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"I love you" in Polish culture...


polishgirltx  
1 Sep 2008 /  #1
I, as a Pole, cannot say those words just to anybody... it is VERY important to me... it's said between parents and children, couples... those word has very intense meaning in the Polish culture; if it's said - it means the world...

but I live in the US, and i hear it it everyday...from anybody...just like that...everyday basis...and it bugs me, because i don't know how to response to that...it doesn't have any meaning to me anymore...

i still believe that I LOVE YOU is the strongest expression to somebody you REALLY love...

what do you think?
plk123 8 | 4,150  
2 Sep 2008 /  #2
love it. :)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
2 Sep 2008 /  #3
I, as a Pole, cannot say those words just to anybody

polishgirltx, I love you. :)
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
2 Sep 2008 /  #4
what do you think?

It makes me cringe...Im of the same opinion of you, that it's a word to be used sparingly and only to be used when you MEAN it.
Doubtfullove 4 | 28  
2 Sep 2008 /  #5
I believe these words should only be used when you really mean it, to people that are very important to you.

But aren't the Americans a bit gushy in general (well the ones I deal with at work from Houston are...) so doesn't surprise me.......but then I'm a dour Scot so what do I know! Hehehe
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
2 Sep 2008 /  #6
Yanks probably say it to the guy who serves them their Big Mac and fries.
z_darius 14 | 3,969  
2 Sep 2008 /  #7
I heard people say "I love this toiled bowl", standing right next to their so called loved ones (not toilets). I guess that must have made the loved ones feel great, to to share someone's love with a sshiter.

To be fair, the toilet was a water efficient one though, and very expensive .
Solan 1 | 16  
2 Sep 2008 /  #8
In norwegian we have two different ways of saying you love someone. One is 'Jeg er glad i deg', witch means something like I care about you very much. Something you would say to your close friends or parents. The other is 'Jeg elsker deg'. This is like I love you, coham cie, and something you would most likely only say to your partner or child. I find it a bit strange also when people say they elsker things or places because elske is something more than just really liking ice cream for example!
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
3 Sep 2008 /  #9
Im of the same opinion of you, that it's a word to be used sparingly and only to be used when you MEAN it.

But aren't the Americans a bit gushy in general (well the ones I deal with at work from Houston are...) so doesn't surprise me

yes, we believe in love. We give it freely and it's very real.
OP polishgirltx  
3 Sep 2008 /  #10
it's very real.

i can't agree here...
glamrockxx - | 36  
3 Sep 2008 /  #11
I hear it often. I say it often. And I always mean it.

To me, I think it's how the person says it or how the other person takes it. I love my family and friends truly; obviously not the same way as I love my significant other, but love them nonetheless.

Of course I wouldn't say I love you to someone I hardly know. I'm going to say it to people that are important to me and whom I really care about.

I think love means differently to different people. We don't all share the same thoughts of love, do we? Love doesn't have to be the same meaning in everyone's minds. As long as it's meant.

So, I'm with you by not just throwing those words around.
z_darius 14 | 3,969  
3 Sep 2008 /  #12
Of course I wouldn't say I love you to someone I hardly know.

Most Americans are different. They will say they love an MP3 player before they even buy it.
OP polishgirltx  
3 Sep 2008 /  #13
They will say they love an MP3 player before they even buy it.

that's not what i'm talking about... i also, a Pole, may love my Tiffany's earrings i got last week... i'm asking about people...

in Poland, i heard that from really close people (family), not even from friends, because we just liked each other... but in the us, i hear it very often and i do not believe it... when i don't say it back, people look at me as i was weird... "yes, i like you a lot, but i do not love you", is it hard to get...?... i say it, when i really mean it...
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
3 Sep 2008 /  #14
"yes, i like you a lot, but i do not love you", is is hard to get...?... i say it, when i really mean it...

are you talking about men? :)
OP polishgirltx  
3 Sep 2008 /  #15
lol...no...
about two cultures... and to me it's a big difference...
Dice 15 | 452  
3 Sep 2008 /  #16
but in the us, i hear it very often and i do not believe it... when i don't say it back, people look at me as i was weird... "yes, i like you a lot, but i do not love you", is it hard to get...?... i say it, when i really mean it...

For me it's the opposite: I may not like everybody in my family, but I do love them anyways.

