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Need help: Can't get my polish girl to say "I love you"


Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #1
She's the most amazing girl I've met. She smells like roses, tastes like rain and races my pulse like a speeding train. I've known her for a little more than a month now. We met when I was filming an ad film in Poland. From the moment we saw each other, we drew closer every day. The first spell of meetings began with a few cordial exchanges of pleasantries and ended with an exchange of email ids. And then I left Poland to my home half-way around the world, but the mails we sent each other fuelled a fire that even oceans couldn't quench. Oceans that I crossed to met her once again, this time not to make a film - but to capture a star, to catch a dream, to chase a destiny. We wept when we made tender love, we whispered when we walked hand-in-hand, we lied when we said we could wait until we meet again. I met her parents; shook the hands of her father with a firm, reassuring grasp to tell him I would never leave his daughter's hands should he give them to me. I praised her mother for the enchanting beauty she gave as a legacy to her firstborn daughter; deep were their gratitude when they heard my sincere compliments, deeper still their pride as they saw how much I cared for their princess.

I poured out my heart to my polish lady; I emptied myself out to her; I left no love unspoken, no promise unfulfilled, no dream uncertain. As often our eyes met, I told her that I care for her. As often as we touched, I told her I will be there for her. But she still withheld her lips from uttering the words I so longed to hear - "I love you".

I walked her at 2 a.m. in the starless morning, braving the punishing cold and draping on her the sweater that would keep me warm. I numbed the pain of the bitter wind beating on my chest, considering it not a sacrifice but a joy to be able to keep her tender skin warmer than mine. And as I squeezed her hand gently I whispered once more into her ears, I love you. She smiled back at me and her lips moved to lifelessly say, "I know you do".

For four days and four nights I cherished her, praised her, embraced her and reduced myself to a romantic nomad wanting nothing more than to hear the words I so often lavished on her. But she never did say she loves me. Her body did, her kisses did, her touch did. But her lips, they were as stubborn as the grave that never gives back its dead, as unyielding as a mighty oak that proudly spurns the gentle breeze.

Now I'm back in my home. Miles away from the woman who still confesses that she misses me, still longs to hear my voice, yet never utters the words, "I love you" - not even in response to mine.

I need to know if Polish women have a hard time saying these words to the one they love, or is it just my beautiful princess. For if that's the way every Polish woman feels and behaves, then I will gladly listen to the sound of her silence and draw my strength for tomorrow in the unsaid words that she didn't utter today. But if it's only my lady who refrains from saying it, then I shall try hard to woo her and harder still to stifle my tears.
Rachey - | 3  
18 Sep 2007 /  #2
I've known her for a little more than a month now.

There might be a clue there as to why she hasn't said the three words.....!
osiol 55 | 3,922  
18 Sep 2007 /  #3
With all that, do you need those three words?
Has she said it in Polish and you didn't know?
Shawn_H  
18 Sep 2007 /  #4
I've known her for a little more than a month now

try hard to woo her

Yep, Keep trying.

Has she said it in Polish and you didn't know?

Something like Kocham sie (ko-ham shyeh)?
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #5
Ah Rachey, if time is the reason, then I shall wait. Perhaps fools rush in where angels dare to dread.

Something like Kocham sie (ko-ham shyeh)?

We always speak in English to each other, since I don't understand Polish at all. So if she did say it in Polish, she meant for me not to hear it. It may have helped her, but it leaves me at square one.
osiol 55 | 3,922  
18 Sep 2007 /  #6
it leaves me at square one

Doesn't look like square one to me.
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #7
So you think I'm overrating the importance of the words (I love you) into a needless confession of what already exists?
osiol 55 | 3,922  
18 Sep 2007 /  #8
No, because they are the most wonderful words you can possibly hear,
but I wouldn't describe your situation as square one.
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
18 Sep 2007 /  #9
because they are the most wonderful words you can possibly hear,

This is true (but also close behind is hearing your six lottery numbers being drawn on a Saturday night ;).

No, it is true. To hear those three words (especially for the first time) is perfectly wonderful...but it does take a lot of time to actually say them. It's not because she's Polish that she can't say them, it's because she's not ready. That doesn't mean she's not totally into you.
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #10
but I wouldn't describe your situation as square one.

