passions certain little rainmac was forgotten to be used .. but whats happened has .. please dont destroy this thread with comments that are not called for.
Feeding the child is not a problem. The problem is that I don't have a family who can help me raising the child, my job takes me too much time, and if I had the child, I'd want him/her to feel loved also by his father, and if I go on dreaming, I'd also like the child to live in a happy home with no affective lacks at all.
He knows for sure I haven't been with anyone else, I'm not that kind of girl, so he knows with no doubt he's the father. I don't need either his money or his surname, just some support I'm not receiving from him, even he hasn't answered my last e-mail.
Do you know that the government is actually helpful if you don't have enough money to buy food for the child?
so you want her to go for handouts?
he hasn't answered my last e-mail.
keep after him.. don't just let him off easy. he needs to be responsible for his actions.. you going after him for support is the responsible thing to do.
I don't need either his money or his surname, just some support I'm not receiving from him, even he hasn't answered my last e-mail.
looks like he doesnt want to get involved, his money and his surname for the baby would be more useful to you than clinging onto what you had with him. its over, im sorry.
If you keep on sending e-mails,he will think you are going to ask for money and disappear totally.
he might disappear anyway just to avoid responsibility. dont stalk him, but dont let him forget about the 'problem' you have and make sure he knows you are serious and he cant manipulate you.
May, you have a big dilemma but now that it's happened you must look to a future that consists of you and a beautiful newborn life and you must forget a guy who is clearly not interested. If he was, he would of said as much.
Find one of your friends who you trust and you can speak to and confide in them. Failing that, I think your sisters, if you are close to them, will want to help you.
You feel at the moment, mixed up and scared and it seems that nothing will go right, but it will, some talk of abortion but take a huge deep breath before even considering this...think A LOT about it. This guy who made you pregnant, your friends who might advise it...they don't have to deal with the feelings you'll have after it happens. If you do it, you must be completely sure of why.
It's hard right now to think that your life can be good again but it can...you will have to work hard and bringing up a child is hard but worth it...
You're going to have to be strong....and you can be. I'm a single mom, too. Having a baby is the most natural thing in the world. There are organizations, churches, that can help with food and supplies. Yes, it will be a big change in your life -- it is for any woman -- even a wealthy woman who has a husband to help her.
But if you trust God, He'll send the right people into your life to help you with your pregnancy....I sense He already has sent supportive friends into your life.
who knows shes just makes stuff up to cause trouble
shes a troll
True. But this girl is best ignored. This is a sensitive thread and can do without the likes of Wyspianska trying to prove herself. Everything must always be about Wyspianska - sorry kid, it's not always that way...
Here is a post from a post-abortion chat group I belong to.
Please read it for an honest look at what happens when you make a decision about a child's life for "practical" or "sensible" reasons....
"How can you ever put back the pieces of a shattered heart when one major piece is gone forever.
my little angel would have been so loved, was so loved, i just didn't realise how much so until it was too late, i let fear take over....
how can this ever get any better when i can never have her here in my arms.
we should be a family, it would have been hard, but it would have worked, we really could have made it work, all those stupid "reasons" finances, uni etc, they could have been worked out, im not just saying that, they could have been, i was just scared, well guess what i still am scared, scared that this hurt, this regret, this longing, this unbearable ache right in the centre of my whole being will never leave
I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to May. Are you her brain -- do you think for her? Mind your own business.
And it is not my "opinion" -- it is an actual post written by a real person who had an abortion. I didn't make it up. I am sharing it for a look at the other side. You can see dozens of posts like it ion post-abortion forums, but I know you won't look because you don't have the ba**s to change your own stubborn "opinion."
I don't think it's helpful to May to have pushed on her, some opinions of people who have regretted an abortion. Her time is difficult enough!
You can see dozens of posts like it ion post-abortion forums, but I know you won't look because you don't have the ba**s to change your own stubborn "opinion."
You have no clue about me or my life. My opinion is that any decision must be May's and I wouldn't even dream of shoving her in one direction or another like you with your crap "regret abortion" post!
No Lucynda, I do not think this is helpful - just pushing an opinion really.
So it's okay for you to have an "opinion," but not me, eh? How fair and impartial of you.
As for my "crap regret abortion" post, all I can say is that it is real, and happened to a real person.
But perhaps you don't give a sh*t because the emotions expressed are not real for you, so therefore no one else should be exposed to its reality.
I posted it because I really care....about women, their feelings, about children. I'm a mother, and know what it is like to give life to a child. Do you? I've been in May's shoes. Have you?
it's okay for you to have an "opinion," but not me, eh? How fair and impartial of you.