They're your family, you gotta love'em. But you don't have to like them :)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
3 Sep 2008 /  #17
well, I've seen you on the forum for a long time, we've talked about things, I've heard your voice on the speaking thread. As an American that makes it okay to say that I love you and to believe it when I say it. But it's different in Poland. That's very true.
OP polishgirltx  
3 Sep 2008 /  #18
yes, you can say it, but is it really the truth?
i love you is deep in my heart
and yes, i like a lot many people :P

But it's different in Poland. That's very true.

i don't mean to sound cold... i just don't want somebody misinterpreted my words and actions...
so is it a Poles' thing or just me?
Eurola 4 | 1,906  
3 Sep 2008 /  #19
I love it, I love you, I love the way it looks - are just phrases used freely, often to express liking of something or someone. We know it means just that.

I love the paint color I just picked to paint my condo with...but really, I just like it very much. I don't want to marry it and spend my life with it....that's a different kind of love. I guess, it always means just "I like'. Well...and there is the time when you stand in front of this gorgeous hunk... he says "I love you" as he looks deeply into your eyes, expecting the same.

The bucket of paint did not that :( yet, I love it!

I have to agree. Polish language makes a difference between liking and loving.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
4 Sep 2008 /  #20
i don't mean to sound cold... i just don't want somebody misinterpreted my words and actions...
so is it a Poles' thing or just me?

You're definately not cold, just particular about the your choice of words, you obviously don't feel comfy telling every tom dick and harriot that you love them, same here.

It's definately not a Polish or you thing thing because Im English and not the "gushing" type. My family are quite reserved so those kinds of words are very special when used.

As for referring to things like shoes - I say "I adore" rather than love...
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
4 Sep 2008 /  #21
yes, you can say it, but is it really the truth?
i love you is deep in my heart
and yes, i like a lot many people :P

Sometimes people will say they love you but they treat you so badly that you question their words. Just saying it doesn't mean it's real the way you believe love to be. We all have our ideas of what love is. There's nothing wrong with that.
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
4 Sep 2008 /  #22
i suppose there are different kinds of love, and it also depends on the context...
Zosia 1 | 51  
7 Sep 2008 /  #23
i agree with you, polishgirltx. My family in poland makes comments about american tv shows and movies where the words i love you are said every 5 seconds (it seems that way anyway). Most of the time they just roll their eyes, probably because oversaying it kind of makes it seem less special after awhile. I like just using that phrase for people that really mean alot to you- such as your parents, close family members or your partner.
krysia 23 | 3,058  
7 Sep 2008 /  #24
"I love my dog" sounds normal in English, but if I said "kocham mojego psa" in Poland, they will think you're a pervert. Hehehe

Some words have different meanings in different cultures although they are the same words. Just have to live with it, I guess...?
OP polishgirltx  
7 Sep 2008 /  #25
do you love to hate it?
do you hate to love it?
....
Amerykanka 1 | 5  
13 Sep 2008 /  #26
Alot of Americans definitely say it way too often, and I'm American (hee hee =P).
I've had friends and dates that would say 'I love you' way too soon, and if you don't say it back they tend to get a little offended. Its just a little creepy, because you either have to say it even when you don't mean it, or risk having them being offended.
zabka 1 | 6  
16 Sep 2008 /  #27
ok so my Polish bf has just recently said "i love you" to me. Now coming from what you are saying, this is a very real emotion, he is feeling. He is not just throwing these words around to please me???
stefaniaa - | 1  
20 Sep 2008 /  #28
funny you say this, because it's also exactly the same in the spanish culture.
"te quiero"-i'm quite fond of you/i really like you- common in young relationships
"te amo"-you are my world/i love you- the actual translation is i love you but it means much more than that.

i find it so odd how it means much more to certain culture than does american...i guess we find it casual???
robert - | 4  
19 Oct 2008 /  #29
i had a relationship where a polish girl said " i love you" and i replyed the same

"you are my home she said" so when things get a little crazy sometimes why she ran away never to be heard of again.....? she ignore,s my call's an my mail's.........her english girlfriends have turned her into a cold heart nothing like she was before....?

any ideas anyone...." i love you" sometimes really are just words people say for themselves.............?

broken hearted...x
joepilsudski 26 | 1,389  
20 Oct 2008 /  #30
Ja wola traktowańá ty podobny pewien pies!

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