You're right. Square one was a long time ago. May be a month ago in calendar terms, but eons ago in relationship terms. Like they say - what goes around comes around. I've been going around her telling her how I feel, someday soon she'll get to doing the same. I guess women are wired differently. Must be some self-preservation mechanism kicking in.
Shawn_H  
18 Sep 2007 /  #11
if she did say it in Polish

She may have said it... You should listen for this.
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #12
So if she did say it in Polish, she meant for me not to hear it. It may have helped her, but it leaves me at square one.

I Think she's allready said it...

You've just not been listening.. Or looking.
It's hard to hear the beating of another heart.
When all you can hear is your own..

You use the word ( I ) Like a weapon trying to cut the words you seek from thin air.
I Did this.. I did that.. I said this.. I told that..
There is no I. In We. Together. Or Us..
Try writting it again for yourself. This time change I. Into We.

The expression.. ( Unable to see the wood. through the trees.) Springs to mind.
A Kiss.
A Touch.
A Gesture.
The smile you werent expecting..

When you tell her you Love her. Dont wait for an answer..
Say it because you do. Not because you expect her to say it back.
If she Loves you. She will show you.

When she's ready. Then she will tell you.
Because she will mean it too.

A Month is such a short time..
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
18 Sep 2007 /  #13
Wow, that's so very nice Firestorm :)
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
18 Sep 2007 /  #15
Now that is a big smile.
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #16
Thats a Shy Smile too. (o_~)
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #17
When you tell her you Love her. Dont wait for an answer..
Say it because you do. Not because you expect her to say it back.

Well said, firestorm! But you think it's wise if I altogether stop telling her that? I don't want my words to lose their worth and value by repeating them often that they start to sound stale and ultimately evoke a "there he goes again..." response from her. I know love shouldn't be rushed, but hey, there's a lot many "I miss you so much", "I think of you all the time" sms that she's sending me. I'd like to believe she does, and I'd also like to believe that she feels that way because she's in love with me. Now perhaps there are deeper shades of love that she needs to discover in the spectrum. I may have raced her to it. And I'm just waiting for her to get there.
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
18 Sep 2007 /  #18
I may have raced her to it. And I'm just waiting for her to get there.

This is true. It really is very hard to utter those words you know.

I don't want my words to lose their worth

They won't lose their worth if you mean them.
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #19
Well its not a Gregorian Chant.

And unless your trying to cast a spell(Hope your not a witch doctor) Jk
I wouldn't just keep repeating it.
The words allmost loose their meaning.

Wait for the right moments.. And slip it in like a whisper..
And while your waiting for those moments..
Show her you do..
Gestures.
Learn little Sentances.. Words.. Phrases..
Try to find out the things she likes..

It took me 1 week of research.
And 4 days of aching hands.
To cut out a Wycinanki Star. With our initials on it.( And plenty of co.kups) lol

But Her Smile... Was well worth the effort..

Anyone can Buy a gift.
I believe a gift you created.. However simple.
Is worth far more...

They won't lose their worth if you mean them.

Thats true..

At the moment..

Im working on a deck of cards.
Cutting out the centres.(Only half way through.)
Like a square.
And replacing the centre with Type written reasons to love her.. ( Patent Applied for )

And not ONCE. In all 52 cards.
Will the Words.. " I love you " be written.

Bit of pritt stick.. 1 pack of cards.. The internet.. And a lot of patience.
Im also lucky enough to have access to a laminator. ( So they will never wear out )

Why do it..?
Because it makes her Smile..
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #20
They won't lose their worth if you mean them.

Well, I mean it every time I say it. But I worry about the law of diminishing marginal utility. i.e. the more she hears me say it, the less she's going to be swept off her feet or be flattered by it. I can mean it stronger every time, but will it come across to her in its full strength? Do note, the only way we correspond now is over international call (which is expensive and thus brief), sms and email. So she's going to read me say I love her via a rather impersonal medium compared to flesh and blood. She might pick up the excitement in my voice, but I'm afraid these words will drown among the others spoken. Now the thorn in my side is - do I keep saying it or do I make these words so rare that they become dear?
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #21
Saying something is...
Doesnt make it so..