Hmm, but my opinion doesn't include a push towards one opinion...I offer support...
As for my "crap regret abortion" post, all I can say is that it is real, and happened to a real person.
Maybe so but is not helpful here when replying to a girl who is confused, upset, worried, angry and is needing advice...
But perhaps you don't give a sh*t because the emotions expressed are not real for you, so therefore no one else should be exposed to its reality.
You have no clue...I wouldn't reply unless I knew of some reality to what is posted.
I posted it because I really care....about women, their feelings, about children. I'm a mother, and know what it is like to give life to a child. Do you? I've been in May's shoes. Have you?
I don't personally know what it's like to give life but I have been very closely involved in losing this precious life...you say you care, if you did, you wouldn't push one opinion forward you would support any decision made.
May
most people here would like to help you and support you and I think you should pay attention to my original reply (#42) rather than some replies I have to make to another person and also to many replies from other members. We can help you while you are confused and worried and unhappy and scared...
I have been very closely involved in losing this precious life
So you and Lucynda have the same opinion on the fact that life is precious. I agree with you both. Argumentations why life is precious aren't that important, the fact that it's precious counts. So no need to fight about that.
It is, but I also can't be bothered with people who push anti-abortion...there are some, heart-wrenching reasons why abortion might apply. But if I was in the position of not knowing what to do, I wouldn't want some "opinion" for not having one shoved in my face.
Cheer up - if I know my mother, Polish parents can be quite forceful, if you manage to win them over... true Polish men can be quite loyal... and though Polish women at times need to fight to keep their men, generally they will step aside if they see that he has a child... ;)
1. Pray - it helps to keep focused and look at this as a joyous situation - trust me it'll be a wonderful experience and even your body will produce chemicals that any depressed people would give their right arm for! Sounds like there was a lot of passion...
2. Be friendly and keep in touch with him - he may feel different once the time goes by... and he realises that he's been "caught out" ;)
a. Polish women can be very nosy at times - ;) - can't hide things from them for long... :D 3. See if you can get to meet his parents (just so that you can tell the child a little about his/her ancestry) 4. Polish System is VERY firm on child-support payments if you can proved that he is the father of your child - as if the Irish/British (they have no problems deducting support directly from his salary) - and the child will be born a Polish citizen (if that's any consolation).
You know, my mum was married, but dad left her (and me) before I was 2 years old (he even wanted her to have an abortion - I'm glad she didn't listen to him! :D)... these days marriages can break up so readily - one feels completely shattered...
My mother brought me up - all by her lonesome self - and I loved her with all my heart for that gift and her sacrifice (except when I was a teenager! ;D)... I held her hand when she died in march this year and miss her "nagging" tremendously...
You need to talk with someone, who won't judge you. I don't understand why you are so concerned about this man's feelings, and you feel you aren't worthy of anything.
You are worth a lot! I personally don't care how this situation came about - it took two to tango - you didn't do it alone.
Right now, my concerns are about YOU. It matters not whether you decide to bring the pregnancy to fruition, or have an abortion. I won't think any different of you, no matter what.
You are scared and confused. You do not matter any less than this man, and you deserve to be happy! It shouldn't be a decision that he gets to be happy, and you toil away in misery.
Talk to your friends - who cares if they hate him, they are YOUR protectors! Talk to a therapist, talk to someone around you.
You are welcome to pm me, if you like. I wish only the best for you, and will think good, soothing thoughts for you amidst this chaos.
You need to HONESTLY evaluate what kind of situation you could offer a child. Yes of course you would love your child, but you must think about the day to day needs and challenges that would be involved.
People like to imagine the summer without imagining the mosquitos if you know what I mean. You really have to choose the season that will be best for you to develop in.
What kind of support would you have for you and for the child? These are difficult questions that demand honest answers. I can only advocate choosing what's best for a child, sometimes that's to not be put in a crap situation but i don't know your situation.
If you do plan on keeping the child then this guy MUST be held responsible. You may want him to be happy but it sounds like he's happy to ruin lives and take no responsibility for his part.
My feelings are you shouldn't take on a responsibilty that you can't handle. Be honest with yourself in asking whether or not you can be a single mother, and for how long, and what your long term goals are.
Whatever you choose, be proud and you be your own judge, your life is your choices, the rest of us are just talkers. I wish you the best in your life.
Just goes to show you, men are men...good luck May do what makes you happy because as you have found out you are the only person you can count on !!! Like I always say, lifes too short for regrets, that's why I dont have them :) Be happy..