Where are you..?
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
18 Sep 2007 /  #22
the more she hears me say it, the less she's going to be swept off her feet

Unless you're saying it every five minutes I don't think she'll be less affected by it.

these words will drown among the others spoken

You seem to have a way with words so I doubt this will happen... ;)
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #23
the only way we correspond now is over international call (which is expensive and thus brief), sms and email. So she's going to read me say I love her via a rather impersonal medium compared to flesh and blood.

You dont need to tell her everytime you write.. Think Quality. Not quantity..
Save it for when you speak to her.. Personally.

The guys on here are Awesome..
Search the threads. Or Ask.
You will find plenty willing to teach you phonetically to say i love you. ( In polish )
And other cute lil sentances. Or phrases.
Dont tell her your learning it.

Wait till your saying goodnight. At the end of a call.
And say it. ( In your best polish ) :)))
Even if you think it sounds like your being sick.

It may just impress her soo much. that your trying..

You dont say where you are from..
If its not to rude. Can i ask..?
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #24
You seem to have a way with words so I doubt this will happen... ;)

Thank you PD, you made me smile. I started out as a copywriter in the ad world, so words are my arsenal. Not that it makes your compliment redundant, on the contrary, it was very kind of you to slip it in as an encouragement.

Where are you..?

Firestorm, I'd like to tell you where I'm from and where I live. But I don't want to disclose my nationality or where I live - at least not now , because I've noticed that somehow or the other people throw in the 'race' card and generalisations are drawn and premature conclusions are made. I'm sure you're not one going to initiate any such remarks, but others just might find the bait too irresistible.
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #25
I Understand. :)

And np.
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
18 Sep 2007 /  #26
Save it for when you speak to her.. Personally.

To all who're on this thread: I think Firestorm is Hitch. His advice is really sensible and his ideas are refreshingly original. By the way, Firestorm, you better start patenting some of your ideas, would make good retirement sense.
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #27
Hey now. Dont make me blush.. Lol

Hmmmm Good idea though. Hehe
Lucynda 4 | 70  
18 Sep 2007 /  #28
She may be waiting for more time to pass. A woman is a bit more down to earth than a man, and realises that there's more to life than romance. She may feel more in love once you have the discussion about how many kids you want, where you're going to live, what religion you want your kids raised etc. etc. etc.

It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you....on the contrary, she wants to see if you're going to feel this way in 5 years, 10 years. Being young, she may not even know how to articulate this, but her instincts -- feminine and primordial -- hold her back.
Firestorm 6 | 400  
18 Sep 2007 /  #29
She may feel more in love once you have the discussion about how many kids you want, where you're going to live, what religion you want your kids raised etc. etc. etc.

She may also disapear so fast. she leaves scorch marks.
Not everyone wants there life planned out for them before they have even gotten engaged.

Hmmmm

Hi Honey. :)
Hi.)
I Love you.
Lets get married. Have 4 kids. Live in portugal and raise the kids as mormons.
Wtf..? ( Gone )

Well.
That sure took the surprises out of life. Lol
OP Hmmm 1 | 69  
19 Sep 2007 /  #30
Hi Folks. Apparently, persistence is a virtue. I finally threw all caution to the wind and asked my lady love straight away why she's reluctant to tell me she loves me when everything else clearly indicates that she does. It turns out that she was once in love with another - or so she had thought - and when she told him that she loved him, he began to distance himself from her and drifted away. Once bitten, twice shy. She had decided she's not going to let history repeat itself, so she never let her guard down. But now that I had peered in, she understood the genuinity of my feelings for her and for the first time since our relatioship began she reciprocated with the most precious words ever - I LOVE YOU. She didn't stop with that, but she told me that she's so deeply in love with me that she'll keep me like the blood in her veins and that she desires me more than she does her next heartbeat. I am feeling so wonderful at the flood of love coming my way. Polish women have nerves of steel but a heart of gold. I thank you all for your kind advices and encouragement. My Polish girl now tells me she loves me - no prompting required. We're going to spend the new year's in Bali and take our relationship to the next level soon. Firestorm - you're da main man dude! Thanks y'all!

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